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Chapter 10: Lana's Lecture
Lana quietly slipped into Lu's room. It was nearly 6pm, and she was getting ready to leave the clinic. She wanted to spend a few minutes with her friend before leaving. She found Marc sitting on his cot doing his homework.
"Hey, Kid. You look like you could use a break. How about going upstairs and grabbing a bite to eat? I'd like to visit with your mother for awhile." Marc closed his history book, and smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Lana. I am kinda hungry. I won't be gone long."
"Take your time, Marc. You've been sitting her all day. Take some time for yourself. I'll stay here with her until you get back."
"Thanks, again." Marc hurried out the door. Lana pulled up a chair, sitting beside her friend's bed. She sat there in silence for a moment, just checking out the scene before her.
"Hey Lu. It's Lana. I was just leaving, but I wanted to see you first." Lu slowly opened her eyes, then smiled faintly at her friend. "Lana?" she whispered.
"Yeah, it's me. How ya doin?"
"It hurts…to breathe." Lu struggled with the words. "Marc…"
"I sent him upstairs to grab something to eat. Besides, I thought he could use a break." Lu nodded.
"Yeah. Poor…kid. He…he shouldn't…be here. He should stay…with his…father. If I don't…make it…" Lana didn't like where the conversation was going, and quickly interrupted. "What are you talking about, Lu? Of course you're going to make it. Dr. Stowe wouldn't have it any other way. She won't let you die. You know that. Now you listen to Lana, and you listen good." Lana paused briefly, wanting to make sure she had Lu's full attention. Lu was staring at her.
"You are a fighter, Lu. And you are a survivor. Not many people can say they have survived what you have been through during your lifetime.
"Lana…" Lana held up her hand to quiet her.
"I'm not finished yet, doc. Your mother died when you were a kid, your father walked out on you, you grew up with your grandmother, you grew up in the streets, you put yourself through med school, you are raising a son all by yourself, you survived a brutal rape that came close to destroying your life, but you came back and fought…and you won. Now, are you going to let something like this bacterial pneumonia beat you? Your son needs you, Lu. You need to fight to beat this. If not for yourself, for your son. Well all love you, Lu." Lu closed her eyes as streamed down her cheeks. "Lana…don't want to…die. Not…strong enough…to fight." Lana raised her eyebrows.
"Excuse me? Did I just hear you right? Luisa Delgado not strong enough to fight? Then you are definitely not the Lu Delgado I have known for years. She would have fought like a cat for anything." Unknown to either of them, Dana had come into the room and had heard the entire conversation. "Lana…" Lana turned around. "Dr. Stowe, I didn't hear you come in. I was…"
"I know what you were doing, Lana. It's okay."
"I gotta go now, Lu. I'll see you tomorrow." Lu nodded slowly.
"Bye…Lana."
"Bye, Lana." Dana smiled at the receptionist as she left the room. Dana walked over to the bed. "Hi Lu. Let's see how you're doing tonight."
"I'd feel…better if…you would take…this…tube out…of my throat." Lu said softly.
"And I will will take it out as soon as I'm sure that your lungs won't fill up again. I know it's uncomfortable, Lu. But there's not much else I can do. You know that."
"Dana…I…don't need…this thing." Dana folded her arms across her chest.
"Oh right, Lu. You're not sick. So what do you need the tube for? You weren't having trouble breathing when I got to your apartment yesterday. I forgot…you are feeling just fine." Lu tried to hide her faint smile.
"Funny…Dana." Dana smiled.
"Lu, I gotta tell ya. You are an excellent doctor…but you are a terrible patient. You don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot, do you?"
"No…I don't. I am…going to be…okay…right?"
"Lu, I am doing everything I can to make sure that you will be okay. And in order for me to do that, I am going to need a bit of cooperation from you. And I don't mean just while you are here at RWHC. I also mean when you get home."
"Such…as?" Lu questioned. Dana sat down in the chair beside the bed, taking Lu's wrist to check her pulse. "Well, for starters you are going to take some time off. You are going to stay home and get some much needed rest."
"Come…on, Dana. Who…do you think you're…talking to anyway? You know…" Dana smiled, realizing that at that moment she had the power to get Lu to do what she wanted, what was best for her. "Lu, I know you're not going to like it. But it's for your own good. I have to insist that you take at least a week off. Then I want you to come back in and let me check you out. If I think you're doing okay, you can come back to work." Lu shook her head slowly.
"Dana…a week?"
"Yes, Lu. A week. Just to be safe."
"And what am…I supposed to do for…a week?"
