Broken By You
By Lady_Allure (Allure_chan)
You know I don't own Star Wars. As for the song, it belongs to Jordan Knight, just barrowing both for the ficcie. ENJOY!
Note: This is the first Star Wars fic I've written, hope u like. Much thanks goes out to my Imuoto-chan Dreama Tsuki for being a pre-reader.
~First lonely night
What will I do~
Anakin Skywalker, now known as Darth Vader, the newest Apprentice to Darth Sidious, stared out the window of the Nubian house he and his wife Padme' shared, watching the sun disappear over the lake. The place was just as he had left it, only she wasn't there. Her things were gone, and he knew she had left him. He didn't need the force to know that. He couldn't feel her presence, even as he approached Naboo; she was so far away from him.
~I feel my heart breaking in two
I'm such a fool when will I learn~
His heart ached, overwhelming to the point of madness. This couldn't be happening. Padme' wouldn't leave him; she would come back, wouldn't she? He was still her husband after all. It didn't matter that he gave into his temptation to the dark side; she would still love him, wouldn't she?
What a foolish thought. He knew the answer; she loved Anakin, not Vader. No matter how much denial he was in, Padme' was gone, and she wouldn't come back to him, not now. Yoda had been right about him all along, and it was something he didn't want to admit. Why didn't he considered her before he gave into the dark side, why didn't he think?
~I fell so deep~
Padme' was an angel to him, the most beautiful creature in the universe. With warm brown eyes, long brown hair, high cheek bones, full lips, she was perfect. That's what she looked like when he first set eyes on her in Watto's shop. She was always an angel to him. Not one day went by that he didn't think about her during his training. Every thought and dream made him fall more in love with her, if that was possible, since she already had his heart to begin with.
"Many things will change when we reach the capital, but my caring for you will remain." Her words echoed though his mind.
They had been kids then, but when he saw her again, ten years later, nothing had changed, except that she had grown into a beautiful woman, and he a young man, still in love with her. He didn't hesitate to make that obvious either. It was making her realize she felt the same which took some time. Time didn't matter, he waited for her, and she finally gave in to her feelings.
"I love you." She had told him, words that he would never forget.
~Then I got burned~
It was forbidden for a Jedi to fall in love, but Anakin didn't care, he defied the Jedi Order, and secretly married her. They couldn't force him not to love her. Why should he give up the love of his life to be a Jedi Knight? If they found out he had a wife it wouldn't matter, he would have given up being a Jedi just to be with her.
Not only did he defy the council, but he gave up being a Jedi the wrong way by joining the sith. He did so much for Padme', but for what? Just to lose her by losing himself. Everything he did just so they could be together was for nothing.
~If you gave just one reason why
My heart just might let go~
There had to be a real reason why she left. Padme' wasn't the kind of woman who would just disappear without a reason. He may be Darth Vader now, but a part of him was still Anakin Skywalker, even if that part was very faint. If she could look him in the eye and tell him she didn't love him anymore, then maybe he could let her go, and forget about her.
~Maybe one day I will fall in love again
But for now I'll just leave my heart in two~
To really embrace the dark side, he would have to stop loving Padme', but that was something he just couldn't do, no matter how hard he tried. His heart would always belong to her, and to feel this pain of not being with her was unreal.
~If I never fall in love again
If I never touch your skin again~
Anakin had fallen in love with Padme', but where did that leave Vader. Maybe he was two in one. Anakin was the good side of him, Vader the dark side. Vader wouldn't fall in love that was for sure. Anakin had, but Vader wouldn't, not with another woman. That was out of the question.
He lifted a fist into the air, suddenly interested in the black glove. The set of black gloves covered his hands, covered the mechanic implant to his right arm. Thinking about her made him realize something, he couldn't touch her again, feel her again. The gloves were a restraint from feeling her softness, her warmth. Her skin was so soft, like Nubian flowers, smooth like the Mountain lakes. If she were here now, what would she say to him? What would she think? Her husband was a former shadow of himself.
~If I never feel again this way
If I never see another day~
Anakin knew love and Padme' was the only woman for him. He would never feel that way for anyone else. She was the only one who he had eyes for. As for Vader, love was something he wasn't sure he knew anymore. His eyes were covered with lenses, and he couldn't see the sunlight as it should be. How could he look at her with his own eyes?
~Remember me
Remember this~
Vader had once been Anakin, and he wanted Padme' to remember him like that. They had made so many memories together. Her kiss still lingered on his lips, and the touch of her hand, holding his. So many memories he would have to forget just to be a true Sith lord? He may have to forget, but he didn't want her too. She had to keep those memories. Remember the man she had married, one who would have done anything just to make her happy.
