Chapter Eight
(The Next Day. End of the School Day.)
Belle stared into the back of her locker, lost in it's darkness. She knew exactly what she had hiding back there, and she couldn't bear to look at it again. What was lying back there now used to be hanging on the inside of her locker door; pictures of Shawn and a couple of short notes he had written to her while bored in class. She had taken them down the day after she had found out about Jan being pregnant, and hadn't looked at them since. As with everything else in her life pertaining to Shawn, she had attempted to throw them in the trash, but found it completely impossible.
Belle found the book she was looking for and threw it hastily into her backpack. She slammed the locker door shut with a sigh and nearly jumped out of her skin when she turned to walk away. Phillip was standing next to her with a grin plastered on her face.
Belle gasped in shock and nearly dropped everything she was carrying. "Oh my God, Phillip... You scared me half to death."
"Sorry... I didn't mean to. I've been watching you stare into your locker for at least 2 minutes... Is there something interesting in there?"
Belle shook her head and averted her eyes. "No, not anymore anyway."
"So, you all ready for the big dance tomorrow?"
Belle nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I am. Chloe's going to come over tomorrow and help me figure out what to do with my hair, and assist me with the accessorizing."
Phillip smiled and nodded. "Good... I'm really looking forward to it. More than I thought I would. I was kind of dreading another Last Blast, but I'm pretty sure this one will be alright."
"I think you may be right. Besides, the odds of another Last Blast catastrophe are pretty slim. I'm looking forward to it too, actually. Everything has been so bad lately, and I REALLY need a night out to just completely forget about all my problems."
"Well, that is my goal for the evening. There will be no talking about our personal problems tomorrow night... Only good things."
Belle smiled widely and nodded in agreement. "Right... No moping."
Phillip nodded and grinned slyly at her. "So, what's your dress look like?"
"I can't tell you that, it's a surprise."
"A surprise? We're not getting married, Belle... We're just going to a high school dance together. There is no bad luck involved."
Belle pouted slightly and playfully hit Phillip on the arm. "I know... But, humor me, okay? I want to have a big entrance when you come pick me up, and I can't do that if I describe the dress in all it's glory to you now."
Phillip laughed and rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright... Whatever will make you happy. I'm just glad that you decided to go."
Belle smiled at him happily. "Well, I'm glad you asked."
***
(Across that same hallway, at the same time.)
Chloe exited the bathroom and turned towards the lockers, but she froze in her tracks. She saw Belle and Phillip standing together at Belle's locker, completely oblivious to the world around them. Phillip was laughing at whatever Belle was telling him and Belle had a large smile on her face. But, that wasn't what froze Chloe. Shawn was standing at the other end of the hallway, his pain clearly written all over his face. He was staring at Belle and Phillip, and completely motionless.
Chloe looked at him sadly, and for just a moment, he moved his eyes to catch her gaze. When he noticed her looking at him, he quickly turned away and hurried down the adjacent hallway, moving out of sight. Chloe sighed and moved down the hallway, pausing for a moment when Belle caught her by the arm.
"Chloe... What's up? You look like you're in a hurry."
Chloe nodded but didn't look at Belle when she replied, she kept her gaze fixed on the direction that Shawn had walked in. "I am. I can't explain right now. I'll talk to you later..."
She walked away quickly, leaving Belle and Phillip in confusion. Chloe broke into a jog when she reached the corner that Shawn had turned moments before. She ran down the other hallway which ended in doors that led out to the parking lot behind the gym.
Chloe pushed the doors open with force and saw Shawn leaning against the wall of the building, looking towards the ground. She took a brief moment to catch her breath and walked slowly towards him.
"Shawn... Are you okay?"
Shawn looked up at her and replied. "Do you care?"
Chloe sighed sadly and walked closer to him. "Of course I do. God, Shawn... Things have been so screwed up, and I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you. None of us have been, and that's wrong. I wish I had a good excuse, but there is no excuse for it. I still care about you, and so does everyone else... it's just been... awkward."
Shawn shrugged nonchalantly. "No, it makes sense. Belle is your best friend, and I am the one at fault here, so I'm not surprised. You guys stood by her, and she needed that."
