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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - ANNIHILATION

'Never made it as a wise man … I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin' … Tired of livin' like a blind man … I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling … This is how you remind me .. This is how you remind me of what I really am … It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story … This time I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking … I've been wrong, I've been down, been to the bottom of every bottle … These five words in my head scream "are we havin' fun yet?" … It's not like you didn't know that … I said I love you and I swear I still do … And it must have been so bad … Cause livin' with me must have damn near killed you … This is how you remind me of what I really am … This is how you remind me of what I really am … It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story … This time I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking … I've been wrong, I've been down, been to the bottom of every bottle … These five words in my head scream "are we havin' fun yet?" … Never made it as a wise man … I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin' … This is how you remind me … This is how you remind me of what I really am … It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story (Nickelback: 'How You Remind Me')'

Gold Saucer. Night.

"This place is huge!" Jessie exclaimed as they exited the tube from the Station and stood at the foot of the stairs leading to Chocobo Square.

Tifa laughed. "You haven't seen hardly any of it yet!" She ran up the stairs, Jessie following, still overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the amusement park that reached towards the sky.

"Ester!" Tifa exclaimed, walking up to the popular, if slightly oddly dressed, racing manager.

Ester smiled at Tifa as she recognized the brunette. "Tifa? It's been a long time. Have you come to race too?"

"If you have a chocobo or two for us to borrow." Tifa was curious as to what Ester meant by 'too'. "This is Jessie." Tifa introduced the two women. "Jessie, the is Ester, the greatest chocobo racing manager on the planet."

"You aren't racing Cloud's chocobos?" Ester looked confused.

"I haven't seen Cloud in months." Tifa stated, realizing that not only had she not seen him, she hadn't thought of him except very briefly since he'd shattered her heart right after Meteor. She'd been too busy with the cleanup efforts and dealing with all the emotions that being around Reno had dredged up.

"I won!" The familiar voice came from behind her.

Tifa looked in shock as a sweaty Cloud Strife walked up to where they were standing. What was he doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be off finding himself and atoning for Aeris' death?

"Congratulations!" Ester told him. "Would you like to race again?"

Cloud noticed Tifa standing there and he suddenly looked sheepish. He had no doubts what that expression on her face was saying. "I, uh… No, I'd better not."

"Hi, Cloud." Jessie spoke, trying to break the tension between Cloud and Tifa.

Cloud turned towards the voice he hadn't heard in over a year. A voice that as far as he knew could only be coming from the grave.

"Jessie?!"

Jessie groaned at the prospect of going over the whole story again. "Yes, Cloud. I'm alive."

"You don't owe him an explanation, Jessie." Tifa stated, glowering at Cloud.

Cloud shrugged and gave Tifa a 'What'd I do now?' look.

"Can she ride one of your chocobos?" Tifa asked nicely, trying unsuccessfully to hide the anger that was welling up at seeing Cloud here at the Gold Saucer when she'd always assumed he was trying to figure out a way to bring Aeris back.

"Uh, sure." Cloud scratched his head. "Take the blue one. It's the most even-tempered."
Jessie nodded, having no real clue what Cloud was talking about. Tifa explained the basics in riding and controlling chocobos in the race to Jessie, and sent her into the next race. "Don't worry if you win or not. We'll be cheering for you either way!"

Jessie smiled nervously and entered the jockey's lounge to await the call for the next race.

"I guess you're wondering what I'm doing here, huh?" Cloud asked Tifa once Jessie had disappeared.

Tifa shrugged, hiding the hurt she felt, even though she was fairly certain she was over him now. She was angry with him, but it wasn't an anger that made her blood boil like the anger she felt whenever Reno started in on her.

"I was coming to see you."

"Save it, Cloud. You weren't, and you know it. If I hadn't accidentally run into you here, I wouldn't have seen you." Tifa kept her tone level. She was amazed at how little effort it took.

"Yes, I was. I did a lot of thinking while I was in the City of the Ancients. I never felt for Aeris what I felt for you. I always wanted to protect her, but it was always you. You were the one that met me at the well… the reason I joined Soldier, the one that helped me pull myself together in the Lifestream." His Mako blue eyes met hers, searching for an answer, for acceptance.

The familiar flutter of feeling suddenly welled up in her heart as he spoke, but her head quickly tried to push it away. He'd left her alone after Meteor to fend for herself. Reeve had taken her in, made her feel wanted. She had a burgeoning friendship with Elena, one of her former enemies, and a past with another enemy that she was desperately needing to sort out. Cloud's presence was confusing her, to say the least, but through the jumbled pile of thoughts that invaded her mind, came what she knew she needed to say.

"It's over, Cloud."

"But, Teef! I realized that it's you! That you're the one I want for the rest of my life!"

