Disclaimer: I don't own zoids...
Loyalties of the Heart by Shelly
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Tania hated having to leave Karl like that, but she was determined to set things right after her failure that afternoon and the only way she knew how to do that was to return to Colonel Tragar even though she had no idea where their base was now. But she knew that they would have soldiers patrolling the surrounding area and she counted on them finding her soon.
It felt good to be inside her Saber Tiger again, and she wondered who had bothered to bring it back to Red River to have it repaired. The only person it could be was Karl and she supposed that he had meant to return it to her as a gift until he had found out she had planned to betray them, an accusation she had been unable to deny without giving everything away.
Leaving the base had been an easy thing to do since the hangar door had been left open, and all she needed to tell the personnel on duty was that Colonel Shubaltz had told her he had repaired her Saber Tiger and that he wished her to test it out. They had let her go without an argument and she had put the base behind her once she was safely away to allow the Tiger to stretch its legs as they sped across the ground at top speed. Apparently her zoid felt the same as it roared its happiness at having its pilot back, the sound echoing across the desert.
Soon an explosion shook her zoid a bit, a warning shot apparently, but it was enough to rouse her anger after the day she had. Looking around her, she quickly located her attacker and took off towards the hill that whoever it was was hiding behind, dodging the following shots with an agility that surprised her. Clearing the top of the hill, she prepared to attack her unknown assailant but when she saw a familiar Command Wolf crouching down preparing to fire she wrenched the direction of her zoid in a different direction to force it into a sliding stop. She jumped out of the cockpit to gaze at the zoid. "Irvine?" she whispered.
The cockpit of the Command Wolf opened and a figure leaped out to walk towards her, and as he drew closer she could make out his clothing and eye patch he always wore, and she could see the surprise in his gray eyes that mirrored her own. "Tania?" he questioned.
She could do nothing else except stand there in silence. It had been awhile since she had last seen him when he had been hired by Colonel Tragar to take care of some things that neither of them would tell her. They had struck up a fast friendship and at one time there may have been a little more between them, but she never encouraged anything more as her heart still longed for Karl and it would do neither of them any good for her to try and deceive herself as well as him.
When he drew closer, he embraced her warmly before pulling away to look her over, a frown appearing when he saw her injured ankle. "I guess I don't need to ask how you've been," he pointed out dryly.
"Believe me, you don't want to," she replied. "But it appears you're doing well. What are you doing out here, firing at those who call you their friend?"
He held his hands up. "Hey, I didn't know it was you after all I have heard that's going on. I knew it was your Saber Tiger but I wasn't sure if it was you piloting it, which is why I only fired a warning shot."
She arched an eyebrow at him. "And what were those other shots? Practice runs?"
He smiled. "You've improved since I last saw you," he said. "That's good."
She returned his smile. "I had a good teacher," she replied as he had helped her improve on her skills as a pilot.
He stood there a moment not saying anything but just gazing at her before he seemed to shake himself back to the present. "I was just about to fix something to eat. Care to join me?"
She shook her head. "No, but thanks anyway. I've already eaten tonight." But she figured she could still join him if only to give him some company and followed him back to his Command Wolf where he had started a small camp nearby, all the while silently staring at his back as her thoughts wandered. They had almost become closer than just friends, but she had discouraged his advances as she knew that if there was ever anyone who could take her away from Karl it would be him, which was strange since they were different in their natures.
Karl was very predictable about some things where Irvine pretty much flew by the seat of his pants which had attracted her to him instantly. Karl always had a plan for everything, but Irvine often either did not or had one but chose to ignore it, except in instances where one mistake could mean life or death. However, both were excellent warriors and were very loyal to their friends even though Irvine sometimes chose not to show his better side.
They reached the campsite and she sat down on a nearby rock while he searched for the small burner and grabbed a small bag of dried meat before returning to sit near her. "So, what have you been doing these days?" she asked to get her mind off of what his nearness was doing to her as well as telling herself she had no right to think of him in such a way.
