**********
Hey hey hey, chicken livers, oh baby baby yeaaaaaahhh…
If you actually read that, um, it's explained by the fact that no one in their right mind would ever want to finish this story… so I'm just rambling.
**********
Part FOUR
After what seemed like endless walking, the Senshi and that weird bellbottoms guy saw a door at the end of the hallway. As they drew closer, they could see many strange symbols embedded into the wood. Wood Chips shivered as he looked at the door.
Asparagus boldly reached out a "hand" and grasped the door handle, almost immediately drawing back with a gasp and clutching his "wrist."
"It's... it's like frozen death!"
Wood Chips approached the door himself, Hamster Glaive collecting from the surrounding darkness and solidifying in his hand. He stood in front of it, held out his glaive, and closed his eyes.
Almost immediately, the sharp, deadly hamster blade on the top of the long, ornate staff reacted, and there was a bright, blinding flash of violet, darker than Wood Chips's aura, and he, Spork, and that weird bellbottoms guy were swept up into impenetrable balls of violet; then, to the other Senshi's horror, they disappeared.
***
In the living room with worried sick Wolfwood and the others, only The Hobbit Baby Of Death seemed to be not frightened. In fact, it looked like she was pleased about the whole situation.
Everyone was so solemn and silent that, at first, they didn't notice The Hobbit Baby Of Death sitting on her knees and fold her hands into a prayer, eyes closing and an aqua violet light surround her. It was only until the light was a bright shining orb when they all noticed the small child, who was obviously controlling this extreme energy through a force of sheer will that
was far more developed than is normal for one of her age.
"The Hobbit Baby Of Death," Kronk reached out a hand to his little sister, and just before he got within a foot of her, The Hobbit Baby Of Death's ball of energy flashed, and she had disappeared.
Wolfwood got up once more and headed for the back, shaking like he had seen the devil.
"Now I REALLY need a smoke..."
***
Audrey and Katie coldly inspected the four orbs of light that entered their realm: the three violet of
Wood Chips, Spork, and that weird bellbottoms guy, and, to their surprise, The Hobbit Baby Of Death's aqua-violet.
"How intriguing," Audrey murmured. "I had no idea that child could utilize her sleeping power in such a form and way, and at such a young age..."
Katie leaned over and circled her arms around Audrey's shoulders, almost possessively.
"Still, she is just a small child. What harm could she do to us, and those other three...?"
She waved a hand nonchalantly at the Senshi and hippie. Audrey smiled. Already, her memory of them was growing faint, though he/she still questioned her emotion towards them, and her own powers...
Then he/she stood, and Katie pulled back, somewhat surprised.
"Well, let's see how much fun our new playmates are, shall we?"
Katie smiled evilly.
***
Wood Chips groaned. Her body hurt... a lot.
A few feet away, Spork also groaned, and she sat up, wincing at the painful shocks of protest running through her body.
"Whe... where are we?"
Before Wood Chips could answer, let alone grip her glaive even more tightly, a high, blood-chilling cackle ripped through the air, and a dark form appeared in the sky above then, clothed in a long dark-blue and white dress, her straight black hair long and snake-like, and she carried a deadly looking scythe, very similar to Wood Chips's...
"MISTRESS 4 1/2!!!" the two Senshi yelled out in horror and fear.
"Correct! And now, DIE!!" Mistress 4 1/2 screamed, lunging at them from them sky, her own version of Wood Chips's Silence Glaive pointed directly at a scared stiff Spork.
"WATCH OUT!" Wood Chips cried, and he threw himself at his sister, knocking Spork out of danger, but the sharp blade cut through Wood Chips's fuku and plunged into his back. A dark steam immediately rose up, and Wood Chips's body was wracked with pain, and the Hamster Glaive clattered to the ground.
Wood Chips fell, his crystal brooch cracking, and the hamster's body was covered in purple light. His fuku disappeared, replaced by his normal clothing. (read: none.)
Sailor Wood Chips was no more.
"No! You... " Spork growled, turning to face the demonic woman, tears blurring her vision. She raised her wand, and it twisted its shape and turned into a long, crystal clear Spork, the thin Spork glinting in the empty yet light darkness.
" 'You' what, dearie?" Mistress 4 1/2 smiled wickedly, touching the side of her red lips with a forefinger.
"I'LL KILL YOU!!" Spork screamed in agony over her brother/hamster's death, and, Spork raised high, she rushed at the demon, slashing and cutting, but never getting in a hit.
"Pitiful,"
With a sickening crack, Mistress 4 1/2 brought the Glaive crashing into the middle of Spork's back, and she fell, not moving and eyes wide open.
Just as the demon woman was about to finish the Senshi off, she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen, and heard the sickening sound of a Spork cutting through flesh. She looked down, and saw a BIG SPORK piercing her belly, straight through her back. Spork smiled feebly up at her.
"Whoops, sorry... guess the Spork slipped when I aimed for your heart. Oh, wait, I forgot... you don't have a heart."
Mistress 4 1/2 snarled, twisting her pain contorted face into an unrecognizable mask of fear and horror, and, with her dying breath, brought the blade of the Glaive crashing down at Spork, piercing her through the back, the point going straight through her crystal heart brooch and into empty darkness. The Glaive and Mistress 4 1/2 dissolved into nothingness, leaving the dying and dead girl and hamster.
