~Blood Rose~
There is a two-fold Silence -- sea and shore --
Body and soul. One dwells in lonely places,
Newly with grass o'er grown; some solemn graces,
Some human memories and tearful lore,
(From Poe, Edgar Allan: Silence)
Chapter 19:
Antoinette awoke to the sound a soft breathing and steady rising and falling motion. She opened her eyes to find that she was lying against Jax's bare chest. Quickly she sat up, pulling herself away.
"Skye?" Jax sat up groggily, opening his eyes and reaching out for her. Antoinette turned from him, getting out of bed, the memory of her nightmare coming back to her and finding peace in his comforting arms.
"I have to get ready, I have an appointment-"
"Skye, please, don't do this-" Jax threw the covers aside, getting to his own feet.
"No, just- don't. I have to get ready." Backing away, she stepped into the master bathroom, quickly shutting the door, a barrier between Jax and herself. On one side she sat on the edge of the bathtub, head in her hands and on the other he stood staring at the barrier, hopelessly lost at what to do.
The ride to town was long and silent. Jax stared straight ahead, driving her to her seven-month check up. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Skye leaning her head against the cool windowpane, her eyes closed. There was a bluish tint around her eyes, speaking of her uneasy sleep the night before. It didn't take much for her to show the signs of tiredness.
He parked the car outside the small hospital, and quickly got out. He walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door slowly, catching her as she slide sideways in her sleep. She opened her eyes slowly, resting on his face briefly in confusion, then looking around, finding her bearings.
"Are we late?" she asked as she climbed out, not looking at him.
"A few minutes, I don't think they'll mind."
She nodded, looking down at the ground, ignoring his offered hand. Jax stepped back as she shut the door and began heading off, watching her as she got several feet ahead. A fleeting moment of anger and despair passed, settling on a determination. With a few long strides, he came along side her and slipped his hand into hers. He watched her reaction out of the corner of his eye, keeping his head forward. She glanced at him, a guarded look of confusion, then looked away, surprisingly allowing her hand to remain in his. He didn't venture a guess if that really was a good thing, the possibilities of significance in the action, or lack of one. He was content to in this moment let things be with out question, this moment in time was after all about the baby, their baby, and not them, at least not directly.
Antoinette waited patiently for her doctor to appear, leaning back on the upright patient's bed with her eyes once again closed. She was aware of Jax moving about her nervously, looking at the posters about child development in the room they'd been shown to. She was used to the waiting as well as the procedure to having an ultrasound done and comfortable in this increasingly familiar hospital, he was not.
She heard a door open and the voice of her doctor.
"Hello Ms. Chandler, let's-" Dr. Peterson trailed off, and Antoinette saw the other woman's eyes go questioningly to Jax. Antoinette could imagine the thoughts going through her mind, wondering how this man was and where had he been before. She was well aware she, her pregnancy, and choice of residence was quite the subject of gossip in this relatively small town where everyone knew just about everyone else, she didn't care.
Bringing herself can to focus, Dr. Peterson quickly set to her duty, she had picked up on her patients preference to excluding small talk and getting to the point. It wasn't long before everything was in place and a small, moving outline of a figure could be seen on the black and white screen of the ultrasound machine.
Antoinette smiled at the image of her baby, nodding silently when Dr. Peterson said everything looked fine, and left to refill her prenatal prescription for her, leaving her alone with the image, and Jax.
She looked over at him, he was sitting beside her on a stool, completely absorbed with the live picture of his child, kicking and moving before him. He had taken her hand in his again when he'd sat down and was now gripping it almost painfully tight, completely unaware that he was doing so.
She sadly watched his rapt attention on the screen, a tear escaping from her eye. He looked up at her from the screen at her, the wonder in his eyes quickly being replaced by concern.
"Skye-?"
She quickly moved her fingers up to his lips, silencing him. "Don't." He didn't.
The ride back had been as silent as the ride there. When Jax parked the car he watched, Skye quickly headed to the house, leaving him to slowly follow. When he got inside, she had already disappeared down the hall and into her room. He could see that her door wasn't fully shut but he didn't go after her, instead he occupied himself with making lunch. By the time he was done making lunch and set it on the table, Antoinette had yet to come back out as he had expected.
