Disclaimer: I don't own
anything that isn't mine. Duh. I only own my stories and my characters and my
ideas. And a bunch of other crap. That is all.
A/N: Well, the insanity continues my friends! ^_^ I loved the last chapter
so much, I felt compelled to do another one just like it! Well, not EXACTLY
like it. Friends of mine in the real world will be present once more to wreak
more havoc upon the authors. The little black cat from Trigun will, once again,
appear randomly throughout the fic with no purpose to the storyline whatsoever.
Plotholes will also be present. You have been warned, so any consequences
resulting from my insanity are not my problem. Have fun.
*******
Insanity Rules! Revenge of a Twisted Mind.
Chapter 4: P.W.P. - Plot? What Plot?
{ Back in Author-land... }
Ender: Ha! I finally won! Hahahaha!
LbH: Shut up! *Pouts*
Andy: You finally beat LbH at poker. Go you!
Ender: Who da man?!
Crazy: I dunno, I don't see any.
LbH: *laughs like an idiot and falls off his chair*
Ender: *glare*
Andy: Good one!
Crazy: Hehehe! ^_^
Kinneas: *in a corner, asleep* SNOOOOOOOOOORE!!
Ender: ô_o Dang, she's been sleeping ever since we got back from that place
with the lemmings and typos...
Andy: *shudders* Don't remind me!
Crazy: Yeah, that was just scary...
Zage: *walks in* Hey, what's up guys?
Ender: Don't you knock?
Zage: Do I ever?
Ender: Good point.
LbH: I'm tired. C ya! *Goes to room, which is currently filled with all the
other muses who are blissfully sleeping the day away*
little black cat: *sitting on a dresser top* Meow.
(Back in the room..)
Ender: Man, I'm beat! I don't want to have to deal with weird things today.
All others: Me neither!
Zephyr: *walks in* Hi!!
Ender: Don't YOU knock?
Zephyr: Zage doesn't.
Ender: Good point.
*Knock knock..*
Crazy: Wow, someone knocked!
Andy: I got it. *Walks to door...opens door* Hello?
?: DIE!!! *Cye plushie smacks Andy in the face*
Andy: O_o; OW! Hey! You?!
?: Yes me!
Kinneas: *now awake* Who's me?
?: I'm Sara! The one who sent my plotholes after you! I'm back for revenge!
Ender: Not today, I'm tired.
Sara: But.... I brought my Cye plushies! I can't be denied my revenge!
Andy: Yes, you can. *Slams door on Sara's face and locks it*
Sara: I'll get you! You'll all pay! *Laughs maniacally while running down hall*
Crazy: Right....
Zephyr: I just know I missed something!
{ In Midgar... }
People crowd around a large pile of rubble that had fallen into the Sector 3
slums, staring up at the newly visible sky and the strange thing on top of the
mound. Shinra soldiers creep closer to the thing, guns and shields ready just
in case --
???: ROOOOOAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!! *Smash, bang, crash*
Soldiers: AAHHHHH!!!
-- that happened.
Vincent: *rides in on Cerberus's back* Kurai!!
Kurai: *still beast-formed* ROOOAAAARR! *Spits fireballs at the soldiers, then
when satisfied they won't be back anytime soon, goes back to sleep*
little black cat: *sitting on a hunk of metal* Meow?
Vincent: *sweatdrop* I guess this won't be as easy as Takui said...What
has she been doing the last few days anyway?
{ At Takui's Palace... }
Sephiroth: *standing outside the door to Takui's room, wearing only his black
pants* Ya know, Legato, I think she likes me best.
Legato: *leaning on balcony railing across from Takui's door, also wearing only
his pants* Really? Why is that? I happen to think she likes me best.
Sephiroth: Because I've been here longer than you have!
Legato: Well, I didn't betray her for some other authoress.
Sephiroth: That was a fluke! A fluke! I was brainwashed!
Legato: Riiiiiiight. I've been nothing but loyal, and she relies on me most.
Sephiroth: You're just here to do her dirty work! I'm the one she really loves!
Legato: *runs hand through slightly ruffled, blue-silver hair* You're getting a
bit flustered. No need to get upset, unless you're lying.
Sephiroth: I'm her favorite and you know it!
Legato: You're just her beverage. *Points to the scars of puncture marks on
Sephiroth's neck* Only gluttons are in love with their dinner.
Sephiroth: Grrrrrrrr....Shut up!
Legato: Give me one good reason!
Sephiroth: *raises fists* Bring it on, mind-reader!
Legato: *cracks neck* Ready and waiting, freak show!
*Door swings open and Takui, dressed in the same silk robe from last chapter,
leans on the doorframe*
Takui: Would you two please shut up? You're getting really annoying.
Legato and Sephiroth: *stare and nod like little 4-year-olds*
Zechs: *from inside room..* Yes, please be quiet. You're really ruining the
mood in here. *smirks* Besides, Takui doesn't have a favorite.