~'Cause one thing that will never change
Is the feeling in my heart~
Even if he was Darth Vader now, Anakin would always remember the love that he and Padme' shared. Love her he did, but it couldn't change who he was now. Anakin was who he used to be, and that is who she loved. Not this man who hid his true self behind a black sith cloak.
~So broken by you~
Vader had come to the Planet of Naboo in hope of seeing his wife again, but she had left him, and it was a fact that he had to deal with. No matter how angry and hurt he was, he knew she wouldn't accept him. He could plead with her, tell her he still loved her, but she wouldn't come with him. Anakin wouldn't hurt her, and neither would Vader. He could feel tears stinging his eyes, but he forced them back. He was a half the man he used to be.
~Love still remains, after you're gone
Girl please explain where did I go wrong~
Even if he was Darth Vader, he still felt the love Anakin had for her. She may be far away from him, but she was always on his mind.
Had she been here when he returned, he could have asked her so many questions. Why did he turn away from Obi-Wan and Yoda? Why did he leave her? If his love was enough, why was the dark side so tempting. Where did he make the choice of choosing the dark side over Padme'? How could he do such a thing to her? He could ask himself that a thousand times, and it would always be the same answer. He had no patience.
~I can't let go~
"Anakin." Her soft voice echoed through the living room. Vader knew she wasn't really there it was just in his mind. If she had been there, he would have said something, anything to prove he still wanted her by his side.
Anakin was still a part of him, and he couldn't let that part go. Padme' would always bring the good side out of him. It was a fact, not a question. She would always love Anakin, and he her. Vader would always remember what they had, and if it was possible, he loved her too.
~If you gave just one reason why
My heart just might let go~
Someday he might be able to truly embrace the dark side like his master, Darth Sidious, and yet he couldn't. Padme' always kept him in check, even if she didn't know it. If he ever saw her again, maybe she would tell him why. Did he really want to know?
~Maybe one day I will fall in love again~
If he saw her again, he would say or do anything to have her come back to him. All she had to do was ask.
~Maybe one day I will fall in love again~
If he saw her again, he would do all he could to prove he still loved her.
~Maybe one day I will fall in love again~
If he tried finding her, he just might leave the sith, and try to be the man he was. For her, he would try. Try to be the Jedi he was meant to be. They could go far away, and build a life together.
~No, never fall in love again
Never pass this way again~
Vader bowed his head, placing a hand on the wall, leaning against it, trying to steady himself. What was he thinking? He couldn't be that man, not for Obi-wan, not for Yoda, not even for her. He had gone too far, done too much, to the point of no return. He was Darth Vader, lord of the sith. Anakin Skywalker was a mere memory, just like she was. He was no longer a Jedi.
~Never, never, never~
It was too late for him. He had done things he couldn't take back.
~Won't fall in love again
Never fall in love again~
He couldn't love her like he once did. She could never forgive the things he did. It was too much for him to bear. Her eyes would always see what he had become, not for who he once was. He had hurt her too much by leaving her in the first place. Something he shouldn't have done.
~Never pass this way again~
Anakin wasn't who he was anymore, that name had no meaning for him. It was his former self, someone who was a good person. Not like him, a person twisted by the dark side. She could bring him back to the light side, and he couldn't allow that. He was who he was, and maybe someday, he would change, right now, he couldn't.
~Never, never, never~
He couldn't be with her, not if he wanted to protect her, keep her from harm. Maybe it was a good thing that she left. The Jedi would take care of her, whereas he couldn't. They knew what kind of man he was now, and she needed protection from him. Her husband was gone, and they knew it. It was the will of the force.
Whatever that will was he had to keep his distance from her, no matter how much he hated the idea. He was a Sith lord now, and he had his duties to perform. The rise of the Empire was near, and he had things to do. Not live in the past.
~Won't fall in love again~
She was out there someone, and he could only hope she was safe. He could not go to her, no matter how much he wanted to.
~Never had my heart broken by you~
Vader stood up straight, and began walking towards the door, not glancing at the place. The house was part of his past, just as his wife was. It had no place for him anymore. He had come to Naboo one last time to say good- bye to her, but she was not here. They still had so much to say to one another. Now it was too late, he had made his choice and he couldn't go back on his word.
He walked as slowly as he could, lingering the moment, so he wouldn't be so quick to leave the beautiful planet and go back to Corusaunt. Out of instinct, he turned, and took one last look at the house, ignoring the pain in his chest.
"Padme'…………" Vader's voice trailed off, wanting to say the words of love, but he couldn't say them. They were words only Anakin could say.
Tears formed in his eyes, as he looked away. 'I love you.' Anakin said silently as he made his was to the ship, letting the last of his tears fall.
