Title: Chances Lost

Author: Penne

E-mail: pennenew@aol.com

Rating: G

Spoilers: Jagathon

Summary: Alternate outcomes to pre-Jagathon.

Lt.Col. Sarah Mackenzie couldn't believe the day she was having. Harm had succeeded all day in frustrating, irritating and condescending to her. She tried to push the hurt aside, but Harm's reference to her past boyfriends had caught her off guard, how could he have been so uncaring?

Logically she knew he would never intend to hurt her. Most probably he was compensating for his confusion about their "situation" by being flippant in his discussion with Sturgis, not to mention trying to avoid any speculation over their relationship (or rather at the moment - lack thereof). But despite this, she could not help but feel wretched, hurt and betrayed by the comments she had unwittingly overheard by the man who meant so much to her.

She stormed past Harm (whom, she noted with some satisfaction looked horrified and embarrassed) out of the elevator and hastened toward her office, trying to conceal her hurt and anger from her colleagues.

"Everything alright Colonel?"

A voice broke through her thoughts. Too late she realised who it belonged to and had snapped out a curt "What?" in response. Oh damn, it would have to be the admiral. She backpedaled and apologised, however he didn't seem to mind - he only showed concern and interest in her wellbeing (Harm could take some lessons from him). She beat a hasty retreat to her office. Great! On top of everything she had just been rude to her CO. Things were going from bad to worse. She considered going home and starting again.

Damn, damn, damn! Why the hell had he said that? He certainly hadn't meant it to come out as callously as it had. He had only intended to make light of the situation so Sturgis didn't become any more suspicious. Instead it had only heightened his old friend's awareness that there was something between Mac and himself, and hurt Mac in the process.

He had long recognised the fact that his arguments with Mac were always a challenge, they were well matched - and that he enjoyed them. However today things were a little out of hand, but he didn't seem able to help himself. He had wanted it just to come out light hearted teasing banter, yet (probably because in truth he wished he was being anything but light hearted with her) time after time he made matters worse.

Trying to apologise hadn't seemed to get him any further, understandably her back was up at this point and she had waved off his attempt. She also was suspicious of his motives when he tried to downplay the challenge of the race. He dreaded what the rest of the day had in store.

The Admiral waited for Commander Rabb to enter and seat himself before he raised his concerns about the Colonel's apparent mood. Rabb looked immediately shifty. 'What had he done now?' he inwardly groaned. The man was a walking disaster area! He listened to the Commander's explanations with raised brows, and then gained some satisfaction in deflating the Commander by explaining the Colonel had been training with him for the race.

Harm was a committed and loyal lawyer and friend, however occasionally his past life as a fighter pilot became all too obvious through his cocky manner. Although he felt strongly towards Harm, he could not help but take a little satisfaction from taking his ego down a peg or two. It does him good to be brought back to earth every so often, he reasoned to himself. After all, the man gets his fair share of attention - women dropped at his feet in a dead faint on a regular basis if he so much as quirked a smile in their direction (damn fighter pilots!), not to mention he had Mac's undivided attention. 'Not that I care' thought AJ a little too vehemently.

He headed straight towards Mac's office, frustrated that she hadn't mentioned she had been training with the Admiral, and accused her of playing him. She quirked an amused eyebrow and accused him of condescending to her - 'Oh yes, the day is definitely not getting any better'. He left her office showing indifference, however he was actually amused at her lie by omission. He supposed he did deserve it. Smiling he walked towards his office when a thought struck him and drew him up to a sudden halt (much to Gunny's annoyance who had, in order to dodge the commander, swerved straight into Lt. Singer who spilt her coffee all over him). A conversation he had overheard earlier in the coffee room came back to him: Bud had been saying how the Admiral could sometimes look intimidating, and Harriet had said he was very attractive. Bud's eyebrows had shot up at the perceived impropriety of the comment and Harriet had laughed…

"Bud I am not making advances, I am simply stating a fact. You yourself have said that the Commander is a handsome man - oh, which I agree with Sir"

"Ah…..Thanks" Harm mumbled looking uncomfortable, whilst Bud sputtered in embarrassment and Mac could not conceal her grin.

"I agree", piped in Lt. Singer, "the admiral is a package".

"A package?" enquired Commander Turner.

"Yes Sir, he has it all…he is smart, good looking, successful, and he was a SEAL…"

"Not to mention he is kind, loyal, good hearted, sweet…." added Harriet.

