Well, due to my disease where I'm so dam* impatient, I put this chapter in only because I realized I had the 'Divine right of authors' therefor, I can do whatever I want and I did such in this next chapter. Now, bear in mind that had this been a serious and not so funny story (which I hope this is, as well as this next part) I would never have even thought twice about putting it in. Please don't take this literally only if I do so tell you to, ok? Well, I'll stop jabber jawing even though it is fun and amusing…
And the kiss was strong, stronger than the two dwarves expected. When they broke for a brief second, Ariel felt her energy drawn from her and she suddenly felt the urge to kiss him again rush to her slow unyielding mind. No! She would suddenly cry from the continuos of her soul for she felt the urge to vomit all the same. The truth was that she was still unsure of what was happening and despite her attempts to define the event, she still could not fathom it. Oh the zest, the ardor for such lips to now caress hers' was inexplicable for disgust and yet passion lay in the wake.
Gimli knew of such conflicting points of views from Ariel and with this in mind, he hugged her closer to him in attempt to stop the notion. No doubt, he was a lovely kisser despite the rough manner in which he seemed to possess, one would never have known. Well, the he may very well have been a descent kisser but it was not to Ariel's knowledge for she had never been kissed before in her life. Sure there was that event with the seal at the aquarium that one time and that other time that she had started making out with her clarinet, but that was all in the past.
In conclusion, she had found that Gimli's touch and his kiss were much more exhilarating than any sea mammal. She did find, however, the seal's kiss enjoyable mainly because she could then go around school claiming that a seal kissed her. Of course, that is much besides the point of view that I am desperately trying to relate. Well, no, it wasn't nice or decent that Ariel was comparing Gimli to a seal but then again, men were so easy to compare to animals. After all, their voracious eating habbits proved so to be true, especially on Gimli's behalf, and that is again besides the unknown point in which I am attempting to make. Also, Ariel did not know this but she ate much more like the fellowship than she refused to believe.
Gimli ran up and down her neck while she started rehearsing more poetry since he seemed faintly amused by that. It seemed that she could not escape anyhow so she might as well just give up. Despite, once again, being utterly disgusted and repulsed by Gimli's display of affection, she seemed to rather enjoy it far more than she would admit to herself. She had of late, not been admitting much of anything to herself so realization was occurring slower than normal, if it was ever occurring normal at all. Now she sang a song (slightly or really very off key to be candid (I realize that I have used the adj. frank truthful too much so I felt like changing that word)
"I want chicken, I want liver!
Meow mix meow mix meow please deliver,
I want chicken I want liver…."
She naturally got bored of this by the eleventh time she sang it so then she moved on to yet another poem by Lewis Carroll:
The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might,
He did his very best to make the billows smooth and bright,
And this was very odd because it was the middle of the night.
The moon was shining sulkily because she thought the sun,
Had got no business to be there after the day was done,
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun."
The sea was wet as wet,
The sky was dry as dry,
There were no clouds to see,
For no clouds were in the sky.
The walrus and the carpenter were walking close at hand,
They wept like anything to see such quantities of sand,
If this was only cleared away they said,
It would be grand!
And so on and so forth and so on, I will not make you read the whole thing even if I wanted to be that mean and cruel. My fingers only type fifty words a minute and I don't feel like wasting my time typing something everyone should have read at one point in their lives.
Her thoughts drifted else where as she lingered in her own realm, Gimli kissing her cheek while she hummed the merry melody. Her thoughts wandered suddenly to her clarinet. What had come over her that time? What ever it was or may be it had just the same influence or attraction that Gimli was having on her right now. Oh! How she longed to feel the it in her hands, the urge to feel the greased cork as she slowly assembled it, the distasteful read in her mouth. Oh, she yearned for it suddenly and this thought had come out of spite, out of the unknown. It came so quickly that she let out a laugh.
"What is it my Lady?" whispered Gimli as he kissed her eye and whispered into it.
"I cannot do this," she cried in dismay and began to weep like a swoon cat.
"Is there someone else? Who? What has happened so suddenly that news has not reached my ears?" he said looking at her with concern as he held her steady.
"Yes, there is something… someone else," she replied not daring to look at to gaze into his eyes. She knew she would only see disappointment. Her heart pounded suddenly as the impulse to run away came to her. She stood undecided on the decision that would settle the matter. She took a step back and Gimli's grasp feel away from her. She turned and began to walk away with great speed, not looking back to the broken hearted Gimli. He had just had the disappointment of his life. Why had he even bothered to open himself up? It was his mistake no doubt and his attempt had faltered.
