A/N: Since I want to keep you all in suspense (and I don't know quite what to have happen next!) we're going to pause for a moment for an interview with Rocky, purely because I don't like him.
X- Why good morning Rocky.
R- *grunt, wave*
X- So, how are you?
R- Okay…wow, I can talk.
X- You're singing.
R- Oh, okay *sings opera-ish* How does that work?
X- Uh…inconsistencies in your vocal cords?
R- Huh... okay…
X- So, Rocky, what should happen next in the story?
R- Eddie should fall in love with me.
X- Just because you're not getting any is no reason to torture Eddie so, even if he IS a big fat homo-phobe!! (as Sara Hyphen pointed out-it was I who made him be like that, but I don't CARE! I can still hate him for it.)
***
Okay…actual story now…whoo…
The entire room went silent, save Columbia's whimperings. Everyone stared at Eddie.
"Get out." Said Frank in a low voice, "Now." Eddie stood looking at Misty and Columbia, a mixture of pleasure and spite noticeable in his features.
"I hope the little bitch goes to hell." He said, kicking Misty's body.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT!" Columbia screamed, throwing a micro-digital awakener at Eddie. It hit him square in the chest. He squealed and ran out of the room. He ran down the hall until he reached the end, a door. He skidded to a stop in front of it. It opened and there stood Riff-Raff, Pikachu, and Jiggleypuff.
"Why hello," Riff murmured, "I thought you were dead."
"I was." Eddie replied.
"Oh, okay. Would you like to come in for tea?" Riff raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, sure." Eddie followed the stooping butler and the rat in. A little table with four chairs sat in the middle of the room, set with miniature china tea-set. Eddie became increasingly disturbed as Pika and Jiggley both put on frilly, lacey aprons and Riff slipped into one of Magenta's old dresses. "Is everything okay Eddie?" Riff asked.
"Pika?" Pikachu offered him a black ruffled slip. Eddie's eyes grew wide.
"You're a flaming faggot," he muttered.
"Oh, it's just a bit of fun!" Riff smiled.
"No. Fun is cruising on a motorcycle. Fun is club hopping. Fun is taking off girl's clothes, not putting them on! Faggots are maggots!" (grr…*kicks Eddie* You're too opinionated for your own good!) With that he ran out of the room and through the twisting corridors until he got to a giant theatre. He sat down on the steps and put his head in his hands.
"There are tons of them, all of them here, they're all gonna get me. I'll turn into one of them. I hafta get out…"
"We're all what, gay?" Magenta stepped out from behind the curtain, "Oh you'd be surprised. You know, Columbia and I were never really in love. We were just experimenting. I don't like girls." (and you're also lying through your teeth Mags...)
"Oh, well it's still weird."
"No, Columbia told me all about you and Santa's experience at fat camp. And the Easter Bunny. And your little rubber ducky. I think you've done plenty of experimenting of your own, mister."
"Uh...uhm..." Eddie examined his feet.
"Don't worry. Now, did you really like Columbia?" Magenta sat down next to Eddie.
"I did, once, but she changed. She became less of a person and more a pretty face and a nice ass. I don't know what happened, all that I'd liked her for was gone and she was just an easy lay."
"You know why, don't you?" Eddie shook his head no. "She thought you'd been two-timing her with Frank."
"But he forced me; you can't think I enjoyed it! You can't think I wanted to do it with that dominatrix bastard!" (all opinions expressed in this section belong to the characters expressing them, not necessarily me)
"Most people don't. I guess she didn't understand. She loved him once too."
"She deserved it then. How could anyone love that thing?"
"No, she's right, love is love, and you should take it for what it is."
"You're one of them too. You lied!"
"Well if that's how you're gonna be, I guess I'll just have to show you just how much like one of them I'm not." She took Eddie's head in her hands and kissed him hard on the lips.
***
Columbia was the only one left in the room when Misty came to. Frank had left to find Rocky and Ash had gone off in search of Pikachu.
"Mommy?" the little girl whispered. Columbia leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.
"Columbia?" Misty's eyes fluttered and her face was sickly-pale. She tried to sit up, but fell back immediately.
"Don't. Lay down." Columbia put her hand on Misty's arm.
"What happened?" Misty murmured, rubbing her head.
"That stupid Eddie. If Magents didn't have that little thing for him, I'd have clawed out his eyeballs and any other sort of balls he may have. He threw a toaster at you, a TOASTER! He could have KILLED you!"