She'd been searching for a replacement, just as he was. Someone like her, someone who knew the pains of her childhood, someone she could agree with and not have to justify being with, never realizing that she had already found her soul mate, and had left him hurting and confused.

"No, Cloud. I'm not. All I ever felt for you was an infatuation. I was looking for security, and you were familiar; my childhood friend."

It hadn't ever been Cloud that she'd been searching for. He was her childhood friend, whom she'd had a crush on then, but now... no, not now. A crush wouldn't last forever, and she knew that Cloud wasn't the one for her. It had nearly taken the end of the world to make her realize that.

"Teef…"

She caught sight of a familiar figure out of the corner of her eye. Thinking fast, she told him. "There's someone else." It wasn't quite the truth, but it wasn't quite a lie either.

Her admission of having someone else floored him. "Who?" He demanded, though knowing he had no right to ask, and knowing that she had no obligation to answer him.

He was standing there, just a few steps away engrossed in the racing monitor. He probably had a fair sum of gil riding on the race. She knew it was wrong; she knew that what she really needed was to talk to him, not use him for revenge on Cloud. Her heart knew that he would only hate her more for what she was about to do, but she did it anyways. The urge to show Cloud that he wasn't the one for her was overwhelming. And maybe a small part of her wanted to feel his skin against hers again.

Cloud's jaw dropped to the ground as he watched Tifa walk over and calmly kiss Reno.

Reno had no clue why he was being pulled away from the racing monitor, but the touch on his arm was familiar. He turned to protest the treatment, only to find that he'd given her the opening she'd needed. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her lips were pressed up against his. His eyes looked over her shoulder and saw the reason for her sudden interest in him. She was only using him. Using him to make that asshole Cloud Strife jealous, but somehow he didn't feel all that used. Somehow the anger that he knew he should be feeling wasn't there.

The soft feel of her lips pressing against his own brought so much flooding back. All he could do was close his eyes and let himself imagine for just a moment that she really did feel that way about him and kiss her in return. His mind was on auto-pilot, not really thinking about what he was doing, but letting his instincts take over. He buried his hands in her hair, and pulled her closer to him, playing along with her game. He'd been wanting this since the day he'd gotten in her face in Reeve's office. Hell, if it meant he could kiss her for all it was worth, he'd do it gladly and worry about the repercussions later. "I'll play along, Tifa, but this will cost you."

Instead of the expected reaction from him, she felt his hands in her hair and felt herself being pulled closer to him. What she had expected to be a short, chaste kiss followed by an angry smirk was rapidly becoming much more. He nipped at her bottom lip and when her lips parted in surprise, his tongue slipped between her opened lips. He kissed her like he had before, gently, tenderly, slowly exploring what he hadn't touched in four years, but buried beneath the tenderness, she could feel a growing hunger in his kiss. A hunger she wasn't sure she was ready to give in to again.

He felt her pull away from him, and he looked into her eyes to find a multitude of emotions playing out in her garnet depths. Regret, sorrow, passion, betrayal. They were all there as he studied her for a few moments, still not releasing her from his arms. She turned away from his gaze and he reluctantly released her. She was frowning. Frowning?! He tried to get her to meet his eyes again, looking for a source of that frown that preyed on her beautiful face, but she refused to meet his eyes again.

"I'm… I'm sorry… Nathan." Tifa turned and ran, lest her eyes betray her anymore than her actions already had.

'Nathan.' Reno turned and watched Tifa depart, enjoying the look of shock on Cloud's face. He was reminded of a day nearly a year ago where Cloud Strife had foiled him twice. First by blowing up the Reactor and then later by escaping with the girl he had been sent to retrieve for Professor Hojo. Apparently now it was his turn to foil Cloud Strife. Reno smiled at that thought. But there was another thought playing in the dark corners of his mind. Something he had been trying to avoid. He was falling in love again, and he was certain that nothing good could come of that.

"What'd you do to Tifa?" Jessie asked as she approached from the racetrack, the thrill of coming in second in her first race gone upon seeing Tifa retreating through the doors.

"Nothing she didn't start."

"Did you two reach a truce?" Jessie looked hopeful.

'A truce? Could kissing her until I couldn't breathe be called that?' Reno smirked thinking of the events that had transpired before Jessie's arrival. Tifa hadn't spoken of forgiveness, but she kissed like a woman seeking absolution.

"Not exactly, but we didn't kill one another either."

"Did you tell her how you feel?"

"No." Reno responded. "I can't tell her that."

Jessie sighed. Sometimes her brother was so stubborn. "Are you just going to keep playing this cat and mouse game then?"

Reno said nothing, instead he turned away to look at Cloud, the reason for the ten minutes of bliss he'd just experienced with Tifa.

"Hey, Strife." Reno smirked his trademark smirk as he raised a hand in a casual wave to the spiky-haired blonde and exited the lobby. "Thanks."

Cloud had no idea what to make of that.