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Chapter 7: A Young Boy's Guilt
Marc lay awake late into the night, afraid that Lu might wake up and he wouldn't hear her. He glanced over at his mother, who seemed to be resting quietly. Just then he heard the sound of the door opening, and Dana came in quietly. Marc sat up. "Dr. Stowe?"
"Yeah, it's me, Marc. How come you're still awake?" Dana whispered, not wanting to wake Lu.
"I can't sleep. I'm afraid that Mom will wake up and I won't hear her. How come you're here so late? I thought you left."
"I just wanted to make sure everything is okay here." Dana said softly. She had gotten off work hours earlier and had gone home, but had come back to make sure that Lu and her son were okay for the night. "Are you sure you're okay, Marc?" Dana asked.
"Yeah." Marc answered. But even in the darkness, Dana could tell by the heaviness of his voice that he was close to tears. She quickly glanced at Lu as she made her way over to where Marc was sitting on his cot, pulling up a chair and sitting between the two beds. "Feel like talking?"
"Yeah, sure. I guess." Marc answered. "She'll get better, right?" He asked.
"Of course she will, Marc. We'll be watching her closely." Dana answered.
"Hey…what's going…on?" Lu whispered.
"You should be asleep, Lu." Dana said softly. "How do you feel?"
"Like I…want to…get this…darn tube…thing out…of my…throat." Dana couldn't help but smile. Lu was not known for her patience.
"I know it's uncomfortable, Lu. But we've got to drain those lungs. You know…" Suddenly, Lu began shaking and thrashing around. Dana bolted out of her chair and quickly turned Lu onto her side. Mar stood up, frightened.
"Dr. Stowe, what's wrong with her?"
"She's having a seizure, Marc." Dana replied. "She'll come out of it in a few minutes. She'll be okay."
"She's never had a seizure before." Marc said quietly. "What caused it? I thought only people with epilepsy had seizures?"
"Well, Marc. Other things can cause seizures too, like head injuries, high fevers. Sometimes people just have seizures for unknown reasons. And that's what you mom had just now…a seizure with no apparent cause."
"Will she be okay?" Marc asked. Dana nodded.
"Yeah, she'll be okay, Marc. When a person comes out of a seizure, they are very tired. So she will sleep."
"How long does it usually last?" He asked.
"Usually only a few minutes. But there are cases in which the patient continues to seize for 5 minutes or more. In cases like that, we would give them valium to bring them out of it. But your mom is coming out of it now, so you won't need to worry about that." Dana hoped she sounded convincing to Marc.
"Do you think she'll have one of those seizures where it lasts 5 minutes?" Marc questioned.
"I don't think so, Marc. But if she does, I'll know what to do. Trust me." Dana said as she checked Lu's pulse.
"I trust you, Dr. Stowe. It's just that…well, I don't understand why all this is happening to her. What did she do to deserve all this?"
"Your mom did nothing to deserve this, Marc. Okay? These things just happen." Dana replied, reassuring Marc once again that his mother would be okay.
"First the rape, and now this. If only I…" Dana turned to face him, interrupting.
"Marc, listen to me. None of this is your fault. Not the rape. Not the pneumonia. Not the seizure. None of it. You can't blame yourself."
"But I do blame myself, Dr. Stowe. I should have been there for her, and I wasn't there. She needed my help and I wasn't there. I can't let her go through this alone. I just can't, Dr. Stowe. You know what I mean? I love my mom, and I should have been there trying to protect her instead of being out with my friends. I should have been home by 9 like she said. If I had been,. She wouldn't have been raped and we could go on with our lives." Marc said, tears streaming down his face. When Dana was sure that Lu had come out of the seizure and had gone to sleep, she sat down on the cot next to Marc, putting her arm around him.
"Marc, I know how much you love your mom. And what happened to her that night was a terrible thing. But it was not your fault. Or hers. There is only one person to blame, and that's Kilner. Noone could have possibly known what he was going to do that night. And Marc, the healing process is a long one. It could take years. You can't keep blaming yourself."
"I know, Dr. Stowe. But it's very hard for me not to blame myself because I wasn't there for her, ya know?"
"Yeah, I know Marc." Dana suddenly realized why Marc felt it was so important to stay with Lu now in the hospital…because he hadn't been there for her the night she had been raped.
"Dr. Stowe, I wanted to make up lost time with Mom because I wasn't there that night, and we had planned on doing something fun together. I behaved like a real jerk, accusing her of putting her patients first and just blowing me off." Marc said as Dana listened.
"I think it's great Marc, that you and your mom do fun things together. When she gets out of here, she'll need to take a few days off. That would be a great time for the two of you to spend time together."
"Yeah, I guess. How much time will she need to take off?" Marc asked.
"I'd like her to take at least a week, maybe two." Dana answered.
"In…your dreams." Lu said, her voice barely above a whisper. Dana glanced over at Lu, surprised that she was awake.
"Oh you are awake. Your son and I were just talking. Is that okay?" Dana asked.
"Sure, that's…fine." Lu answered, trying to speak despite the breathing tube.
"What…are…you doing…here anyway? Isn't it…kinda late?"
"I just wanted to see how you and Marc were doing. Well, it's late. And you need to get some sleep, Lu. I want to run some tests tomorrow." Lu slowly closed her eyes, unable to keep them open any longer. "Okay…tests tomorrow." She murmured as her exhausted body gave way to sleep.