"But he didn't. Shouldn't we be happy? I'm alive and we're in love-" Suddenly, Mrs. Brist the evil reading teacher materialized in the corner.
"Shouldn't you girls be reading?" She whined. Columbia stuck her tongue out at the teacher and she left, muttering on about propaganda.
"Well THAT certainly ruined the moment," Columbia pouted. (I'll try and fix it…I promise!) Dust in the Wind started playing in the background and Misty tried to stand again. Columbia picked her up and they started dancing. They waltzed about and eventually ended up at the foot of the bed. Columbia smiled at Misty as she pulled the little girl down on top of her.
"I love you," Columbia whispered.
***
Riff-Raff sat in the windowsill, silver moonlight glistened off his pale hair. The ship was drifting; he couldn't hear the motor running. Riff was glad; he didn't want to get to Transsexual (spelled that way to annoy Sara Hyphen. Phht!). As much as he loved Magenta, she'd seemed off lately. He'd seen her shadow in her window; it looked like she was burning herself. He'd seen Frank's shadow outlined in the pink curtains too. His mind danced with images of them intertwined, doing things Riff himself had taught her. He knew it was partially his fault. Why was he the way he was? "I should go make it up to her. I love her so much. We shouldn't be apart like this." He stood up and left the room, being sure to close the door so that Pika and Jiggely didn't wake up. He heard Columbia and Misty going at it in as he passed their room. He sighed; Mags had talked about Columbia a lot for a little while. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how many people Magenta liked. 'I guess she never really did the crush thing when she was a teenager.' Riff smiled, 'It must have caught up with her.' She was so cute though. It was hard to believe they were related. 'She got the looks, I got the mental instabilities.' He came to Magenta's room and opened the door. It had never occurred to him that he'd need to knock, they'd always been very open with each other about everything. When he opened the door he gasped. There was Eddie eating out his beautiful sister. Eddie, the one who'd condemned his lifestyle and who hated gays. That closed minded pig was touching his sister!
"Magenta!" Riff shouted, "oh Magenta, how can you love him? Do you know what he did to Misty? Did you see Columbia's face afterwards?!" The two looked up, rather surprised.
"Riffy," Magenta murmured, "what are you doing here Riffy darling?" Eddie's face twisted in hate. He jumped on Riff and wrapped his hands around his neck. Riff squealed and kicked Eddie in the knees.
"EDDIE!!! GET OFF HIIIM!!!" Magenta screamed.
"You like THIS!?" Eddie grabbed Riff's balls pulled on them. Magenta pounced on Eddie's back and ripped him off of Riff.
"You NEVER do that to anyone again!" She smacked him in the face and drug her nails down his arms. "Get out!" Eddie ran out of the room and down the hall (yes!). Magenta hugged Riff-Raff. "Are you okay darling?" She whispered.
"They hurt. Can you kiss them and make them better?" Magenta smiled.
**okay…hold on for a moment…I'm trying something which I think is a new idea…if anyone has used it, I haven't read their shit. Anyways…Riff and Mags get along reasonably well with their parents. If anyone has a problem with it, eat llamas. **
"First you have to promise me something. We need to start talking again, like we used to. Remember? Lately, it's been like you've been really preoccupied. Promise me you'll talk to me."
"I promise. I love you Magenta. Don't you realize how perfect you are? I don't deserve you."
"No, stop Riff. We've been through this a million times. We're perfect for each other, no two people have ever been happier than we are when we're together. I love you and you love me and we'll be together forever. But for now, we have to think about what we're going to do once we get to Transsexual. What about Mother? Is she even still alive? Do we even want to see her? Should we go see father? Do we have an inkling of where either one of them are?"
"I don't want to see Mother, she never liked me. Stupid bar maid's prob'ly dead anyway. Father would most likely be happy to see us. It's been so long. He hasn't seen you all grown up." Magenta smiled.
"But Riffy, will Frank mind?"
"Even if he does…what's he gonna do?" Riff smiled as Magenta leaned and kissed the little bulge in Riff's pants.
***
Ash sat on the bed and sighed. If only he was as cute as Colin Mocherie. A good faery appeared. (Ooh! Colin Mocherie!) "I'm NOT Colin Mocherie!" (Shucks….)
"Can you make me into Colin Mocherie? Pretty please?" Ash begged.
