Ok, I am so happy! I am beyond happy, I am ecstatic, I am just so happy that I could dance but I won't because I was unfortunately blessed with having two left feet! Well, sorry if I'm scaring anyone but I got a review, thank you so so SO much! I feel so loved! Gosh, I am a little too happy, no I haven't been doing anything drug related but I'm sure if I could fly over the cuckoo's nest, I would. Gosh I haven't read that book I'm gonna need to! Ok I'll stop trying to act like a psycho-maniac person and get on with the story!
"Ewwwww, disgusting!" cried Trisana suddenly from nowhere. Legolas fell from Ariel's arms as she opened her eyes. The minty-fresh breath had disappeared from her mouth.
"Da*mit," she said, "I mean gosh darn it!" (For those people who don't like hearing swears), "only a dream!" Ariel looked down to see what she was holding. The sight filled her with horror when she realized WHAT she had mistaken Legolas for. She was repulsed beyond repulsiveness.
"Ewwwww!!!!!!!!!!" she cried as tears rolled down her cheeks. She was partly crying from being so stunned and the rest of her tears were the result of the despicable sight that lay in her arms, bracing itself against her grasp.
"Oh my good God and Cream cheese," she cried out in dismay, "GIMLI!"
She let go of the dwarf and pushed harshly away. Her arms that clung to his fat little waste had seemed to freeze and she found it hard to move. Pure disgust was on her face as well as surprise and nausea (of course). Gimli didn't look much better. Rather pale actually, and he wore the same expression as Ariel on his solemn face.
No words were spoken then and everything moved as though in another dimension, mechanically and unwavering. Ariel went to the bathroom and began a heimlich maneuver on herself while she expectorate. After about five minutes of this, Ariel could be heard banging her head against the wall once again. This time, she was rehearsing 'The Raven' by Edgar Allen Poe.
"Come on Ariel, Gimli isn't that bad," Trisana called in through the locked door. Gimli was running around the room as though he'd run into a knife many times. He wore an expression now between a hurt puppy and a snail (if snails indeed had expressions to express). But I will not linger on what a snail, or my picture of what a snail looks like if it expressed its emotions. Most likely, it would look kind of like the blank stares that Ariel continually gave to any individual she met or to no one in particular (most likely it was the expression she wore ninety-nine percent of the time, we will discuss the one percent in due course). Well anyway, Gimli had the expression of a snail written clearly upon his face. This was rather amazing because Gimli always looked like a bum that had been on the streets far too long. For him to have any expression at all was altogether remarkable.
"Come on, please Ariel, come out!" cried Trisana again.
"Never more!" she cried from the bathroom.
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Well, we do not need to go into detail of what happened after that mainly because I don't feel like writing about the rejected Gimli and the distressed Ariel and the disgruntled Trisana. It is a rather long a boring story that has no significant point to this little parody upon the mary-sue people of the world. All I will relate to you is that Ariel finally came out of the bathroom in a pitiful state and could not attend the meeting that Gimli had come to tell them about. It was the counsel of Elrond by the way if you did not guess (big surprise). So, Trisana went alone and managed to get into the fellowship. Don't ask how since in reality, Elrond would have rather have drowned himself in a fiery pool of hot molten lava. Oh, and Gimli was forever scarred for life.
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On the day of the departure of the company….
The whole company looked solemn and worn as though they had been driven hard with some unknown force that ceased to let go. The weight of the world rested on their shoulders and the burden of ring was also heavy upon Frodo. Of course, this was not the case with Ariel who was now obsessing about the great weight of her pack which rested heavily upon HER shoulders, never mind the fact that she had to climb up the stupid mount doom to cast the bothersome piece of crap in.
"Well, I would be alright, I guess, but that is if I see Legolas," she thought to herself remembering the dream she had. Her thoughts were abruptly cut off when she remembered the waking.
"Holy guacamole, Sam!" she said as she eyed him leaning over his pack mumbling to himself, "stop worrying about the gosh darn tuttin' rope, gosh darn it! You're driving me mad! Your never gonna use it anyway." She had been angered when Sam had been continuing his talk on how he needed a rope and that he might need it and so on and so forth and that was bull…I mean baloney.
"Oh please, what are the chances anyway," she thought partly to herself, "if worst comes to worst we'll have Legolas take off his shirt and use it as a rope. If it needs to be a very long rope than we can do with Frodo taking off his shirt or just move right down to pants and…." Once again she moved down into the depths of her strange unknown mind which no one dared to question or bother with for fear of understanding her thoughts.
"Ariel," called Trisana who was at the head of the line. She had been conversing with Aragorn and Frodo about their quest and of the dangers they did and would face.
"Yep!" Ariel called back, "What's wrong, has anyone dyed anyone's hair pink yet?"
"No," said Trisana, "that's only in fanfiction stupid! I just was saying that maybe Sam should take a rope." Trisana said this only because she had read the book and knew that a rope would at one point come in handy. Then again, she couldn't help picturing (and enjoy picturing) Sam falling off that cliff.
'Too bad he gets a rope in Lorien,' she thought to herself realizing her dreams of ever watching Sam die a terrible death only for her disgusting mind's enjoyment were crushed, 'darn.' Was all she replied.
Ariel was about to say something, most likely obnoxious and cruel on behalf of Sam but she was cut off again by a horn.
"Dude, you idiot!" she screamed at Boromir while she held her ears, "what the helk did you do that for! Are you a moron?"
"Maybe," replied Boromir, "But always I have let my horn cry at setting forth, and though thereafter we may walk in the shadows I will not go forth as a thief in the night!"
"Oh, thief my bottom!" Ariel said, " you do that once more and there'll be hell to pay, make no mistake!"
Ok, so this last scene probably isn't as funny as the making out with Gimli scene. I promise to be funnier and original next chapter and do stuff that I haven't heard yet but I believe I'm giving way to the style of the vast majority of other writers in this great world of fanfiction. Must hold strong and be original! Hey, I've already made my own grammar rules in this story so I don't see the problem in thinking up the unknown! Who knows what the sober or the crazy people can think up when put to the test? Again I apologize for this short chapter and will try to make the next one a bit longer. Review please and thanks again and a thousand times more my faithful reviewers!