Takui: That's right. Now, be so kind as to shut your mouths and leave. *Goes
back into room, slamming door*
Legato: Well, you heard her.
Sephiroth: *nods* He better not show us up.
Legato: I know. *Starts walking down stairs* I'm going to go work out.
Sephiroth: Yeah, sure. Wait up. *under breath* I still say I'm her favorite.
Legato: You are not!
{ Back in Author-land...at a bar... }
Zage: Looks like a win again.
Ender: Dang it! You rigged it didn't you?!
Crazy: Uh, Ender? You can't really rig "Go Fish."
Andy: Right. It's not exactly possible.
Ender: But she won 3 times in a row! 3!!
Zephyr: We know! We're here too, ya know.
Kinneas: Hey, look! It's our new friends! ^_^ *points to corner*
All: Huh? *look toward corner*
*In the corner of the bar, Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Duo, Li, and Cye are being
smothered by a group of obsessive teenage girls whose plushies bear the anime
characters' likenesses*
Nicki and Ally: I love you Duo! *hearts floating in the air..*
Nicole: I love you, Trowa. *cuddles Trowa*
Ashleigh: I love Quatre and Quatre loves me! Right Quatre? *hearts..*
Quatre: Eh..hehehe...s-sure! *sweatdrop* Of course...anything you say!
Jessie: You're so cool, Heero! *hugs Heero*
Heero: ...
Erika: I love you Li!! *hugs the boyish card captor*
Sara: *sighs* Cye.... ^___^ *cuddles Cye*
The authors: O_O Them again?!?!?
The girls: O_O Them again?!?!?
Ender: No! Today was so normal!!
Sara: Die!! *hurls Cye plushies*
E, N, Ni, J, A, S, and Al: *hurl their respective plushies at the authors*
Andy: Not again! NOO! *Gets pummeled by plushies and a little black cat*
little black cat: Meow?!
Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Duo, Cye, & Li: *stare at each other and shrug*
Sara: You won't get away this time!
Ally: Yeah! Duo? Go hurt them for us!
Nicki: Please Duo? *anime hearts for eyes*
Duo: *shrugs* OK! *jumps over table* I don't know who you are, but my
girlfriends don't seem to like you too much, so I'm afraid you'll have to
leave!
Zage: No way! We have just as much of a right to be here as you do! YOU should
leave!
Jessie: Hey, and I thought you were a cool vampire...Heero!
Heero: Mission accepted. *leaps over table and whips his gun out*
Ender: O_O NOO! Please don't kill us! We pathetic authors aren't worth it!
Zephyr: Speak for yourself!
Ender: You're supposed to be on my side!
Zage: That was never in the job description...
Crazy: Uh, guys? Maybe we should leave before we end up in another plothole?
*Right on cue, a huge, black hole opens up in the floor under the authors...*
Andy: Too late...
The authors: ...AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Sara: Ha! I TOLD you I wouldn't be denied my revenge!!
( Wherever it is that the plothole took them... )
The authors: --AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! *Thud*
Andy: Owwww, my head..... where are we now?
Crazy: *looks around...* Well, I see huge piles of metal, some horribly built
little shacks, some very frightened people, and...Shinra soldiers?
Kinneas: I see Vincent! And isn't that Cerberus and Fei-Oh and Tkarr?
Vincent: O_o; *sweatdrop*
Cerberus: GRRRRRRRR!
Tkarr: GRRRRRRRRRR!
Fei-Oh: GRRRRRRRRR!
Ender: Uh oh....
C, T, &F-O: O_O EEEE! *run away*
Vincent: Uh.... not to be helpful or anything, but you may want to turn
around...
Kinneas: Why should we trust you?! You'll probably feed us to Cerberus!
Andy: *turns around..* O_O
Crazy: O_O
Ender: O_O
Zephyr: O_O
Zage: ...oohh, fuck...
Kinneas: Huh? *turns around* ...oh, hello Kurai!! *waves energetically*
All, except Kinneas: O__O;
Kurai: *stares down at the authors with hunger and insane levels of anger in
her yellow-red streaked eyes...* ....hiiiisssssssssssssssssssssss.....
Vincent: Good job...you woke her up...*sweatdrop*..toodles! *steals a car and
screeches off*
Kurai: *long crystal horn glows, eyes widen, thick red-violet-black fur
bristles, thicker white mane around her neck gets bushier, ears flatten, and
the air seems to sizzle..*
Ender: Why aren't we running?
Andy: I'm too scared! O_O; _;
Kinneas: Cover your ears, guys! *whips out Clarinet of Doom(TM)*
All: *cover ears*
Kinneas:
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!
Kurai: *mysteriously (and very unfortunately) unaffected* *growls, while wisps
of smoke trail from her nostrils and between her saliva-dripping fangs*
Kinneas: Huh? It...didn't work?