Two pools of blood ran together, and Hammie the hamster and Emilee lived their last.
***
Katie watched this spectacle, feeling oddly affected by the deaths of these two warriors. But, she
shrugged, she didn't know them. They would have just hurt her if she hadn't have hurt them first.
"Tis no great loss," she murmured.
"They will all die by my hand..."
***
The Hobbit Baby Of Death felt her body beginning to grow warm as she prayed to the Hairy Toe Star, and her Guardian, Don't Panic.
She could feel now all of the hairy toes of the whole Earth flowing, growing, twisting with the pull of the Pot Star.
The Marijuana... the one whom her mission is to protect, but also the other drugs... even more greatly the other drugs...
Now she could feel the Weed within herself, its power flowing into her, like she was a great conductor of power, a silo for which housed an immense ocean of energy itself, and that was all contained in one, small Hobbit Baby of Death...
But, it was not enough, not enough to protect the the wonderful Marijuana, the hairy toes, and
the other precious drugs...
Still, she prayed...
***
That weird bellbottoms guy painfully opened his eyes, feeling a cold floor beneath him. He looked down and saw... nothing.
"Yaaaahh!!!"
He screamed and jumped up, immediately regretting it. First off, there appeared to be no floor, yet he was standing on something solid, and he felt like he had been hit by a semi truck to boot.
Where are you...
What are you doing...
Over here...
Come and play...
All at once, the four voices came, and it seemed to approach from different directions, and inside his mind. That weird bellbottoms guy stumbled backwards, turning and looking all around, but he couldn't see anything.
I'm over here...
No, over here...
Won't you play with me?
This way...
That weird bellbottoms guy...
"WHO ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?" That weird bellbottoms guy yelled.
A soft laugh rang out. It sounded feminine and amused and that weird bellbottoms guy's sudden panic and confusion.
"Where are you... What are you doing... Over here... Come and play... I'm over here... No, over here... Won't you play with me? This way... weird bellbottoms guy..."
That weird bellbottoms guy turned around, and from the darkness beyond, he saw the dark silhouette of a person walking slowly towards him. As they got closer, the darkness seemed to part like a smoky curtain, and that weird bellbottoms guy could see clearly the form of a woman wearing a long black dress.
"Weird bellbottoms guy... won't you play?" she asked.
The hippie's eyes widened in fear and shock when the woman stopped not ten feet away. Her build, her face, her eyes...
"K... Katie?!"
She smiled, then raised a hand and pointed at his chest. That weird bellbottoms guy felt like his entire body was frozen; he couldn't move, and he could barely breathe.
Still smiling, the now-adult Katie walked up to that weird bellbottoms guy, leaning her head on his chest and circling her arms around his waist.
At her touch, his body started to shake violently as painful electrical currents raged through him, and if Katie hadn't been holding him, that weird bellbottoms guy would have collapsed. She smirked up at him.
"What's the matter? Can't stand this pain? It's how I've felt when humanity touched my heart. And, now..."
That weird bellbottoms guy barely felt her shift her body against his, bringing one arm around and resting the fingertips against his stomach.
"You will die..."
At her words, that weird bellbottoms guy felt something slide painfully through his flesh. It was
Katie's nails; they had turned into claws and were now sticking out through his back.
Convulsively, he clutched her against him, surprising the woman, who retracted the blades from his body. He looked down at her suddenly frightened face, smiling softly. She felt a wave of pain and sadness wash through her.
"What... what are you doing to me?!" she cried, voice rising in pitch and fear as her body was seized by sudden emotion.
That weird bellbottoms guy's eyes began to mist over as he looked at her. "I just wanted you to know," he whispered, leaning down close to her.
"... that I love you, Katie Weiner-Dent."
He slumped against her, hardly breathing and barely conscious. Katie fell to her knees, still holding onto him tightly, as if she were afraid to let go, but afraid to hold on.
Audrey appeared behind them, looking upset. "What are you doing? Why didn't you kill him? Don't tell me..."
Katie looked fearfully back at Audrey.
"... that you're growing sentimental. Don't worry," He/she held out a hand, and a twisted blade of black appeared.
"I'll take care of you both,"
***
Already, The Hobbit Baby Of Death felt the deaths of two of the Stars, and another was drawing closer. She started to cry.
"Please, God of Don't Panic, grant me your power so that I may protect these Stars. Lend me the Sleeping Powers of Wood Chips and the Spork. Awaken the Sleeping Powers within myself, and them, so that this universe, this life, may be protected from evil,
"Please, I beg of you! Grant us your power, and awaken our own!"
***
Hammie and Emilee's bodies lay in the darkness, seeping dark red blood. Their wands between
them, dull and lifeless, their power eliminated and gone.
From the sky of the evil realm, two dots of light appeared: a bright purple, and a crystalline white.
They shone for an instant, then shot towards the two dead Senshi, striking their foreheads.
Almost instantly, the sign of Wood Chips and Spork glowed brightly, burning the darkness. The wands began to shine dully, then brighter and brighter, until they were like beacons in the night.
The two, and the wands, were lifted into the air, and they disappeared.
***
"DIE!!"
That weird bellbottoms guy and Katie watched as Audrey lunged at them, sword raised.
Crying, Katie turned her face away and held that weird bellbottoms guy tightly as the sword slid through her body with little difficulty. That weird bellbottoms guy could feel the point of the sword exit through her front and press into his stomach.
