Alice opens her eyes. She knows that back home, her body is fast asleep, but her mind is far away from it, drifting here on the spires of Wonderland. She looks around her and gasps. The last time she was here, things were beginning to deteriorate, but now the land has been turned to a barren wasteland. The earth is slick with mud and puddles, which reflect a few barren trees scraping at a charcoal sky. The air is chilled, and a sudden gust of wind sputters a few crackling leaves across her feet. Cheshire Cat is at her side, looking past her. His feline face is contorted in solemnity, a rare occasion. There is a wooden stake before her, and mounted on its barbed tip is a white rabbit's head, soaked in blood. The blood drips methodically, pooling at the base of the stake in a thick, dark puddle.
"Oh, rabbit. My beautiful little rabbit," she sighs. The verdant of her eyes flares in anger. Still stabbed in the rabbit's left eye is the knife that was used to butcher it. She pulls it out with a sickening yank, and it is coated in the rabbit's blood. She shrieks in anger, screaming wildly to the uncaring skies. Her screams seem to throttle all of Wonderland as small tremors ripple through the land. Without wiping away the Rabbit's blood, Alice takes the knife to her wrist. It is a pewter meat cleaver, the hilt ornately hewn with the Duchess's emblem: A heart being spliced by a dagger. She quickly cuts through the surface of her skin, watching a slender, red line unfurl. She is ritualistic in her movements, watching as the Rabbit's blood mixes with her very own. "This will not go unpunished," she whispers in a heady voice as she licks the blade.
Cheshire sits nearby, unruffled by Alice's raging wails. "The crazy Queen of Hearts is dead, killed by the Duchess. Duchess rules here now," Cheshire says.
"Well, the fucking Duchess is going to feel The Wrath."
Cheshire's grin plays on his lips, the corners of his mouth twitching. "It's good to have you back."
"The shit list has started, Cat, and Duchess is name number one. Wonderland isn't big enough for two crazy bitches, therefore one of us is going to find our carcasses flailing from the highest flagpole in Wonderland…I don't think it's going to be me."
Cheshire looks about nervously. "I don't think it's going to be you, either," he says, "but if we don't find cover soon, I don't think it's going to really matter what you think. Heads impaled on wooden posts don't really do much thinking…"
Alice takes one last enraged look at the Rabbit before finally conceding, "Ok, Cheshire. Let's go." She sees that Cheshire has already begun to amble into the forest, his tail twitching behind him purposefully. Alice wipes the dagger against her chest and notices that she's now wearing a short, gray dress complete with bloodied apron. She carefully ties the dagger to her thigh, using a black ribbon that had been holding back her impudent curls. Flies are beginning to hover over Rabbit's head, but she gives the decapitation a farewell kiss anyway.
"Goodbye, Rabbit," she says with a tear, before running to catch up with Cheshire.
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The orange orb in the sky, halloed by ominous clouds, is quickly being eaten up by the horizon as the duo begins to tramp through the forests. Words are scarce as they trudge, as they are more concerned with getting out of the woods and avoiding the Duchess's minions. Suddenly, some shuffling is heard from behind some dry brambles. Cheshire halts, his tail stationary in the air as his ears prick in consternation. Alice quickly whips her dagger from her thigh and cocks it in her hand in a ready stance.
Two rather obese men dressed in a red checked shirt and overalls, blunder out from behind the bushes: Tweedledee and Tweedledum…thoroughly flushed. "Oh! Excuse us!" says Tweedledee. "We didn't know we had a captive audience…" Tweedledee looks lovingly over to Tweedledum, and Tweedledum blushes. Tweedledum looks at Alice for a moment before recognition washes over his face.
"Oh, Alice!" Tweedledum says. "I can't believe it's you! I didn't know you were back in Wonderland. How long have you been back?"
"Well--" Alice begins.
"Alice, you've grown into such a little lady," Tweedledee croons over her, toying with her hair. "You're absolutely beautiful."
"Why, thank you, but--"
"Alice, my dear, do you have a little time for pleasantries?" Tweedledum asks.
"Well, actually we really must--"
"MARVELOUS!" shrieks Tweedledee in delight, as he begins to unzip his pants. "After all," Tweedledee continues to banter, "there's always time for a rousing round of pleasantries…and sometimes there's even time for two!"
Tweedledum giggles in delight. "I can't imagine how you can have enough energy after that performance back there," he says to Tweedledee with a smirk and a wink.
"SHUT! UP!" Alice finally screams in exasperation. The men immediately fall silent, their feelings obviously hurt. "It's just that…It's just that…I don't think I could bear both of you darlings at once. It would just be too much for me." Tweedledum blushes as Tweedledee nods his head with conceit. "So, can you boys just let us through and give us a little direction to the Duchess?"
Tweedledee sighs. "All right. If you keep going north, you should arrive at the Mad Hatter's place. After that it's just a little farther to the Duchess, but you might want to stop at the Caterpillar's on the way."
"Thank you," says Alice, relief flooding through her voice. "Goodbye, boys."
As Alice begins walking in the given direction with Cheshire by her side, she hears a voice behind her, "Humph. She's not nearly as much fun as her mother…"
Alice quickly turns around, her face drained of all blood: "Now what the hell is that supposed--"
But they are already gone; All evidence of them is departed except for a used condom and a lingering chuckle from deep in the darkness of the woods. "Now what do you think he means by that, Cat?" she asks quietly.
"I don't know, my darling, but I have a feeling that perhaps the Caterpillar will know…Come, let us away to the Mad Hatter's."
"What would I do without you, Cheshire?" Alice asks.
"Most likely live a longer, happier life, my darling."
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The Duchess sits upon on her bejeweled, crimson thrown, a scowl waltzing across her face. Her fat seems to have almost expanded the limits of her doughy flesh, her whole body seemingly imploded on itself. She has beady, black eyes, taking in her surroundings with a malicious air. Her palace is made of ebony alabaster and blood red marble. It is a black structure, tiered and covered in inky gingerbread. It is a colossal tower of Victorian details and metal palisades, seeming to swallow and gulp at the vaults of heaven.
"That little Bitch!" the Duchess screams across the grand hall. "How dare she have the temerity to come back to my land!" She gives another ear splitting screech. The looking glass resting upon her enormous lap begins to haze with mists. In a rage she throws the glass toward a servant cowering in a corner, and it ruptures into infinitum. "KNAVE! KNAVE!"
In from a pair of gilt double doors in the back of the hall bustles the Knave Soldier. He drops before the Duchess on his stomach. "Please, my precious, most exulted Duchess, how may I possibly service your needs?"
"Get Alice," the Duchess rasps. "Get her. Bring her to me. Then gut her in front of my eyes. Then hang upside down from the ceilings, and let me be showered in her blood. Get her, now."