Notes: I don't even know whether this part makes sense or not. ___ And I have no idea what's going to happen next. Suggestions welcome.

"Mummy…" Remus' small, choked voice took James by surprise; he started slightly, transferring his alarm to Remus, who moaned gently. "Mummy, I'm sorry."

"I… I'm not your Mum," James said, slightly frantic with all of the emotion Remus was piling on him.

"Mummy." This time the boy's voice was an unsure whisper. James sighed and held Remus closer, brushing several locks of hair out of the paths of angelic eyes.

"Want me to pretend to be your Mummy?" Remus' eyes widened at the prospect. "Just for tonight… until you fall asleep." James was rewarded with a tense nod. "You can stay the night in my bed, if you like." Remus nodded again, and James found himself smiling inwardly. He'd always been a little in awe of quiet, intellectual, mysterious Remus Lupin; it was such a treat to feel as connected to him as James did at that moment. Remus had always seemed somewhat far away from the rest of the group. Above, below, or to the side… but never truly a part of it. Now James could feel the acceptance, could feel the body heat, the tears, and the blood that made Remus as human as the rest of them.

Well… almost. Remus' lycanthropy didn't bother James so much as did the savagery that stemmed from the condition. While Remus normally radiated benevolence, the scars on his arms revealed a further sadistic and animal side to his personality. And, suddenly, James could clearly recall instances when Remus had been very angry, pupils narrowed to tiny slits, voice cold and distant. Previously, he'd just brushed the tantrums aside, but all of a sudden they began to take on a new meaning. James swallowed hard, bit his lower lip, and pulled Remus closer. He thought back and realized that after every fight, every confrontation, every faint moment of unhappiness that had affected Remus, the other boy had disappeared for a short time.

Does he always leave so that he can hurt himself? I just don't understand. Has he ever done anything to himself after I said something? God, I hope not…

Gently, he helped Remus to lie down comfortably, pushing the troublesome thoughts from his head. His friend clung to his bare chest weakly, and James found himself more frightened than when Remus had been hysterical and bleeding. There was something disturbing about hearing Remus' tearful pleas for his mother. James hated the helpless feeling that always gnawed at the pit of his stomach whenever tears were imminent.

"So…" James said softly, stroking the top of Remus' head and twirling gentle curls around his fingers. Remus' hair was silky and smooth, but not quite girlish. It didn't smell perfume-y for one thing. James inhaled offhandedly and could smell the very normal scent of hair and a very faint scent of iced tea. "Did your Mum ever used to do anything to help you sleep? Like… tell you a story or something?"

For a moment: silence. And then, out of the blue: "She'd sing to me."

James gulped. "Lullabies?" He felt the nod beneath his hands.

"Yes…"

"Anything specific?" James looked down and saw Remus' large eyes blinking appraisingly at him. "That I would know, anyway…"

"The only one I can remember is 'All Through The Night'," Remus stared into James' blank expression. "It goes 'Sleep my child and peace attend thee, all through the night…'"

"Yeah! Yes, I know that one," James was excited, feeling like he could finally make at least a mild contribution. "Ok… wait, how does it start?... No, no. I've got it." And then he began to sing to the best of his ability, humming whenever he forgot the words.

Halfway through the second verse, Remus rolled over, grabbed a pillow, and shoved it over James' mouth.

"Hey!" The other boy cried out indignantly, tossing the pillow aside with a lazy hand, as Remus rolled on to his back and smothered his giggles with both hands. "Hey, I'm not that awful, am I?"

"Completely off-key," Remus snorted with laughter, "Completely wrong notes, and you didn't know most of the words!"

James grinned. "Yeah… but I made you laugh." Remus smiled and sighed.

"Yeah, you did." He rolled onto his stomach stared at the folds in the bedspread intently, pushing them into abstract designs with his fingertips. "My Mum sings very well."

James pushed himself onto his side and stared soberly at Remus. "Does she?"

