Disclaimer: Peter Pettigrew and the other characters if you recognise them all belong to J.K.Rowling

A/N: It is likely that Peter will be doing something heroic in this story or then again maybe he'll just do something stupid or nothing at all, you can never tell. Thank you very much to Nari-chan, Lady Feylene, thistlemeg, Laura, Meisako, TalesMN and Nostrademons for reviewing, you guys are the only real reason for me writing this, so I hope you enjoy this chapter, it will probably be the last one with a lot of thoughts because now Harry's captured we can start dealing more with the present.

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Another day, another pointless day, it would be just like the rest, Voldemort would order him round and he would do nothing to give his life any meaning. This obviously wasn't how he had imagined his life would turn out, he had had so many dreams about how when he had power everyone would bow down to him and worship him. And yet his most important task was collecting the Daily Prophet and feeding the snake, it was hardly a fulfilling job and at that very moment he was again trudging down to the end of the street to collect the paper.

Looking back he couldn't remember a time when he had actually just enjoyed living life for the sake of it, but then again what did he have to enjoy? There was no going back to his carefree days of youth, not that they had actually been carefree, they were just better than his life now, not that that was hard, anything would be better then his life now.

He couldn't go back, he wouldn't be allowed to go back even if he did want to, it just wasn't possible. He could hardly casually yell to Voldemort that he was leaving, waltz up to Dumbledore, announce he was alive and moving back. Nobody would accept him, but that wasn't the problem because nobody accepted him here either, the problem was it was too late to go back. A simple sorry couldn't put right all the things he had done, nothing could.

He hadn't been stupid at school, he may not have been the cleverest person in the year but he was by no means stupid. It didn't help that he had been friends with James, Sirius and Remus who along with Lily had been top of every subject, he may have been dumb in comparison to them. But he still managed to become an amigus, which was an advanced form of magic, yet in years to come no one would remember that, they would all remembered a scared weak traitor, and the worst thing was Peter knew that was true.

No way back and no way forward, Peter was trapped in a nightmare, but this nightmare had lasted over 15 years and every time he closed his eyes he would see the moment that changed his life. He replayed over and over again what he should have said, he should have said no, he should have refused to betray James and Lily and he should have told them what had happened. Sirius was right, he should have died, he should have died rather than betray his friends.

Peter grabbed the paper and quickly skimmed the headlines, he always did this and the real reason was he was hoping against hope that the date on the paper would tell him that he was still at Hogwarts and the last 20 years of his life had all been a terrible nightmare. He honestly wanted nothing more than to start again, he would make so many changes and save so many lives, without realising it Peter had begun to walk down the hill towards the village deep in thought.

Living in the past was something Peter had become remarkably good at over the years, he could almost make himself believe he was still at Hogwarts, he could picture himself in the common room. If he closed his eyes really tight and blocked out everything else, he could still see Remus laughing as he beat Peter at yet another chess game, Sirius sneaking up from the kitchens with Pumpkin Pies for everyone and James using his invisibility cloak to sneak up behind Lily and scare her, which earned him a slap as usual. In fact he could remember other common room scenes from only 5 years ago, Ron and Hermione having another huge argument, Harry staying out of the way talking to the Weasley twins who were planting dungbombs in the girl's dormitories. But none of these scenes were anything but forgotten glimpses of the past, and the past wasn't going to save him now.

The truth or the lie? That was the question that followed Peter around everywhere, the truth held so many dangers for him, while the lie constantly followed him whispering in his ear. It was one of those cartoon scenes, on one shoulder sat a white angel and on the other sat the red devil, the only problem was they had both abandoned him in disgust. There was no way he was angelic he had caused far too much suffering, but he wasn't bad enough to be the devil he hadn't even had the guts to kill Lily and James himself, he betrayed them and then run away to hide.

Peter knew that he couldn't change the past, and he needed to get back to Voldemort so he tried to pull himself together and turned to head back to the Manor but crashed straight into a woman who had seemingly appeared from nowhere.

'I'm sorry' Peter said at exactly the same time as the woman, Peter brushed his clothes down and made a move to hurry off but he noticed the woman had narrowed her eyes as though thinking hard

'You seem familiar, have we met?' the women asked curiously, it would be just Peter's luck if she was a witch

'No, I don't think so' Peter stuttered nervously trying to find an escape

'Are you sure? I never forget a face' the women studied his face intently, Peter felt very uncomfortable

'I'm sure, I'm sorry for banging into you, I'll be going now' Peter said desperately

'Just wait, I'll ask my husband, maybe he knows you. Maybe you were in the paper or something' the women mused as she turned to call her husband over, Peter saw what appeared to be her wand sticking out of her pocket and a small Ravenclaw badge on the side of her bag, he had to get out of there before they recognised him

'I really have to go' Peter said backing away as fast as he could, the women's husband now stood by her side and he was staring at him while she muttered in his ear

'He does look a bit like….. but it can't be' the man seemed rather flustered and Peter gave up all pretence as he ran away to the nearest hiding place he could find, he could still hear their conversation

'Don't be silly dear, Peter Pettigrew died years ago' the man said finally

'But it looked just like him, I knew him you know' the women insisted

'I know, but it was probably just some muggle you scared' even the man seemed doubtful as though he had to convince himself that he hadn't just seen a dead wizard in a muggle village

'I suppose so, but he did look remarkably like him' the women's voice faded as the couple went round the corner. Maybe one day they would discover that they really had met Peter and they would be shocked and disgusted. Peter was slightly shaken as he ran back to the manor, he hadn't thought anyone would still remember him after all these years, but what he had done would be remembered forever. It would always be remembered, whether it was the true version or the version of events that Peter had invented that was remembered was a different story.

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