by Aurora
Hermione entered the Great Hall and slowly made her
way to the High Table where all of the other teachers already sat. Many
students watched the swirl of her dark green robes and she nodded at her
House's table. She took her seat next to Trelawny and a very ominous looking
Snape.
"Glad you could join us Professor Granger." Snape spat.
She shot him a glare.
Silence followed for most of the meal after Snape scowled and looked
at his plate.
Hermione picked at her food absently. She hadnt really had an appetite
lately and she knew Albus was worried about her. She really didnt understand
herself why she was like this. She just didnt feel like eating.
"Professor Granger, are you actually going to eat your food or are
you just going to play with it?"
"When my eating habits become your concern, then Ill bother myself
with your comment."she retorted before setting back to her picking, missing
his somewhat grin fade into passivness.
She didnt see any outward reaction to her response, but she could feel
him tense for a moment before bringing himself back into check. Already
she regretted it. He had been trying to poke fun with her in his Snape-like
way and she had just as good as slapped him.
"Im sorry."she whispered.
When he didnt acknowledge her, she quickly put her silverware on her
plate and made to get up and leave. But, a hand on her arm stopped her
ascent and she sat back down.
"Professor Granger, may I ask where you think you are going? You havent
even touched your steak, and I daresay that if you dont eat it then I will."
With that he turned away from her and began a conversation with Remus Lupin.
She was forgiven.
After dinner, at the usual customary time of 9:30, Professor Hermione
Granger made her way to the dungeons. Since her return from Summer vacation
after her graduation and acceptance as the new Professor of Transfiguration
and Head of Gryffindor House, Severus Snape and herself had a kind of friendship.
They werent friends or even buddies. More like good aquaintances. They
had an arrangement. She would arrive at 9:40 and she would read by his
fire while he graded papers and complained about students. They occasionally
had conversation, not usually, and if so was mostly about academics and
studious topics. Never anything personal or engaging like small talk.They
acted as if the other wasnt there. She sipped tea and occasionally on the
weekends would fall asleep with her nose in a book on the couch and he
would let her stay there till the morning. During the school-week she left
by 11, if not sooner.
He didnt favor her because of this. He continously
berated her as still being a Gryffindor know-it-all, and accused her of
favoritism at which she would retort that he was the same way with his
House. He wasnt a better man, and most people would say he had gotten worse.
(outwardly anyway). He was as mean as ever to his students, he had an even
worse attitude and ill-temper. He let nothing change him. He would
criticize her teaching habits and she criticized his right back. He cut
her down at every chance, yet Hermione never took offense and neither did
he. She usually knew if he was kidding, even if to everyone else it seemed
as if he wasnt. She could tell by his breathing or his slight flinching
or tenseing. That, she realized, did come from her time with him.
They came to their understanding the second night
she was back at Hogwarts. He had somewhat harshly and akwardly thanked
her for that night in the hospital wing. She told him no thanks were needed
and he invited her to stay and read from his library. She came every night
after that. It was an unspoken thing, and it was understood that their
understanding was a reminder that they werent alone in this still time
of grieving.
Sometimes she would look over at him from behind
her book and study him. She watched his concentration and marveled at how
well she knew what each look meant, what each little change in his posture
meant. Sometimes she would catch him sighing and would see him look very
tired and drained and would wonder. Wonder what made him the way he is,
so bitter, so menacing to others. She could understand the pain, most definately,
but why this deeper falling into anger she couldnt understand. Voldemort
was gone and yet he acted as though he were sitting right on his shoulders
every day.
This particular night she caught him in a rare moment
of outward weakness. His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose and his
breathing was a bit labored. She realized he had a headache and there was
something else.
"Severus?"
He looked at her startled.
She put her book down and walked over to him.
He tried to look annoyed at her, but it came out like a wince instead.
"Whats the matter?"
"Isnt it obvious woman?!"he practically shouted, frustration evident
in his voice.
She sighed.
"You are hopeless."
That seemed to snap something, and she could see it come loose in his
eyes.
"Get out."
She stepped back at the venom in his voice.
"No."she said a bit shakily.
"Do you need your hearing checked now, I said get out!"
"I think you need the hearing check because I said NO!"
He slammed his fist onto the table, but this time she stood firm.
"And why not?!" he yelled.
She kept her voice low and calm as she replied.
"Because, I , unlike you, am going to do something to help you."
Before he could say a word she help up her hand to quiet him.
"Just sit."she said firmly before turning to go to his personal stores.
She came back with a headache relief potion and held it out to him.
"Drink. Now." was all she said.
He looked at the bottle in her hand with disdain.
After some silence he took it and made a scene of drinking it.
Quietly then he spoke.
"How did you know it was a headache?"
"Isnt it obvious?"she replied.
Silence.
"But I know thats not all thats wrong with you. Look Severus, I know
we dont really talk about things, but maybe we should. Whats wrong with
you? Something is eating at you, I can tell."
"Its nothing of your concern."
"Arrogant Bastard."she mumbled.
"what?"he asked surprisedly.
"Selfish prick."
"Professor Granger..."he growled.
She moved closer to him.
"Ignorant pig."
"Hermione..."he said dangerously.
"Would you like me to keep going Severus? I have lots more.....greasy
git.."
Before she could blink, Snape was out of his chair and had grabbed
her by the shoulders sharply.
"That is enough!"he bellowed tightening his grip on her. His eyes bore
into hers.
When she let out a small yelp he seemed to snap back into reality,
releasing her.
"Im sorry" she thought she heard him mutter.
"Look. I know something is wrong, but if you dont want to tell me fine.
Just....oh I dont know."
She turned away from him to walk back to her chair but he grabbed her
arm and turned her to face him.
"Why..why would you want to hear my burden. You dont need it, I assure
you. "
"Maybe I actually care."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because I can."
He was silent and studied her for a moment. She saw the battle for
decision pass his features and she repressed the urge to smoothe away his
lines of worry.
"I cant tell you. Not now, not yet. "
"Grant me this then, that you will someday."
He nodded and turned away from her to sit again, his headache fading.
She moved back to her place by the fire and tried to read. When she
couldnt get back into it she looked over at him and saw him asleep. Silently
she pulled the quill from his fingertips and use Mobilcorpus to move him
to his bedroom. She tucked him into his bed after removing his boots and
outer robe. He awoke a little when she moved a strand of hair from his
face.
"What are you doing?"he whispered.
"Nothing."she whispered back before turning to leave, while a sleepy
Snape fell back into dreamworld.
As she walked back to her room she re-evaluated the night's events.
She had realized before that something about him got to her. He was mean,
he was cruel, he was Snape. But she didnt care. She knew he was human after
all and had to have some feelings somewhere, she had seen some of them
that night long ago and saw even more today. She knew she felt something
for him all this time, but as she closed her eyes to sleep that night she
realized that she loved him.