Audrey smirked, then jerked the sword out of his/her follower's shuddering body. "Pathetic..."
Katie looked up at that weird bellbottoms guy, tears tracking down her face. "I'm sorry..." she whispered, brushing her lips against his before she fell, dead, into his arms.
"KatieO? Hey, Katie, wake up, this isn't funny. Stop it, you're scaring me! Wake up!" That weird
bellbottoms guy shook her, but Katie didn't move. "Katie," he moaned, holding her tightly.
Audrey watched, looking very nonchalant as he/she inspected his/her blade.
"You..."
"Hm?" Audrey looked up, gazing at the hippie. "What is it... brother?"
That weird bellbottoms guy gently laid Katie's body onto the cold ground, then stood and faced Audrey.
"How could you?"
Audrey smirked.
"Very easily." (BAD comeback)
Yelling with rage, that weird bellbottoms guy lunged at his brother/sister. Audrey dodged out of the way, but was caught off guard when that weird bellbottoms guy turned quickly and lashed a kick at him/her. Audrey barely had time to bring up his/her sword and block the kick with the broad side of the sword.
"You see, brother, that pitiful human right over there wasn't even the slightest bit of importance to me. I was only using her to get to you. And, as you can see, it worked quite well. Now that I have you where I want you, she was of no further use, so I eliminated her," Audrey said, dodging all of that weird bellbottoms guy's attacks.
"That's called murder! She's dead, and you killed her! YOU MURDERED HER!" That weird bellbottoms guy screamed.
Audrey sighed, then kicked that weird bellbottoms guy in the stomach, throwing him to the ground. "That weird bellbottoms guy, that weird bellbottoms guy, that weird bellbottoms guy... you have to learn something. We are superior to humans, and we have a right to use them as our tools and throw them away when we are done,"
"YOU'RE WRONG! They're living, breathing people, like us! We are not above them, and it isn't anyone's place to take another's right to live! I will not stand for you or anyone else to kill the ones I love, or anyone else for that matter!"
"Pathetic, trifling human emotions. Really, weird bellbottoms guy, you've been living too weak for too long. It's time I showed you the way of things, how
their supposed to be."
He raised a hand, and a portal opened in empty space. Inside, that weird bellbottoms guy could see the Outer Senshi, still trying to desperately get inside the door. Horrified, that weird bellbottoms guy could only watch as their bodies were suddenly wrapped in dark violet, and, one by one, they fell to the ground, twitching and convulsing. "No," that weird bellbottoms guy whispered, then he slowly pulled himself to his knees, kneeling before his brother/sister. Audrey released the Senshi, looking remotely interested.
"No, please, don't kill them."
For an instant, Audrey looked like he/she was going to give in, but it was in that one instant that there were three flashes of light: bright purple, white, and aqua.
The two watched in amazement as first Hammie the hamster appeared, then Emilee, and finally the Hobbit Baby Of Death, still praying. Hammie and Emilee, wrapped in orbs of their aura, were gently placed on either side of the Hobbit Baby Of Death, their wands floating down to rest between their folded hands on their chests.
The Hobbit Baby Of Death opened her eyes and stood, now dressed in the princess gown of Don't Panic. She looked first at that weird bellbottoms guy and Audrey, then over at Katie, whose dark blood was soaking into the dark gown and pooling onto the floor.
Slowly, with purpose, she walked between the frozen siblings, who watched her every step with wide eyes.
She has more power than I imagined! It's like she is a god! Audrey thought, in complete awe of the energy that radiated from the small child.
The Hobbit Baby Of Death kneeled beside her sister, raising the woman's hand and gently kissing the back of it. "Please, Guardian God of the Heavenly Star Fondue and of Spork, I beg of you to lend me my sister's Sleeping Power, so that I may help to protect the Stars,"
There was a bright flash of silver and green, and Audrey and that weird bellbottoms guy shielded their eyes. When they looked next, Katie's wand had appeared, and it began to glow brightly, as did the silver and green Fondue and Don't Panic symbols on her forehead.
The Hobbit Baby Of Death stood up, gently laying Katie's hand onto her still chest. She turned and faced Audrey, who sneered and leveled the sword at her. "You dare think you can enter my realm and defeat me? Ha! Such ideals you humans have!"
Then, in a voice not her own, the Hobbit Baby Of Death answered, "You have too much ambition, Transsexual Audrey. You're delusional to think that you can destroy all of humanity through your chaos. You forgot, there is something that can never, ever be destroyed; human emotion. Only by achieving and understanding human emotion you can have true power, and this is something few have accomplished since the beginning of time. Only a select few, the Warriors of the Universe, the Soldiers of Emotion and Purity, have achieved this power, and you have snuffed out the lives of three of the most noble of these Fighters. For that, you can never be forgiven, but if you kill me or anymore of these Soldiers, the consequences you will pay will be catastrophic."
Audrey spat. "How can you, a child, be threatening me? The consequences you will pay for interfering with me will be catastrophic."
He leaped at The Hobbit Baby Of Death, screaming at the top of his/her voice, "Now I shall kill you, and then the rest of your precious Stars!"