"Skye, lunch is ready!"
No answer.
"Skye?" Jax called, heading down the hall, again receiving no answer. He pushed the door to her room fully open and entered not seeing her. He checked her bathroom but still no Skye. His stomach churned with worry, and he hurriedly headed back down the hall, wondering if she had gone out the front door without his noticing. He only got as far as the end of the hall when something caught his eye, the white door, white and red with a rose, wasn't closed tight but was slightly cracked open.
He reached out and applied a slight amount of pressure to the door; it swung open to reveal her standing in the center of the room, completely still. Taking a few hesitant steps forward, he expected Skye to turn around and face him or at the very least say something and was surprised when she didn't respond in any way.
"Skye?" He reached out a hand towards her, barely touching her shoulder causing her to jump and pull away, spinning around. Across her face were streaks of tears and in her eyes he could see strikingly clear emotion of a tortured sadness and fear that made him want to turn away, it hurt him to see that there in her eyes. Slowly her eyes clouded once again, closing the window to her soul as she focused on him, waiting for him to say something.
"Lunch is ready, I thought you'd like to know," he offered weakly, unsure of what else to say.
"I'll be there in a second."
Jax nodded, and back away from her as she turned to look around at the room, her eyes taking in every detail. He exited the room, his entire body relaxing, releasing the tension he hadn't even noticed was there.
He returned to the kitchen and in a few moments she joined him, completely composed, her face washed clean of the evidence of her tears. Yet, for everything that hadn't changed between them, the same unspoken silence, he couldn't help but noticed the brief glance she had given him when she sat down, a look he couldn't describe but for some reason gave him a feeling of change, almost a feeling of foreboding. He couldn't help but feel that she had come to a decision about something or at the very least had decided yes was going to make some sort of decision, an action perhaps that would bring a real change to everything. If that was the case, it simply became a matter of if whatever it was, was a good thing, at least what he hoped it would be a good thing.
There is a two-fold Silence -- sea and shore --
Body and soul. One dwells in lonely places,
Newly with grass o'er grown; some solemn graces,
Some human memories and tearful lore,
(From Poe, Edgar Allan: Silence)
Chapter 19:
Antoinette awoke to the sound a soft breathing and steady rising and falling motion. She opened her eyes to find that she was lying against Jax's bare chest. Quickly she sat up, pulling herself away.
"Skye?" Jax sat up groggily, opening his eyes and reaching out for her. Antoinette turned from him, getting out of bed, the memory of her nightmare coming back to her and finding peace in his comforting arms.
"I have to get ready, I have an appointment-"
"Skye, please, don't do this-" Jax threw the covers aside, getting to his own feet.
"No, just- don't. I have to get ready." Backing away, she stepped into the master bathroom, quickly shutting the door, a barrier between Jax and herself. On one side she sat on the edge of the bathtub, head in her hands and on the other he stood staring at the barrier, hopelessly lost at what to do.
The ride to town was long and silent. Jax stared straight ahead, driving her to her seven-month check up. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Skye leaning her head against the cool windowpane, her eyes closed. There was a bluish tint around her eyes, speaking of her uneasy sleep the night before. It didn't take much for her to show the signs of tiredness.
He parked the car outside the small hospital, and quickly got out. He walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door slowly, catching her as she slide sideways in her sleep. She opened her eyes slowly, resting on his face briefly in confusion, then looking around, finding her bearings.
"Are we late?" she asked as she climbed out, not looking at him.
"A few minutes, I don't think they'll mind."
She nodded, looking down at the ground, ignoring his offered hand. Jax stepped back as she shut the door and began heading off, watching her as she got several feet ahead. A fleeting moment of anger and despair passed, settling on a determination. With a few long strides, he came along side her and slipped his hand into hers. He watched her reaction out of the corner of his eye, keeping his head forward. She glanced at him, a guarded look of confusion, then looked away, surprisingly allowing her hand to remain in his. He didn't venture a guess if that really was a good thing, the possibilities of significance in the action, or lack of one. He was content to in this moment let things be with out question, this moment in time was after all about the baby, their baby, and not them, at least not directly.