~ I'll just leave my heart in two~
By Lady_Allure (Allure_chan)
You know I don't own Star Wars. As for the song, it belongs to Jordan Knight, just barrowing both for the ficcie. ENJOY!
Note: This is the first Star Wars fic I've written, hope u like. Much thanks goes out to my Imuoto-chan Dreama Tsuki for being a pre-reader.
~First lonely night
What will I do~
Anakin Skywalker, now known as Darth Vader, the newest Apprentice to Darth Sidious, stared out the window of the Nubian house he and his wife Padme' shared, watching the sun disappear over the lake. The place was just as he had left it, only she wasn't there. Her things were gone, and he knew she had left him. He didn't need the force to know that. He couldn't feel her presence, even as he approached Naboo; she was so far away from him.
~I feel my heart breaking in two
I'm such a fool when will I learn~
His heart ached, overwhelming to the point of madness. This couldn't be happening. Padme' wouldn't leave him; she would come back, wouldn't she? He was still her husband after all. It didn't matter that he gave into his temptation to the dark side; she would still love him, wouldn't she?
What a foolish thought. He knew the answer; she loved Anakin, not Vader. No matter how much denial he was in, Padme' was gone, and she wouldn't come back to him, not now. Yoda had been right about him all along, and it was something he didn't want to admit. Why didn't he considered her before he gave into the dark side, why didn't he think?
~I fell so deep~
Padme' was an angel to him, the most beautiful creature in the universe. With warm brown eyes, long brown hair, high cheek bones, full lips, she was perfect. That's what she looked like when he first set eyes on her in Watto's shop. She was always an angel to him. Not one day went by that he didn't think about her during his training. Every thought and dream made him fall more in love with her, if that was possible, since she already had his heart to begin with.
"Many things will change when we reach the capital, but my caring for you will remain." Her words echoed though his mind.
They had been kids then, but when he saw her again, ten years later, nothing had changed, except that she had grown into a beautiful woman, and he a young man, still in love with her. He didn't hesitate to make that obvious either. It was making her realize she felt the same which took some time. Time didn't matter, he waited for her, and she finally gave in to her feelings.
"I love you." She had told him, words that he would never forget.
~Then I got burned~
It was forbidden for a Jedi to fall in love, but Anakin didn't care, he defied the Jedi Order, and secretly married her. They couldn't force him not to love her. Why should he give up the love of his life to be a Jedi Knight? If they found out he had a wife it wouldn't matter, he would have given up being a Jedi just to be with her.
Not only did he defy the council, but he gave up being a Jedi the wrong way by joining the sith. He did so much for Padme', but for what? Just to lose her by losing himself. Everything he did just so they could be together was for nothing.
~If you gave just one reason why
My heart just might let go~
There had to be a real reason why she left. Padme' wasn't the kind of woman who would just disappear without a reason. He may be Darth Vader now, but a part of him was still Anakin Skywalker, even if that part was very faint. If she could look him in the eye and tell him she didn't love him anymore, then maybe he could let her go, and forget about her.
~Maybe one day I will fall in love again
But for now I'll just leave my heart in two~
To really embrace the dark side, he would have to stop loving Padme', but that was something he just couldn't do, no matter how hard he tried. His heart would always belong to her, and to feel this pain of not being with her was unreal.
~If I never fall in love again
If I never touch your skin again~
Anakin had fallen in love with Padme', but where did that leave Vader. Maybe he was two in one. Anakin was the good side of him, Vader the dark side. Vader wouldn't fall in love that was for sure. Anakin had, but Vader wouldn't, not with another woman. That was out of the question.
He lifted a fist into the air, suddenly interested in the black glove. The set of black gloves covered his hands, covered the mechanic implant to his right arm. Thinking about her made him realize something, he couldn't touch her again, feel her again. The gloves were a restraint from feeling her softness, her warmth. Her skin was so soft, like Nubian flowers, smooth like the Mountain lakes. If she were here now, what would she say to him? What would she think? Her husband was a former shadow of himself.
~If I never feel again this way
If I never see another day~
Anakin knew love and Padme' was the only woman for him. He would never feel that way for anyone else. She was the only one who he had eyes for. As for Vader, love was something he wasn't sure he knew anymore. His eyes were covered with lenses, and he couldn't see the sunlight as it should be. How could he look at her with his own eyes?
~Remember me
Remember this~
Vader had once been Anakin, and he wanted Padme' to remember him like that. They had made so many memories together. Her kiss still lingered on his lips, and the touch of her hand, holding his. So many memories he would have to forget just to be a true Sith lord? He may have to forget, but he didn't want her too. She had to keep those memories. Remember the man she had married, one who would have done anything just to make her happy.