"But we should have stood by you too. I'm not going to say that what you did can be excused, because it can't. Everybody is angry, Shawn. You hurt Belle, and when you hurt Belle, you hurt everyone who loves her too. But, still... You've been my friend since I moved to Salem, and I should have been able to put my anger aside long enough to see how you were doing. I'm really sorry..."
"Thank you. You're the first person besides my parents to ask me I was okay."
Chloe raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Well... Are you?"
Shawn shifted his eyes from her gaze and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"And you are also lying through your teeth. I can see what you're feeling all over your face... You don't need to lie to me. I'm here to listen."
"It's not important how I feel. I just want Belle to be okay... I want her to be happy."
Chloe shook her head and laid one hand against the wall next to him. "Belle's not okay, and she's never going to be okay. Not without you."
Shawn gave her a skeptical glance. "She looks fine to me. She doesn't want me in her life anymore, so I'm not."
"I know, I know. She looks happy, and for the most part, she's fine... But, she'll never be as happy as she could be... Not unless she has you. She won't talk about it anymore, but I can see it in her eyes, just like I see it in yours. You two belong with each other. It doesn't matter what's happened in the past, because you can overcome it."
"I don't see how, Chloe. She doesn't want to speak to me or see me ever again. She wants to forget about me, and I'm going to let her. If I try to talk to her again, she's just going to hate me more. Nothing will ever be able to erase what I've done to her."
Chloe sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "You're right... Nothing will ever erase all of this. It doesn't matter how much you apologize, she's never going to forget it, and you can't expect her to. But, you can't give up, Shawn. You love Belle. I know you do. And, you will never stop loving her. And, it's the same for her... She will always love you, no matter how much she tries to deny it. You can't just let that go so easily. You have to fight for it sometimes."
Tears begin to well up in Shawn's eyes, and the way he looked towards Chloe nearly broke her heart. She knew Shawn was suffering more than words could describe, she saw it written all over his face and his every movement.
Shawn spoke quietly, trying to push out the words and keep from losing his composure. "I want to, Chloe. I want to fight for our love... But, I don't know how. I don't even know where to start. I've already screwed everything up once, and I don't want to do it again."
Chloe nodded in understanding. "Then don't. You made some rash decisions about the whole Jan situation. You have to remember to look before you leap sometimes. Think about what you're doing, and think about how it might affect other people, before you do it. You made some mistakes, but you deserve a second chance. Everybody deserves that at some point."
"I know that I screwed up. I have completely learned my lesson, and I swear that I'm never going to act like a selfish idiot every again... But, I don't think saying that is going to be enough for Belle. That is, if I can ever get her to listen to anything that comes out of my mouth, ever again."
"You have to be persistent. If I've learned one thing from all of my problems with Phillip, it's to be persistent..."
"Yes, because that worked so well for Phillip."
Chloe waved her hand at him dismissingly. "Oh, no, no, no... Take one cue from Phillip, but not all of them. He may have been overly obsessive, but he never gave up, and because of that, we gave our relationship more than enough chances to work. It just so happened, that it didn't. But, it's different with you and Belle..."
Shawn raised both of his eyebrows. "And how is that?"
"It's hard to explain, but I know that I'm right about you two. What Phillip and I had, it was nice for awhile, but it never could match what you share with Belle. If you two don't give it another chance, you're going to regret it for the rest of your lives. You're always going to wonder what could have been, and you owe it to yourself and to Belle to try again."
"After what I did... How can she ever trust me again?"
"She can. It may take a lot of time, but you need to be patient and understanding. It's hard to trust someone again after they betray you, but it can be done."
Shawn nodded slightly. "I just don't know where to begin, or what to do. I don't want push her away even further."
Chloe sighed softly and frowned. "I know... And, I may not be the best person to be handing out advice about this. But, then again... I am right. Don't fade into the background. You have to let her know that you are always going to love her, and you're always going to be there for her. You have to remind her of what you used to have, what you still could have. I know it seems impossible, because all Belle can think about right now is what you did to her, but eventually, that will all fade away and she'll remember why you two were together in the first place."
