Bonus Awards Show
Chapter 6 – Super Spy Mario
By Pelican (Pelican_13@Yahoo.com)
Somewhere under the ocean, Super Spy Mario was preparing for his next mission. He was in a torpedo that had been launched to a cove underwater. As it entered the natural formation it floated up to an air pocket in the surface. A piece of metal fell off and Mario, wearing a wet suit, swam out. He made his was to a nearby metal platform. He was behind a few stacks of barrels incase anyone in the secret base was watching him. He pulled himself up and unzipped his wet suit, letting it slide down to his feet. He stepped out and was now wearing a black tuxedo. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a white flower, which he pinned to his tux.
After making himself look like the classic super spy he peered over the pile of barrels. There were several computer stations with female scientists pushing in buttons and looking over data. Mario noticed no guards and decided to step out of his concealment. Finding no danger, he walked through the mass of scientists and tall computers.
"Stop! Who are you?" asked one of the scientists.
"Don't-a mind-a me-a," Mario replied, "I-a just need-a to kill the boss."
"Not without a fight," another scientist cut in. Soon Mario was surrounded by taller females wearing lab coats.
"Let's-a do this!" Mario declared. The first wave of scientists jumped forth. Mario attacked first and jumped up. He used a horizontal kick to take down three of the first members of the evil organization. Another worker came from behind and grabbed Mario. Mario put his hands on hers and flung her forward, taking out more hostiles in the process.
"Hiya!" called another scientist as she jumped at Mario with a karate chop. Mario used an uppercut to take her out in mid-air. Three more guards lined up in front of him. This time Mario was going to do it old skool style.
Mario jumped towards the woman to the left. He hit her square on her head and jumped towards the middle woman. He did the same and went on to the last. He landed on the ground as the three fell, unconscious.
One more opponent was left standing. She was about to grab Mario from behind, but he spun around and used an eye poke. She fell to the ground as if she had been hit extremely hard in the head, even though she hadn't.
Mario stood over the bodies of the fallen he had battled. He reached down and removed the lab coat of one of the scientists and wore it himself, despite it being several sizes too large for him.
"Now onto-a the boss!"
Back in Las Vegas, Kirby was still working the slots. His bag of quarters was almost empty and he had had no success in getting the jackpot award. Two tourists were standing nearby.
"I hear there's a lot of free food in Vegas."
"Hey, look! It's a marshmallow!" The two tourists approached Kirby.
"Can I eat you?" one of them asked.
"No," Kirby tiredly replied.
"Not even a little bite?" the other asked.
"Go away," Kirby said as he put another quarter into the slot.
"Hey! Kirby!" called a voice from the other side of the row of slot machines. Kirby turned to see Yoshi taking a seat next to him. Yoshi looked just as tired as Kirby. The green lizard still had his camera around his neck and wore an aloha shirt.
"What's up?" Kirby asked.
"I've been going all around the world," Yoshi said, "and I'm really tired. How about you?"
"I've been trying to get a jackpot. I think this will be my six thousand five hundred thirteenth pull," Kirby informed. He pulled the handle once more.
"Wow," Yoshi said in surprise. "Any luck so far?"
"Not really," Kirby answered, kind of out of it. The pictures on the slots stopped one by one. Jackpot, jackpot, and the third was a jackpot!
"Hey! You got it!" Yoshi called.
"Really?" Kirby replied with no enthusiasm. "Then let's get out of here, I'm sleepy." Kirby yawned once and stood up. Coins began piling out of the machine and the two left.
"Free money!" someone called. People began to flock around the vacated slot machine and grab handfuls of quarters. Yoshi and Kirby left the chaos without even thinking about the money.
Suddenly, Fox, Samus, Bowser, Donkey Kong, Peach, Ness, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and Falco busted into the room Pichu and Fox had make Captain Falcon into a statue. They found Pichu arguing with the concrete Falcon. His body was covered with a layer of hard cement, save his mouth and nose.
"Pichu pi pi pichu!" Pichu yelled pointing at the statue.
"What are you gonna do about it!? Show me your moves!" Captain Falcon retaliated.
"Falcon, what would you do about it? You're a statue and Pichu can shock you!" Fox interrupted.
A sly grin crossed Pichu face. He began to charge an electric attack in his cheeks.
"No! Don't!" Captain Falcon called. Soon his body was struck by a mass of thunderbolts. The other smashers could do nothing other than stand back and watch, some laughing. Pichu eventually stopped the attack, leaving Captain Falcon sizzling but still standing.
"Ow! I'm going to get you for that, Foxy!" Captain Falcon called out, unable to see if Fox and Pichu were still around.