"This and that," he answered. "Whatever comes my way, and if I decide it's worth my time then I take it."
"What are you doing now? You must have some reason for being out here in the middle of nowhere."
He was quiet a moment. "Looking for you," he answered softly.
She turned her head towards him and saw herself looking into his eyes as he had removed his eyepiece, her heart melting. Did he mean that he was looking for her on his own or had someone hired him to find her? "I see that Colonel Tragar sent you to find me," she observed as she looked away from him.
"Do you have a problem with that?" he asked, wondering why she always turned from him whenever they were close together. Even before when she first met him, she refused to let him get close to her, and he had asked around to see if anyone else knew anything about her, but when he discovered that they knew no more than he did he asked her himself. She had replied that she wasn't involved, but she still shied away from him although she was still friendly towards him, and that was the way things had stood between them when he had left.
"No," she answered, bringing him back from the past. "I knew that sooner or later he would send someone."
"He's offering a big sum of money, Tania. Why is he looking for you?" he questioned.
She was unable to stop the sudden flare of her temper. "Is that why you're out here?" she demanded. "For the money? That's so like you, Irvine," she scoffed as she rose to her feet and walked in the direction of her zoid, but only got so far before she felt his hand grip her arm and spin her around gently as he didn't wish to injure her ankle further.
"You know it's not," he answered. "Ever since I left, I've wondered why you never allowed me to get to know you."
"Look who's talking," she interrupted. "I don't know the first thing about you except your name and that you were friends with Van, so who are you to accuse me of not telling you anything about myself?"
"I would've told you everything if you had only asked," he replied. "But I sensed that you wished to keep your distance so I didn't pressure you, although I had hoped that one day you would confide in me and let me take care of you."
She felt herself warming towards him, and she cursed herself for being so weak around him. "Irvine," she whispered. "You don't know how much I wanted you to. But I was and still am in love with another, and I could not betray him like that. Although I am not sure how he feels about me now after what I did to him."
"Then the bigger fool is he for not seeing how much you love him and forgiving you," he answered.
"It's not that simple. I knowingly led them into a trap which could've cost him his life and that of those that came with us, although I had no choice but to do so. But I couldn't tell him the truth as it would endanger the lives of even more people."
He touched his hand to her cheek and gently brushed it down the side of her neck to rest on her shoulder. "Still, you left him so he must've hurt you pretty bad, and that you didn't deserve no matter what you did."
"He had no choice but to do what he did," she replied. "He is a Colonel in the Imperial Army and I am, or was, his prisoner."
"Then if he loves you as much as you love him then you would come first even before his duty to the Empire," he argued.
"Irvine, would you stop it?!" she finally cried as she broke free from his grasp, not wanting to have to explain herself to him any longer. "Why are you doing this to me?" she pleaded.
"For the past couple of years since I left, I have wondered what it was I had done wrong that you felt you couldn't come to see me as any more than just a friend. There have been few women such as you that I have met, and you were the only one that could turn me inside out just like you are now. I have always prided myself on being calm even in the midst of battle where my life is on the line, but when I'm around you I can't even keep a single thought straight in my head. And never have I been so happy to embarrass myself like this," he added with a laugh bordering on the edge of hysteria.
Touched by his confession, she stepped up to him and took one of his hands. "I would have, if I had allowed myself to. I felt much the same way around you, but as I said my heart belongs to another. The time that I had spent with him was cut short and like you I had always wondered what it would've been like if I had stayed with him. And when we were reunited, it was like those years between us had disappeared and we had never been separated. But no matter how much I thought about pursuing a relationship with you, I always kept wondering about him, and I knew then that it would be unfair of me to become so close to you and yet still long for another. And that's why I kept my distance from you, not because I didn't care but because I cared too much to hurt you."