"You make it sound like it could be a long time from now before she does."
"It might be. I don't know. Everybody heals at their own rate. It could be next month, or it could be next year... I just don't know. But, don't ever give up, because if you do... it will be the biggest mistake you could ever make. Not everybody is lucky enough to have that kind of love in their life, not even for a minute, you need to do everything you can to hold on to it."
Shawn paused to think for a moment. Maybe Chloe was right, and maybe he was already unknowingly doing what she had told him. He had sent that drawing to Belle on a whim, not realizing that it could very well help to remind her of better times.
Shawn shook his thoughts away and smiled at Chloe. "You're right... Now, tell me, how did you get to be so wise?"
Chloe laughed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I wish... I may be able to stand here and dole the advice out to you, but I can't fix my own screwy love life. I must not be THAT wise, right?"
"Sometimes even the smartest people can't see what's right in front of them."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Shawn grinned at her slyly. "It's Brady, isn't it?"
Chloe felt her jaw drop in shock and her eyes widened in surprised. "How did you know?"
"I guess the same way that you seem to know everything about me and Belle. You love him, don't you?"
Chloe shrugged slightly and looked towards the ground. "It's complicated, Shawn... I know that I have feelings for Brady, and I have for a long time, feelings that I've tried to deny... But, I can't deny them anymore. It's just... I don't think he feels the same way for me."
Shawn raised his eyebrows skeptically, as if he knew something that she didn't. "And how can be so sure of that?"
"It's Brady... He tells everybody exactly how he feels all the time, whether they want to hear it or not. If he felt the same that I do, I think he probably would have told me a while ago."
"Sure, that may be true about Brady in most cases... But, like you said, it's complicated. He's probably afraid of the same things you are, that you may not feel the same way. Plus, with everything that happened between you and Phillip, he probably didn't want to interfere with all of that. Now's the time... You need to tell him how you feel."
Chloe frowned at him and shrugged again. "I don't know. I have a hard enough time sharing those kind of feelings with people... But, not knowing what kind of response I'm going to get makes it even more frightening."
Shawn nodded in understanding and continued. "I don't think you have anything to worry about... Even if Brady doesn't feel the same way, he's not the type of person to just end your friendship. I know that you mean a lot to him, no matter what."
Chloe smiled slightly and nodded. "Thank you... Thank you for that."
Shawn stood up straight and shook his head. "No... Thank YOU, Chloe. I really appreciate what you're trying to do."
Chloe grinned and hugged Shawn tightly. "Shawn... I am going to do everything in my power to help you and Belle. The two of you were the only people that were nice to me when I first came to Salem, and the least I can do is try to make you both happy. I owe you that much."
Chloe let go of him and Shawn smiled appreciatively. "You don't owe me anything, but thank you anyway."
"Listen Shawn... I know that all of us have kind of ditched you, and I'm sorry. You've been through a lot lately, and it's not fair that none of us have stood by you. I just want you to know that I am here for you. If you ever need anything, you can call me. I'm still your friend, okay?"
"That really means a lot to me... Thank you."
Chloe smiled happily and motioned towards the doors. "You're welcome... I guess I'll talk to you later. Think about what I said, okay?"
Shawn nodded and grinned at her. "You too."
Chloe chuckled and turned to walk away. "You got it."
Chloe sighed softly as she walked away, leaving Shawn alone. She quietly wondered if true love was worth all of the complications and heartache that people experienced to have it. And in the same instant, she answered her own question. Of course it was, she was just waiting to find that out from personal experience.
***
(Quick note about this week's shows... Why is it taking so long for Phillip to GET A CLUE? He's rich, he can certainly afford to buy a clue. How come in all my stories Phillip ends up being a somewhat nice character? Is it because I don't want to deal with the selfish, immature, bratty Phillip that the show's writers seem determined to keep writing? Helloooooo? That kid needs to have an epiphany really quick before Brady rips him into tiny tiny pieces. I have just three words for the TV version of Phillip: GET OVER IT. I am sooooo sick of his whining. I know he could be a good and likable character, if he would just put his brain cells to work.
Sorry... Rant over, I promise.)
