Disclaimer: I don't own Vince, Shane, Steph, or Rocky. I wish I owned Shane and Rock but—eh. Enjoy!

July 30th

The Rock's thoughts on coming back. Takes place the night he returned, 7/30/01.

As soon as the Limo drove up, I saw a bunch of people gather around, outside my door. I smiled to myself. I'd see Vince after such a long time and I'd finally be able to do what I've wanted since I left. My driver opened the door and I stepped out. Reporters shouted questions and photographers took pictures. I stood there for a second and made my way into the building.

I stayed out of sight when I got into the back. I heard Vince's music hit. My skin crawled. I hated that man, and I never trusted him. I'd never, ever forget what he did the night after WrestleMania. Damn that son of a --! Then I heard Shane's music blaring in the arena. I made a face. 'Here comes the money'? What the heck was that?! I walked out of my 'hiding place' and stood in front of a monitor. Vince, Shane and that slut, Stephanie stood there, waiting for me. She got implants. What a ho. I laughed.

I took a deep breath and walked up to the Gorilla Position. I told the techs to go ahead and hit my music. It was time for my return. My heart began to beat even faster.

"If Ya Smell…!!" I heard everyone in the crowd scream at the top of their lungs! I closed my eyes and took another deep breath before finally stepping through the curtain.

"Rocky! Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!" They already began to chant. I strutted down the ramp, looking around the arena. It was sold out because they wanted to see me return. Amazing. The last thing I looked at was the ring. The McMahons stood, clapping, smiling, almost as if supporting me. Even that candy-ass, Vince McMahon. I climbed the steps and posed on the turnbuckles for the first time in a long time. They still chanted my name. They knew who I was.

They remembered me.

I stayed there as long as I could before jumping down and heading to the other one. The Alliance owners paved the way, almost escorting me to the other turnbuckle. Ass kissers.

Flashes from the people's cameras nearly blinded me. I wanted to smile, but that wasn't until later. I finally jumped down and walked around the ring. Shane smiled at me and Stephanie continued to clap. I looked at Vince, who was just staring at me. Ah, I knew Vince McMahon knew better. McMahon was not an ass kisser. He was just a plain asshole.

Shane took his mic, "Yeah Rock, that feels great, doesn't it?" I hardly paid attention to him. I walked around the ring and gave the People the People's Eyebrow. I wore the slightest smirk on my face.

Shane started talking about my last match, on RAW the night after WrestleMania. "You were in a steel cage match, and you were screwed by that man!" Shane and Stephanie pointed at their father. Vince looked at me. I glared. Shane went on, and reminded the world of WrestleMania itself. "Houston Astrodome! Over 67,000 fans screaming, millions all over the world…"

He then said Vince screwed me out of that WWF title. Then he dared to go to the year prior WrestleMania 17. Vince screwed me out that night too. Shane said I'd be screwed again and again if I chose to side with their father. I almost laughed. Shane made the word 'screwed' sound so dirty!

Vince took his own mic and before he could talk, my faithful fans kicked in: "Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!" Vince said he'd made bad decisions in the past. I heard someone shout "THE XFL!" and almost laughed. Vince came closer to me and I noticed all the wrinkles. Hot damn! 4 months made him look bad…

Vince said I might as well side with him, because I knew his devil acts, but not the acts of Shane and Stephanie. I looked at them. Vince had a point. Vince told me to trust myself, and all the fans. That got a pop out of them. "Your future, Rock, is with these people and The World Wrestling Federation!" He said. I could swear I heard JR scream "You damn right, it is!" "Excuse me, excuse me. Your future is with these people alright, but not with the World Wrestling Federation, no, no." I glared at Shane. What was he getting at…? "Your future is with…The Alliance!" Shane growled. Damn, he started to sound like his father, already!

Vince and Shane started pushing each other. "Listen to the voice of reason. Listen to the voice of experience! Give the people what they WANT!" shouted the owner of the WWF.

I saw Shane out the corner of my eye. He seemed worried, as if he thought Vince would win. I took a deep breath, milked the silence and… I gave Vince McMahon a Rock Bottom. A cup of water, or something, flew at me but missed by an inch. Shane started running around the ring like a damn pussy. He shouted at Vince and high-fived Stephanie. Then I turned to him, and Shane froze. He smiled and I smiled back. I shook his hand as the crowd voiced its' disapproval.

I laughed inside…and gave Shane McMahon a Rock Bottom as well.

I noticed Stephanie run out of the ring. Ah, who needs her? She's a slut anyway. I smiled inside and kicked Shane's right elbow. Since I had no elbow pad, I took my sunglasses off and threw them into the crowd. I then gave the WCW owner a People's Elbow.

The crowd loved it.

I posed again and I think I heard Heyman shout, "But which side did The Rock pick?!" I jumped down.

I picked up a mic and looked around the arena.

"Finally…!"

I milked it.

"THE ROCK HAS COME BACK…!"

I milked it again and held my head up, high. I breathed in…

"TO THE W…W…F!!!"

The crowd went nuts! I reared back and,

"IF YA SMELLLLLLLLL…WHAT THE ROCK!…IS COOKIN'!!"