Men In Tights
CHLOE
Drinks before dinner, and Bruce is talking sports with Clark and Peter. Lex eyes them speculatively.
"Oh, yeah." I lean back into his chest. "You, my darling, are the only man in this room who doesn't wear spandex on a regular basis."
"Do -they- know?" Lex gets the worst kind of smile on his face. The one that means trouble, the way only his sense of humour knows how. "So - Clark knows that we know, Peter knows that you know, but not that I do. Bruce doesn't know that you know, and none of them know about the others. And we have Lois Lane, without a clue."
"That would sum it up nicely. Don't you dare do anything to wreck my wedding day tomorrow, Alexander Luthor."
"-Our- wedding day. I waited long enough, sweetheart - I wouldn't dream of it." His gaze drifts back across the room. His smile widens. "It's so damn funny, though."
Only we could have this kind of wedding day. My family at least are normal - in the low-level bickering sense. Then we have the best man (alien superhero), the chief usher (costumed weirdo) and the photographer (costumed mutant). The fact that they make Lex look like a normal human being is frankly scary. We also have the best investigative team in Metropolis journalism, one of whom hasn't realised that her partner is a) the superhero she's been crushing on for the last six months, and b) nuts about her. It's like some bizarre French farce, only with tights.
Lex thinks it's hilarious.
CLARK
I look over at the happy couple. They are happy, too. Nobody else makes Lex laugh like that. I find myself looking for Lois. She's been stalking Bruce Wayne for an interview, though I told her we were here in a private capacity. Besides, I think Chloe already has him sewn up.
***
~"Mr Parker?"
Peter looks round, then down at the predatory smile in the wheelchair. Absolutely silent running on the damn thing.
"Mr Luthor."
"I believe we have an acquaintance in common?"
Turns out that Lionel and Norman Osborn were at college together and isn't this a nice comfortable conversation? He wishes Em were here -she's so much better at these social things.
Rescued by another familiar face, and there's more money within three feet of him than he cares to think about. Bruce Wayne, still being trailed by the Planet duo.~
LEX
Dad's running true to form. I think he just propositioned Lois, by the look on her face. Clark and I both move at the same time, before we have a bloodbath. Separate them and I get a chance to have a talk with Good ol' Dad.
"Am I going to have to send you back to Kane in a bodycast this time?"
***
~Bruce and Peter exchange glances. Mutually turn and head for the drinks table.
"Aren't the Luthors a fun bunch?"
"Script by Aeschylus."
"Decor by Addams."
"I like it." Bruce looks around. "Homey."
Peter shakes his head.
"You rich people are odd." Sudden twinge at the back of his head, just as a beeper goes off in Bruce's pocket.
"Have to go...phone call."
"Yeah...see you."~
***
~Bruce stops striding down the corridor, stares suspiciously at the drink in his hand. Lex wouldn't pull one of his head-fucks at his own wedding, would he? But did he really just see someone run -up- past the window? Time to worry about that later. One of the alarms has been breached.~
CLARK
Lois, spitting tacks, and I just realised that I can't stay within conversational range of Lionel. He knows it, too.
Bruce has slipped out of the room. So has Peter. Lex appears at my shoulder.
"Break-in on the perimeter." he says, quietly.
"Do you want me to...?" Can't offer to go and look, because Lois is at my elbow.
"Oh, I think it's covered." And there is something about the way that he's grinning that makes me very suspicious.
I'm going to take a little fly-by later.
***
~Collins was nervous. Smallville had a bad reputation amongst the Inquisitor staff. So did the Luthors. No-one had ever found out what had really happened to Roger Nixon. But this was the wedding of the year.
He angled his camera for the shot. Found the lens full of red and blue.
Not the flying one. Some clown in a wrestling costume. Hanging upside down out of a tree.