(The Next Day. End of the School Day.)
Belle stared into the back of her locker, lost in it's darkness. She knew exactly what she had hiding back there, and she couldn't bear to look at it again. What was lying back there now used to be hanging on the inside of her locker door; pictures of Shawn and a couple of short notes he had written to her while bored in class. She had taken them down the day after she had found out about Jan being pregnant, and hadn't looked at them since. As with everything else in her life pertaining to Shawn, she had attempted to throw them in the trash, but found it completely impossible.
Belle found the book she was looking for and threw it hastily into her backpack. She slammed the locker door shut with a sigh and nearly jumped out of her skin when she turned to walk away. Phillip was standing next to her with a grin plastered on her face.
Belle gasped in shock and nearly dropped everything she was carrying. "Oh my God, Phillip... You scared me half to death."
"Sorry... I didn't mean to. I've been watching you stare into your locker for at least 2 minutes... Is there something interesting in there?"
Belle shook her head and averted her eyes. "No, not anymore anyway."
"So, you all ready for the big dance tomorrow?"
Belle nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I am. Chloe's going to come over tomorrow and help me figure out what to do with my hair, and assist me with the accessorizing."
Phillip smiled and nodded. "Good... I'm really looking forward to it. More than I thought I would. I was kind of dreading another Last Blast, but I'm pretty sure this one will be alright."
"I think you may be right. Besides, the odds of another Last Blast catastrophe are pretty slim. I'm looking forward to it too, actually. Everything has been so bad lately, and I REALLY need a night out to just completely forget about all my problems."
"Well, that is my goal for the evening. There will be no talking about our personal problems tomorrow night... Only good things."
Belle smiled widely and nodded in agreement. "Right... No moping."
Phillip nodded and grinned slyly at her. "So, what's your dress look like?"
"I can't tell you that, it's a surprise."
"A surprise? We're not getting married, Belle... We're just going to a high school dance together. There is no bad luck involved."
Belle pouted slightly and playfully hit Phillip on the arm. "I know... But, humor me, okay? I want to have a big entrance when you come pick me up, and I can't do that if I describe the dress in all it's glory to you now."
Phillip laughed and rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright... Whatever will make you happy. I'm just glad that you decided to go."
Belle smiled at him happily. "Well, I'm glad you asked."
***
(Across that same hallway, at the same time.)
Chloe exited the bathroom and turned towards the lockers, but she froze in her tracks. She saw Belle and Phillip standing together at Belle's locker, completely oblivious to the world around them. Phillip was laughing at whatever Belle was telling him and Belle had a large smile on her face. But, that wasn't what froze Chloe. Shawn was standing at the other end of the hallway, his pain clearly written all over his face. He was staring at Belle and Phillip, and completely motionless.
Chloe looked at him sadly, and for just a moment, he moved his eyes to catch her gaze. When he noticed her looking at him, he quickly turned away and hurried down the adjacent hallway, moving out of sight. Chloe sighed and moved down the hallway, pausing for a moment when Belle caught her by the arm.
"Chloe... What's up? You look like you're in a hurry."
Chloe nodded but didn't look at Belle when she replied, she kept her gaze fixed on the direction that Shawn had walked in. "I am. I can't explain right now. I'll talk to you later..."
She walked away quickly, leaving Belle and Phillip in confusion. Chloe broke into a jog when she reached the corner that Shawn had turned moments before. She ran down the other hallway which ended in doors that led out to the parking lot behind the gym.
Chloe pushed the doors open with force and saw Shawn leaning against the wall of the building, looking towards the ground. She took a brief moment to catch her breath and walked slowly towards him.
"Shawn... Are you okay?"
Shawn looked up at her and replied. "Do you care?"
Chloe sighed sadly and walked closer to him. "Of course I do. God, Shawn... Things have been so screwed up, and I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you. None of us have been, and that's wrong. I wish I had a good excuse, but there is no excuse for it. I still care about you, and so does everyone else... it's just been... awkward."
Shawn shrugged nonchalantly. "No, it makes sense. Belle is your best friend, and I am the one at fault here, so I'm not surprised. You guys stood by her, and she needed that."