Zage: Now would probably be a good time to either run or duck...
Zephyr: Why?
*In response, Kurai's jaws open nearly 180º to release huge waves of searing
hot, white-blue flames over the now ducking authors and hitting another large
hunk of scrap metal, which is quickly reduced to smoldering, molten steel...*
Zage: That's why...
Zephyr: O_o; ...oh...
Ender: NOW, can we run?!?!
All: Yes!! *run away, while Zage sprouts her wings and flies*
Kurai: RROOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!!!!! *Flares her wings and begins pursuit*
little black cat: *sitting where Kurai was until just a moment ago* Meow?
littler brown cat: Meow...
even littler white cat: ...Meow....?
( At Ender's house... )
LbH: *SNOOOORE*
Chris: .... hm? *yawn* Geez, LbH, you sound like a freight train...
LbH: *ssssnnnOOOOORRE*
Chris: Hm...sure is quiet out there...I wonder where everyone is? Oh well, I'm
sure they're fine....*yawn*
Peluso: (dreaming) no...no! Not...not the...whip! No!...Andy! Andyyyy! *snore,
twitch*...I'm innocent! I *twitch* I swear...I...dunno where the chocolate is!
No! I didn't take it! *snooore* ...I didn't put the bow on Cerberus either....it
wasn't...me...I...swear... *snore, twitch, twitch*
Chris: *sweatdrop*
Deirdre: *yawn*...hm?...
Chris: He's having nightmares again...
Deirdre: Oh...ok.... *ZZZzzzz....*
Chris: *yawn* hmm....g'night....*snore*
Peluso: (still dreaming) heehee! Hello faeries! Heeheehee! *flaps arms in
sleep* Weeeeee! I'm a flying sausage! Sent to save the *snore* world from the
evil waffle god! *snore, twitch, snore..* Heehee!
( Back with the authors... )
Andy: *huff, puff, huff..* Is she gone? *huff, huff*
Zephyr: *pant, gasp* I...dunno...*gasp, pant*..what's with all the sand?
Zage: It's called a desert...
Ender: Anybody mind if I just pass out? Ok, jes checkin'...ZZZzzzzz....
Zephyr: Yeah, but how'd we get here?
Zage: *shrugs* Probably a plothole or porthole or something of the sort...
Crazy: Man...*pant, pant*...I've never run so fast in my life!
Kinneas: Me neither! *huff huff huff*
Zage: Sheesh, you guys are lame...*leans on a boulder*
Andy: Hey! *huff* We can't fly ya know! *puff* You've got it easy!
Zage: .......uh huh...
Crazy: Yeah! We have to do it the hard way! *pant pant* Running!
Zage: .....er....*blink*
Kinneas: Ya! It's not fair! *pant huff puff*
Zage: ....um....*points*
Zephyr: So quit rubbing it in! *pant gasp pant*
Zage: ...uh....guys? Um....
Andy: What?!
Zage: .....We're in trouble...*points again*
All, except Ender cuz he's still asleep: *look where Zage is pointing* O_O;
Nooo! Doesn't she ever rest?!
Ender: Hey, some of us are trying to pass out over here...
Zage: *grabs Ender by the shirt collar* Time to go..*takes off*
Ender: Wha...? ...?!?! ACK!!
The rest: *start running again*
Kurai: *now running, smashes through boulders in her path in hot pursuit of the
authors..* grrrrrr....RRRROOOOOAAAAARRR!
*not far behind, a stolen Jeep, followed by three demons, is keeping pace..*
Vincent: Hehe...this is kinda fun...*puts on a pair of sunglasses and tunes the
radio* I let them wear her out...*checks the rearview mirror to make sure
Cerberus is keeping up...then looks up to make sure Tkarr and Fei-Oh are still
there..* Now this is revenge! *takes a sip of a water bottle, then tosses into
the passenger seat with his cape and shirt* I almost feel sorry for
them.....almost...*smirks*
little black cat: *sitting on dashboard with its own pair of sunglasses* Meow!
Will the authors ever be able to escape the rampaging demon?! Will Vincent's
stolen Jeep ever run out of gas?! Will the muses ever wake up and find there
authors?! Will the little, black cat ever have an active role?! Will the anime
characters ever be released from the grip of the obsessive teenage girls?! Will
I ever stop asking these stupid questions?! No! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--Huh? *squeak
squeak* Oh no....not again! NOOOO!! *squeak squeak* Help me! Help meeeee--*thump*
*squeak squeak* (the narrator has just been run down by last chapter's
lemmings...)
A/N: Well? ^_^ Any thoughts? Review! Personally, I enjoyed this chapter. Was it
as funny as last chapter? Gotta lemme know these things! I don't think I'll add
any more authors, just because I'll be ending this with chapter 6. Sorry to
anyone who wanted to be in it! Anywho, review! I'm sorry this chapter took so
long. Stay tuned for chapter 5!!