"Read the newspaper, crossword puzzles, whatever. I just want you to get some rest. You will either agree to follow my orders, or I will just keep you in the hospital where I can watch you. You know you need to get some rest if you are going to get well. I really don't like the idea of you being home alone while Marc in school, though."
"What? You…don't trust me…to follow your orders?" Lu asked. Dana shook her head. "Sorry, Lu. But have you ever followed my orders before? Maybe if you had the o ther day when I told you to go home, instead of spending the day working in the ER, we could have caught it before it got so bad."
"Well, I'm sorry, Dana. I can't help…the way I am." Dana smiled.
"I know that, Lu. And it's because of the way you are that makes you a terrific doctor. You care about your patients, and will do whatever it takes to help them. But sometimes you need to do things for yourself. You have been through so much, and the only time you took off was when Bob forced you to take a leave of absence. You tried so hard to hide the pain and hurt. But we could all see it, Lu. You hid the truth from your patients. You did your best for them even though you were torn apart inside. Your patients are so very lucky to have someone like you, Lu." Lu was silent for a moment as she thought about what Dana had said. "It still hurts, Dana." Lu said softly.
"I keep…asking…myself when…will the pain…go away? When will it…stop hurting? Will I ever…stop feeling…like this, Dana?"
"Of course you will, Lu. But it will take lots of time. No one expects you to get over it just like that." Dana tried to reassure her friend.
"You know what…really makes me angry?" Lu asked.
"What's that?" Dana questioned.
"Kilner didn't get…anything for what…he did to me…that night. In just 5 minutes he…" Lu paused and closed her eyes as the memories of that awful night came flooding back to her. Dana placed her hand on Lu's arm, speaking gently. "Lu, what Kilner did to you was unforgiveable. And yes, he should have been punished. But he wasn't. And you've been punishing yourself. What he did was not your fault, Lu. Rape is never a woman's fault. Ever. You know that. I've heard you tell rape victims that very thing many times."
"Then why…do I feel…like I did…something to cause…him to do it?" Lu asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Dana shook her head, but remained silent. What could she say? What could anyone say? At that moment, Dana's beeper went off. She quickly glanced at it. "Lu, it's the ER. I've got to go. But I will be back when I finish down there. You try to get some rest." Dana took one last look at Lu, then ran from the room.
Chapter 10: Lana's Lecture
Lana quietly slipped into Lu's room. It was nearly 6pm, and she was getting ready to leave the clinic. She wanted to spend a few minutes with her friend before leaving. She found Marc sitting on his cot doing his homework.
"Hey, Kid. You look like you could use a break. How about going upstairs and grabbing a bite to eat? I'd like to visit with your mother for awhile." Marc closed his history book, and smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Lana. I am kinda hungry. I won't be gone long."
"Take your time, Marc. You've been sitting her all day. Take some time for yourself. I'll stay here with her until you get back."
"Thanks, again." Marc hurried out the door. Lana pulled up a chair, sitting beside her friend's bed. She sat there in silence for a moment, just checking out the scene before her.
"Hey Lu. It's Lana. I was just leaving, but I wanted to see you first." Lu slowly opened her eyes, then smiled faintly at her friend. "Lana?" she whispered.
"Yeah, it's me. How ya doin?"
"It hurts…to breathe." Lu struggled with the words. "Marc…"
"I sent him upstairs to grab something to eat. Besides, I thought he could use a break." Lu nodded.
"Yeah. Poor…kid. He…he shouldn't…be here. He should stay…with his…father. If I don't…make it…" Lana didn't like where the conversation was going, and quickly interrupted. "What are you talking about, Lu? Of course you're going to make it. Dr. Stowe wouldn't have it any other way. She won't let you die. You know that. Now you listen to Lana, and you listen good." Lana paused briefly, wanting to make sure she had Lu's full attention. Lu was staring at her.
"You are a fighter, Lu. And you are a survivor. Not many people can say they have survived what you have been through during your lifetime.
"Lana…" Lana held up her hand to quiet her.
"I'm not finished yet, doc. Your mother died when you were a kid, your father walked out on you, you grew up with your grandmother, you grew up in the streets, you put yourself through med school, you are raising a son all by yourself, you survived a brutal rape that came close to destroying your life, but you came back and fought…and you won. Now, are you going to let something like this bacterial pneumonia beat you? Your son needs you, Lu. You need to fight to beat this. If not for yourself, for your son. Well all love you, Lu." Lu closed her eyes as streamed down her cheeks. "Lana…don't want to…die. Not…strong enough…to fight." Lana raised her eyebrows.
