Title: Never Been Kissed: A different story (4/13)

Part Four: Party Night

Author: Jaycee

Disclaimer: Not mine and they never will be. Sam Coulson, Josie Geller and the whole gang of NBK are the properties of Flower Films and their affiliates. Okay? Get it? No suing please! I have no money!

Summary: Sam didn't kiss Josie on the pitcher's mound and two years later, they meet again.

Rating: G to PG – depends on the chapter really.

Author's note: Please read and review. I've posted this story in my stories. Com portfolio but I thought that to encourage more people to read and write more NBK stuff, I should post it here. Me posting the next chapters will totally depend on the reviews I get. Okay? Have fun reading!

P.S. Here it is! Chapter Four! Again thank you for all you peeps reading this… and most especially to the person who never fails to review each and every chapter. You know who you are, I just wish that I can remember the name that you're using… it has something to do with eyes, I know… ahh! You know who you are! I hope that you guys will continue reading!

The Dilemma – again, I got that piece from Carol's fan fic, Sam's awakening. I used that with permission from her.

Josie looked at herself in front of the mirror. It was the night of Merkin's birthday party, and in just thirty minutes, Gus and Anita would be here, fetching her. Mark decided not to go, since he doesn't really like Merkin and besides, he has some work to do. Josie was just fine with that. She doesn't want to hang out with Mark tonight anyway.

All she wants to do is have senseless fun with her friends, and to tell Anita everything. She had a rough day. And that was the understatement of the century.

She still couldn't believe that Sam was here; again, back here in Chicago, and to make matters worst, he was going to get married. Already! She had to tell Anita everything, for advice. She hasn't even talked to her brother yet, and she knows that he can give her advice too. Even though he's two years younger than her, he's very wise and was always ready to give her a hand.

Josie decided to let her hair stay down for the night, curled at the ends, framing her face. She had light make up on and decided to wear her new pair of leather pants for the night. It was a night for senseless fun, after all. She stood up and wore her pants. She paired it off with a blue sleeveless top, designed with butterflies, and was tied at the back.

She looked at the mirror and was surprised to see the sexy side of her come out. She decided to wear her black leather jacket over her top, since she knows that she can never wear the sleeveless top all night. Grabbing her handbag and her gift for Merkin, she heard Gus beeping his horn outside her apartment.

She quickly stepped into her new black strappy sandals to finish her ensemble and hurried out. She saw Gus' black Sedan and opened the back door. Climbing in, she said, "Hey guys! Thanks for coming to fetch me!" "Hey Jos! That's okay! We're happy to do it. You look great tonight! Planning to hook up with some guys tonight?" Anita asked, turning around to look at her friend at the backseat.

Gus looked at his wife and frowned at the thought of Josie hooking up with guys. "Anita, stop it! You know that Josie has a boyfriend." Gus said, as he turned right on the freeway. "Yah Anita! Stop it! I'm not planning to 'hook up' with guys tonight. I just thought that I should wear this since its been sitting in my closet for a very long time." Josie explained, a look of exasperation on her face.

"Okay, okay! I'll shut up. So where's Mark?" she asked, as she straightened up in her chair since they were fastly approaching the Delloser Club. "Oh, he's not coming. He has tons of work to do. You know Mark." She answered as she smoothed out her hair. "Yup! I know Mark. I don't know what you're still doing with him, Josie." Gus said, a frown again showing on his face. 

"Gus, we've been through this. I love Mark. Okay?" Josie said, as she grimaced. "Whatever you say, Josie." Gus said then dropped the subject. He didn't like Mark, he has this reputation of being a womanizer and he knew that even if he was with Josie, that didn't stop his stupid ways of playing around. He has told Josie all about it but she didn't believe him, saying that those are just rumors. He shook his head and hoped that Josie won't get hurt in the future. He parked the car right in front of the Club then all three got out.

* * * Sam ordered a round of beers for his friends. They were now here in the Delloser Club, at the top floor, besides the railing, due to his best friend Jonathan's incessant pestering. He didn't want to go there since the place reminded him so much of Josie and her spunky dance two years ago.  But as Jon said, he should just forget about Josie, since she has obviously forgotten about him.

