*****

CHAPTER FOUR - HOMECOMING

'And you bring me to my knees ... All this time that I could beg you please ... All the times that I felt insecure ... And I leave my burdens at the door ... I'm on the outside ... I'm looking in ... I can see through you ... See your true colors ... Inside you're ugly ... Ugly like me ... I can see through you ... See to the real you ... All this time that I felt like this won't end ... Was for you ... And I taste what I could never have ... It's from you ... All those times that I tried ... My intentions ... Full of pride ... And I waste more time than anyone ... I'm on the outside ... I'm looking in ... I can see through you ... See your true colors ... Cause inside you're ugly ... Ugly like me ... I can see through you ... See to the real you ... All the times that I cried ... All this wasting ... It's all inside ... And I feel all this pain ... Stuffed it down ... It's back again ... And I lie here in bed ... All alone ... I can't mend what I feel ... Tomorrow will be okay ... I'm on the outside ... I'm looking in ... I can see through you ... See your true colors ... Inside you're ugly ... Ugly like me ... I can see through you ... See to the real you ... (Staind: 'Outside')'

Midgar. Sector Seven Rubble. Afternoon.

Acrid smoke accosted her nose as she stepped through the piles of rubble of what was once Sector Seven. She moved aside pieces of jagged metal and torn boards, trying to avoid getting cuts and splinters as best as she could, thinking that she really needed to find some clothing that would offer her better protection from the hazards.

Her normal white tank and black shorts allowed her to fight easily, but did little to protect her from the destruction she now worked to remove. The rest of her clothing as well as the remainder of her belongs lay somewhere crushed under the pile of rubble that was Sector Seven. She hoped that there would be something left from Seventh Heaven, preferably clothing, that she could salvage. Elena had offered her some of her clothes, but the female Turk was of a much slighter build, and even the offered pair of loose-cut jeans had been too confining.

She hadn't liked being assigned to Sector Seven's cleanup, but Reeve had insisted, telling her that it would give her much needed closure and allow her to put to rest some of the demons that haunted her. So far all she'd managed was to hold back the tears as pile after pile of rubble was removed. They'd found very few bodies and it seemed, thankfully, that most of the residents of the sector had gotten out in time.

The bodies of her Avalanche friends, Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie, had yet to be recovered, but crews had just reached the section of rubble that had once been the actual plate support. She dreaded the inevitability of that discovery.

Tifa only saw one benefit in this whole experience and that was that Reno had been assigned to Sector Seven as well. That was fitting, she thought, for him to face first hand the destruction he had wrought onto her former home.

She glanced over at him to find him watching her. She couldn't read his thoughts, but she was sure they weren't pleasant. Reno had been ridiculing her for several days, ever since she had fainted at Reeve's announcement of starting with Sector Seven.

She didn't know why she'd fainted out there on the plain. Ever since her mother had died, she'd tried to not show weakness. Her trainer, the martial arts master Zangan, had always taught her to be strong and never let her opponents see or sense weakness in her. That was advice that she strove to live by and had gotten her out of the battles with Jenova, Sephiroth, and other creatures alive. But, much to her embarrassment, the mere mention of returning to the devastation that was her old home in Midgar had laid her out cold on the ground with her former enemies huddled around her trying to revive her. Even Reno had seemed almost concerned at the time, but once it was evident that she would survive, he'd instantly started to taunt her.

Reno glanced over to find that Tifa had shot him another of those dagger looks. He didn't have to wonder what she was thinking. He knew that she was looking around at the destruction and remembering how he had been the one to set the detonator that ultimately collapsed the plate onto this sector.

But he was certain that she didn't understand that he was struck by the sheer irony of the situation. He stood in the midst of the rubble of what he had always thought was a pitiful excuse for a sector, amazed at the destruction. It was the same devastation that he had caused when he'd set the detonator on the pillar support for the massive metal plate that had once rested far above their heads. He shook his head to clear his mind of the thoughts that came.

He muttered to himself. "No, I was only following orders." He returned to cleaning, a sharp pang of something hitting him sharply each time he unearthed yet more remains of lives that lived there. A child's toy, shards of dishware, crushed furniture. All remnants of life that had been abandoned, if not lost, when the upper plate fell.