"Sure…why not? Poof!" Ash turned into Colin Mocherie
"HEY!" Colin-Ash shouted, "Where's my hat?"
"The author says you can't have a hat because Colin's so much cuter than you. Phht!"
"Fine," Colin-Ash pouted, "Hey! I'm cute, what am I doing here?" He ran out of his room and down the hall to the swimming pool, expecting to find Frank and Rocky. No one was there. So he went to Frank's lab. No one was there either. Colin-Ash sniffled and went into the kitchen, hoping to find Magenta. No one was there either. Then he got a wonderful idea to make himself popular. He climbed into the counter and opened a cabinet. He dug around a bit until he found a huge stash of jello pudding and instant pie crust mix. (Hrm..what IS he gonna do…) He started making the crust first. He put in all the ingredients and mixed them together and put them in the oven. (Hey, I guess Canadian guys can cook ^+^) Then he started on the pudding. He put in the eggs, mix, and everything else except the milk. He looked in the fridge, but there wasn't enough. This was a problem. He thought for a few minutes (hey…Canadian guys can THINK too!) and came upon an idea. He went over to Frank's room and knocked on the door.
"What do you-OH my god! Colin Mocherie! Please, please come in!" Frank smiled and let Colin-Ash in.
"Uhm…Frank, I need your help with something."
"Yes?" Frank looked rather excited.
"I need you to…uh…c'mere." Colin-Ash lead Frank to the kitchen and showed him the jello pudding. "I was wondering if you could…uh…I mean….could you possibly…uh…um…yeah….in the ….uhm…pudding stuff." (He may have Colin's looks, but not his charm.)
"Oh, anything for you Colin! But, I think I might need some help." Frankie giggled.
"Uh…okay…" So Colin-Ash helped Frankie jerk off into the pudding mix stuff.
"Hey," Frank whispered, "Wanna go snog?"
"Sure!" Colin-Ash replied and the two of them ran off to the pool. Frank jumped in and pulled in Colin-Ash with him. But the water washed off the spell that turned Ash into Colin. Frankie screamed like a little girl the minute he saw.
"Oh my god! You're that boy! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Get away!" Frank jumped out of the pool and ran away to find Rocky.
***
That was a fairly long one…I'm proud of it. Now if only I could get it to work on the other computer….*pout*
X- Why good morning Rocky.
R- *grunt, wave*
X- So, how are you?
R- Okay…wow, I can talk.
X- You're singing.
R- Oh, okay *sings opera-ish* How does that work?
X- Uh…inconsistencies in your vocal cords?
R- Huh... okay…
X- So, Rocky, what should happen next in the story?
R- Eddie should fall in love with me.
X- Just because you're not getting any is no reason to torture Eddie so, even if he IS a big fat homo-phobe!! (as Sara Hyphen pointed out-it was I who made him be like that, but I don't CARE! I can still hate him for it.)
***
Okay…actual story now…whoo…
The entire room went silent, save Columbia's whimperings. Everyone stared at Eddie.
"Get out." Said Frank in a low voice, "Now." Eddie stood looking at Misty and Columbia, a mixture of pleasure and spite noticeable in his features.
"I hope the little bitch goes to hell." He said, kicking Misty's body.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT!" Columbia screamed, throwing a micro-digital awakener at Eddie. It hit him square in the chest. He squealed and ran out of the room. He ran down the hall until he reached the end, a door. He skidded to a stop in front of it. It opened and there stood Riff-Raff, Pikachu, and Jiggleypuff.
"Why hello," Riff murmured, "I thought you were dead."
"I was." Eddie replied.
"Oh, okay. Would you like to come in for tea?" Riff raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, sure." Eddie followed the stooping butler and the rat in. A little table with four chairs sat in the middle of the room, set with miniature china tea-set. Eddie became increasingly disturbed as Pika and Jiggley both put on frilly, lacey aprons and Riff slipped into one of Magenta's old dresses. "Is everything okay Eddie?" Riff asked.
"Pika?" Pikachu offered him a black ruffled slip. Eddie's eyes grew wide.
"You're a flaming faggot," he muttered.
"Oh, it's just a bit of fun!" Riff smiled.
"No. Fun is cruising on a motorcycle. Fun is club hopping. Fun is taking off girl's clothes, not putting them on! Faggots are maggots!" (grr…*kicks Eddie* You're too opinionated for your own good!) With that he ran out of the room and through the twisting corridors until he got to a giant theatre. He sat down on the steps and put his head in his hands.