The Hobbit Baby Of Death's eyes flashed, and Audrey was frozen in mid-air, the edge of the sword not an inch away from her head. Sighing, she looked sadly up at Audrey's frightened and angry face. "You still do not see. You are like a child with a gun, pleased that you have such a fun new toy to play with, but completely unaware of the deadly danger that awaits you. You still don't understand that the emotions of the human heart is the greatest power in this universe. Can't you see that chaos and murder will just lead to more chaos and to bloodshed?"
That weird bellbottoms guy watched all of this, completely silent and in awe. He was now cradling
Katie's limp body in his arms, and tears were starting to form in his eyes as he watched the battle between his dead love's sister and his own brother/sister wage.
He held Katie even more tightly, and a single tear fell to the darkness below.
***
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
"Everyone!"
Asparagus, Don't Panic, and Marvin looked up and around. Where was that voice coming from?
In the living room back at the Weiner-Dent mansion, all of the natives and Wolfwood looked around, startled. Who was that?
In America, the Inner Senshi, Derek Zoolander, Yukon Cornelius, Johnny Bravo, and Chris looked around as well. What was this voice?
"Please, please help me! Give me your strength, and help to fight this chaotic evil and save the Stars!"
The Outer and Inner Senshi's tiara's disappeared, replaced by their planetary symbols, and Zoolander, Cornelius, Johnny, and Chris began to glow with light. Even Kronk started to glow faintly.
"Please, to protect this life and these Stars, unleash your Sleeping Powers!"
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove
The Senshi, Hammie, Emilee, Katie, Cornelius, Johnny Bravo, Chris, Zoolander, and Kronk all flashed briefly, then several different beams of coloured light shot away from them and disappeared into the air.
***
"You will never defeat me!" Audrey snarled, struggling against the hold the Hobbit Baby Of Death's power had locked him/her in.
Before either could do anything, several beams of light dropped from the sky and shot into The Hobbit Baby Of Death, and Audrey's entire body locked up, frozen in place with a surplus of energy.
"As you can see," The Hobbit Baby Of Death said calmly, "This is what happens when the Pure Hearts and the Sleeping Powers of humans join together and work as one for a cause other than their own. It is the Passage of the Stars, and with this Passage comes a new age, one where human emotion is at the peak of its power, overtaking all in it's path that sets out to oppose it,"
The Hobbit Baby Of Death's eyes widened, and Audrey's blade shattered, the dark fragments flying outward and disappeared.
"This... this can't be... how?" Audrey gasped, looking at the child with fear.
"It's human emotion,"
She raised a hand, and Audrey's entire body became rigid as something grabbed ahold of him/her. He/she was able to scream once before collapsing and falling limp to the floor, not moving and not breathing.
That weird bellbottoms guy watched silently, feeling empty inside. His love was dead, and now his brother/sister. All he wanted to do now was curl up and cry, and just let darkness take him.
The Hobbit Baby Of Death, sensing his distress, turned and kneeled down in front of him and her sister's body. She cocked her head, looking at him curiously.
"You... you are not like your brother, are you? You understand the power of true emotion, and you live your life with it. What you are feeling... it is just as powerful as any toxin in the world. Sadness will kill a man, as will love,"
That weird bellbottoms guy hung his head, crying. "I don't care anymore! I just want to die, I have nothing to live for anymore,"
The Hobbit Baby Of Death calmly reached out a hand and traced a finger down one of the paths that his tears were making. "Are you sure?" she asked, then gently touched Katie's forehead, on the shining symbols.
"You are her prince, now awaken your Sleeping Beauty with your kiss,"
Feeling like he had nothing left to lose, that weird bellbottoms guy leaned down and gently kissed Katie, and was shocked to find her mouth was warm. He pulled back when she suddenly shifted her weight, as if waking up from sleep.
Katie opened her eyes, then smiled up at that weird bellbottoms guy. "I was asleep," she murmured softly.
That weird bellbottoms guy burst into tears and hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go in case she disappeared. Katie reached up and hugged him back, neither of them noticing that the Hobbit Baby Of Death, Audrey, Hammie, and Emilee had disappeared, as did the dark realm that they were in.
"I love you, weird bellbottoms guy,"
***
"Emilee..."
"Hammie..."
"Audrey..."
"It's time to wake up..."
One by one, the two Senshi and Audrey slowly opened their eyes and sat up. They looked around; they were in a place completely white, and the darkness had disappeared. It was like they were in Heaven.
An figure bathed in light appeared before them, and it glided over to Audrey. She reached out her hand and gently placed it over his/her forehead.
"Don't be afraid..."
"I'm not afraid..." he/she protested, shaking with fear. What were these feelings inside him/her?
"I'm going to give you a gift... Hold still, please..."
The aqua woman placed her hands gently under Audrey's chin and pulled his/her face close to hers, and she kissed him/her.
Audrey's mind was filled with a bright whiteness, and the world faded around them.
***
Sailor Don't Panic smiled as "she" watched these events in the bright aqua face of "her" Sandwich Blade. Suddenly, the glass that the knife was composed up at this time shone brightly, then seemed to solidify into a deep aqua, then to a dull silver of glass, palely reflecting "her" face.
"She" smiled again, then closed "her" eyes and kissed the fading image of "her" daughter and the hippie.
**********
If you think THAT made no sense, you should have seen the original.
Just kidding, Tabi-chan, I LOVE YOO!