Sam sighed as he listened to his friends chattering. Jonathan brought another guy with him. Aside for Jonathan, Michael Shield, his other best friend, and Scott Romano, an old friend of his who was a coach for the baseball team of South Glen South, there was a new guy with them. His name was Timothy Burke.

Apparently, Jonathan met Timothy at a party held for Timothy's sister, Cheryl, who was a friend of Jonathan's wife, Joanah. He was a nice guy, smart, and very good-looking. He has dark blond hair that was cut short and he has blue eyes. He was easy going and Sam felt an instant liking to him. "So, as I was saying, ever since Rob Geller became my Assistant Coach, everything in my team is going great." Scott was saying when Sam finally paid attention to his friend.

At the sound of Geller, Sam felt another shot of electricity shot through him since Geller is also Josie's surname. "Who is this Rob Geller, Scott?" he asked as the round of beers was brought to their table. "He's Josie Geller's brother, Sam. Josie Geller. Remember her? Apparently, Rob also pretended to be in high school that year Josie pretended to be one so that he can help his sister become popular. It worked. But still, everything backfired at the end. She wrote a great story, but her mystery guy never came." Scott explained, as he drank his beer.

Jonathan and Michael looked at Sam, their foreheads creasing in concern. They both knew who that mystery guy was, but for Sam's sake, they both didn't say a word. Not noticing any of the discomfort that Sam was having, Scott turned to talk to Timothy. "So, what do you do?" "Oh, I'm an accountant for a big company here in Chicago…." Timothy suddenly stopped, and was looking at something downstairs.

Scott frowned at Timothy and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Tim?" he said, waving his hand in front of his face. "Don't mind him Scott. He saw a woman. That's the only reason why he gets like that." Jonathan explained, creating a laugh all over the table. Tim ran his fingers through his hair and smiled sheepishly at his friends.

"Sorry you guys. I just saw this girl, and I have to meet her. She's there, at the stairs, she just came in. Look, wait for me okay. I'll see if I can bring her here." He stood up and went down to this girl that he saw. Sam smiled as he turned back to his friends to catch up in things that he has missed. 

* * * Josie showed her I.D. to the bouncer, and then proceeded inside. They saw Merkin at the other side of the club. Rhoda, his girlfriend, was already there, together with other Sun Times staffers. Josie, Gus and Anita hurriedly went to greet Merkin. "Hey, Merkin. Happy Birthday!" Josie exclaimed, handing her assistant a wrapped box, and then giving him a hug.

"Thanks boss! Welcome to my party! Have fun!" Merkin answered back, and then turned to Anita and Gus who were also greeting him. Josie sat at the bar and ordered a bottle of beer. She was looking around and saw a man, about her age, walking towards her. As he got closer, he sat on the stool beside her. "Hey! I'm Timothy Burke. You're…?" he introduced himself, smiling at her easily. "Wow! You get right to the point huh? I'm Josie. Geller." She answered, and then extended her hand.

Tim took it with a smile on his face. He was good looking, in a boyish kind of way. "Yup, I just don't like using pick up lines. To me they sound so dorky." He explained, and then ordered a bottle of beer. "Same here! But then, I haven't heard many pick up lines yet." Taking a sip of his beer, he looked at Josie in amazement.

"You, haven't heard so many pick up lines yet? Impossible! You're so beautiful and all." He said as he placed down his beer on the bar in front of them. "Well, that's so nice of you. But, yes, I haven't heard that many pick up lines in my life yet, since I don't usually go out that much." She answered, immediately liking Tim.

"You know you're name sounds so familiar! Oh, I know. My friends were just talking about you." He said, as he snapped his fingers. "Talking about me? When? Who are your friends?" she asked in confusion. "Scott Romano. Your brother's his assistant coach, right?" he said. "Oh, yes! Scott Romano. I know him." "You do? Well, um…do you want to come up for a while and say hi to him then? You can meet my other friends." He invited her, flashing an adorable grin.

