Disclaimer: All the characters are owned by J.K Rowling

A/N: This is chapter two, there's going to be at least 6 chapters overall. So the deatheaters are around which causes Peter to reminisce even more

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'My loyal deatheaters, the time is here again for you all to do my work' Voldemort announced grandly 'I am ready to take over this world now that I have gained so much strength despite Pettigrew's bumbling care'. Peter grew red as all the deatheaters laughed, a few even shot him evil glares for jeopardising their masters health, this wasn't fair Peter did everything and still got treated like the fool. He knew none of the deatheaters trusted him, if Peter betrayed his best friends, they had every reason to think he might betray them.

'Master I have some information on Potter' Lucius Malfoy stepped forwards lowering is hood and smirking

'Excellent Lucius, it's good to see that at least some of you do the work' Voldemort gave a weak smile that looked a lot like a smirk, a few of the deatheaters shuffled uncomfortably at this, but Peter still felt that it had been directed at him.

This was the company that Peter was most nervous in, he knew every single one of the deatheaters would be all too happy to kill him. They didn't trust him, they never had and Peter couldn't blame them, he wouldn't trust someone like him. At least the deatheaters weren't as two-faced as he had been, even though a lot of them worked for the ministry and led seemingly normal lives, deep down everybody knew that they were deatheaters, they were Slytherin's with the Dark Mark on their arms, they weren't easy to miss. Peter had been a Gryffindor, he had betrayed all his friends and faked his own death, none of the deatheaters would have ever done that.

Peter stopped listening as Voldemort and the deatheaters plotted the downfall of his house, he would only have been insulted anyway, so it was easier to just hide in the shadows until Voldemort called him over. He wished Voldemort needed his help, he wished the deatheaters would actually talk to him rather than just laugh at him. If they did then at least then he would have had a reason to turn to the dark side, it was times like this he felt torn, he almost wished he had stayed on the light side.

It was all so hard, whatever he did was going to result in his death, there was no avoiding it. Stay with Voldemort and eventually Sirius or Remus would hunt him down, it might take them a few years but he knew that they wouldn't allow him to live now they knew what he had done. But turn against Voldemort and he would be killed by deatheaters.

The only consolation he had was that at least his parents had never lived to find out his secrets, they would have been so ashamed of him, they had brought him up to respect everybody and be polite. His father had died just before he started Hogwart's and his mother had died a year after James and Lily did, she had died thinking that Peter was a hero. This touched a nerve with Peter, he had loved his mother, she meant a lot to him, and she was another on a very long list that Peter had deceived and let down. He could almost imagine a meeting up in heaven, with James, Lily, his mother, Bertha Jorkins and all the others he had helped Voldemort to kill, all sat round discussing how bad he was. The thought made him let out a bitter laugh, which got him glares off a few of the deatheaters nearby who were busy discussing how to capture Harry Potter.

The thing about deatheater meetings was that in the past Peter had always been able to ignore them and pretend they weren't happening, he had almost been able to convince himself that it was all a dream. He'd lived for 12 years denying the past until Sirius and Remus had brought him with a crash back to the reality of his actions. He'd had no choice, it was life or death, basically he wanted life so he escaped again and sought out Voldemort. That was why he was here, that was why he allowed himself to just be a source of amusement to the deatheaters and that was why he did everything Voldemort told him to. He had been sure that Voldemort would reward him for telling him where Lily and James where, obviously he hadn't been and then he thought that saving Voldemort in Albania would have earned him some praise at least. So he kept convincing himself that any day soon Voldemort would give him the rewards he deserved, then he would gain everything he ever wanted.

But when Peter thought hard about it, he wasn't that sure if he had gained anything, he had a new hand, but he had only lost it because of Voldemort, he had no money or any expensive robes. Even if he had money, he couldn't just stroll down Diagon Alley and pop into the pub for a pint of butterbeer, he was meant to be dead. He knew that a lot of people now knew that he was in fact alive, all the deatheaters knew, the marauders all knew, Harry and his friends knew, and if they knew it meant that Dumbledore and the rest of the Weasley's knew, even Snape knew. So if everyone knew the truth then what was he actually doing? Voldemort would kill him as soon as he got bored, he wasn't important in Voldemort's plans, he was just the little puppy who could be made to do whatever Voldemort felt like.

When he was in this company Peter sometimes wondered how life might have been different if he hadn't been the secret keeper, if Sirius had never changed it. Would Lily and James still be alive or would Voldemort have killed even more people and would Peter have still joined him?

He remembered the day when his best friends had made the biggest mistake of their live, trusting Peter

'Peter, me and Lily have something to ask you' James had said his arm protectively round Lily's shoulders as she held a sleeping Harry gently in her arms.

'We'd like you to be our secret keeper' Lily said in her honey sweet voice, that had being the moment time stopped, Peter had known he wouldn't be strong enough to keep it secret from Voldemort, he knew James and Lily were placing all their trust in him.

'Yes, Of course I will' Peter heard the voice coming out of his mouth and wished he could take the words back, he knew that he had just started the slippery slope from which there was no return. Peter had seen the baby Harry open his eyes and look straight at him as though he knew what Peter had just done and even then in that moment he had somehow known that Harry would be important in his future. Now that Peter knew just how important Harry was he felt guilty, he had deprived the young boy of the life he wanted most of all, a family life.

The worst part about it had been how easy it was, all he had said was 'yes', it was just one simple word and yet it had changed so much, one simple word and he had become an outcast.

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A/N: So the deatheaters are gaining power and so is Voldemort, but Peter doubts are growing larger every day, which way is he going to turn? And more importantly can he ever save himself from the past he can't forget