10: After A Kiss
Series*
Shiine·etc*
General*
AftertheWedding*
The wind was getting stronger, I noted, because even my hair felt like it was being tossed in all directions. Once in a while Iris shivered, and so I made a coat appear for her. It took us a while before we found Cha-cha because aside from the temperature that hindered us from moving any faster, the cliff was, after all, a very large place. Some trees growing around made it a bit more difficult, too, for they blocked our view in case she was in that place.
Finally, a blonde-haired lady in a silky dress with a tinge of pinkish lavender, sat among the wildflowers and tall grasses at the edge of the cliff. She could easily be mistaken as the Goddess Queen Joan, but I recognized her even from afar.
I felt that I could not go faster than one step every two or three seconds. It was not a dramatic effect; instead, my mind was slowing me down through all the thoughts that raced through it, aside from the small admiration that burned through me. No one could blame me, Cha-cha's a princess...a very beautiful princess at that...
...Is this really Cha-cha, after all these years? Am I finally going to meet her once more? What will happen next? What will I do when I approach her? What will I say? What if things go wrong?
Before I could even make progress in getting closer to her, I heard a very soft rustle of leaves, soft as it may be, it was a distinct sound that caught my attention. I sensed the presence of an animal...
Now I stopped in my tracks, completely frozen. Not a strand of hair on my head moved, I was sure of it, as I watched a young man about my age walk towards her too. He made no noise at all in the same way I was perfectly still.
I surveyed the man making his way towards Cha-cha. His shoulders were very broad, and were covered by a white shirt which showed a light touch of dirt on it. On him also was a pair of brown pants and black boots. The length and color of his hair did not change. A small fang seemed to glint from one side of his mouth. It was perfectly in place, and that was the last thing I needed to make sure I was thinking of the right person -- only one word repeated through my head.
Riiya.
Although I couldn't believe it, I knew it was him.
Suzu and I watched in silence, and waited for the events to fall into place. (Iris wasn't interested in the incident, and so she kept herself busy by looking for flowers and butterflies.) We already had an idea what would happen, and I, if not the two of us, was probably too stupefied to pull myself together and interrupt the inevitable. I could do nothing about it, and I knew I had no right to intervene. It was basic instinct mixed with heartache.
...Coming closer...
...and closer...
Until he was right behind her. For a second I wondered why he still didn't reveal himself to her.
He raised his hand to the right side of her cheek and pulled her closer to him. Unconsciously, my hand hardened into a fist.
Cha-cha looked worried all over, and then Riiya put his finger over her lips. I wasn't thinking of the possibility that I could have been the one doing that to her, and instead, all I did was watch. My reaction remained in the motion of my hand and fingers.
...Closer...
...Closer...
...And they kissed.
I was just dazed and confused and by what I had just seen. Suddenly becoming weak all over, I leaned on Suzu for support and tried to move away from them as far as possible. We stopped when we were at the other side of the cliff.
"Do you want me to bring you to the castle?" Suzu asked worriedly.
"N-no... I...just...want...to be left...alone..."
She complied at once and went to Iris, who had been curiously staring at the two of us, wondering what the unpaintable look on my face meant. She made her forget about me for the moment by convincing her to practice magic once again.
Kneeling on the grass and down to her level, she watched with extreme understanding and at the same time enthusiasm as Iris tried very hard to repeat her first magic trick. It was hard for her to focus on my little sister, though, because she was also worrying about me. Occasionally, she threw looks of concern in my direction.
I finally saw that beauty and grace she possessed deep inside her pink kimono, and felt that same feeling when I first saw Cha-cha at Teacher Dorothy's castle many years ago.
No, it was something else, something even more than that. My heart skipped a beat, then another... Until my mind started racing again. Despite that, it was as if I could touch with my fingertips a mysterious serenity within. From it I felt the warmth she had for me as we've grown closer together. For such a long time I had called her my best friend, but now I realized that my feelings for her were more than that.
Her message to me during the opening remarks...the dance with her at the dress up booth...our conversation on the grass...her visits everyday...the way she scolded me like my mother...how she held me just moments ago when I was too weak to stand straight...all those scenes flashed quickly through me.