Josie smiled back. "Um…how about later? I'm here coz it's my friend's birthday, and I don't want him to think that I'm abandoning his party. Come back here again later, okay?" "Oh, sure Josie. I understand. So I'll see you again later?" he asked as he stood up. "Yes. Right here. Nice to meet you Tim." She said, as she too, stood up. "Nice to meet you too, Josie." Josie waved then went back to Merkin's party.

* * * Sam saw Jonathan and Mark go down to talk to some of their friends at the bar. He turned to Scott and said, "Scott, I have to go to the bathroom. Where is Tim?" "He went down to meet the girl he likes, remember? Oh, there he is now!" Scott pointed to the stairs. "Oh, okay! Now, wait here okay." Sam stood up and went to the bathroom, smiling at Tim as they passed each other.

* * * Tim sat down and looked at Scott. "Hey, Scott, you wouldn't believe this. The girl I was telling you about, turns out, she's Josie Geller. You know? You're assistant's sister?" "Really? No way, Tim! What a small world. Where is she?" Scott asked, and then stood up to look over the railing for Josie. "She's over there at the party. She said that she would come with me here to say hi to you guys." "That's great."

"What's great?" Sam asked, as he, together with Jonathan and Matt, suddenly came up behind them. "Hey guys, you wouldn't believe this! The girl Timothy wanted to meet? She was Josie Geller!" At the time that Scott said the girl's name, loud music suddenly came from the speakers from the party downstairs.

"What? I can't hear you Scott!" Sam shouted, as he looked at the party downstairs. "Josie Geller, Sam!" Scott shouted then covered his ears with his hands, since he wasn't used to this kind of scene. Sam shook his head, and then turned to look at Timothy.

Tim stood up, and went to the railing. He pointed toward Josie. "There she is, man! The blonde who's taking off her jacket." Sam looked at the blonde, but a tall guy with curly hair, who stood behind the blonde, blocked his view. "I can't see her!" Sam exclaimed, and sat down. "Don't worry! I'm going down now so I could bring her here. Okay?" The guys nodded, as Tim walked away. 

* * * Josie took off her jacket as she sang together with Merkin's entire guests. "Happy birthday, Merkin!" she sang, as she placed her jacket on the back of the seat beside her. "Hey, Josie! Have you seen Anita?" Gus asked as he stood behind Josie. "Oh, she went to the bathroom Gus. She said for you to wait for her." She answered, and then she sat down. "Oh, thanks, Josie!" Gus answered as he walked towards the bar.

Josie smiled as she looked around. She saw Tim walking towards her. "Hey! You ready?" he asked, as he got closer. "Oh, yah! Sure!" she answered as she stood up and grabbed her jacket. Offering his hand, Tim led her towards the second floor of the club.

* * * Sam saw Timothy making his way back to their table a stunning blonde in tow. As they got closer, he saw that the blonde was Josie Geller. 'Josie? What is she doing here?' And that's not all he noticed, he noticed how sexy she looked that evening. Leather pants, sexy sleeveless top…everything about her took Sam's breath away. She was looking down that she didn't notice him.

As Tim introduced her around, he saw his two best friends looking shocked as they also realized that the girl Tim has with him was indeed Josie Geller. She shook hands with everybody and had a brief conversation with Scott about her brother. Then, it was his turn. "And lastly, Josie, this is Sam." Tim said.

Josie looked up to him in shock. "Yes…. I know him. Hey Sam." She said, her voice wavering a bit. "Hey Josie!" he greeted back and smiled at her. He couldn't believe this. Here he was, still getting over the shock of seeing Josie that afternoon, and now she was here, hanging out with his friend. And, it didn't help that she looks absolutely stunning tonight. "Really? How?" Tim asked, as he offered his seat to Josie. "Oh, I'm the one assigned to cover his wedding to Maria Rodriguez." She explained.