Antoinette waited patiently for her doctor to appear, leaning back on the upright patient's bed with her eyes once again closed. She was aware of Jax moving about her nervously, looking at the posters about child development in the room they'd been shown to. She was used to the waiting as well as the procedure to having an ultrasound done and comfortable in this increasingly familiar hospital, he was not.
She heard a door open and the voice of her doctor.
"Hello Ms. Chandler, let's-" Dr. Peterson trailed off, and Antoinette saw the other woman's eyes go questioningly to Jax. Antoinette could imagine the thoughts going through her mind, wondering how this man was and where had he been before. She was well aware she, her pregnancy, and choice of residence was quite the subject of gossip in this relatively small town where everyone knew just about everyone else, she didn't care.
Bringing herself can to focus, Dr. Peterson quickly set to her duty, she had picked up on her patients preference to excluding small talk and getting to the point. It wasn't long before everything was in place and a small, moving outline of a figure could be seen on the black and white screen of the ultrasound machine.
Antoinette smiled at the image of her baby, nodding silently when Dr. Peterson said everything looked fine, and left to refill her prenatal prescription for her, leaving her alone with the image, and Jax.
She looked over at him, he was sitting beside her on a stool, completely absorbed with the live picture of his child, kicking and moving before him. He had taken her hand in his again when he'd sat down and was now gripping it almost painfully tight, completely unaware that he was doing so.
She sadly watched his rapt attention on the screen, a tear escaping from her eye. He looked up at her from the screen at her, the wonder in his eyes quickly being replaced by concern.
"Skye-?"
She quickly moved her fingers up to his lips, silencing him. "Don't." He didn't.
The ride back had been as silent as the ride there. When Jax parked the car he watched, Skye quickly headed to the house, leaving him to slowly follow. When he got inside, she had already disappeared down the hall and into her room. He could see that her door wasn't fully shut but he didn't go after her, instead he occupied himself with making lunch. By the time he was done making lunch and set it on the table, Antoinette had yet to come back out as he had expected.
"Skye, lunch is ready!"
No answer.
"Skye?" Jax called, heading down the hall, again receiving no answer. He pushed the door to her room fully open and entered not seeing her. He checked her bathroom but still no Skye. His stomach churned with worry, and he hurriedly headed back down the hall, wondering if she had gone out the front door without his noticing. He only got as far as the end of the hall when something caught his eye, the white door, white and red with a rose, wasn't closed tight but was slightly cracked open.
He reached out and applied a slight amount of pressure to the door; it swung open to reveal her standing in the center of the room, completely still. Taking a few hesitant steps forward, he expected Skye to turn around and face him or at the very least say something and was surprised when she didn't respond in any way.
"Skye?" He reached out a hand towards her, barely touching her shoulder causing her to jump and pull away, spinning around. Across her face were streaks of tears and in her eyes he could see strikingly clear emotion of a tortured sadness and fear that made him want to turn away, it hurt him to see that there in her eyes. Slowly her eyes clouded once again, closing the window to her soul as she focused on him, waiting for him to say something.
"Lunch is ready, I thought you'd like to know," he offered weakly, unsure of what else to say.
"I'll be there in a second."
Jax nodded, and back away from her as she turned to look around at the room, her eyes taking in every detail. He exited the room, his entire body relaxing, releasing the tension he hadn't even noticed was there.
He returned to the kitchen and in a few moments she joined him, completely composed, her face washed clean of the evidence of her tears. Yet, for everything that hadn't changed between them, the same unspoken silence, he couldn't help but noticed the brief glance she had given him when she sat down, a look he couldn't describe but for some reason gave him a feeling of change, almost a feeling of foreboding. He couldn't help but feel that she had come to a decision about something or at the very least had decided yes was going to make some sort of decision, an action perhaps that would bring a real change to everything. If that was the case, it simply became a matter of if whatever it was, was a good thing, at least what he hoped it would be a good thing.