PART FOUR
***
"Are you insane!" he greeted her. "What are you doing here?"
She looked equally surprised to see him. "Running from an overzealous suitor, that's what I'm doing," she said, catching her breath.
Entreri stared at her as if she'd just sprouted horns and a tail.
"A demon," she explained. "I think they're just about done pummeling the succubus and mopping up the dretches."
Entreri just stood there, staring as if he were debating what to do with her. Then he shook his head, sheathed his weapons and started for the doorway. "I'll go have a word with him," he said ambivalently, as if he'd just informed her that he was going to get his hand lopped off, but it was really no big deal.
"Well, don't kill him, okay? He really isn't that bad, for a tanar'ri. Just try to explain to him that it really isn't possible for me to stay here, you know, and I have a career ahead of me that doesn't involve relocating to the Abyss, and…" She stopped when she realized she was talking to empty air.
"Oh, he'll never get all that," she said to herself, running ahead.
After the matter was settled with the bar-lgura (who wisely departed without further injury to themselves), Siobhan began tracing her steps back toward the Well of Entry.
"I thought you were going to stay at that hat shop," Entreri grumbled, obviously not pleased.
"Well, I was, but then these two noblewomen came in with a whole entourage of servants carrying shoe boxes, and they kept looking at me funny. So I told them that if their brain cell count ever exceeded their footwear collection, their faces might stop freezing in such unsightly positions. And then I left."
"Do you have to pick a fight with everyone you meet?"
"Is it just me, or is the source of that comment just slightly ironic?" she asked innocently.
Entreri gave her a look that precluded any mistaking of his intentions. "If this ever happens again," he told her, "I'm leaving you to the demon."
***
Later that day, back at the tower, Siobhan shut down her laptop and packed it in her bag. "Well, the polls are in," she said cheerfully as Jarlaxle came whistling into the room. "You're more popular than ever."
Jarlaxle raised an eyebrow. "Am I, now?"
She nodded, grinning. "Yep. The general consensus is that you're WAY sexier than Drizzt."
He stopped before his full-length mirror and stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Well, yes…yes, I can see that…" He examined himself from several different angles and asked, "And what's the take on you, fair lady?"
"Oh, the usual stuff. 'How come the main female characters in fantasy are always mouthy redheads? That is SUCH a cliché.' And, 'She's attractive AND articulate? I don't buy her character at all.' 'I hope Entreri kills her—that's all I have to say.'" She shrugged. "I really think I'd better stay in my own world from now on. You should come and visit with Entreri sometime—you could gob black face paint all over yourself, wear a chintzy robe made out of your grandmother's curtains and carry around a plastic sword. People would just think you were part of some freaky Menzoberranzan enactment group."
"Go through the teleporter with Entreri?" Jarlaxle mused. "I don't know. Do you have to hold hands or something? I don't want to get the gay rumors started again."
Siobhan rolled her eyes and dropped a stack of books into her bag. Then she caught sight of the weapon belted at Jarlaxle's side.
"Hey, I recognize that sword!" she said, pointing at it. "Some guy at the Yawning Portal was wearing it. Acted like a complete fop; dressed like a cereal box character. Had the cheesiest pick-up lines I've ever heard."
"Oh, this thing?" Jarlaxle drew the blade out, looking at it lovingly. "This is my newest toy. It's going to irritate the hell out of Entreri." He chuckled wickedly. "You see, it can store songs. I've already programmed one into it." He swung the sword through the air, activating its magic. Siobhan heard Jarlaxle's voice singing in falsetto:
"Dancing Queen…feel the beat from the tambourine…"
"That's it, I'm leaving," Siobhan said. She picked up her bag and started to run down the stairs as Jarlaxle began singing along with the sword.
"Artemis!" she called, finding him down below, preparing to go out. "Just out of curiosity, how much do you charge for having someone…ah…silenced, so to speak?"
Entreri cocked his head, listening to the lilting duet echoing down the stairs. "That depends on several factors," he said, his tone suddenly very business-like. "First of all, the mark, is he a—"
"Dark elf," Siobhan supplied.
"Ah."
"Possible magical ability, enormous resources at his disposal, lots of toys," she informed him. "Could be difficult."
"Any allies worth noting?" Entreri asked.
"At this point, it doesn't look like it," she said, trying to keep a straight face.
"Your funds are a little low," Entreri said, "but perhaps an arrangement could be made…" He stood up and tipped his bolero.
It was difficult to tell from the shadow cast by his hat brim, but Siobhan could have sworn he cracked a smile.