"You've got the wrong focus stepped on that." said the figure conversationally. Some kind of net, and the camera's - gone.~
***
~Cheerio magazine couldn't believe its luck when the Journal crashed and burned last year. Now they have the monopoly on society scandal. This will -make- the 'zine. Powalsky wriggles forward to where Cameron is setting up the long lens.
The night-sight swings up.
"Oh shit!"
Part of the night is glaring back at them.~
***
~Peter flattens himself against the ceiling, cringes. He hates being caught like this. The sexual tension below him is giving his spider sense a headache. He took the quickest way back to his room after his little excursion, now he's praying neither of them look up. Takes a step backwards...~
CLARK
Look up. Know Lois is about to. Do the only thing I can think of to distract her.
LOIS
He kissed me! Clark Kent kissed me.
CLARK
It works. Rather too well. Distracts me too. And by the time I remember why I was doing it, the costumed guy has disappeared. What the hell is Spiderman doing running along the ceiling?
LOIS
He kissed me! I kissed him! And then he took off without even an excuse this time!
***
~He's not used to people going past him. Arm round his waist, and he's been pulled up onto the roof. Springs loose, turns to look down at his pursuer, crouched up on the wall.
"Superman?" Makes sense. No-one else could catch him. This is not going to be the easy gig Sully promised him.~
CLARK
Only one reason a NY-based vigilante would be here. I sigh.
"Peter? It's..."
"Clark?" He looks me up and down. "Nice costume."
"My mother made it."
"I'm starting to wonder how many of us there are here."
"Three." says another voice, and Batman steps impressively out of the shadows.
Three costumed men staring at each other on a rooftop.
"Are you here for the wedding?" asks one cautiously.
"Yes."
"Bride or Groom?"
"Bruce?!"
"Clark?!"
Sitting on the roof. Drinking beer. Bruce has pulled his mask back, become - Bruce again, as opposed to whatever possesses him. Peter has also pulled his mask off. I don't have a mask, and they can't believe that no-one has noticed. Try explaining.
"It's the...tights."
Peter nods.
"Yeah. Nobody looks at your face when you're all...brightly-coloured."
Bruce looks down at his black.
"I don't have that problem."
Try to picture Batman in blue tights. Fail. Snigger. Peter nets another beer.
"The glasses are a nice touch. But you mean that Lois hasn't noticed?"
"No."
"Em busted me quite quickly." Peter sounds smug. I glare at the bottle in his hand, until it shatters.
"Another reason for the glasses."
"Who does know?" Bruce has a look of deep suspicion on his face. It dawns on me why.
"My folks. Chloe...and Lex."
Bruce sighs.
"Thought he might. Found him in the Batcave a while ago."
"Has he always been a pain in the ass?"
"He was worse at school."
Peter grins.
"Sully caught me out in NY years back."
"I grew up with the pair of them." I have to smile. "Nosy critters. I think we might be helping security along here."
"They need it." Bruce snorts. "Bloody press get in everywhere."
"Hey!"
Pete and I get to talking work. Find out that Bruce knows Vicki Vale, the bane of the NY internship that Peter and Chloe met on. Rag him for not having a proper job.
"I do have a proper job." Bruce is offended.
"Yeah, right." Peter has all the cynicism of the newsroom. "Bet you even have someone to iron your cape."
All three of us look up when we hear rotors.
"They're not on the guest-list." says Bruce. I grin.
"This one's mine."
***
~"Look, I'm just another media guy - she's not going to be deflected by me. Only way Clark's going to get cover is..."
"Okay, okay." Bruce cringes, but shoulders his burden manfully. Steps into the room.
"Good evening, Ms Lane."~
***
~The Metro-News eye-in-the-sky chopper is experiencing technical difficulties. Namely someone hovering in front of them with his arms folded. He points back towards the city.~
***
LOIS
I got my interview, but I couldn't find Clark. The first time I ever wanted to share a triumph. All this sentiment is slopping over on me. And I want to bust his chops about that kiss.
