10.30pm
…
11.00pm
…
11.30pm
…
12.00am
I sit in front of the pc, as usual, like I always do.
What do people do at night? Do they chat with their friends… do they watch tv….
But my father always said people watch tv coz that's all they've got in their meaningless lives, those crystal dreams weaved by pretty people
Pretty people… my fans think I'm pretty.. so am I the weaver or the dreamer..
12.30am
Nope, no one had messaged me yet…..
Because I am in invisible mode. I'm always in invisible mode.
There was a time when my room was filled with cute "uh-oh"s from the icq.
But I don't like to chat anymore…
So fAke
Useless chatter…
But you know, to survive in this world you can't be like those ultra cool, withdrawn, emotionless manga characters… In the comic they're worshipped, in the real world they're pathetic outcastes.
So… I became a schizophrenic.
You see, I'm smart, so I know how to make people fall in love with me, by acting like a lovable-cutsie-totally-wonderful-you-can't-find-a-friendlier- guy piece of shit.
I hate hypocrites.
Coz hypocrites are downright lowly.
2.00am
Wow, time passes when you're thinking.
So I took… 1 ½ hrs to think bout crap, but it's not too bad considering that I sometimes seat through the night thinking about nothing.
Yea, crap's better than nothing. Or is nothing better than crap?
4.00am
Time really flies… does it have wings, I wonder?
Hehs… pretty angelic wings like Hyde's… or cool bony ones like Ryutaro's?
You see, even stars have idols. My childhood dream was to marry Hyde, by the way, and I spent the greater part of my school life brainstorming creative n fun ways of getting rid of Megumi. Ever wondered why I can't write kanji?
(oh, I dun like Vivian Tsu either. Wanna know exactly why Sugi ditched her? Kimitsu desu.)
5.00am
My life's a trash can.
In the day, it's full of trash.
At night, all the shit had been cleared out, and it's empty.
Sometimes I wonder, is it better off empty or filled with trash.
Then I'll try to convince myself, I'm different from the rest of them, I've got_depth_. But you know, what's the use of a trash can having depth?
5.30am
People wonder why I change when I sing, I guess I just stop pretending when I'm doing the thing I love best in this world. Yea, singing.
That's why I told that kid to "get lost" when he sang my song on that music program. Nearly gave myself away… but I can't help it. I stop pretending when I'm singing.
Only Touma, only Touma knows the Ryuichi hidden behind the grin.
Touma is kinda like myself, but he's got lotsa improving to do. He keeps giving himself away all the time, especially when it gets to stuff bout Yuki. People are already getting suspicious.
…………what's the time now…. Can't see…
Just took a pill.
I take like, 5 different kinds of pills a day… Or is it 6?
… that's so embarrassing…. Ryutaro takes at least 20, I bet.
Why… I feel so horribly empty that I can't breathe.
.
.
.
.
.
What do people do when they feel empty?
Do they watch tv, or chat, or eat, or sleep….?
Or do they suffocate to death like me?
.
.
.
.
.
6.00am
.
.
.
.
9.00am
.
.
.
12.00pm
.
.
3.00pm
.
.
6.00pm
.
.
9.00pm
.
.
12.00am
What do people do at night? Do they chat with their friends… do they watch tv….
--- sorry, half of it is crap.
But really, what do people do when they feel empty… I really would like to know. It's so horrible. Please tell me.
…
11.00pm
…
11.30pm
…
12.00am
I sit in front of the pc, as usual, like I always do.
What do people do at night? Do they chat with their friends… do they watch tv….
But my father always said people watch tv coz that's all they've got in their meaningless lives, those crystal dreams weaved by pretty people
Pretty people… my fans think I'm pretty.. so am I the weaver or the dreamer..
12.30am
Nope, no one had messaged me yet…..
Because I am in invisible mode. I'm always in invisible mode.
There was a time when my room was filled with cute "uh-oh"s from the icq.
But I don't like to chat anymore…
So fAke
Useless chatter…
But you know, to survive in this world you can't be like those ultra cool, withdrawn, emotionless manga characters… In the comic they're worshipped, in the real world they're pathetic outcastes.
So… I became a schizophrenic.
You see, I'm smart, so I know how to make people fall in love with me, by acting like a lovable-cutsie-totally-wonderful-you-can't-find-a-friendlier- guy piece of shit.
I hate hypocrites.
Coz hypocrites are downright lowly.
2.00am
Wow, time passes when you're thinking.
So I took… 1 ½ hrs to think bout crap, but it's not too bad considering that I sometimes seat through the night thinking about nothing.
Yea, crap's better than nothing. Or is nothing better than crap?
4.00am
Time really flies… does it have wings, I wonder?
Hehs… pretty angelic wings like Hyde's… or cool bony ones like Ryutaro's?
You see, even stars have idols. My childhood dream was to marry Hyde, by the way, and I spent the greater part of my school life brainstorming creative n fun ways of getting rid of Megumi. Ever wondered why I can't write kanji?
(oh, I dun like Vivian Tsu either. Wanna know exactly why Sugi ditched her? Kimitsu desu.)
5.00am
My life's a trash can.
In the day, it's full of trash.
At night, all the shit had been cleared out, and it's empty.
Sometimes I wonder, is it better off empty or filled with trash.
Then I'll try to convince myself, I'm different from the rest of them, I've got_depth_. But you know, what's the use of a trash can having depth?
5.30am
People wonder why I change when I sing, I guess I just stop pretending when I'm doing the thing I love best in this world. Yea, singing.
That's why I told that kid to "get lost" when he sang my song on that music program. Nearly gave myself away… but I can't help it. I stop pretending when I'm singing.
Only Touma, only Touma knows the Ryuichi hidden behind the grin.
Touma is kinda like myself, but he's got lotsa improving to do. He keeps giving himself away all the time, especially when it gets to stuff bout Yuki. People are already getting suspicious.
…………what's the time now…. Can't see…
Just took a pill.
I take like, 5 different kinds of pills a day… Or is it 6?
… that's so embarrassing…. Ryutaro takes at least 20, I bet.
Why… I feel so horribly empty that I can't breathe.
.
.
.
.
.
What do people do when they feel empty?
Do they watch tv, or chat, or eat, or sleep….?
Or do they suffocate to death like me?
.
.
.
.
.
6.00am
.
.
.
.
9.00am
.
.
.
12.00pm
.
.
3.00pm
.
.
6.00pm
.
.
9.00pm
.
.
12.00am
What do people do at night? Do they chat with their friends… do they watch tv….
--- sorry, half of it is crap.
But really, what do people do when they feel empty… I really would like to know. It's so horrible. Please tell me.