Hey hey hey, chicken livers, oh baby baby yeaaaaaahhh…
If you actually read that, um, it's explained by the fact that no one in their right mind would ever want to finish this story… so I'm just rambling.
**********
Part FOUR
After what seemed like endless walking, the Senshi and that weird bellbottoms guy saw a door at the end of the hallway. As they drew closer, they could see many strange symbols embedded into the wood. Wood Chips shivered as he looked at the door.
Asparagus boldly reached out a "hand" and grasped the door handle, almost immediately drawing back with a gasp and clutching his "wrist."
"It's... it's like frozen death!"
Wood Chips approached the door himself, Hamster Glaive collecting from the surrounding darkness and solidifying in his hand. He stood in front of it, held out his glaive, and closed his eyes.
Almost immediately, the sharp, deadly hamster blade on the top of the long, ornate staff reacted, and there was a bright, blinding flash of violet, darker than Wood Chips's aura, and he, Spork, and that weird bellbottoms guy were swept up into impenetrable balls of violet; then, to the other Senshi's horror, they disappeared.
***
In the living room with worried sick Wolfwood and the others, only The Hobbit Baby Of Death seemed to be not frightened. In fact, it looked like she was pleased about the whole situation.
Everyone was so solemn and silent that, at first, they didn't notice The Hobbit Baby Of Death sitting on her knees and fold her hands into a prayer, eyes closing and an aqua violet light surround her. It was only until the light was a bright shining orb when they all noticed the small child, who was obviously controlling this extreme energy through a force of sheer will that
was far more developed than is normal for one of her age.
"The Hobbit Baby Of Death," Kronk reached out a hand to his little sister, and just before he got within a foot of her, The Hobbit Baby Of Death's ball of energy flashed, and she had disappeared.
Wolfwood got up once more and headed for the back, shaking like he had seen the devil.
"Now I REALLY need a smoke..."
***
Audrey and Katie coldly inspected the four orbs of light that entered their realm: the three violet of
Wood Chips, Spork, and that weird bellbottoms guy, and, to their surprise, The Hobbit Baby Of Death's aqua-violet.
"How intriguing," Audrey murmured. "I had no idea that child could utilize her sleeping power in such a form and way, and at such a young age..."
Katie leaned over and circled her arms around Audrey's shoulders, almost possessively.
"Still, she is just a small child. What harm could she do to us, and those other three...?"
She waved a hand nonchalantly at the Senshi and hippie. Audrey smiled. Already, her memory of them was growing faint, though he/she still questioned her emotion towards them, and her own powers...
Then he/she stood, and Katie pulled back, somewhat surprised.
"Well, let's see how much fun our new playmates are, shall we?"
Katie smiled evilly.
***
Wood Chips groaned. Her body hurt... a lot.
A few feet away, Spork also groaned, and she sat up, wincing at the painful shocks of protest running through her body.
"Whe... where are we?"
Before Wood Chips could answer, let alone grip her glaive even more tightly, a high, blood-chilling cackle ripped through the air, and a dark form appeared in the sky above then, clothed in a long dark-blue and white dress, her straight black hair long and snake-like, and she carried a deadly looking scythe, very similar to Wood Chips's...
"MISTRESS 4 1/2!!!" the two Senshi yelled out in horror and fear.
"Correct! And now, DIE!!" Mistress 4 1/2 screamed, lunging at them from them sky, her own version of Wood Chips's Silence Glaive pointed directly at a scared stiff Spork.
"WATCH OUT!" Wood Chips cried, and he threw himself at his sister, knocking Spork out of danger, but the sharp blade cut through Wood Chips's fuku and plunged into his back. A dark steam immediately rose up, and Wood Chips's body was wracked with pain, and the Hamster Glaive clattered to the ground.
Wood Chips fell, his crystal brooch cracking, and the hamster's body was covered in purple light. His fuku disappeared, replaced by his normal clothing. (read: none.)
Sailor Wood Chips was no more.
"No! You... " Spork growled, turning to face the demonic woman, tears blurring her vision. She raised her wand, and it twisted its shape and turned into a long, crystal clear Spork, the thin Spork glinting in the empty yet light darkness.
" 'You' what, dearie?" Mistress 4 1/2 smiled wickedly, touching the side of her red lips with a forefinger.
"I'LL KILL YOU!!" Spork screamed in agony over her brother/hamster's death, and, Spork raised high, she rushed at the demon, slashing and cutting, but never getting in a hit.
"Pitiful,"
With a sickening crack, Mistress 4 1/2 brought the Glaive crashing into the middle of Spork's back, and she fell, not moving and eyes wide open.
Just as the demon woman was about to finish the Senshi off, she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen, and heard the sickening sound of a Spork cutting through flesh. She looked down, and saw a BIG SPORK piercing her belly, straight through her back. Spork smiled feebly up at her.
"Whoops, sorry... guess the Spork slipped when I aimed for your heart. Oh, wait, I forgot... you don't have a heart."
Mistress 4 1/2 snarled, twisting her pain contorted face into an unrecognizable mask of fear and horror, and, with her dying breath, brought the blade of the Glaive crashing down at Spork, piercing her through the back, the point going straight through her crystal heart brooch and into empty darkness. The Glaive and Mistress 4 1/2 dissolved into nothingness, leaving the dying and dead girl and hamster.
Two pools of blood ran together, and Hammie the hamster and Emilee lived their last.