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Author's note: Sounds like these two used to have quite a past together. Not to mention the fact that she might be falling for him all over again. Please read and review! I must have reviews! Can't...live...without...them! *gasp*
Loyalties of the Heart by Shelly
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Tania hated having to leave Karl like that, but she was determined to set things right after her failure that afternoon and the only way she knew how to do that was to return to Colonel Tragar even though she had no idea where their base was now. But she knew that they would have soldiers patrolling the surrounding area and she counted on them finding her soon.
It felt good to be inside her Saber Tiger again, and she wondered who had bothered to bring it back to Red River to have it repaired. The only person it could be was Karl and she supposed that he had meant to return it to her as a gift until he had found out she had planned to betray them, an accusation she had been unable to deny without giving everything away.
Leaving the base had been an easy thing to do since the hangar door had been left open, and all she needed to tell the personnel on duty was that Colonel Shubaltz had told her he had repaired her Saber Tiger and that he wished her to test it out. They had let her go without an argument and she had put the base behind her once she was safely away to allow the Tiger to stretch its legs as they sped across the ground at top speed. Apparently her zoid felt the same as it roared its happiness at having its pilot back, the sound echoing across the desert.
Soon an explosion shook her zoid a bit, a warning shot apparently, but it was enough to rouse her anger after the day she had. Looking around her, she quickly located her attacker and took off towards the hill that whoever it was was hiding behind, dodging the following shots with an agility that surprised her. Clearing the top of the hill, she prepared to attack her unknown assailant but when she saw a familiar Command Wolf crouching down preparing to fire she wrenched the direction of her zoid in a different direction to force it into a sliding stop. She jumped out of the cockpit to gaze at the zoid. "Irvine?" she whispered.
The cockpit of the Command Wolf opened and a figure leaped out to walk towards her, and as he drew closer she could make out his clothing and eye patch he always wore, and she could see the surprise in his gray eyes that mirrored her own. "Tania?" he questioned.
She could do nothing else except stand there in silence. It had been awhile since she had last seen him when he had been hired by Colonel Tragar to take care of some things that neither of them would tell her. They had struck up a fast friendship and at one time there may have been a little more between them, but she never encouraged anything more as her heart still longed for Karl and it would do neither of them any good for her to try and deceive herself as well as him.
When he drew closer, he embraced her warmly before pulling away to look her over, a frown appearing when he saw her injured ankle. "I guess I don't need to ask how you've been," he pointed out dryly.
"Believe me, you don't want to," she replied. "But it appears you're doing well. What are you doing out here, firing at those who call you their friend?"
He held his hands up. "Hey, I didn't know it was you after all I have heard that's going on. I knew it was your Saber Tiger but I wasn't sure if it was you piloting it, which is why I only fired a warning shot."
She arched an eyebrow at him. "And what were those other shots? Practice runs?"
He smiled. "You've improved since I last saw you," he said. "That's good."
She returned his smile. "I had a good teacher," she replied as he had helped her improve on her skills as a pilot.
He stood there a moment not saying anything but just gazing at her before he seemed to shake himself back to the present. "I was just about to fix something to eat. Care to join me?"
She shook her head. "No, but thanks anyway. I've already eaten tonight." But she figured she could still join him if only to give him some company and followed him back to his Command Wolf where he had started a small camp nearby, all the while silently staring at his back as her thoughts wandered. They had almost become closer than just friends, but she had discouraged his advances as she knew that if there was ever anyone who could take her away from Karl it would be him, which was strange since they were different in their natures.
Karl was very predictable about some things where Irvine pretty much flew by the seat of his pants which had attracted her to him instantly. Karl always had a plan for everything, but Irvine often either did not or had one but chose to ignore it, except in instances where one mistake could mean life or death. However, both were excellent warriors and were very loyal to their friends even though Irvine sometimes chose not to show his better side.
They reached the campsite and she sat down on a nearby rock while he searched for the small burner and grabbed a small bag of dried meat before returning to sit near her. "So, what have you been doing these days?" she asked to get her mind off of what his nearness was doing to her as well as telling herself she had no right to think of him in such a way.
