*****

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE – GOLD SAUCER

'I cry for your heart of stone … I'm gonna wait until you come home … Oh why I am I alone? … I'm as good as dead yeh … Ooh I lost my sense of passion and direction … To protect myself from hurting and despair … Listen to my heart my soul is aching … Fool or saint? … Cause you went and left me … And you so upset me … I can't believe that you would ever find it easy … To walk away as if you'd never really cared … Did you expect that I'd give in and beg for mercy … Out in the gutter … I cry for your heart of stone … I'm gonna wait until you come home … Oh why I am I alone? … I'm as good as dead yeh … Ooh I look back on the first night with affection … And if you had a heart you'd remember too … The way we used to run around like little children … Fool or saint? … My mother told me … You'd be no good for me … I cry for your heart of stone … I'm gonna wait until you come home … Oh why I am I alone? …
I'm as good as dead yeh … Out in the gutter … I got to break that heart of stone … I cry for your heart of stone … (I been worried about you baby) … Oh why I am I alone? … (I been worried about you baby) … I'm as good as dead yeh … (I want you back) … (Erasure: 'Heart of Stone')'

North Corel. Town. Night.

"Where are we going?" Jessie asked Tifa as they crept out of the house, trying not to wake the other occupants who still slept inside.

"Gold Saucer." Tifa grinned at her friend. "I've still got a Gold Ticket so we don't have to pay to get in." Tifa pulled the lifetime membership pass out of her pocket and showed it to Jessie.

"Gold Saucer!" Cait Sith exclaimed, coming alive from his corner and bounding after them. Apparently Reeve had left the moogle on auto-pilot instead of shutting the animated toy down for the evening.

"Shh!" Tifa said to the cat and moogle. "You can come too, but you have to be quiet until we get to the Ropeway."

The cat bounced happily on his moogle as the small group walked up the stairs and stood on the platform waiting for the Ropeway's car to return. "Oh boy! Tell your fortune?"

Tifa giggled at Cait. "Sure!"

The moogle danced around, moving its arms up and down as it always did when it was printing out a fortune. The cat reached down and took the piece of paper from the moogle. "Your lucky color is blue."

"No, no, no! That won't do!" Cait exclaimed. "Let me try this again!"

Jessie had no idea what to make of all this dancing and fortune telling being done by the large overstuffed toy that she had been introduced to at Junon. Tifa had given her a quick background on Reeve's animated robot toy, but hadn't mentioned the moogle's penchant for telling fortunes.

The moogle stopped its dance and the cat took the second piece of paper. "Never dance with two left shoes."
"Cait!" Tifa exclaimed at the craziness of the fortunes the moogle was giving.

The cat shrugged. "It is good advice, but hold on. Let me try again!" For the third time, the moogle did its dance, and the cat took the fortune with some trepidation, remembering that in the past, when the moogle did actually predict something, it had been fairly dire. "The confession of truths will lead you home."

"This thing must be broken!" Cait bopped the moogle on the head. "I can try again!"

"No, Cait, it's okay. I think I understand." Tifa smiled and looked at Jessie as the Ropeway's car unloaded its passengers and they got on board.

Jessie spent the trip staring, amazed, out the windows of the Ropeway. All the lights and sounds and fireworks everywhere was sensory overload, but she was excited to finally be visiting the amusement park that she had heard so much about. The car came to a stop and they got out. Tifa had the membership card in hand as they approached the entrance.

"Cait Sith needs no membership card!" The cat exclaimed as it bounded through the entrance and disappeared into tube leading to Wonder Square. He was gone by the time Tifa and Jessie entered the main station.

"Reno said he'd be at the Ghost Hotel." Tifa pointed at one of the openings in the wall. "If you're anxious to check on him, that is." Tifa was hiding the fact that she wanted to see him, but was dreading what he would say when she finally told him that he was right. "Or we can take a tour and then see him later."

Jessie was torn momentarily, but quickly decided on the tour. Nathan could brood awhile longer. She'd never been to the Gold Saucer before and didn't know when she'd get to come again. "He's probably not in his room anyways. Let's take the tour."

Tifa grinned. "Let's start with Chocobo Square. Maybe Ester will loan us a couple of chocobos to ride since ours are still at the ranch."

Jessie's eyes widened. "Me? Ride a chocobo?"

"Sure, why not?" Tifa giggled happily as she pulled Jessie into the portal to Chocobo Square. She knew that she still needed to find Reno, but this was Jessie's night to experience the Gold Saucer. There would be time to talk with Reno later.

*****

Reno sat at the bottom of the stairs leading to the Battle Arena, a stack of "tissues" sitting next to him, trying not to look defeated. He'd spent the afternoon trying to take out his frustrations in Dio's famed Battle Arena, but all he'd gotten for his troubles was a stack of tissues and very sore muscles. He'd been sitting there for quite some time, trying to find the strength to move. People always said that you could fight in Dio's battles and come out feeling just fine afterwards, but those people obviously never spent the entire afternoon there or without any materia.

He hadn't been lying when he said he'd be at the Gold Saucer. He had no intention of staying in the nearby town, not when it was so obvious that he wasn't wanted there. 'Ex Shinra employee.' The way that Wallace had described him was accurate, as much as he hated to admit it. He'd donned the blue suit again for this trip, feeling the need to surround himself with what was familiar to endure the trip into hostile territory, and using any intimidation tactics that he could in order to protect his body and his heart.

He'd felt Tifa's sharp, icy glare as he'd left her with the offer to join him in the Ghost Hotel, knowing that she wouldn't, but feeling the need to try to hurt her as her constant defense of the terrorists and condemnation of the Turks drove daggers through his soul.

Happy couples ran by him, not giving him a second glance. Muscle bound men climbed the stairs to impress their girlfriends with their strength and prowess in battle. Reno scoffed at each of them in turn. Didn't they realize that love was only an illusion?

He gathered up enough of what remained of his strength and pulled himself painfully to his feet, clutching the stack of tissues in his hand. He thought about dumping them in the nearest trash can, but somehow they were symbolic to his state. The symbol of losing. He'd lost it all, hadn't he? His job, his security, and most of all, the only woman he'd ever loved. He was tired of thinking about the "if-only's" that plagued his mind. If only he'd been born to another family, if only he'd walked away from the Turks, if he'd told her before he'd lost his heart that he was a Turk.

"Fuck."

It was over. No more losing. He crumpled the tissues into a ball and tossed them in the trash before squaring his shoulders again and entering the passageway to Chocobo Square. He still had a little gil left. He'd been dubbed "King of the Birdies" once before. Time to prove he still had what it took to win somewhere.