So they're back.
Things seem sort of the same. Business as usual.
Something's strange, though.
Like, off.
I can't quite put my finger on it but I have this weird feeling that Spike isn't going to be around for very long. I think this Julia thing has hit him pretty hard. I don't think he's going to be alright.
I mean, at first I thought he'd be miserable for a fews days and then he'd slowly return to normal. But there's a fermenting behind all of his smiles. Like something's gone bad. Something inside him is broken.
And Faye.
He's usually pretty rotten to Faye but there seems to be more of a fierceness there. Something vehement. He seems to really want to hurt her for some reason. Not that it concerns me terribly. I have a soft spot for the woman, too, but she can grate on the nerves in record time. But what's the deal? Is it because she's not the woman he just lost?
I wondered the other day if he should be left alone. I can see now why Faye didn't want to leave him in the hospital by himself.
I think he wants the ending he got robbed of. The ending where he dies bloody and heart-shattered and avenged and lovesick. All the elements of his life thrown up in the air and scattered like rice at a wedding. They strike at his flesh like shards of glass, taking bits of him with them as they tumble to the ground. He's ripped to shreds and whatever he believes is inside him, his soul or whatever the fuck, is free to leave.
What the hell is he going to do now? I always figured that part of Spike's reason for partnering up with me was to travel and perhaps find Julia. Or kill Vicious.
Julia's dead now. And Vicious with her. All his plans down the toilet.
I wonder sometimes if Spike would have ever gotten married. Like, found Julia and destroyed all his ties to his shitty past and got married at some city hall somewhere. Spike doesn't believe in God. Would he have kids? He's a giant child himself.
What pisses me off most about all this is knowing that he would have just left. He was with me for all that time but he was ready to leave and never look back. I would have never seen him again. It bothers me that he would be okay with that.
Shit, I whine too much.
Things seem sort of the same. Business as usual.
Something's strange, though.
Like, off.
I can't quite put my finger on it but I have this weird feeling that Spike isn't going to be around for very long. I think this Julia thing has hit him pretty hard. I don't think he's going to be alright.
I mean, at first I thought he'd be miserable for a fews days and then he'd slowly return to normal. But there's a fermenting behind all of his smiles. Like something's gone bad. Something inside him is broken.
And Faye.
He's usually pretty rotten to Faye but there seems to be more of a fierceness there. Something vehement. He seems to really want to hurt her for some reason. Not that it concerns me terribly. I have a soft spot for the woman, too, but she can grate on the nerves in record time. But what's the deal? Is it because she's not the woman he just lost?
I wondered the other day if he should be left alone. I can see now why Faye didn't want to leave him in the hospital by himself.
I think he wants the ending he got robbed of. The ending where he dies bloody and heart-shattered and avenged and lovesick. All the elements of his life thrown up in the air and scattered like rice at a wedding. They strike at his flesh like shards of glass, taking bits of him with them as they tumble to the ground. He's ripped to shreds and whatever he believes is inside him, his soul or whatever the fuck, is free to leave.
What the hell is he going to do now? I always figured that part of Spike's reason for partnering up with me was to travel and perhaps find Julia. Or kill Vicious.
Julia's dead now. And Vicious with her. All his plans down the toilet.
I wonder sometimes if Spike would have ever gotten married. Like, found Julia and destroyed all his ties to his shitty past and got married at some city hall somewhere. Spike doesn't believe in God. Would he have kids? He's a giant child himself.
What pisses me off most about all this is knowing that he would have just left. He was with me for all that time but he was ready to leave and never look back. I would have never seen him again. It bothers me that he would be okay with that.
Shit, I whine too much.