Jonathan and Michael looked at Sam in surprise. Sam then remembered that he hasn't told his friends about that. Smiling sheepishly at Jon and Mike, he turned towards Josie. He saw her smiling at what Tim said and he couldn't help but feel jealous…. again. "So, do you have a boyfriend, Josie?" Jon asked her as he took a sip of his beer.

"Oh, yes I do." Josie answered, and then smiled as she saw Tim's downcast expression. "Aww, I'm sorry Tim. I didn't mean to hurt you or anything.  It's just that you were so nice to me when you introduced yourself, so I came with you here." She said. She reached out a hand then rubbed Tim on his arm.

Tim smiled good-naturedly. "That's okay, Josie! I should have known anyway. Someone as wonderful as you should have a boyfriend." He said. Josie blushed at Tim's praise. "Are you going to get married anytime soon, Josie?" Matt asked her. Sam gasped at the thought of Josie marrying someone else. 'What are you thinking Sam? You're the one who's getting married before her. Shouldn't she be the one who feels what you're feeling right now?" Sam asked his himself as he finished his bottle of beer. He looked at Josie and waited for her answer.

"Oh, no! Not yet! I'm not yet ready. " She answered and then looked at Sam. Their eyes locked, longer than was necessary. Sam tried to tear his eyes away, but he couldn't. Lucky for him, Josie was the one who tore her eyes first, enabling Sam to breathe easily. Josie turned to talk to Scott about her brother, and Sam noticed how caring she is for her brother.

She asked Scott if Rob was doing his job and if he was okay with everything. "I'm planning on retiring so, I'm putting in a good word for Rob so that he'll be the coach next year." Scott said, smiling. "Really? That's so nice of you Coach Romano. Rob will be so thrilled!" she said, her eyes sparkling wonderfully as she thought about Rob's wonderful future.

"He always wanted to be a ball player. But then, he told me that being your assistant coach was much better, since he gets to help other people." "That is so true! I'll be more than happy to let Rob take over my place." Scott said. "Thank you Coach Romano!" Josie said, as she smiled at him sweetly. "You're welcome Josie. And please, call me Scott." "Okay! Thank you…Scott."

Everybody laughed as Josie said Scott's name uncertainly. Sam saw Josie look at Tim, since he hasn't said anything for a while. Jonathan saw her confused expression and said, "Oh, Josie. Don't mind him. He just saw another girl." "Oh, is that so? Am I really that easy to replace?" she asked Tim, her mouth forming into a mock pout.

Sam sucked in a breath. Even though he knows that Josie was only kidding, her question hit him so close to home. 'No, you're not easy to replace Josie. You're irreplaceable.' He thought then looked down at his hands. He sighed as he saw Tim and Josie laughing together. 'Stop thinking like that! Nothing could ever happen to you and Josie anymore. You're getting married remember?' he said to himself, but still, the knot of jealousy in his stomach wouldn't go away.

* * * Josie laughed at Tim, because obviously he has found another woman to hook up with tonight since she was unavailable. When she saw Sam with his friends, she couldn't help but think how handsome he looked that night. He was wearing a green shirt with a white t-shirt underneath. It was paired with a pair of black pants. The green of his shirt brought out his eyes more, making it sparkle even under the dim lights of the club.

 Josie sighed, wishing that she were single so that she could be with Sam. 'Wait a minute! Why am I wishing this? I have Mark and he has Maria.' She thought then went back to listen to the conversation building around her. "Hey there's a pretty woman." Tim pointed to Josie. "Oh, you mean, the woman wearing the black top and red mini skirt? I'm sorry Tim, she's married." Josie said, soothingly.

"Oh, really? How did you know?" Tim asked, his eyebrows rose. "Well, she is my best friend. Her name's Anita Brandt." Josie answered. "Oh, why am I so unlucky with girls tonight?" Tim asked his friends. "Oh, so you mean, you're so unlucky to have met me?" Josie asked playfully, her hands on her hips. "No, that's not what I meant. It's just that…you know what I mean." Tim said, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Yah, I know what you mean!" Josie said. She suddenly stood up, pointing to a guy who just came in. "Hey, that's my brother. Wait, I'll go talk to him, okay?" The guys nodded, as she went down the stairs, putting on her leather jacket, with Tim following her.

