My name is x-5494. I am genetically engineered soldier. I was designed to be perfect. Nothing is more important than the mission. Relationships and feelings are sentimental weaknesses. I have been bread to be better than humans. I am superior to them in every way. My only loyalty is to Manticore. My life is theirs.
"X-5494, you will spend six months in psy-ops for a complete psychological evaluation. Your twin X-5493 has committed a series of murders and we have to make sure you won't do the same."
"Yes sir."
Red lasers pierced into his unfeeling blue eyes. But his mind screamed for relief, for comfort.
He couldn't see straight, he couldn't think straight. His tired body begged for rest, sleep. But they forced him to continue. He hadn't slept for five days but they threw person after person at him to see if he'd snap.
Days after he first got thrown into solitary, he was still there. He hadn't seen or heard another living being since then. He couldn't remember the last time they had fed him or provided him with water. The light in his cell was dim. The floor was damp. And his "bed" was nothing more than a sheet of wood. He stared at the door with empty eyes.
"Ben?"
"What?"
"You look like someone I used to know."
"Well, my designation's 494."
"His was 493. You must be twinned."
"493...Your fellow traitor. Went psycho."
"What do you know about it?"
"I know that because of him I had to spend six months in psy-ops. They wanted to make sure it wasn't genetic. Looks like ten years in the world finally got to him."
"It was this place that got to him."
"You think Manticore takes care of you out of the goodness of its heart? It's using you."
"Nobody's using me."
"That's what you don't get. You're working for the bad guys."
"My name's Max."
"Whatever you say."
"You should have a name too."
"I told you, my designation's 494."
"Doesn't suit you. I'm gonna call you Alec."
"Alec?"
"As in smart aleck."
"I can live with that."
"Good. 'Cause my second choice was Dick."
"Wait. Killing me isn't gonna solve your problem."
"You're right. I have to take out all of them."
"You gotta find 'em first. I can help."
"Is that a fact?"
"Who better to hunt transgenics than another transgenic?"
"You expect me to believe that you would turn against your own kind?"
"Try me."
"So I got two. I just need more time to get the third."
"We had an agreement."
"Just a few hours."
"That's not what I'm talking about. I told you to kill them."
"Yeah."
"Someone left him outside an emergency room with a bandage on the back of his neck."
"He was just a kid."
"You disappoint me. Now apparently you had no trouble with whatever this was! But him...one of your own...you couldn't do it. So now you're a dead man."
"I can do it. Give me another chance."
"Because he's a cold-blooded, opportunistic showoff who thought he could run his game on a major bad guy who, it turns out, is an even bigger scumbag than he is! That about cover it?
"Yeah, that's pretty much how it happened."
"Oh, before I forget, thanks so much for not killing me."
"I owe you, Max. I know I screwed things--"
"Shut up! And listen, 'cause I'm only saying this once. That guy was the last chance for me and Logan. He's gone, and it's your fault. Don't think I'm ever getting over that.
"I know."
"Just...do me a favor, all right? Go away. I can't even look at you right now.
"I'm sorry, Max...for everything."
"You are not going to bang her!"
"And why not? I thought you'd be proud, she's a step up from a hooker. Besides, they're only norms. Dirty, stupid, norms."
"They're not the ones who are the freaks here, Alec, it's us. We were the ones created in a lab, not them. You may think that we're superior to them, but in every way that matters, we're inferior. We can't have the feelings they do, we can try, but they don't come natural to us. We have our Manticore training that makes everything easy for us, but they have to struggle to survive."
"Okay, Max, what's your point?"
"You can't treat them like they're worthless. So you're the pretty boy who grew up in the clean, sterile environment. Give them a chance. Spend some of your self-centered energy and get to know them."
"Alec, what's your deal? You haven't said more than three self-centered words to me this morning."
"It's personal."
"Well, care to tell me about it?"
"Knowing you, you'd probably laugh at me."
"Then you definitely have to tell me. Fine, I won't laugh."
"I spent a lot of time with Satrina this last week, and I think I'm starting to have feelings for her. There, are you happy? This self-centered, norm hating soldier is having feelings for a human."
"That's impossible! You're shallow and-"
"Isn't it possible for people to change?"
"What am I to you? You're this perfect soldier, am I a dirty human to you? Someone to sleep with? A good fuck? You must think I'm an idiot. A stupid human to play with. Go away. You may be perfect with no emotions, but I'm not. I'm just an emotional human."
"No, Satrina. None of that is true."
"Leave me alone! I'm sick of being used."
"Satrina, please listen to me. I didn't use you. At first I did think all norms were dirty. I thought they were only good for sleeping with. But then I met you. I was arrogant and thought I could bang you like any other norm. But you proved everything I thought wrong. You are unbelievable. With ever encounter, you made me see norms for what you really are. You are not dirty, and you're not stupid."
"Satrina, I was scared this morning. I've never had feelings for anyone like the ones I have for you. You changed me; made me so much better than I was. You made me care. You gave me depth."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Alec, don't finish that. You're a genetically engineered soldier. I can pretty much guess what you did."
"Are you okay with that?"
"I understand that you had to do things that you probably wouldn't have done had you not been a soldier. I don't think you're a murderer. If I was worried about you hurting me, you wouldn't be here."
"Alec, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. Please."
"I ... you could have died and it would have been because of me."
"But I didn't die, you saved me."
"I'm a killer and you almost died because of me."
"But I didn't. Because of you, I'm still alive. I'm still breathing and I'm still here with you. And you are not a killer. You've killed but that's not who you are. You only did that because you had to."
"Do you have any idea how charming you are? How totally handsome, fun and sexy you are?"
"Yes."
"You know, I should really stop stroking your ego but you're just so damn cute."
"I know."
"Do you have any idea how badly you make me want you?"
"Do you have any idea how badly you make me want you?"
"Do you have any idea how much I love you?"
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
"Wait, Satrina. Don't be sorry. I promise I won't run. But this is new for me and I don't know what I'm feeling. I know it's something but-"
"It's okay. You'll tell me only when you want to and only when you're ready. I'm going to go make breakfast. Pancakes or eggs?"
"Pancakes. Satrina? I love you."
My name is Alec. I am a man. I am imperfect. Nothing is more important than life. Relationships and emotions are sentimental wonders. I am not any better than humans. I am not superior to them. My only loyalty is to love. My life is hers.
Pain assaulted his entire body. His stomach grumbled complaining of no food. Slowly, painfully slow, he opened his eyes. Soft rays of sunlight spilled through the window. He followed a single ray a gold light to Satrina's face. Her head rested on his firm stomach. Next to her head lay their hands, fingers entwined. Alec realized that she had fallen asleep kneeling on the floor watching over him.
Even in sleep, worry still etched her face. Fighting the pain, Alec's free hand touched her pale forehead. His finger tips wondered her face, tracing and memorizing every feature.