"You weren't joking about it being the ugliest statue in history," Samus cut in.
"What? Who said that about me?" Captain Falcon asked angrily.
"Cool it, Doug," Fox interrupted.
"What did you call me, foxy boy!?"
"Shut up!" Peach yelled. All fighters quickly silenced. "Someone get him out of that cement, it didn't help us at all!"
"Stand back," Samus ordered. Knowing it was Samus, everyone did indeed stand back. Samus pointed her missile launcher at Captain Falcon and fired. An explosion followed where Captain Falcon once stood. As the fire died down the occupants of the room saw bits and pieces of cement fall off Captain Falcon, then Captain Falcon himself fall to the ground in pain.
In the underwater base, Super Spy Mario was at the door of the evil, diabolical, distasteful, and unoriginal Doctor Disgruntled. Mario was about to press the button on the nearby control pad to open the elaborately large door dug into the rock when something struck him from behind. He fell to the floor unconscious.
When Mario awoke he was hanging upside-down. His feet were tied together with a rope that was connected to a pulley on the ceiling. Below him was a glass pool filled with giant centipedes!
"Ah! Giant centipedes!" Mario yelled. He looked down, up from his perspective, at the mass of long insects crawling over each other.
"I see you've met my pets, Agent Mario," came a voice from the other side of the room. Mario looked towards that side of the room to see the man in charge of the entire operation, Doctor Disgruntled!
"Doctor-a Disgruntled!"
"That's Doctor Disgruntled to you, Super Spy Mario!"
"That's-a what I-a said, Doctor-a Disgruntled," Mario repeated.
"No! There's no 'ah.' Just Doctor Disgruntled!"
"Do you-a have a hearing problem? I said-a Doctor-a Disgruntled!"
Doctor Disgruntled was a tall figure in a similar while lab coat. He was bald and had a thunder-shaped scar near his right eye. He began to look more disgruntled at Mario's lack of respect.
"You shall pay for your lack of respect! Lower him in!"
A female lab worker did as she was told and pushed a button on a control pad built into the cave. The rope began to lower into the pit of disgusting insects.
Mario reacted quickly. He reached into his pants and pulled out a gadget he had picked up before he left. It was Link's hookshot. Mario pointed it toward the roof and fired. The hookshot stuck and Mario could pull himself up. He formed a fireball in his free hand and fired it at the rope. It burnt instantly. Mario's feet were still tied together and he was now hanging from the hookshot over the pit.
"Stop him!" ordered the evil doctor.
The lab worker was helpless. Mario released another fireball down at his feet and let the rope burn off him. His shoes and pants didn't burn though. Mario used a mid-air jump and landed right next to his newest evil nemesis. He reached down to his belt and pulled out another object he had acquired before he left, Fox's blaster. He pointed it at Doctor Disgruntled, who raised his hands in surrender.
"D-d-don't shoot," Disgruntled stuttered.
Mario was more occupied with looking around for the Super Spy award. He found none and focused more on Doctor Disgruntled.
"I like my martinis shaken, not stirred."
"W-what?"
"I put three numbers before my name."
"What on Earth are you talking of?"
Mario continued scanning the room for the award, or an entity that would give him the award. Upon finding none, he apprehended the evil doctor and made his way back to the exit.
Captain Falcon finally stood up. Remnants of the statue he had once been encased in lay all over the floor. Mewtwo floated into the room followed by Ganondorf.
"Hey everyone! Did we get the Switzerland award?" Ganondorf began.
"Not so loud," Mewtwo said weakly while holding his head. He turned back to his fellow smash brothers. "Does anyone have an aspirin?"
Back in the hallway a few clicking sounds could be heard. Mister Game and Watch soon entered the room and made his presence felt. He formed a bell in his hand and executed his taunt.
"Nooooo, the pain!" Mewtwo shouted. He teleported out of the room. Luigi and Zelda also arrived on the scene. Luigi was still holding the broom.
"Give me one of those R's!" DK ordered.
"No," Zelda simply replied.
"That's not how you get the No R 4 U award!" Peach cut in.
"Then how-a do you?" Luigi asked.
"To get the No R 4 U award you have to be in a match and," Peach began. Not unlike all the other times she tried to get a point across, she was interrupted. Link, covered in dirt and mud and extremely exhausted, entered the room. The smashers looked at his worn out and dirty figure as it set itself down on a couch.
"I," Link began. He took in a deep breath, "think," another breath, "I got," another visible breath, "the Marathon Man," Link took one more breath, "award."
"None of us got any awards," Falco informed. Link just sat there and didn't register the new information. He was too tired.