Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, nor do I own Discworld.



Authors notes: In case you were wondering, yes the bit about the lightning is from the "Thief of Time" and sobriety is not the opposite of drunkenness, knurd is. Think of sobriety as a bath in cotton wool. When you knurd, you get out of the bath. And I would like to know if any of you think that I am treating Gary too cruelly, so tell me.



An hour late, Helix awoke from his unconsciousness. He was still in the Center and he was sitting in the lobby of it. And he still smelled of the Bearhugger. Putting on his fez, he went to find Gary. Gary was also in the Center's lobby, with his staff leaning up against his chair. Helix sat across from him on the sofa. "Nice hat. Where can I get one?" Helix commented on the ice pack Gary had on his head. "I am going to hell and this is a preview of it." Gary said to Helix. "I wouldn't say that. You see in my experience the gods are lazy buggers. Most don't bother in the judgement of mortal souls. That means that you only go to hell if you deeply believe that is where you need to go. Which won't happen if you don't know. That's why where I am from it is best to shoot missionaries on sight." Helix said. "Where do you come from? You never told me." Gary said. "I didn't? Well, I come from the Discworld. That is a planet that is flat, rides on the back of four elephants and they are on the shell of the Star Turtle, the Great A'tuin." Helix said. Helix took a deep breath and was approached by Nurse Joy, who handed him a slip of paper. "What is this?" Helix said. "A fine. First for swearing in the presence of young people, the second for bringing alcohol into the building, and the third for being drunk." She said. "I wasn't drinking. I know I smell of whiskey. But the bottle broke." Helix said, trying to defend himself. "Really, then why didn't you bleed." Nurse Joy said, unbelieving. "That's because I have on a chain mail undershirt, as well as a pair of chain mail shorts." Helix said, a little too loudly for anyone to be comfortable with. "Now I can tell your lying about that one." Joy said. Helix then got mad and pulled up his shirt. "See?" Helix said. "Never mind, then." Nurse Joy said, walking away and tearing up the paper.

It was as the two were having this very… joyful conversation that someone that Gary knew came in. Actually it was three people. "The perfect ending to the perfect day." Gary said, getting up and getting his staff, trying to leave before Ash spotted him. "Don't bother speaking. I am not in the mood to discuss anything, Ash. I happen to be nursing a headache the size of a small country. And I am extremely tired. So I am going to bed." Gary said as he hobbled off to where the Center's rooms were. Then Ash decided to talk with Helix, trying to ask what his problem was, but he noticed that he knocked back a bottle with an orange liquid that seemed to glow from within, sort of like when you drop a flashlight in a river where the mud has been churned up. And he went into a drunken sleep.

Okay, it is a short one. In the next chapter, Ash is going to have an experience with a certain drink. Here's a big clue. They make Lancre. It's from apples, we-ell mainly apples. I already got that in my head.