***
Katie watched this spectacle, feeling oddly affected by the deaths of these two warriors. But, she
shrugged, she didn't know them. They would have just hurt her if she hadn't have hurt them first.
"Tis no great loss," she murmured.
"They will all die by my hand..."
***
The Hobbit Baby Of Death felt her body beginning to grow warm as she prayed to the Hairy Toe Star, and her Guardian, Don't Panic.
She could feel now all of the hairy toes of the whole Earth flowing, growing, twisting with the pull of the Pot Star.
The Marijuana... the one whom her mission is to protect, but also the other drugs... even more greatly the other drugs...
Now she could feel the Weed within herself, its power flowing into her, like she was a great conductor of power, a silo for which housed an immense ocean of energy itself, and that was all contained in one, small Hobbit Baby of Death...
But, it was not enough, not enough to protect the the wonderful Marijuana, the hairy toes, and
the other precious drugs...
Still, she prayed...
***
That weird bellbottoms guy painfully opened his eyes, feeling a cold floor beneath him. He looked down and saw... nothing.
"Yaaaahh!!!"
He screamed and jumped up, immediately regretting it. First off, there appeared to be no floor, yet he was standing on something solid, and he felt like he had been hit by a semi truck to boot.
Where are you...
What are you doing...
Over here...
Come and play...
All at once, the four voices came, and it seemed to approach from different directions, and inside his mind. That weird bellbottoms guy stumbled backwards, turning and looking all around, but he couldn't see anything.
I'm over here...
No, over here...
Won't you play with me?
This way...
That weird bellbottoms guy...
"WHO ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?" That weird bellbottoms guy yelled.
A soft laugh rang out. It sounded feminine and amused and that weird bellbottoms guy's sudden panic and confusion.
"Where are you... What are you doing... Over here... Come and play... I'm over here... No, over here... Won't you play with me? This way... weird bellbottoms guy..."
That weird bellbottoms guy turned around, and from the darkness beyond, he saw the dark silhouette of a person walking slowly towards him. As they got closer, the darkness seemed to part like a smoky curtain, and that weird bellbottoms guy could see clearly the form of a woman wearing a long black dress.
"Weird bellbottoms guy... won't you play?" she asked.
The hippie's eyes widened in fear and shock when the woman stopped not ten feet away. Her build, her face, her eyes...
"K... Katie?!"
She smiled, then raised a hand and pointed at his chest. That weird bellbottoms guy felt like his entire body was frozen; he couldn't move, and he could barely breathe.
Still smiling, the now-adult Katie walked up to that weird bellbottoms guy, leaning her head on his chest and circling her arms around his waist.
At her touch, his body started to shake violently as painful electrical currents raged through him, and if Katie hadn't been holding him, that weird bellbottoms guy would have collapsed. She smirked up at him.
"What's the matter? Can't stand this pain? It's how I've felt when humanity touched my heart. And, now..."
That weird bellbottoms guy barely felt her shift her body against his, bringing one arm around and resting the fingertips against his stomach.
"You will die..."
At her words, that weird bellbottoms guy felt something slide painfully through his flesh. It was
Katie's nails; they had turned into claws and were now sticking out through his back.
Convulsively, he clutched her against him, surprising the woman, who retracted the blades from his body. He looked down at her suddenly frightened face, smiling softly. She felt a wave of pain and sadness wash through her.
"What... what are you doing to me?!" she cried, voice rising in pitch and fear as her body was seized by sudden emotion.
That weird bellbottoms guy's eyes began to mist over as he looked at her. "I just wanted you to know," he whispered, leaning down close to her.
"... that I love you, Katie Weiner-Dent."
He slumped against her, hardly breathing and barely conscious. Katie fell to her knees, still holding onto him tightly, as if she were afraid to let go, but afraid to hold on.
Audrey appeared behind them, looking upset. "What are you doing? Why didn't you kill him? Don't tell me..."
Katie looked fearfully back at Audrey.
"... that you're growing sentimental. Don't worry," He/she held out a hand, and a twisted blade of black appeared.
"I'll take care of you both,"
***
Already, The Hobbit Baby Of Death felt the deaths of two of the Stars, and another was drawing closer. She started to cry.
"Please, God of Don't Panic, grant me your power so that I may protect these Stars. Lend me the Sleeping Powers of Wood Chips and the Spork. Awaken the Sleeping Powers within myself, and them, so that this universe, this life, may be protected from evil,
"Please, I beg of you! Grant us your power, and awaken our own!"
***
Hammie and Emilee's bodies lay in the darkness, seeping dark red blood. Their wands between
them, dull and lifeless, their power eliminated and gone.
From the sky of the evil realm, two dots of light appeared: a bright purple, and a crystalline white.
They shone for an instant, then shot towards the two dead Senshi, striking their foreheads.
Almost instantly, the sign of Wood Chips and Spork glowed brightly, burning the darkness. The wands began to shine dully, then brighter and brighter, until they were like beacons in the night.
The two, and the wands, were lifted into the air, and they disappeared.
***
"DIE!!"
That weird bellbottoms guy and Katie watched as Audrey lunged at them, sword raised.
Crying, Katie turned her face away and held that weird bellbottoms guy tightly as the sword slid through her body with little difficulty. That weird bellbottoms guy could feel the point of the sword exit through her front and press into his stomach.