* * * "I'll just go down, you guys. There are people from South Glen's faculty down there!" Scott said as he stood up and went down. As Sam expected, his two friends bombarded him with questions. "How could you not tell us Sam? How do you feel? Do you still like Josie?" Matt asked. "Wait, better yet, do you still love Josie?" Jonathan asked.

"Oh, guys! Stop it! I just forgot to tell you. And regarding how I feel…" Sam stalled, thinking of how he should answer that question. "Well…. what?" they asked simultaneously. Sam sighed for seemed like the thousandth time that day. "I don't know guys. I really don't know." Sam said as he placed his head on his hands.

* * * Josie breathed out a sigh of relief as she made her way down the stairs to go to Rob. Being up there with Sam was very uncomfortable. Tim signaled that he's going to the bar and Josie nodded. "Hey, Rob!" Josie exclaimed, as she got closer to her brother. Rob turned around and was surprised to see his sister there.

 "Hey Josie! What are you doing here? And what is with the outfit?" He said. "Why? You don't like it?" She asked worriedly. "Actually, I do like it. It's just different from your other outfits." "Oh, I just felt like its time for a change. Anyway, where's Sarah?" she asked, referring to Rob's girlfriend. "Oh, she's at the bar with some of her friends. What are you doing here?" he asked again.

"It's Merkin's birthday. Um…Coach Romano's upstairs. He wants to talk to you." "Really? Come on, let's go up!" Rob said as he pulled Josie with him by the hand. "Rob, wait! I have to tell you something." She said, as she stopped walking, bringing Rob to a stop too. "What?" he asked, his forehead creasing worriedly. "It's just that…Sam…Coulson…is also up there." She said, pointing upwards.

Rob's face turned into a scowl at the mention of Sam's name. He can't get over the fact that that man hurt his sister. Josie placed a restraining hand at Rob's arm when she saw his scowl. "Now, Rob. I told you that so you wouldn't be surprised if you see him. Act normally okay? I know you're mad at him, but please don't make a scene here." She said. "Okay! I won't make a scene. But don't expect me to be nice to him or anything, okay?" Rob said, relenting to his sister's request. "Okay Rob!"

They made their way up to the second floor. Scott told Rob about his future job of being South Glen's coach and as she expected, Rob didn't say more than one word to Sam, he just said hey and that was all. A new band was playing on stage and Josie saw Rob perk up at the sound of the first melody of the song they we're playing.

Josie recognized it as "Can't take my eyes off of you". One of Rob's favorite songs. Rob looked at Josie and wiggled his eyebrows up and down. Josie knew what that look meant. "No, Robert! No way!" she protested as Rob walked over to her slowly. "What?" Matt asked as he smiled amusedly at Rob's antics. Josie stood up and walked backwards, away from Rob. "He wants me to dance with him!" Josie explained.

Laughter filled the air around the table, as Rob got closer to his sister. "Come on Jos. You know I love this song. Please…." He said, a pout forming on his face. Josie sighed and nodded. "Okay…. but just this one song. And don't dip me…for my sake and all the people around us…okay?" "Okay!" Rob took her hand and led his sister to the dance floor.

* * * Sam and his friends went to the railing to watch Rob and Josie danced. Rob was mad at him…and he knows that. She was his sister after all. And he had hurt her. Sam watched as Rob twirled his sister around the dance floor, causing other people to step back and watch them dance.

She looked so graceful out there, laughing openly as Rob let go of her hand and started to dance around her. He had persuaded her sister to take off her jacket so that she could dance more freely. Rob, not controlling himself, started to sing out loud with the band, causing Josie to laugh even more at his out of tune voice.

She smiled and Sam saw her shrugging her shoulders as she too, sang out loud. "I love you baby, and if it's quite all right I need you baby, to warm the lonely nights, trust in me when I say. Oh, pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray. Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you stay. And let me love you, baby, let me love you…" Sam laughed as he saw Josie laugh so openly that she almost fell, if it wasn't for Rob who caught her in his arms.