Did I really like her from the very beginning?
Seeing Cha-cha and Riiya was proof that I had accepted the two of them as a couple and there was nothing I could do about it. The fact that I was not as devastated and pained upon seeing them kiss was the confirmation that I had gotten over her...which, in fact, might have happened ever since I left Mochi-Mochi Mountain. I couldn't tell.
I asked myself once more. Did I really like her from the very beginning?
Iris had just hopped on her broom and flew back to the castle. Maybe Suzu told her to go back.
But she shouldn't have flown back by herself...
Somehow I didn't think about the danger of Iris being all alone, and simply waited for her to walk up to me.
I wanted her to walk up to me, and stay by my side, even if took all day.
"Feeling better?" she asked me.
I did not answer. I acted as if my mind was far away, but in truth, I suddenly felt uncomfortable having her around, and found out that it now took much effort not to blush.
"Look, I know how you feel," she said.
"You sure you know how I feel?"
"Maybe..."
"Then you're not sure..."
"You... could have been in Riiya's place, you know..."
"Unless I have other reasons..."
My voice dropped into a whisper. My heart beat its strongest, commanding me to act at once. Trembling fiercely, I reached out to her face, caressed it, then brought her near. We were both in a trance. My eyes were forever on hers, hers forever on mine.
I closed my eyes and finally gave her a kiss.
"...L-like this?"
An almost eternal silence ensued. Suddenly, Suzu snapped back into reality and gave me a shove.
"What did you do that for?" Suzu asked, trying to keep her voice steady. It was no use, anyway. "Don't you dare use me just because you just saw Cha-cha and Riiya together!"
She was on the verge of running away, but fortunately I held on to her arms tightly.
I looked at her straight in the eye. I knew this was going to be really difficult.
"Listen to me, Suzu. First of all, I am not using you. I've had feelings for you ever since you've called me your best friend...or maybe even long before that. I was reluctant to react the least bit... b-because...
I took in a deep breath, and exhaled the words.
" I... I love you.
"And even though it's arrogant of me to assume, I know that you came with me to this cliff knowing that you might get hurt instead of me, and I appreciate risking your feelings for me.
"If it isn't true, then tell me why you didn't stop me as soon as I kissed you..."
Suzu didn't pull away this time. She didn't even blink. I couldn't tell whether she had gone completely numb, or she was too stunned to say anything.
I understood why. It wasn't like me at all to be this bold and straightforward.
As the silence lengthened, I knew she had to say something. "Please, Suzu, talk to me..."
Still silence.
I gave up, let go of her, and started to walk away. "I'm sorry if I've acted so weird..."
Suddenly, her cold arms pulled me back. Then she turned away.
"I-I don't know how to react to everything you've said. I'm sorry I was too presumptious...I probably wasn't thinking clearly...and I'm...I'm...flattered when you said that you...you love me..."
She bit her lip, and I looked at her in the eye as if to tell her to go on.
She took a deep breath. "Your assumption, unlike mine, was correct, though, but I thought this would just remain a dream because I know how strong your feelings are--"
"Were," I said.
A dash of pink appeared on her cheeks. Her lips curved up in the smallest way, and her eyes trailed somewhere else. It was my turn to speak.
"Ever since I left Mochi-Mochi Mountain, I already felt that my dream of being with Cha-cha would remain a dream, like yours, because of Riiya...and I soon realized that...well, never mind..."
I wrapped my arms around her, as the breeze became a strong wind, and we sat down under the shade of a tree. Her head rested on my shoulder, and I ran fingers through her hair from time to time. It never crossed our minds to go down the cliff throughout the afternoon. All we did was enjoy the silence around, and each other's company, until the sun set before us.
"I love you, Shiine..."
"I love you, Suzu..."
* Owari! I hope you liked it
postscript
* Do you know that pic of Kenshin and Kaoru (Rurouni Kenshin) under the three, playing with the birds and everything? I want you to imagine that in the last scene. Don't worry, I'll try to sketch something when I can.
APotBiB © iced*