"There are tons of them, all of them here, they're all gonna get me. I'll turn into one of them. I hafta get out…"
"We're all what, gay?" Magenta stepped out from behind the curtain, "Oh you'd be surprised. You know, Columbia and I were never really in love. We were just experimenting. I don't like girls." (and you're also lying through your teeth Mags...)
"Oh, well it's still weird."
"No, Columbia told me all about you and Santa's experience at fat camp. And the Easter Bunny. And your little rubber ducky. I think you've done plenty of experimenting of your own, mister."
"Uh...uhm..." Eddie examined his feet.
"Don't worry. Now, did you really like Columbia?" Magenta sat down next to Eddie.
"I did, once, but she changed. She became less of a person and more a pretty face and a nice ass. I don't know what happened, all that I'd liked her for was gone and she was just an easy lay."
"You know why, don't you?" Eddie shook his head no. "She thought you'd been two-timing her with Frank."
"But he forced me; you can't think I enjoyed it! You can't think I wanted to do it with that dominatrix bastard!" (all opinions expressed in this section belong to the characters expressing them, not necessarily me)
"Most people don't. I guess she didn't understand. She loved him once too."
"She deserved it then. How could anyone love that thing?"
"No, she's right, love is love, and you should take it for what it is."
"You're one of them too. You lied!"
"Well if that's how you're gonna be, I guess I'll just have to show you just how much like one of them I'm not." She took Eddie's head in her hands and kissed him hard on the lips.
***
Columbia was the only one left in the room when Misty came to. Frank had left to find Rocky and Ash had gone off in search of Pikachu.
"Mommy?" the little girl whispered. Columbia leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.
"Columbia?" Misty's eyes fluttered and her face was sickly-pale. She tried to sit up, but fell back immediately.
"Don't. Lay down." Columbia put her hand on Misty's arm.
"What happened?" Misty murmured, rubbing her head.
"That stupid Eddie. If Magents didn't have that little thing for him, I'd have clawed out his eyeballs and any other sort of balls he may have. He threw a toaster at you, a TOASTER! He could have KILLED you!"
"But he didn't. Shouldn't we be happy? I'm alive and we're in love-" Suddenly, Mrs. Brist the evil reading teacher materialized in the corner.
"Shouldn't you girls be reading?" She whined. Columbia stuck her tongue out at the teacher and she left, muttering on about propaganda.
"Well THAT certainly ruined the moment," Columbia pouted. (I'll try and fix it…I promise!) Dust in the Wind started playing in the background and Misty tried to stand again. Columbia picked her up and they started dancing. They waltzed about and eventually ended up at the foot of the bed. Columbia smiled at Misty as she pulled the little girl down on top of her.
"I love you," Columbia whispered.
***
Riff-Raff sat in the windowsill, silver moonlight glistened off his pale hair. The ship was drifting; he couldn't hear the motor running. Riff was glad; he didn't want to get to Transsexual (spelled that way to annoy Sara Hyphen. Phht!). As much as he loved Magenta, she'd seemed off lately. He'd seen her shadow in her window; it looked like she was burning herself. He'd seen Frank's shadow outlined in the pink curtains too. His mind danced with images of them intertwined, doing things Riff himself had taught her. He knew it was partially his fault. Why was he the way he was? "I should go make it up to her. I love her so much. We shouldn't be apart like this." He stood up and left the room, being sure to close the door so that Pika and Jiggely didn't wake up. He heard Columbia and Misty going at it in as he passed their room. He sighed; Mags had talked about Columbia a lot for a little while. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how many people Magenta liked. 'I guess she never really did the crush thing when she was a teenager.' Riff smiled, 'It must have caught up with her.' She was so cute though. It was hard to believe they were related. 'She got the looks, I got the mental instabilities.' He came to Magenta's room and opened the door. It had never occurred to him that he'd need to knock, they'd always been very open with each other about everything. When he opened the door he gasped. There was Eddie eating out his beautiful sister. Eddie, the one who'd condemned his lifestyle and who hated gays. That closed minded pig was touching his sister!
"Magenta!" Riff shouted, "oh Magenta, how can you love him? Do you know what he did to Misty? Did you see Columbia's face afterwards?!" The two looked up, rather surprised.