He never saw her like this before, and it caused his feelings towards her to make him more confused than ever. He was feeling attracted, again…. and enthralled by the sight of her. He wanted to be the one down there…the one who's dancing with her. To see her laugh, up close. As the song came to a close, he saw Rob dip his sister, against her protests.

When they we're finished, the crowd around them applauded at their show, making Josie blush furiously. She swatted Rob's arm playfully, as they went on their way back to Sam's table. But before Josie could make another step up the stairs, Sam noticed a man walk quickly towards her and when he reached her, he placed his arms around her waist, hugging her from behind. It was Mark.

Sam closed his eyes as another wave of intense jealousy run through his entire body, causing him to lose his balance. He would have toppled over if he weren't gripping the railing's railing so tightly. Breathing heavily, he turned around and sat down on a stool, trying hard to control his emotions.

* * * Josie couldn't stop laughing while she danced with Rob. It was a long time since they danced together, but it was still nice to know that they still can do well on the dance floor. She was about to go up the stairs when suddenly somebody grabbed her from behind, causing her to almost fall forward.

She turned around and was surprised to see Mark there. "Hey, what are you doing here?" she asked, somewhat sadly, because she didn't really want to see him here. Actually she didn't want to see him, period. She was still confused about her feelings about Sam, and she didn't want Mark to know about her past with him. He didn't know that she wrote the article, "Never Been Kissed" because he came to Chicago Sun-Times a year after and she persuaded her office mates to never bring up that topic ever again.

"Well, I missed you. Aren't you happy to see me?" Mark asked, as he leaned in to give a kiss on the cheek, brushing her hair away from her face. "Of…. course…I am happy!" she answered, somewhat convincingly, but not convincing enough to her self. "I'm so glad that I decided to come here, or I would have missed you wearing that sexy outfit of yours." He said, his eyes running through her body, up and down, appreciatively.

Josie shivered, looking for Rob since her leather jacket was with him. "Hey, come on, let's dance!" Mark said, pulling Josie to the dance floor. Josie sighed, and reluctantly followed him. It was a slow song, "I could fall in love with you", one of Josie's favorite songs. Mark pulled her closely to him, snaking his arms around her waist. Josie couldn't relax in his arms, her eyes wandering up to the railing where Sam was standing a moment ago when she was dancing with Rob. He wasn't there. "Where is he? Did he go home already?' she asked herself, her eyes darting around the club.

"Hey, are you okay?" Mark asked, pulling back a little, looking into her eyes. "Um…nothing…I'm just cold, that's all." "Oh, where is your jacket?" "It's with Rob. I don't know where he is." "Wait, you could wear my jacket." He offered, as he took out his jacket. Josie accepted it gratefully, and she felt something hard in the inside pocket.

"Hey, Mark. What's this?" she asked as she pulled it out. "Oh, wait let me get that." He reached for the box and solemnly faced her. He opened it and said, "This is for you, Josie. I know how much you love this kind of stuff." Josie looked at the box as he slowly opened it. It contained a silver necklace with a pendant in a shape of a butterfly.

Josie smiled as his sweetness. "Thank you Mark. That's so sweet of you!" Mark smiled back as he took the necklace, handing the box to Josie then went behind her to put the necklace around her neck. She pulled up her hair, waiting for Mark to finish his task. "There!" he exclaimed, as he faced her again and pulled her into his arms. Josie obliged to his unspoken request for her to get closer to him and snaked her arms around his neck, leaning softly against him.

* * * "Hey, is that Josie's boyfriend?" Jonathan asked, leaning against the railing. "Hey Sam. Come here!" Sam reluctantly walked over to the railing. He saw Mark put his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He tried to tear his eyes away from the couple but he couldn't.