"But we should have stood by you too. I'm not going to say that what you did can be excused, because it can't. Everybody is angry, Shawn. You hurt Belle, and when you hurt Belle, you hurt everyone who loves her too. But, still... You've been my friend since I moved to Salem, and I should have been able to put my anger aside long enough to see how you were doing. I'm really sorry..."
"Thank you. You're the first person besides my parents to ask me I was okay."
Chloe raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Well... Are you?"
Shawn shifted his eyes from her gaze and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"And you are also lying through your teeth. I can see what you're feeling all over your face... You don't need to lie to me. I'm here to listen."
"It's not important how I feel. I just want Belle to be okay... I want her to be happy."
Chloe shook her head and laid one hand against the wall next to him. "Belle's not okay, and she's never going to be okay. Not without you."
Shawn gave her a skeptical glance. "She looks fine to me. She doesn't want me in her life anymore, so I'm not."
"I know, I know. She looks happy, and for the most part, she's fine... But, she'll never be as happy as she could be... Not unless she has you. She won't talk about it anymore, but I can see it in her eyes, just like I see it in yours. You two belong with each other. It doesn't matter what's happened in the past, because you can overcome it."
"I don't see how, Chloe. She doesn't want to speak to me or see me ever again. She wants to forget about me, and I'm going to let her. If I try to talk to her again, she's just going to hate me more. Nothing will ever be able to erase what I've done to her."
Chloe sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "You're right... Nothing will ever erase all of this. It doesn't matter how much you apologize, she's never going to forget it, and you can't expect her to. But, you can't give up, Shawn. You love Belle. I know you do. And, you will never stop loving her. And, it's the same for her... She will always love you, no matter how much she tries to deny it. You can't just let that go so easily. You have to fight for it sometimes."
Tears begin to well up in Shawn's eyes, and the way he looked towards Chloe nearly broke her heart. She knew Shawn was suffering more than words could describe, she saw it written all over his face and his every movement.
Shawn spoke quietly, trying to push out the words and keep from losing his composure. "I want to, Chloe. I want to fight for our love... But, I don't know how. I don't even know where to start. I've already screwed everything up once, and I don't want to do it again."
Chloe nodded in understanding. "Then don't. You made some rash decisions about the whole Jan situation. You have to remember to look before you leap sometimes. Think about what you're doing, and think about how it might affect other people, before you do it. You made some mistakes, but you deserve a second chance. Everybody deserves that at some point."
"I know that I screwed up. I have completely learned my lesson, and I swear that I'm never going to act like a selfish idiot every again... But, I don't think saying that is going to be enough for Belle. That is, if I can ever get her to listen to anything that comes out of my mouth, ever again."
"You have to be persistent. If I've learned one thing from all of my problems with Phillip, it's to be persistent..."
"Yes, because that worked so well for Phillip."
Chloe waved her hand at him dismissingly. "Oh, no, no, no... Take one cue from Phillip, but not all of them. He may have been overly obsessive, but he never gave up, and because of that, we gave our relationship more than enough chances to work. It just so happened, that it didn't. But, it's different with you and Belle..."
Shawn raised both of his eyebrows. "And how is that?"
"It's hard to explain, but I know that I'm right about you two. What Phillip and I had, it was nice for awhile, but it never could match what you share with Belle. If you two don't give it another chance, you're going to regret it for the rest of your lives. You're always going to wonder what could have been, and you owe it to yourself and to Belle to try again."
"After what I did... How can she ever trust me again?"
"She can. It may take a lot of time, but you need to be patient and understanding. It's hard to trust someone again after they betray you, but it can be done."
Shawn nodded slightly. "I just don't know where to begin, or what to do. I don't want push her away even further."
Chloe sighed softly and frowned. "I know... And, I may not be the best person to be handing out advice about this. But, then again... I am right. Don't fade into the background. You have to let her know that you are always going to love her, and you're always going to be there for her. You have to remind her of what you used to have, what you still could have. I know it seems impossible, because all Belle can think about right now is what you did to her, but eventually, that will all fade away and she'll remember why you two were together in the first place."