Gimli walked out of his hiding place, a look of saddness was worn plainly across his face. He vagely wondered who had been her significant other now that he realized there was one. Suddenly he was attacked from the back. Taken by surprise, he fell forward. Whatever had checked him to the side caught him. Gimli swung around to see whom it was and he was greeted once again by Ariel ("Big surprise about who it was, huh?" say I sarcastically). A new light shone in her colorless eyes.
"Come on, Gimmy deary!" she laughed lightheartedly, "let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing!" And with that, the two dwarves ran to their hiding place and made out and yada yada yada, this that and the other thing for the next few chapters to come.
It was also a good thing that neither one had gone back to camp since Boromir had felt the power of the clarinet and was getting um… intimate with it at that moment.
Aragorn had won the go-fish match and was now learning to play slap jack. Naturally, being the rather violent person and the big cheese of the group, he had resorted to using his dagger as his slapping hand. Things were starting to get bloody.
Sam had been kicked out of the go-fish match early in the game when he tried to take his pants off. Frodo, to everyone's surprise, was not enjoying Sam's show or the fact that he mooned everyone there in the process. He seemed to be anticipating more at the moment when Amery would be forced to remove her shirt but, to his disappointment, Aragorn refrained her. Well, perhaps it was not quite like this but this was how Trisana translated it. The good news was that all the men were running around half-naked (yes, unfortunately Sam too who desperately needed a bra). Things were going well and by the end of the day, Trisana was debating whether to teach them strip poker or to build card castles, it was a hard choose most defiantly. It was then that Legolas called out through the hubbub to her. Now, to make matters clear blunt and straight to the point, Trisana and Legolas ended up running into the woods where they found there spot already occupied by the two dwarves. At first, it was rather embarrassing and humiliating for Ariel and Gimli not to mention that Trisana was kind of repulsed. Before any explaining could be done, Legolas let go a laugh and dashed off still accompanied by Trisana. They also made out in secret for the next few chapters.
Now, back at came things were getting chaotic, not to mention that Gandalf still had not opened the door. Boromir had finished his obsene display of affection with Ariel's clarinet by which I mean he was making out with it as oppose to…well we may stop there, this is only PG-13. But when he realized that no matter how he loved the clarinet or at least the case, he would not have that love returned. He grew frustrated with that thought. That was until he eyed Amery who was listening to her Discman that also fell from the sky onto Ariel's head and dancing as obscenely as Boromir and the clarinet. Naturally one would think she was dancing to some slutty little band full of prostitutes that sound like dyeing cows or a snorkel embedded or absorbed into a very strong base. However, she was dancing to 'the sugar plum fairy' from 'The Nutcracker Sweet' yet again this knowledge being irrelevant. If she had any rhythm she would not have played to pretence off so nicely.
He led her away from the camp to find both couples making out thus occupying the space they needed. But that did not stop Boromir. He walked on till they came to a clearing where neither dwarves nor elves nor the camp was in sight.
He turned to her, looking deeply into her ice blue eyes. Sweeping her off of her feet, he kissed her romantically while she struggled to get free. Amery then resorted to hitting him over the head with Trisana's cymbals but that was still to no avail. (Let me note or wonder why in the world Amery had Trisana's cymbals in her hand in the first place? I don't know but felt like putting it there)
"Stop! Refrain yourself at once moron, you stupid flatulent excuse for a hippopotamus! (Sorry blueberry but I needed something that I found offensive) Please stop!" She cried out in dismay and shouted between kisses, "stop withhold yourself my petty man! I have already another that suits my needs more than you!"
"There is another that you have or you seek? How can this be?" he shouted to her through tears of despair. He suddenly felt mortified and out of place. And how very coincidental that the four hobbits had gone out for a stroll and walked into their meeting right at the turning point of their conversation. Stuff always seemed to happen like that for some odd reason to Boromir's horror and Amery's relief.
"Oh Sam!" she cried with tears of mirth.
Ok, I do really want reviews even if this chapter sucked. I found it amusing to write but then again I may be going mad! Tell me what you think of it so far. I know that some people said I should continue but that's only my dear friend Dancingqueen and Blueberry who don't count because they would never say that it was worse than loosing their lucky snorkel. Also those who did review, reviewed in, like, chapter five and stuff so they may not have the same thoughts now. R&R pretty please! Is it so funny or should I just give up trying?