Audrey smirked, then jerked the sword out of his/her follower's shuddering body. "Pathetic..."
Katie looked up at that weird bellbottoms guy, tears tracking down her face. "I'm sorry..." she whispered, brushing her lips against his before she fell, dead, into his arms.
"KatieO? Hey, Katie, wake up, this isn't funny. Stop it, you're scaring me! Wake up!" That weird
bellbottoms guy shook her, but Katie didn't move. "Katie," he moaned, holding her tightly.
Audrey watched, looking very nonchalant as he/she inspected his/her blade.
"You..."
"Hm?" Audrey looked up, gazing at the hippie. "What is it... brother?"
That weird bellbottoms guy gently laid Katie's body onto the cold ground, then stood and faced Audrey.
"How could you?"
Audrey smirked.
"Very easily." (BAD comeback)
Yelling with rage, that weird bellbottoms guy lunged at his brother/sister. Audrey dodged out of the way, but was caught off guard when that weird bellbottoms guy turned quickly and lashed a kick at him/her. Audrey barely had time to bring up his/her sword and block the kick with the broad side of the sword.
"You see, brother, that pitiful human right over there wasn't even the slightest bit of importance to me. I was only using her to get to you. And, as you can see, it worked quite well. Now that I have you where I want you, she was of no further use, so I eliminated her," Audrey said, dodging all of that weird bellbottoms guy's attacks.
"That's called murder! She's dead, and you killed her! YOU MURDERED HER!" That weird bellbottoms guy screamed.
Audrey sighed, then kicked that weird bellbottoms guy in the stomach, throwing him to the ground. "That weird bellbottoms guy, that weird bellbottoms guy, that weird bellbottoms guy... you have to learn something. We are superior to humans, and we have a right to use them as our tools and throw them away when we are done,"
"YOU'RE WRONG! They're living, breathing people, like us! We are not above them, and it isn't anyone's place to take another's right to live! I will not stand for you or anyone else to kill the ones I love, or anyone else for that matter!"
"Pathetic, trifling human emotions. Really, weird bellbottoms guy, you've been living too weak for too long. It's time I showed you the way of things, how
their supposed to be."
He raised a hand, and a portal opened in empty space. Inside, that weird bellbottoms guy could see the Outer Senshi, still trying to desperately get inside the door. Horrified, that weird bellbottoms guy could only watch as their bodies were suddenly wrapped in dark violet, and, one by one, they fell to the ground, twitching and convulsing. "No," that weird bellbottoms guy whispered, then he slowly pulled himself to his knees, kneeling before his brother/sister. Audrey released the Senshi, looking remotely interested.
"No, please, don't kill them."
For an instant, Audrey looked like he/she was going to give in, but it was in that one instant that there were three flashes of light: bright purple, white, and aqua.
The two watched in amazement as first Hammie the hamster appeared, then Emilee, and finally the Hobbit Baby Of Death, still praying. Hammie and Emilee, wrapped in orbs of their aura, were gently placed on either side of the Hobbit Baby Of Death, their wands floating down to rest between their folded hands on their chests.
The Hobbit Baby Of Death opened her eyes and stood, now dressed in the princess gown of Don't Panic. She looked first at that weird bellbottoms guy and Audrey, then over at Katie, whose dark blood was soaking into the dark gown and pooling onto the floor.
Slowly, with purpose, she walked between the frozen siblings, who watched her every step with wide eyes.
She has more power than I imagined! It's like she is a god! Audrey thought, in complete awe of the energy that radiated from the small child.
The Hobbit Baby Of Death kneeled beside her sister, raising the woman's hand and gently kissing the back of it. "Please, Guardian God of the Heavenly Star Fondue and of Spork, I beg of you to lend me my sister's Sleeping Power, so that I may help to protect the Stars,"
There was a bright flash of silver and green, and Audrey and that weird bellbottoms guy shielded their eyes. When they looked next, Katie's wand had appeared, and it began to glow brightly, as did the silver and green Fondue and Don't Panic symbols on her forehead.
The Hobbit Baby Of Death stood up, gently laying Katie's hand onto her still chest. She turned and faced Audrey, who sneered and leveled the sword at her. "You dare think you can enter my realm and defeat me? Ha! Such ideals you humans have!"
Then, in a voice not her own, the Hobbit Baby Of Death answered, "You have too much ambition, Transsexual Audrey. You're delusional to think that you can destroy all of humanity through your chaos. You forgot, there is something that can never, ever be destroyed; human emotion. Only by achieving and understanding human emotion you can have true power, and this is something few have accomplished since the beginning of time. Only a select few, the Warriors of the Universe, the Soldiers of Emotion and Purity, have achieved this power, and you have snuffed out the lives of three of the most noble of these Fighters. For that, you can never be forgiven, but if you kill me or anymore of these Soldiers, the consequences you will pay will be catastrophic."
Audrey spat. "How can you, a child, be threatening me? The consequences you will pay for interfering with me will be catastrophic."
He leaped at The Hobbit Baby Of Death, screaming at the top of his/her voice, "Now I shall kill you, and then the rest of your precious Stars!"