If he didn't know better, he would say that sharp pang was remorse, but that couldn't be. He, Reno of the Turks, didn't feel that. He'd been conditioned to not feel emotion. To do whatever it took without feeling. He was a highly trained member of Shinra's Elite, and he most certainly didn't have remorse. Following orders was supposed to mean that he didn't have to feel the pain.

"Fuck. I've had enough of this." He tossed down the shovel he'd been carrying and, pulling off the leather workman's gloves he wore, he strode in her direction. Without a word, he tossed the gloves angrily on the ground at her feet and started to walk away.

"Just where do you think you're going, Reno?" She asked sharply as his gloves landed at her feet.

"Anywhere but here. I've had enough of this."

"You're too good to help clean up the mess you created?" Her tone was accusatory, cutting him no slack.

"I was ordered by Shinra to drop that plate in retaliation for the Reactors you and your Rebel friends destroyed!"

"It… it was for the Planet, Reno. Shinra was killing it." Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over. "And… Shinra killed my family."

Reno rolled his eyes in disgust. "Shinra killed a lot of people's families! You didn't see them all going out and destroying the city, do you? Your actions were acts of terrorism. The Turks were ordered to 'take care of the problem'. And we did. Effectively."

"Yes, the Turks are very effective at taking care of problems, aren't they, Reno?" She spoke softly, but anger punctuated every word. "Burn a town, drop several thousand tons of metal onto a Sector full of innocents, destroy a reactor, squash the resistance by any means necessary."

Something inside him snapped at her words and he spun on his heel, his eyes flashing with anger he didn't truly know was inside him. "Fuck you! Look at your hands, Ms. High and Mighty. Their fucking blood is on your hands as sure as it is on mine."

'Burn a town…' Her words echoed in his head as he yelled at her. He knew what town she'd meant, but he hadn't been there. They'd been coming back from the Gold Saucer when they had seen the smoke in the distance and had been rerouted by Shinra forces around the blazing inferno that had been North Corel. That's when the Shinra guards had recognized him as a member of Shinra's Turks. That's where she had discovered the truth of who he was. Not the nice guy Nathan that she had been dating and had let make love to her, but instead the despicable, rotten Reno of the Turks. And from that moment on, she had damned him to Hell and left him standing there amidst the latest in Shinra's long line of destruction as she returned home to Midgar without him.

He turned to walk away, his hands balled into fists, holding them tight to his sides, damning the memories, damning them for making him feel, and for making him weak. As he left to find something to drown his anger in he couldn't resist leaving her with one parting shot.

"I didn't burn Corel, Tifa. Maybe you forgot that you were screaming my name in ecstasy when that rebellion happened."

If looks could kill, Reno would've been a goner from the look of sheer hatred that Tifa shot him for his parting comments.

*****

Elena and Rude stood silently watching the latest in what was becoming a long string of arguments between Tifa and Reno. Although they couldn't hear what was being said, the body language of the combatants said that they weren't exactly having a nice cup of tea and discussing the weather.

"We have to do something. Those kinds of fights aren't good for morale." Elena's brow furrowed in concern as she watched Reno storm away.

Rude grunted. It really wasn't any of their business that those two couldn't get along. He knew that both of them had a lot of anger and pent-up feelings about more than just the destruction of Midgar and Sector Seven. He wondered if Reeve had been thinking clearly when he had announced that Sector Seven would be the first sector to be cleared out. But then again, Rude was certain that Reeve didn't know that the history of Reno and Tifa went way beyond the destruction of Sector Seven.

"Although, at the rate they're going, they'll end up either dead or in bed together." Elena glanced sideways at Rude, looking for his reaction to her last comment. She knew that, for whatever reason, Rude harbored a soft spot for the fiery Tifa. She suspected that had been a major factor in Rude's decision to stay, but she wasn't going to torment Rude about his "crush". She figured that Reno did enough of that for the both of them. What she didn't know was how much of a sore spot Tifa was for Reno and that, other than a couple of references to Tifa during the Turks' trip to Gongaga several weeks before, neither had brought up her name to the other.

Rude nodded. "You talk to Tifa. I'll take Reno."

Elena pouted. "Why do I have to talk to her?"

Rude stared silently at her for a moment through his dark sunglasses. After a barely perceptible movement of his head, she realized he had just given her the once-over. "Because you're a girl."