(A/N Since no one is reviewing *sniff* I'll have to start posting so we can
get to the chapters that are actually funny.)
----
The Story With No Title
How to Curb the Truth
Paullina realized she was being rather rude and looked out the window. She stared, not really noticing what she was looking at. She started drumming her fingers on her knee waiting for him to speak. 'Fuck this.' She turned back to Elrond, "Hello".
"Good afternoon. Welcome to Rivendell. I am Elrond, Lord of this refuge. And you are?"
"P…Paul." 'Paullina is a bit too feminine'
"Paul, where do you hail from and how is it you were found unconscious in a glade in this valley?"
Paullina cocked her head to the side trying to arrange the wording before she spoke. "Well, as for where I'm from, I'm from Vermont. How I got here? I have no idea, well none that make sense."
Elrond raised an eyebrow. "Curious, I have never heard of this Vermont. If it were not for your lack of gear, weapons and your…extreme stature I would have said you were clothed and had the appearance of one of the Dunedain." He took a dramatic paused. "And as to how you got here, I would like to hear your ideas, however improbably they may seem to you."
"Well…I think I was struck by lightening." 'Close enough right? If I'm right about the computer and the water'
"Lightening?" Both of Elrond's eyebrows shot up his forehead.
"Yes, I was caught outside in a bad storm." Paullina winced inwardly; she didn't like lying. "I woke up in that glade. I became dizzy a short time afterward and fainted."
"That must be when you hit your head. Does it pain you?"
"No, I didn't even know I was hurt. Must have been that damn rock I slept on."
"Yes…there was a rock near your head where you were found. I am pleased that you are suffering no pain from the blow. Back to the matter at hand what is this Vermont? It must quite a kingdom to have warriors such as yourself."
Paullina shifted uneasily in her chair. 'I'm not a warrior. Ack, what am I going to do? They'll think I'm nuts if I tell them I'm actually a girl.' Surprising herself with a perfect deadpan face and even voice she spoke. "Yeah, Vermont is nice, though it's not a kingdom, just part of a very large one. It's very far from here." 'Hope he forgets about that warrior crap'
"How far?"
'Quit asking questions!' "I don't know where I am in relation to where I was, so I can't tell you. All I know is it must be far away, and I rightfully don't know how I will get back."
"That is unfortunate, but meanwhile you will be my guest. I still do not understand how you arrived here, but there will be time to discus that later." Elrond rose to his feet and so did Paullina. The door opened and the elf woman who had showed her there stood in the doorway. "Liriel [1] will show you back to your quarters. More clothes will be made for you. Feel free to wander about."
Paullina tried her best to bow to and thank Elrond. She reckoned she was close to failing miserably, but she was too glad that that whole conversation was over with for it to bother her.
She silently walked behind Liriel as she was guided back to her room. As they stopped outside her door a thought struck Paullina.
"Uh, Liriel?"
"Yes? Oh, I do not yet know your name."
"Paul…I need to go…where is the outhouse?"
Liriel seemed to be holding back a giggle as she gave Paullina the directions. Paullina tromped off slightly pissed that Liriel was laughing at her. She soon found herself standing outside the outhouse conflicted with two strong needs. The one was to urinate; the other was to fall over dead to save herself the trouble.
----
^_^
A/N Hope Elrond wasn't too far out of character, but it's so hard to write dialogue for him.
[1] Ah the name Liriel, where did it come from? Well if you go to the Barrow-Downs site and you get a ridiculously long ugly name start taking out letters and whole syllables and you'll get a nice sounding name.
----
The Story With No Title
How to Curb the Truth
Paullina realized she was being rather rude and looked out the window. She stared, not really noticing what she was looking at. She started drumming her fingers on her knee waiting for him to speak. 'Fuck this.' She turned back to Elrond, "Hello".
"Good afternoon. Welcome to Rivendell. I am Elrond, Lord of this refuge. And you are?"
"P…Paul." 'Paullina is a bit too feminine'
"Paul, where do you hail from and how is it you were found unconscious in a glade in this valley?"
Paullina cocked her head to the side trying to arrange the wording before she spoke. "Well, as for where I'm from, I'm from Vermont. How I got here? I have no idea, well none that make sense."
Elrond raised an eyebrow. "Curious, I have never heard of this Vermont. If it were not for your lack of gear, weapons and your…extreme stature I would have said you were clothed and had the appearance of one of the Dunedain." He took a dramatic paused. "And as to how you got here, I would like to hear your ideas, however improbably they may seem to you."
"Well…I think I was struck by lightening." 'Close enough right? If I'm right about the computer and the water'
"Lightening?" Both of Elrond's eyebrows shot up his forehead.
"Yes, I was caught outside in a bad storm." Paullina winced inwardly; she didn't like lying. "I woke up in that glade. I became dizzy a short time afterward and fainted."
"That must be when you hit your head. Does it pain you?"
"No, I didn't even know I was hurt. Must have been that damn rock I slept on."
"Yes…there was a rock near your head where you were found. I am pleased that you are suffering no pain from the blow. Back to the matter at hand what is this Vermont? It must quite a kingdom to have warriors such as yourself."
Paullina shifted uneasily in her chair. 'I'm not a warrior. Ack, what am I going to do? They'll think I'm nuts if I tell them I'm actually a girl.' Surprising herself with a perfect deadpan face and even voice she spoke. "Yeah, Vermont is nice, though it's not a kingdom, just part of a very large one. It's very far from here." 'Hope he forgets about that warrior crap'
"How far?"
'Quit asking questions!' "I don't know where I am in relation to where I was, so I can't tell you. All I know is it must be far away, and I rightfully don't know how I will get back."
"That is unfortunate, but meanwhile you will be my guest. I still do not understand how you arrived here, but there will be time to discus that later." Elrond rose to his feet and so did Paullina. The door opened and the elf woman who had showed her there stood in the doorway. "Liriel [1] will show you back to your quarters. More clothes will be made for you. Feel free to wander about."
Paullina tried her best to bow to and thank Elrond. She reckoned she was close to failing miserably, but she was too glad that that whole conversation was over with for it to bother her.
She silently walked behind Liriel as she was guided back to her room. As they stopped outside her door a thought struck Paullina.
"Uh, Liriel?"
"Yes? Oh, I do not yet know your name."
"Paul…I need to go…where is the outhouse?"
Liriel seemed to be holding back a giggle as she gave Paullina the directions. Paullina tromped off slightly pissed that Liriel was laughing at her. She soon found herself standing outside the outhouse conflicted with two strong needs. The one was to urinate; the other was to fall over dead to save herself the trouble.
----
^_^
A/N Hope Elrond wasn't too far out of character, but it's so hard to write dialogue for him.
[1] Ah the name Liriel, where did it come from? Well if you go to the Barrow-Downs site and you get a ridiculously long ugly name start taking out letters and whole syllables and you'll get a nice sounding name.