"Excuse me? Did I just hear you right? Luisa Delgado not strong enough to fight? Then you are definitely not the Lu Delgado I have known for years. She would have fought like a cat for anything." Unknown to either of them, Dana had come into the room and had heard the entire conversation. "Lana…" Lana turned around. "Dr. Stowe, I didn't hear you come in. I was…"
"I know what you were doing, Lana. It's okay."
"I gotta go now, Lu. I'll see you tomorrow." Lu nodded slowly.
"Bye…Lana."
"Bye, Lana." Dana smiled at the receptionist as she left the room. Dana walked over to the bed. "Hi Lu. Let's see how you're doing tonight."
"I'd feel…better if…you would take…this…tube out…of my throat." Lu said softly.
"And I will will take it out as soon as I'm sure that your lungs won't fill up again. I know it's uncomfortable, Lu. But there's not much else I can do. You know that."
"Dana…I…don't need…this thing." Dana folded her arms across her chest.
"Oh right, Lu. You're not sick. So what do you need the tube for? You weren't having trouble breathing when I got to your apartment yesterday. I forgot…you are feeling just fine." Lu tried to hide her faint smile.
"Funny…Dana." Dana smiled.
"Lu, I gotta tell ya. You are an excellent doctor…but you are a terrible patient. You don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot, do you?"
"No…I don't. I am…going to be…okay…right?"
"Lu, I am doing everything I can to make sure that you will be okay. And in order for me to do that, I am going to need a bit of cooperation from you. And I don't mean just while you are here at RWHC. I also mean when you get home."
"Such…as?" Lu questioned. Dana sat down in the chair beside the bed, taking Lu's wrist to check her pulse. "Well, for starters you are going to take some time off. You are going to stay home and get some much needed rest."
"Come…on, Dana. Who…do you think you're…talking to anyway? You know…" Dana smiled, realizing that at that moment she had the power to get Lu to do what she wanted, what was best for her. "Lu, I know you're not going to like it. But it's for your own good. I have to insist that you take at least a week off. Then I want you to come back in and let me check you out. If I think you're doing okay, you can come back to work." Lu shook her head slowly.
"Dana…a week?"
"Yes, Lu. A week. Just to be safe."
"And what am…I supposed to do for…a week?"
"Read the newspaper, crossword puzzles, whatever. I just want you to get some rest. You will either agree to follow my orders, or I will just keep you in the hospital where I can watch you. You know you need to get some rest if you are going to get well. I really don't like the idea of you being home alone while Marc in school, though."
"What? You…don't trust me…to follow your orders?" Lu asked. Dana shook her head. "Sorry, Lu. But have you ever followed my orders before? Maybe if you had the o ther day when I told you to go home, instead of spending the day working in the ER, we could have caught it before it got so bad."
"Well, I'm sorry, Dana. I can't help…the way I am." Dana smiled.
"I know that, Lu. And it's because of the way you are that makes you a terrific doctor. You care about your patients, and will do whatever it takes to help them. But sometimes you need to do things for yourself. You have been through so much, and the only time you took off was when Bob forced you to take a leave of absence. You tried so hard to hide the pain and hurt. But we could all see it, Lu. You hid the truth from your patients. You did your best for them even though you were torn apart inside. Your patients are so very lucky to have someone like you, Lu." Lu was silent for a moment as she thought about what Dana had said. "It still hurts, Dana." Lu said softly.
"I keep…asking…myself when…will the pain…go away? When will it…stop hurting? Will I ever…stop feeling…like this, Dana?"
"Of course you will, Lu. But it will take lots of time. No one expects you to get over it just like that." Dana tried to reassure her friend.
"You know what…really makes me angry?" Lu asked.
"What's that?" Dana questioned.
"Kilner didn't get…anything for what…he did to me…that night. In just 5 minutes he…" Lu paused and closed her eyes as the memories of that awful night came flooding back to her. Dana placed her hand on Lu's arm, speaking gently. "Lu, what Kilner did to you was unforgiveable. And yes, he should have been punished. But he wasn't. And you've been punishing yourself. What he did was not your fault, Lu. Rape is never a woman's fault. Ever. You know that. I've heard you tell rape victims that very thing many times."
"Then why…do I feel…like I did…something to cause…him to do it?" Lu asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Dana shook her head, but remained silent. What could she say? What could anyone say? At that moment, Dana's beeper went off. She quickly glanced at it. "Lu, it's the ER. I've got to go. But I will be back when I finish down there. You try to get some rest." Dana took one last look at Lu, then ran from the room.