CHLOE
Drinks before dinner, and Bruce is talking sports with Clark and Peter. Lex eyes them speculatively.
"Oh, yeah." I lean back into his chest. "You, my darling, are the only man in this room who doesn't wear spandex on a regular basis."
"Do -they- know?" Lex gets the worst kind of smile on his face. The one that means trouble, the way only his sense of humour knows how. "So - Clark knows that we know, Peter knows that you know, but not that I do. Bruce doesn't know that you know, and none of them know about the others. And we have Lois Lane, without a clue."
"That would sum it up nicely. Don't you dare do anything to wreck my wedding day tomorrow, Alexander Luthor."
"-Our- wedding day. I waited long enough, sweetheart - I wouldn't dream of it." His gaze drifts back across the room. His smile widens. "It's so damn funny, though."
Only we could have this kind of wedding day. My family at least are normal - in the low-level bickering sense. Then we have the best man (alien superhero), the chief usher (costumed weirdo) and the photographer (costumed mutant). The fact that they make Lex look like a normal human being is frankly scary. We also have the best investigative team in Metropolis journalism, one of whom hasn't realised that her partner is a) the superhero she's been crushing on for the last six months, and b) nuts about her. It's like some bizarre French farce, only with tights.
Lex thinks it's hilarious.
CLARK
I look over at the happy couple. They are happy, too. Nobody else makes Lex laugh like that. I find myself looking for Lois. She's been stalking Bruce Wayne for an interview, though I told her we were here in a private capacity. Besides, I think Chloe already has him sewn up.
***
~"Mr Parker?"
Peter looks round, then down at the predatory smile in the wheelchair. Absolutely silent running on the damn thing.
"Mr Luthor."
"I believe we have an acquaintance in common?"
Turns out that Lionel and Norman Osborn were at college together and isn't this a nice comfortable conversation? He wishes Em were here -she's so much better at these social things.
Rescued by another familiar face, and there's more money within three feet of him than he cares to think about. Bruce Wayne, still being trailed by the Planet duo.~
LEX
Dad's running true to form. I think he just propositioned Lois, by the look on her face. Clark and I both move at the same time, before we have a bloodbath. Separate them and I get a chance to have a talk with Good ol' Dad.
"Am I going to have to send you back to Kane in a bodycast this time?"
***
~Bruce and Peter exchange glances. Mutually turn and head for the drinks table.
"Aren't the Luthors a fun bunch?"
"Script by Aeschylus."
"Decor by Addams."
"I like it." Bruce looks around. "Homey."
Peter shakes his head.
"You rich people are odd." Sudden twinge at the back of his head, just as a beeper goes off in Bruce's pocket.
"Have to go...phone call."
"Yeah...see you."~
***
~Bruce stops striding down the corridor, stares suspiciously at the drink in his hand. Lex wouldn't pull one of his head-fucks at his own wedding, would he? But did he really just see someone run -up- past the window? Time to worry about that later. One of the alarms has been breached.~
CLARK
Lois, spitting tacks, and I just realised that I can't stay within conversational range of Lionel. He knows it, too.
Bruce has slipped out of the room. So has Peter. Lex appears at my shoulder.
"Break-in on the perimeter." he says, quietly.
"Do you want me to...?" Can't offer to go and look, because Lois is at my elbow.
"Oh, I think it's covered." And there is something about the way that he's grinning that makes me very suspicious.
I'm going to take a little fly-by later.
***
~Collins was nervous. Smallville had a bad reputation amongst the Inquisitor staff. So did the Luthors. No-one had ever found out what had really happened to Roger Nixon. But this was the wedding of the year.
He angled his camera for the shot. Found the lens full of red and blue.
Not the flying one. Some clown in a wrestling costume. Hanging upside down out of a tree.