"This and that," he answered. "Whatever comes my way, and if I decide it's worth my time then I take it."
"What are you doing now? You must have some reason for being out here in the middle of nowhere."
He was quiet a moment. "Looking for you," he answered softly.
She turned her head towards him and saw herself looking into his eyes as he had removed his eyepiece, her heart melting. Did he mean that he was looking for her on his own or had someone hired him to find her? "I see that Colonel Tragar sent you to find me," she observed as she looked away from him.
"Do you have a problem with that?" he asked, wondering why she always turned from him whenever they were close together. Even before when she first met him, she refused to let him get close to her, and he had asked around to see if anyone else knew anything about her, but when he discovered that they knew no more than he did he asked her himself. She had replied that she wasn't involved, but she still shied away from him although she was still friendly towards him, and that was the way things had stood between them when he had left.
"No," she answered, bringing him back from the past. "I knew that sooner or later he would send someone."
"He's offering a big sum of money, Tania. Why is he looking for you?" he questioned.
She was unable to stop the sudden flare of her temper. "Is that why you're out here?" she demanded. "For the money? That's so like you, Irvine," she scoffed as she rose to her feet and walked in the direction of her zoid, but only got so far before she felt his hand grip her arm and spin her around gently as he didn't wish to injure her ankle further.
"You know it's not," he answered. "Ever since I left, I've wondered why you never allowed me to get to know you."
"Look who's talking," she interrupted. "I don't know the first thing about you except your name and that you were friends with Van, so who are you to accuse me of not telling you anything about myself?"
"I would've told you everything if you had only asked," he replied. "But I sensed that you wished to keep your distance so I didn't pressure you, although I had hoped that one day you would confide in me and let me take care of you."
She felt herself warming towards him, and she cursed herself for being so weak around him. "Irvine," she whispered. "You don't know how much I wanted you to. But I was and still am in love with another, and I could not betray him like that. Although I am not sure how he feels about me now after what I did to him."
"Then the bigger fool is he for not seeing how much you love him and forgiving you," he answered.
"It's not that simple. I knowingly led them into a trap which could've cost him his life and that of those that came with us, although I had no choice but to do so. But I couldn't tell him the truth as it would endanger the lives of even more people."
He touched his hand to her cheek and gently brushed it down the side of her neck to rest on her shoulder. "Still, you left him so he must've hurt you pretty bad, and that you didn't deserve no matter what you did."
"He had no choice but to do what he did," she replied. "He is a Colonel in the Imperial Army and I am, or was, his prisoner."
"Then if he loves you as much as you love him then you would come first even before his duty to the Empire," he argued.
"Irvine, would you stop it?!" she finally cried as she broke free from his grasp, not wanting to have to explain herself to him any longer. "Why are you doing this to me?" she pleaded.
"For the past couple of years since I left, I have wondered what it was I had done wrong that you felt you couldn't come to see me as any more than just a friend. There have been few women such as you that I have met, and you were the only one that could turn me inside out just like you are now. I have always prided myself on being calm even in the midst of battle where my life is on the line, but when I'm around you I can't even keep a single thought straight in my head. And never have I been so happy to embarrass myself like this," he added with a laugh bordering on the edge of hysteria.
Touched by his confession, she stepped up to him and took one of his hands. "I would have, if I had allowed myself to. I felt much the same way around you, but as I said my heart belongs to another. The time that I had spent with him was cut short and like you I had always wondered what it would've been like if I had stayed with him. And when we were reunited, it was like those years between us had disappeared and we had never been separated. But no matter how much I thought about pursuing a relationship with you, I always kept wondering about him, and I knew then that it would be unfair of me to become so close to you and yet still long for another. And that's why I kept my distance from you, not because I didn't care but because I cared too much to hurt you."
********************
Author's note: Sounds like these two used to have quite a past together. Not to mention the fact that she might be falling for him all over again. Please read and review! I must have reviews! Can't...live...without...them! *gasp*