To add insult to injury, he saw Mark take off his jacket and place it around Josie. As if that wasn't enough, Sam saw Mark give Josie a present. It was a necklace. Mark was the one who placed it around her neck, making Sam's heart pound hard against his chest. He sucked in a painful breath as Josie laid her head on his shoulder. Sam bit his lip so hard that he was surprised that it didn't bleed.

Looking down at the couple, he turned to Jon and answered his question, "Yeah, that's her boyfriend." He answered, sadly as he continued to watch the couple. Sam looked at Josie, her eyes were closed, but suddenly, it opened, as if she knows that someone is watching her. He saw her head rise slightly and her blue eyes focus at his own green ones. Her facial expression was unreadable and Sam felt his heart pound harder. It was as if she was feeling as confused as he is. Sam smiled crookedly at her, as he turned and went back to his seat.

* * * Josie felt like someone was watching her and when she raised her head, her suspicions were correct. Her eyes met Sam's piercing eyes and what she saw there took her breath away. He was looking at her sadly, as if he was hoping that he was the one who was dancing with her. He smiled at her, that wonderful crooked smile that never failed to leave her weak in the knees, and he turned around, breaking the spell.

Josie willed the song to end and was glad when it did. At that exact time, Mark's phone rang, making him go out the noisy club for him to be able to hear his caller. Josie looked around and saw Anita sitting at a table at the back of the bar. "Hey Anita. Have you seen Rob? My jacket's with him." She asked her friend as she sat down.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I have it right here!" she said, as she handed her the jacket. "Oh, thanks!" she said as she removed Mark's jacket from her shoulders and wore her own. "So, where were you?" Anita asked, sipping her beer. "I was with Tim…Burke. He asked me to meet his friends and I did. And you wouldn't believe this Anita." She said. "What?" Anita asked her face lighting up. "Um…Sam…he's back Anita!" she explained, looking down at her hands.

"Sam Coulson? What? When? Where?" "Yah, Anita. Sam Coulson. I saw him this afternoon, at Lincoln Park. Where I interviewed Maria Rodriguez and her fiancé." "Oh. So who is her fiancé? Wait, don't tell me that Sam is…." Understanding began dawning on her face. "Yup! San Coulson is Maria's fiancé!" she sighed as she answered her friend. "No way Josie! So how do you feel?"

"I don't know Anita. You should see him. He's so handsome. Much more handsome than when I last saw him two years ago. I just can't believe my luck." She said as she placed her head on her hands. "Oh, Josie!" Anita said, scooting closer to her friend. "I don't know what to feel anymore. I'm not sure if I'm still in love with him. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't love him anymore, since he's obviously in love with Maria. But, my heart is steering me to another direction."

"So, what are you going to do?" "I don't know. One thing I know is…I wish he wasn't the one who's going to get married in three weeks." Josie said, as she looked off at a distance, her mind on the impending matter.

* * * Sam trudged heavily up the stairs to his apartment. He opened the door and checked his answering machine. Message one: eight thirty pm: hey sweetie, it's Maria. Just wanted to remind you of our brunch tomorrow at the country club. Dad's not going to be there, he has some matters to attend to. So, I left a message at Josie Geller's message and I invited her to join us. So I'll just meet you there. Night! Love you!

Sam's head snapped up in surprise at what he thought Maria said. He replayed the message again, and he listened intently. Confirming that Josie is indeed coming with them to the brunch tomorrow, he went to his bedroom and prepared to go to sleep. As he changed into a t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts, his thoughts went back to Josie. Her smile, her eyes, her hair, the way that she was dancing at the club, and when their eyes met that one magical moment that she was dancing in the arms of Mark.

Sam closed his eyes painfully as his jealousy resurfaced once again. He lay back on his pillows and tried to fall asleep, but to no avail. He shifted from one position to another, hoping to fall asleep for just one hour or something. He knows he shouldn't be thinking about Josie but he couldn't help himself. Finally, he fell into a deep sleep, his thoughts filled of only one person…. Josie.

* * * Josie was lying on her bed, struggling to silence her mind to stop thinking about Sam. She tossed and turned but Sam's face wouldn't leave her thoughts. She couldn't help but think about how he looked like when he saw her dancing with Mark. She stood up and went to the kitchen to get a glass of warm milk to calm her nerves. On her way to the kitchen, she noticed her answering machine blinking.