Chapter 7: A Young Boy's Guilt
Marc lay awake late into the night, afraid that Lu might wake up and he wouldn't hear her. He glanced over at his mother, who seemed to be resting quietly. Just then he heard the sound of the door opening, and Dana came in quietly. Marc sat up. "Dr. Stowe?"
"Yeah, it's me, Marc. How come you're still awake?" Dana whispered, not wanting to wake Lu.
"I can't sleep. I'm afraid that Mom will wake up and I won't hear her. How come you're here so late? I thought you left."
"I just wanted to make sure everything is okay here." Dana said softly. She had gotten off work hours earlier and had gone home, but had come back to make sure that Lu and her son were okay for the night. "Are you sure you're okay, Marc?" Dana asked.
"Yeah." Marc answered. But even in the darkness, Dana could tell by the heaviness of his voice that he was close to tears. She quickly glanced at Lu as she made her way over to where Marc was sitting on his cot, pulling up a chair and sitting between the two beds. "Feel like talking?"
"Yeah, sure. I guess." Marc answered. "She'll get better, right?" He asked.
"Of course she will, Marc. We'll be watching her closely." Dana answered.
"Hey…what's going…on?" Lu whispered.
"You should be asleep, Lu." Dana said softly. "How do you feel?"
"Like I…want to…get this…darn tube…thing out…of my…throat." Dana couldn't help but smile. Lu was not known for her patience.
"I know it's uncomfortable, Lu. But we've got to drain those lungs. You know…" Suddenly, Lu began shaking and thrashing around. Dana bolted out of her chair and quickly turned Lu onto her side. Mar stood up, frightened.
"Dr. Stowe, what's wrong with her?"
"She's having a seizure, Marc." Dana replied. "She'll come out of it in a few minutes. She'll be okay."
"She's never had a seizure before." Marc said quietly. "What caused it? I thought only people with epilepsy had seizures?"
"Well, Marc. Other things can cause seizures too, like head injuries, high fevers. Sometimes people just have seizures for unknown reasons. And that's what you mom had just now…a seizure with no apparent cause."
"Will she be okay?" Marc asked. Dana nodded.
"Yeah, she'll be okay, Marc. When a person comes out of a seizure, they are very tired. So she will sleep."
"How long does it usually last?" He asked.
"Usually only a few minutes. But there are cases in which the patient continues to seize for 5 minutes or more. In cases like that, we would give them valium to bring them out of it. But your mom is coming out of it now, so you won't need to worry about that." Dana hoped she sounded convincing to Marc.
"Do you think she'll have one of those seizures where it lasts 5 minutes?" Marc questioned.
"I don't think so, Marc. But if she does, I'll know what to do. Trust me." Dana said as she checked Lu's pulse.
"I trust you, Dr. Stowe. It's just that…well, I don't understand why all this is happening to her. What did she do to deserve all this?"
"Your mom did nothing to deserve this, Marc. Okay? These things just happen." Dana replied, reassuring Marc once again that his mother would be okay.
"First the rape, and now this. If only I…" Dana turned to face him, interrupting.
"Marc, listen to me. None of this is your fault. Not the rape. Not the pneumonia. Not the seizure. None of it. You can't blame yourself."
"But I do blame myself, Dr. Stowe. I should have been there for her, and I wasn't there. She needed my help and I wasn't there. I can't let her go through this alone. I just can't, Dr. Stowe. You know what I mean? I love my mom, and I should have been there trying to protect her instead of being out with my friends. I should have been home by 9 like she said. If I had been,. She wouldn't have been raped and we could go on with our lives." Marc said, tears streaming down his face. When Dana was sure that Lu had come out of the seizure and had gone to sleep, she sat down on the cot next to Marc, putting her arm around him.
"Marc, I know how much you love your mom. And what happened to her that night was a terrible thing. But it was not your fault. Or hers. There is only one person to blame, and that's Kilner. Noone could have possibly known what he was going to do that night. And Marc, the healing process is a long one. It could take years. You can't keep blaming yourself."
"I know, Dr. Stowe. But it's very hard for me not to blame myself because I wasn't there for her, ya know?"
"Yeah, I know Marc." Dana suddenly realized why Marc felt it was so important to stay with Lu now in the hospital…because he hadn't been there for her the night she had been raped.
"Dr. Stowe, I wanted to make up lost time with Mom because I wasn't there that night, and we had planned on doing something fun together. I behaved like a real jerk, accusing her of putting her patients first and just blowing me off." Marc said as Dana listened.
"I think it's great Marc, that you and your mom do fun things together. When she gets out of here, she'll need to take a few days off. That would be a great time for the two of you to spend time together."
"Yeah, I guess. How much time will she need to take off?" Marc asked.
"I'd like her to take at least a week, maybe two." Dana answered.
"In…your dreams." Lu said, her voice barely above a whisper. Dana glanced over at Lu, surprised that she was awake.
"Oh you are awake. Your son and I were just talking. Is that okay?" Dana asked.
"Sure, that's…fine." Lu answered, trying to speak despite the breathing tube.
"What…are…you doing…here anyway? Isn't it…kinda late?"
"I just wanted to see how you and Marc were doing. Well, it's late. And you need to get some sleep, Lu. I want to run some tests tomorrow." Lu slowly closed her eyes, unable to keep them open any longer. "Okay…tests tomorrow." She murmured as her exhausted body gave way to sleep.