~'Cause one thing that will never change
Is the feeling in my heart~
Even if he was Darth Vader now, Anakin would always remember the love that he and Padme' shared. Love her he did, but it couldn't change who he was now. Anakin was who he used to be, and that is who she loved. Not this man who hid his true self behind a black sith cloak.
~So broken by you~
Vader had come to the Planet of Naboo in hope of seeing his wife again, but she had left him, and it was a fact that he had to deal with. No matter how angry and hurt he was, he knew she wouldn't accept him. He could plead with her, tell her he still loved her, but she wouldn't come with him. Anakin wouldn't hurt her, and neither would Vader. He could feel tears stinging his eyes, but he forced them back. He was a half the man he used to be.
~Love still remains, after you're gone
Girl please explain where did I go wrong~
Even if he was Darth Vader, he still felt the love Anakin had for her. She may be far away from him, but she was always on his mind.
Had she been here when he returned, he could have asked her so many questions. Why did he turn away from Obi-Wan and Yoda? Why did he leave her? If his love was enough, why was the dark side so tempting. Where did he make the choice of choosing the dark side over Padme'? How could he do such a thing to her? He could ask himself that a thousand times, and it would always be the same answer. He had no patience.
~I can't let go~
"Anakin." Her soft voice echoed through the living room. Vader knew she wasn't really there it was just in his mind. If she had been there, he would have said something, anything to prove he still wanted her by his side.
Anakin was still a part of him, and he couldn't let that part go. Padme' would always bring the good side out of him. It was a fact, not a question. She would always love Anakin, and he her. Vader would always remember what they had, and if it was possible, he loved her too.
~If you gave just one reason why
My heart just might let go~
Someday he might be able to truly embrace the dark side like his master, Darth Sidious, and yet he couldn't. Padme' always kept him in check, even if she didn't know it. If he ever saw her again, maybe she would tell him why. Did he really want to know?
~Maybe one day I will fall in love again~
If he saw her again, he would say or do anything to have her come back to him. All she had to do was ask.
~Maybe one day I will fall in love again~
If he saw her again, he would do all he could to prove he still loved her.
~Maybe one day I will fall in love again~
If he tried finding her, he just might leave the sith, and try to be the man he was. For her, he would try. Try to be the Jedi he was meant to be. They could go far away, and build a life together.
~No, never fall in love again
Never pass this way again~
Vader bowed his head, placing a hand on the wall, leaning against it, trying to steady himself. What was he thinking? He couldn't be that man, not for Obi-wan, not for Yoda, not even for her. He had gone too far, done too much, to the point of no return. He was Darth Vader, lord of the sith. Anakin Skywalker was a mere memory, just like she was. He was no longer a Jedi.
~Never, never, never~
It was too late for him. He had done things he couldn't take back.
~Won't fall in love again
Never fall in love again~
He couldn't love her like he once did. She could never forgive the things he did. It was too much for him to bear. Her eyes would always see what he had become, not for who he once was. He had hurt her too much by leaving her in the first place. Something he shouldn't have done.
~Never pass this way again~
Anakin wasn't who he was anymore, that name had no meaning for him. It was his former self, someone who was a good person. Not like him, a person twisted by the dark side. She could bring him back to the light side, and he couldn't allow that. He was who he was, and maybe someday, he would change, right now, he couldn't.
~Never, never, never~
He couldn't be with her, not if he wanted to protect her, keep her from harm. Maybe it was a good thing that she left. The Jedi would take care of her, whereas he couldn't. They knew what kind of man he was now, and she needed protection from him. Her husband was gone, and they knew it. It was the will of the force.
Whatever that will was he had to keep his distance from her, no matter how much he hated the idea. He was a Sith lord now, and he had his duties to perform. The rise of the Empire was near, and he had things to do. Not live in the past.
~Won't fall in love again~
She was out there someone, and he could only hope she was safe. He could not go to her, no matter how much he wanted to.
~Never had my heart broken by you~
Vader stood up straight, and began walking towards the door, not glancing at the place. The house was part of his past, just as his wife was. It had no place for him anymore. He had come to Naboo one last time to say good- bye to her, but she was not here. They still had so much to say to one another. Now it was too late, he had made his choice and he couldn't go back on his word.
He walked as slowly as he could, lingering the moment, so he wouldn't be so quick to leave the beautiful planet and go back to Corusaunt. Out of instinct, he turned, and took one last look at the house, ignoring the pain in his chest.
"Padme'…………" Vader's voice trailed off, wanting to say the words of love, but he couldn't say them. They were words only Anakin could say.
Tears formed in his eyes, as he looked away. 'I love you.' Anakin said silently as he made his was to the ship, letting the last of his tears fall.
~ I'll just leave my heart in two~