"Yeah… but she won't sing for me anymore." Remus sniffed. "My Mum and Dad… I think they love me… but I think they're a bit scared of me as well." A pair of dull, overcast brown eyes turned on James. "I don't want people to be scared of me."

"I know," James whispered, inching himself over so that he could lie beside Remus. The two boys were silent for a moment, and James hesitantly reached one hand out to rub Remus' back. "So… really. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

There was a long pause. "I already told you, I don't really think-"

"Oh, come off it, Remus." James frowned. "I know there's something out there you want to do, whether you plan on actually doing it or not."

"Teach," Remus answered after a minute of tense quiet. "I think I'd enjoy teaching."

"Here at Hogwarts?" James felt a shrug of response beneath his hand.

"I don't know… maybe. Maybe not."

"What subject?" James curled his hand slightly so that his fingernails could scratch lightly and soothingly up and down his friend's back.

"Any subject, I think. Particularly Defense Against the Dark Arts." James nodded.

"Yeah, you're really good in that class. 'Course, you're good at pretty much everything…" Remus snorted.

"No, I'm not… I can't play Quidditch to save my life."

James grinned and rose to his knees. "Ah, but Monsieur Moony!" He affected a bad French accent that caused Remus to bury his head in his hands and snicker. "You do not need zees… 'Quidditch' that you speak of! Eet ees below your station!" With a final gasp of haughtiness, James clasped both hands over his heart and fell backwards onto the soft, springiness of the bed.

Remus stared back at James, smiling crookedly. "Well…"

"Well?" James sat up. "Like my performance?"

"First class actor, you are," With a yawn, Remus stretched his arms over his head. James repositioned himself so he was, again, lying by his friend.

"But honestly…" James wiggled until he was suitably comfortable. "You want to be a teacher?"

"Yeah… I guess." Remus studied his nails fixedly, carefully avoiding James' eyes.

"Do you want to get married?" Remus' head snapped up.

"Huh?" James giggled self-consciously.

"I'm… er… not proposing or anything." Remus bobbed his head in understanding. "I just meant… you know… would you?"

"I guess," Remus shrugged. "I don't know… I'd have to find someone who could… you know… tolerate me."

James chewed a fingertip in thought. "Well… you already know that Peter, Sirius, and I can tolerate you…" There was a minute pause before James grinned wickedly. "You could marry one of us!"

"Uh-huh," Remus rolled his eyes. "Somehow I don't see that happening."

"No, really!" James rolled onto his back and kicked his heels up in excitement. "It'd be perfect! What about Sirius?"

"Mmm," Remus wrinkled his nose. "I don't know. I don't quite see Sirius as the type to enjoy fidelity."

James nodded. "True, true." He pretended to think about the puzzle. "How about Peter? I'd say he'd be faithful to the end."

Remus propped his chin up on one hand. "Yes… perhaps Peter…"

With a pounding heart, James clutched the sheets nervously and toyed with the question running through his mind. "And then there's me… would you marry me?"

Remus' eyes darkened and became more somber. "Yes… I think I would."

James looked up, his eyes wide. "You mean if I got down on bended knee and asked you… you say 'yes'?"

Remus' cheeks flushed and he dipped his head a bit, looking at James from beneath his eyelashes. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out; finally, he just nodded.

James gaped. "We… we can't, you know."

"I know." Remus' voice was tinged with sadness.

"I was just joking," he said quietly, with an air indicating a lack of self-conviction rather than misunderstanding.

"I know." Remus settled his chin heavily on his hand again and stared at the space past James.

"It's just…" James rolled himself over yet again so that he and Remus were arm-to-arm, thigh-to-thigh. "I mean, boys don't usually…"

"I know."

"I'm sorry," James offered. Remus nodded.

"I know." James watched Remus' lips as they moved to form the spoken words. They were thin and a very delicate pink and, when Remus ran his moist tongue across them, they took on a glossy sheen.

"But…" And for an instant time seemed to hover. A moment became forever as James closed his eyes, tipped his head to the side, and gently touched his lips to Remus'.