"You've got the wrong focus stepped on that." said the figure conversationally. Some kind of net, and the camera's - gone.~
***
~Cheerio magazine couldn't believe its luck when the Journal crashed and burned last year. Now they have the monopoly on society scandal. This will -make- the 'zine. Powalsky wriggles forward to where Cameron is setting up the long lens.
The night-sight swings up.
"Oh shit!"
Part of the night is glaring back at them.~
***
~Peter flattens himself against the ceiling, cringes. He hates being caught like this. The sexual tension below him is giving his spider sense a headache. He took the quickest way back to his room after his little excursion, now he's praying neither of them look up. Takes a step backwards...~
CLARK
Look up. Know Lois is about to. Do the only thing I can think of to distract her.
LOIS
He kissed me! Clark Kent kissed me.
CLARK
It works. Rather too well. Distracts me too. And by the time I remember why I was doing it, the costumed guy has disappeared. What the hell is Spiderman doing running along the ceiling?
LOIS
He kissed me! I kissed him! And then he took off without even an excuse this time!
***
~He's not used to people going past him. Arm round his waist, and he's been pulled up onto the roof. Springs loose, turns to look down at his pursuer, crouched up on the wall.
"Superman?" Makes sense. No-one else could catch him. This is not going to be the easy gig Sully promised him.~
CLARK
Only one reason a NY-based vigilante would be here. I sigh.
"Peter? It's..."
"Clark?" He looks me up and down. "Nice costume."
"My mother made it."
"I'm starting to wonder how many of us there are here."
"Three." says another voice, and Batman steps impressively out of the shadows.
Three costumed men staring at each other on a rooftop.
"Are you here for the wedding?" asks one cautiously.
"Yes."
"Bride or Groom?"
"Bruce?!"
"Clark?!"
Sitting on the roof. Drinking beer. Bruce has pulled his mask back, become - Bruce again, as opposed to whatever possesses him. Peter has also pulled his mask off. I don't have a mask, and they can't believe that no-one has noticed. Try explaining.
"It's the...tights."
Peter nods.
"Yeah. Nobody looks at your face when you're all...brightly-coloured."
Bruce looks down at his black.
"I don't have that problem."
Try to picture Batman in blue tights. Fail. Snigger. Peter nets another beer.
"The glasses are a nice touch. But you mean that Lois hasn't noticed?"
"No."
"Em busted me quite quickly." Peter sounds smug. I glare at the bottle in his hand, until it shatters.
"Another reason for the glasses."
"Who does know?" Bruce has a look of deep suspicion on his face. It dawns on me why.
"My folks. Chloe...and Lex."
Bruce sighs.
"Thought he might. Found him in the Batcave a while ago."
"Has he always been a pain in the ass?"
"He was worse at school."
Peter grins.
"Sully caught me out in NY years back."
"I grew up with the pair of them." I have to smile. "Nosy critters. I think we might be helping security along here."
"They need it." Bruce snorts. "Bloody press get in everywhere."
"Hey!"
Pete and I get to talking work. Find out that Bruce knows Vicki Vale, the bane of the NY internship that Peter and Chloe met on. Rag him for not having a proper job.
"I do have a proper job." Bruce is offended.
"Yeah, right." Peter has all the cynicism of the newsroom. "Bet you even have someone to iron your cape."
All three of us look up when we hear rotors.
"They're not on the guest-list." says Bruce. I grin.
"This one's mine."
***
~"Look, I'm just another media guy - she's not going to be deflected by me. Only way Clark's going to get cover is..."
"Okay, okay." Bruce cringes, but shoulders his burden manfully. Steps into the room.
"Good evening, Ms Lane."~
***
~The Metro-News eye-in-the-sky chopper is experiencing technical difficulties. Namely someone hovering in front of them with his arms folded. He points back towards the city.~
***
LOIS
I got my interview, but I couldn't find Clark. The first time I ever wanted to share a triumph. All this sentiment is slopping over on me. And I want to bust his chops about that kiss.