***
THE END
***
"Are you insane!" he greeted her. "What are you doing here?"
She looked equally surprised to see him. "Running from an overzealous suitor, that's what I'm doing," she said, catching her breath.
Entreri stared at her as if she'd just sprouted horns and a tail.
"A demon," she explained. "I think they're just about done pummeling the succubus and mopping up the dretches."
Entreri just stood there, staring as if he were debating what to do with her. Then he shook his head, sheathed his weapons and started for the doorway. "I'll go have a word with him," he said ambivalently, as if he'd just informed her that he was going to get his hand lopped off, but it was really no big deal.
"Well, don't kill him, okay? He really isn't that bad, for a tanar'ri. Just try to explain to him that it really isn't possible for me to stay here, you know, and I have a career ahead of me that doesn't involve relocating to the Abyss, and…" She stopped when she realized she was talking to empty air.
"Oh, he'll never get all that," she said to herself, running ahead.
After the matter was settled with the bar-lgura (who wisely departed without further injury to themselves), Siobhan began tracing her steps back toward the Well of Entry.
"I thought you were going to stay at that hat shop," Entreri grumbled, obviously not pleased.
"Well, I was, but then these two noblewomen came in with a whole entourage of servants carrying shoe boxes, and they kept looking at me funny. So I told them that if their brain cell count ever exceeded their footwear collection, their faces might stop freezing in such unsightly positions. And then I left."
"Do you have to pick a fight with everyone you meet?"
"Is it just me, or is the source of that comment just slightly ironic?" she asked innocently.
Entreri gave her a look that precluded any mistaking of his intentions. "If this ever happens again," he told her, "I'm leaving you to the demon."
***
Later that day, back at the tower, Siobhan shut down her laptop and packed it in her bag. "Well, the polls are in," she said cheerfully as Jarlaxle came whistling into the room. "You're more popular than ever."
Jarlaxle raised an eyebrow. "Am I, now?"
She nodded, grinning. "Yep. The general consensus is that you're WAY sexier than Drizzt."
He stopped before his full-length mirror and stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Well, yes…yes, I can see that…" He examined himself from several different angles and asked, "And what's the take on you, fair lady?"
"Oh, the usual stuff. 'How come the main female characters in fantasy are always mouthy redheads? That is SUCH a cliché.' And, 'She's attractive AND articulate? I don't buy her character at all.' 'I hope Entreri kills her—that's all I have to say.'" She shrugged. "I really think I'd better stay in my own world from now on. You should come and visit with Entreri sometime—you could gob black face paint all over yourself, wear a chintzy robe made out of your grandmother's curtains and carry around a plastic sword. People would just think you were part of some freaky Menzoberranzan enactment group."
"Go through the teleporter with Entreri?" Jarlaxle mused. "I don't know. Do you have to hold hands or something? I don't want to get the gay rumors started again."
Siobhan rolled her eyes and dropped a stack of books into her bag. Then she caught sight of the weapon belted at Jarlaxle's side.
"Hey, I recognize that sword!" she said, pointing at it. "Some guy at the Yawning Portal was wearing it. Acted like a complete fop; dressed like a cereal box character. Had the cheesiest pick-up lines I've ever heard."
"Oh, this thing?" Jarlaxle drew the blade out, looking at it lovingly. "This is my newest toy. It's going to irritate the hell out of Entreri." He chuckled wickedly. "You see, it can store songs. I've already programmed one into it." He swung the sword through the air, activating its magic. Siobhan heard Jarlaxle's voice singing in falsetto:
"Dancing Queen…feel the beat from the tambourine…"
"That's it, I'm leaving," Siobhan said. She picked up her bag and started to run down the stairs as Jarlaxle began singing along with the sword.
"Artemis!" she called, finding him down below, preparing to go out. "Just out of curiosity, how much do you charge for having someone…ah…silenced, so to speak?"
Entreri cocked his head, listening to the lilting duet echoing down the stairs. "That depends on several factors," he said, his tone suddenly very business-like. "First of all, the mark, is he a—"
"Dark elf," Siobhan supplied.
"Ah."
"Possible magical ability, enormous resources at his disposal, lots of toys," she informed him. "Could be difficult."
"Any allies worth noting?" Entreri asked.
"At this point, it doesn't look like it," she said, trying to keep a straight face.
"Your funds are a little low," Entreri said, "but perhaps an arrangement could be made…" He stood up and tipped his bolero.
It was difficult to tell from the shadow cast by his hat brim, but Siobhan could have sworn he cracked a smile.
***
THE END