"Riffy," Magenta murmured, "what are you doing here Riffy darling?" Eddie's face twisted in hate. He jumped on Riff and wrapped his hands around his neck. Riff squealed and kicked Eddie in the knees.
"EDDIE!!! GET OFF HIIIM!!!" Magenta screamed.
"You like THIS!?" Eddie grabbed Riff's balls pulled on them. Magenta pounced on Eddie's back and ripped him off of Riff.
"You NEVER do that to anyone again!" She smacked him in the face and drug her nails down his arms. "Get out!" Eddie ran out of the room and down the hall (yes!). Magenta hugged Riff-Raff. "Are you okay darling?" She whispered.
"They hurt. Can you kiss them and make them better?" Magenta smiled.
**okay…hold on for a moment…I'm trying something which I think is a new idea…if anyone has used it, I haven't read their shit. Anyways…Riff and Mags get along reasonably well with their parents. If anyone has a problem with it, eat llamas. **
"First you have to promise me something. We need to start talking again, like we used to. Remember? Lately, it's been like you've been really preoccupied. Promise me you'll talk to me."
"I promise. I love you Magenta. Don't you realize how perfect you are? I don't deserve you."
"No, stop Riff. We've been through this a million times. We're perfect for each other, no two people have ever been happier than we are when we're together. I love you and you love me and we'll be together forever. But for now, we have to think about what we're going to do once we get to Transsexual. What about Mother? Is she even still alive? Do we even want to see her? Should we go see father? Do we have an inkling of where either one of them are?"
"I don't want to see Mother, she never liked me. Stupid bar maid's prob'ly dead anyway. Father would most likely be happy to see us. It's been so long. He hasn't seen you all grown up." Magenta smiled.
"But Riffy, will Frank mind?"
"Even if he does…what's he gonna do?" Riff smiled as Magenta leaned and kissed the little bulge in Riff's pants.
***
Ash sat on the bed and sighed. If only he was as cute as Colin Mocherie. A good faery appeared. (Ooh! Colin Mocherie!) "I'm NOT Colin Mocherie!" (Shucks….)
"Can you make me into Colin Mocherie? Pretty please?" Ash begged.
"Sure…why not? Poof!" Ash turned into Colin Mocherie
"HEY!" Colin-Ash shouted, "Where's my hat?"
"The author says you can't have a hat because Colin's so much cuter than you. Phht!"
"Fine," Colin-Ash pouted, "Hey! I'm cute, what am I doing here?" He ran out of his room and down the hall to the swimming pool, expecting to find Frank and Rocky. No one was there. So he went to Frank's lab. No one was there either. Colin-Ash sniffled and went into the kitchen, hoping to find Magenta. No one was there either. Then he got a wonderful idea to make himself popular. He climbed into the counter and opened a cabinet. He dug around a bit until he found a huge stash of jello pudding and instant pie crust mix. (Hrm..what IS he gonna do…) He started making the crust first. He put in all the ingredients and mixed them together and put them in the oven. (Hey, I guess Canadian guys can cook ^+^) Then he started on the pudding. He put in the eggs, mix, and everything else except the milk. He looked in the fridge, but there wasn't enough. This was a problem. He thought for a few minutes (hey…Canadian guys can THINK too!) and came upon an idea. He went over to Frank's room and knocked on the door.
"What do you-OH my god! Colin Mocherie! Please, please come in!" Frank smiled and let Colin-Ash in.
"Uhm…Frank, I need your help with something."
"Yes?" Frank looked rather excited.
"I need you to…uh…c'mere." Colin-Ash lead Frank to the kitchen and showed him the jello pudding. "I was wondering if you could…uh…I mean….could you possibly…uh…um…yeah….in the ….uhm…pudding stuff." (He may have Colin's looks, but not his charm.)
"Oh, anything for you Colin! But, I think I might need some help." Frankie giggled.
"Uh…okay…" So Colin-Ash helped Frankie jerk off into the pudding mix stuff.
"Hey," Frank whispered, "Wanna go snog?"
"Sure!" Colin-Ash replied and the two of them ran off to the pool. Frank jumped in and pulled in Colin-Ash with him. But the water washed off the spell that turned Ash into Colin. Frankie screamed like a little girl the minute he saw.
"Oh my god! You're that boy! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Get away!" Frank jumped out of the pool and ran away to find Rocky.
***
That was a fairly long one…I'm proud of it. Now if only I could get it to work on the other computer….*pout*