She stopped and played her message. Message one: eight fifteen pm: hey Josie! Maria here. I just wanted to invite you to a brunch tomorrow at the Country Club. I want you to be there so that you could get started with your articles. I won't accept no for an answer, okay. You don't have to call me back since you're coming. See you tomorrow. And oh yah, no crew yet, okay! Bye Josie!

Josie's eyes widened at the thought of having brunch tomorrow with Sam and his fiancé. She drank a glass of milk and went to her bedroom. She knows that she couldn't get out of the brunch tomorrow. She just had to deal with it. As she lay down on her bed, she again thought about Sam. "Why does he have to get married so soon? Why here? Why do I have to be the one to cover their wedding? Why?" she asked herself out loud. "Do I still love him?"

Knowing that sleep won't be coming for a long time, she decided to take out a box from under her bed. It was a box that she haven't touched since she kept it two years ago. Opening it, the first thing she saw was the small stuffed penguin that she bought when she was still in South Glen. She named it Sam, since she believed that Sam was indeed her penguin.

Digging deeper, she found a picture of her and Sam, taken when they were painting the backdrop. She smiled at the memory. They had so much fun then, innocently flirting with each other by dabbing paint on each other's faces. She put it aside as she looked for the stack of papers inside the box.

Those were the essays that she wrote for him. He wrote voluminous comments on the margins. She looked at his handwriting, neat yet masculine. She sighed as she got to her essay about her dilemma. He was her dilemma back then. And apparently, her dilemma now. She read her essay, tears pooling in her eyes.

My Dilemma
by Josie Geller

Two months ago, I thought I was happy being by myself with no one to really care about me except for my parents and my brother. I had withdrawn from life because I was hurt and afraid. I believed I'd made a nice sheltered life for myself. I told my brother recently that I was happy with the life I'd created and he laughed at me. Now I know he was right to laugh. Because I've lived through lots of emotional pain in my life, to cope with it I have created a thick shell around my heart.

 It's no wonder I like turtles so much; we are so much alike! I made up my mind a long time ago to be happy alone and I know I can do that again if I need to: I just work hard and lock the bad memories away. I'm lucky because I'm strong enough to be able to do that. But since coming to this school, everything has changed. I realized how wrong I was in my perception that being alone was best. I now know that to be truly happy, I need someone to share things with: someone who sees things the way I see them, someone who enjoys the things I do and laughs at the same things…someone who reads my mind. I need my true soul mate, my true love.

 These were things I never dared dream of because I never thought it would happen to me. And at last, maybe, just maybe, it has. But what do I do when my true love's heart belongs to someone else? Go back inside my shell like my turtles? As least my turtles have each other, yet I would be alone. Do I then violate my own rules and settle for something less than the dream? It makes me wonder… Is there a middle ground for happiness and is that what my true love has chosen? Is that what most people find? A part of the dream as opposed to the whole?

My brother seems to think so, and he knows a lot more about these matters than I. Maybe I'm just too idealistic, but I don't want to settle. I want it all. But what other choice do I have if I can't have the one that is made for me? There seems to be no clear-cut path, no easy answers. Is it better to have found one's soul mate even if you cannot be with them? Or to never have looked? Is it better to risk more pain to know the truth? Or should I have simply stayed in my shell and never risked at all? Knowing what I now know about love, is it possible to go back? To forget? This is my dilemma."

Josie wiped away the tears that fell down her cheeks. "Maybe I should just go back to my shell. Forget about everything…break up with Mark…. not love again. I've been alone for twenty-seven years now…. so why shouldn't I just go back to my solitude again and forget about men…forget about Sam." she asked herself. Tears kept on falling because she knows that she could never forget Sam.

As confused as she is now, she still knows one thing. Sam is still important to her. Very important. She returned all the things inside the box, except her stuffed penguin. She hugged it tight, and finally she fell asleep.