"You make it sound like it could be a long time from now before she does."
"It might be. I don't know. Everybody heals at their own rate. It could be next month, or it could be next year... I just don't know. But, don't ever give up, because if you do... it will be the biggest mistake you could ever make. Not everybody is lucky enough to have that kind of love in their life, not even for a minute, you need to do everything you can to hold on to it."
Shawn paused to think for a moment. Maybe Chloe was right, and maybe he was already unknowingly doing what she had told him. He had sent that drawing to Belle on a whim, not realizing that it could very well help to remind her of better times.
Shawn shook his thoughts away and smiled at Chloe. "You're right... Now, tell me, how did you get to be so wise?"
Chloe laughed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I wish... I may be able to stand here and dole the advice out to you, but I can't fix my own screwy love life. I must not be THAT wise, right?"
"Sometimes even the smartest people can't see what's right in front of them."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Shawn grinned at her slyly. "It's Brady, isn't it?"
Chloe felt her jaw drop in shock and her eyes widened in surprised. "How did you know?"
"I guess the same way that you seem to know everything about me and Belle. You love him, don't you?"
Chloe shrugged slightly and looked towards the ground. "It's complicated, Shawn... I know that I have feelings for Brady, and I have for a long time, feelings that I've tried to deny... But, I can't deny them anymore. It's just... I don't think he feels the same way for me."
Shawn raised his eyebrows skeptically, as if he knew something that she didn't. "And how can be so sure of that?"
"It's Brady... He tells everybody exactly how he feels all the time, whether they want to hear it or not. If he felt the same that I do, I think he probably would have told me a while ago."
"Sure, that may be true about Brady in most cases... But, like you said, it's complicated. He's probably afraid of the same things you are, that you may not feel the same way. Plus, with everything that happened between you and Phillip, he probably didn't want to interfere with all of that. Now's the time... You need to tell him how you feel."
Chloe frowned at him and shrugged again. "I don't know. I have a hard enough time sharing those kind of feelings with people... But, not knowing what kind of response I'm going to get makes it even more frightening."
Shawn nodded in understanding and continued. "I don't think you have anything to worry about... Even if Brady doesn't feel the same way, he's not the type of person to just end your friendship. I know that you mean a lot to him, no matter what."
Chloe smiled slightly and nodded. "Thank you... Thank you for that."
Shawn stood up straight and shook his head. "No... Thank YOU, Chloe. I really appreciate what you're trying to do."
Chloe grinned and hugged Shawn tightly. "Shawn... I am going to do everything in my power to help you and Belle. The two of you were the only people that were nice to me when I first came to Salem, and the least I can do is try to make you both happy. I owe you that much."
Chloe let go of him and Shawn smiled appreciatively. "You don't owe me anything, but thank you anyway."
"Listen Shawn... I know that all of us have kind of ditched you, and I'm sorry. You've been through a lot lately, and it's not fair that none of us have stood by you. I just want you to know that I am here for you. If you ever need anything, you can call me. I'm still your friend, okay?"
"That really means a lot to me... Thank you."
Chloe smiled happily and motioned towards the doors. "You're welcome... I guess I'll talk to you later. Think about what I said, okay?"
Shawn nodded and grinned at her. "You too."
Chloe chuckled and turned to walk away. "You got it."
Chloe sighed softly as she walked away, leaving Shawn alone. She quietly wondered if true love was worth all of the complications and heartache that people experienced to have it. And in the same instant, she answered her own question. Of course it was, she was just waiting to find that out from personal experience.
***
(Quick note about this week's shows... Why is it taking so long for Phillip to GET A CLUE? He's rich, he can certainly afford to buy a clue. How come in all my stories Phillip ends up being a somewhat nice character? Is it because I don't want to deal with the selfish, immature, bratty Phillip that the show's writers seem determined to keep writing? Helloooooo? That kid needs to have an epiphany really quick before Brady rips him into tiny tiny pieces. I have just three words for the TV version of Phillip: GET OVER IT. I am sooooo sick of his whining. I know he could be a good and likable character, if he would just put his brain cells to work.
Sorry... Rant over, I promise.)