The Hobbit Baby Of Death's eyes flashed, and Audrey was frozen in mid-air, the edge of the sword not an inch away from her head. Sighing, she looked sadly up at Audrey's frightened and angry face. "You still do not see. You are like a child with a gun, pleased that you have such a fun new toy to play with, but completely unaware of the deadly danger that awaits you. You still don't understand that the emotions of the human heart is the greatest power in this universe. Can't you see that chaos and murder will just lead to more chaos and to bloodshed?"
That weird bellbottoms guy watched all of this, completely silent and in awe. He was now cradling
Katie's limp body in his arms, and tears were starting to form in his eyes as he watched the battle between his dead love's sister and his own brother/sister wage.
He held Katie even more tightly, and a single tear fell to the darkness below.
***
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
"Everyone!"
Asparagus, Don't Panic, and Marvin looked up and around. Where was that voice coming from?
In the living room back at the Weiner-Dent mansion, all of the natives and Wolfwood looked around, startled. Who was that?
In America, the Inner Senshi, Derek Zoolander, Yukon Cornelius, Johnny Bravo, and Chris looked around as well. What was this voice?
"Please, please help me! Give me your strength, and help to fight this chaotic evil and save the Stars!"
The Outer and Inner Senshi's tiara's disappeared, replaced by their planetary symbols, and Zoolander, Cornelius, Johnny, and Chris began to glow with light. Even Kronk started to glow faintly.
"Please, to protect this life and these Stars, unleash your Sleeping Powers!"
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooove
Puberty love, puberty love
It's so sweet, it's so fine
There ain't nothing like puberty looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove
The Senshi, Hammie, Emilee, Katie, Cornelius, Johnny Bravo, Chris, Zoolander, and Kronk all flashed briefly, then several different beams of coloured light shot away from them and disappeared into the air.
***
"You will never defeat me!" Audrey snarled, struggling against the hold the Hobbit Baby Of Death's power had locked him/her in.
Before either could do anything, several beams of light dropped from the sky and shot into The Hobbit Baby Of Death, and Audrey's entire body locked up, frozen in place with a surplus of energy.
"As you can see," The Hobbit Baby Of Death said calmly, "This is what happens when the Pure Hearts and the Sleeping Powers of humans join together and work as one for a cause other than their own. It is the Passage of the Stars, and with this Passage comes a new age, one where human emotion is at the peak of its power, overtaking all in it's path that sets out to oppose it,"
The Hobbit Baby Of Death's eyes widened, and Audrey's blade shattered, the dark fragments flying outward and disappeared.
"This... this can't be... how?" Audrey gasped, looking at the child with fear.
"It's human emotion,"
She raised a hand, and Audrey's entire body became rigid as something grabbed ahold of him/her. He/she was able to scream once before collapsing and falling limp to the floor, not moving and not breathing.
That weird bellbottoms guy watched silently, feeling empty inside. His love was dead, and now his brother/sister. All he wanted to do now was curl up and cry, and just let darkness take him.
The Hobbit Baby Of Death, sensing his distress, turned and kneeled down in front of him and her sister's body. She cocked her head, looking at him curiously.
"You... you are not like your brother, are you? You understand the power of true emotion, and you live your life with it. What you are feeling... it is just as powerful as any toxin in the world. Sadness will kill a man, as will love,"
That weird bellbottoms guy hung his head, crying. "I don't care anymore! I just want to die, I have nothing to live for anymore,"
The Hobbit Baby Of Death calmly reached out a hand and traced a finger down one of the paths that his tears were making. "Are you sure?" she asked, then gently touched Katie's forehead, on the shining symbols.
"You are her prince, now awaken your Sleeping Beauty with your kiss,"
Feeling like he had nothing left to lose, that weird bellbottoms guy leaned down and gently kissed Katie, and was shocked to find her mouth was warm. He pulled back when she suddenly shifted her weight, as if waking up from sleep.
Katie opened her eyes, then smiled up at that weird bellbottoms guy. "I was asleep," she murmured softly.
That weird bellbottoms guy burst into tears and hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go in case she disappeared. Katie reached up and hugged him back, neither of them noticing that the Hobbit Baby Of Death, Audrey, Hammie, and Emilee had disappeared, as did the dark realm that they were in.
"I love you, weird bellbottoms guy,"
***
"Emilee..."
"Hammie..."
"Audrey..."
"It's time to wake up..."
One by one, the two Senshi and Audrey slowly opened their eyes and sat up. They looked around; they were in a place completely white, and the darkness had disappeared. It was like they were in Heaven.
An figure bathed in light appeared before them, and it glided over to Audrey. She reached out her hand and gently placed it over his/her forehead.
"Don't be afraid..."
"I'm not afraid..." he/she protested, shaking with fear. What were these feelings inside him/her?
"I'm going to give you a gift... Hold still, please..."
The aqua woman placed her hands gently under Audrey's chin and pulled his/her face close to hers, and she kissed him/her.
Audrey's mind was filled with a bright whiteness, and the world faded around them.
***
Sailor Don't Panic smiled as "she" watched these events in the bright aqua face of "her" Sandwich Blade. Suddenly, the glass that the knife was composed up at this time shone brightly, then seemed to solidify into a deep aqua, then to a dull silver of glass, palely reflecting "her" face.
"She" smiled again, then closed "her" eyes and kissed the fading image of "her" daughter and the hippie.
**********
If you think THAT made no sense, you should have seen the original.
Just kidding, Tabi-chan, I LOVE YOO!