"And most important he has an edge - he has a little mystery" finished Lt. Singer.

"Webb has 'mystery' Lieutenant" countered Harm, "By that logic you should find him attractive too."

"Yes Sir," the Lieutenant smiled. "But the jury is out on who I prefer."

Harm was horrified, "Harriet?"

Harriet looked uncomfortable and apologetic. She looked at her husband, "Umm, I have never particularly noticed."

Singer snorted "Yeah, sure."

Harriet decided it was best to turn the topic back the Admiral, "Well the Admiral is definitely attractive."

Harm looked at the two Lieutenants', who had both adopted a faraway glazed expression, with unconcealed confusion and amusement. He turned to Mac who was looking distractedly past his shoulder. "Are you also part of the Admiral's fan club, or is Webb more your style?"

She turned warning eyes on Harm, "I choose not to answer that on the grounds that I may…um…incriminate myself. Good Morning Sir" she continued smoothly turning back with a small nervous smile past his shoulder, "would you care for a coffee?"

The rest of the room spun around, eyes popping, to be faced with their CO leaning against the doorjamb with his arms crossed, obviously having heard every word. With the exception of Mac they were all frozen in horror. The Admiral's face was inscrutable. "Much appreciated Colonel, carry on people. I would hate to disturb your conversation", he said levelly with the barest raise of his eyebrow. Nobody moved. "Thank you Colonel" he smiled as she passed him his coffee.

"Welcome Sir, well if you will excuse me." Mac slid past the Admiral who graciously stepped aside for her.

Everyone else mumbled their excuses and vacated the room with heads down, not willing to meet their CO's gaze…..

Dragging himself back to the present Harm recalled his partner had neatly avoided the question. Was there more to it than simply running together? He tried to stem the envy he felt for his CO as he turned on his heel back towards his partner's office and stormed in without knocking for the second time. She was on the phone; she looked up at him with a mixture of amusement and annoyance

"Sir I have to go, I have a …er…. visitor" she said into the phone and listened a few more seconds (So! She is on the phone to him!) whatever he said elicited a laugh "thank you Sir, I will".

She hung up, her eyes stayed locked on his "Well…?" she prompted.

Harm continued to glare a moment longer "Was that the Admiral?" He grated out.

Her eyes widened at his tone "Yes."

"Making more training plans?" He said sarcastically. His anger increasing as she continued to look amused.

"Actually no, he was describing the look on your face when you found out we had been training together." Harm's only answer was to narrow his eyes. Mac tried to compose herself, "Are you that worked up about it? Have your 3 minutes back."

"You didn't answer my question this morning."

Mac was genuinely confused "What question?"

"Are you also a fan of the Admiral?"

Mac tilted her head enquiringly and said in a low voice "Are you jealous of the Admiral, Harm?"

"No!" he said indignantly, turning away from her.

"Oh, really?"

He turned back, "Just answer the question Mac."

"What are you really asking?"

"I….its……you…..are you two…..together?" Harm couldn't believe he had actually said that, he immediately regretted it.

Mac's eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously "Well Commander Rabb, you seem to be the expert on my relationships, he's not dead - but does he feel like he is?" Her voice was low and controlled as it flung his earlier remark back at him. She walked to the door and held it open for him, he walked out, turning to her at the door. "Oh by the way Commander, with reference to your earlier query, I find the Admiral one of the most attractive men I have ever met!" At which stage she slammed the door in his face.

Harm turned to find himself face to face to the Admiral 'how does he keep doing that?'

"Commander?"

"Sir?"

"You said you would STOP pushing her buttons."

"Yes Sir"

"I want to see both of you in my office ASAP, get the Colonel NOW!"

"Aye Sir", 'Oh great, this is really going to endear me to Mac'.

The Admiral waited in his office. 'How stupid could Rabb be? How could he have a woman like Mac in love with him and do nothing about it?' AJ firmly believed Rabb was in love with the Colonel and couldn't understand how someone who had been so brave in aspects of his life could be such a coward in others. He also believed Mac would eventually tire of waiting. He had considered the possibility that maybe it was because their work situation did not allow them to have a relationship. Either way, their frustrations were creating difficulties in the office, whereas in the past they had made efforts to get beyond it. Now it was escalating out of control.

They arrived and stood to attention in front of his desk. He took a long moment to study them both, despite standing to attention Harm did not seem to reach his full 6'4", looked both nervous and deflated. His partner by his side looked like she was wound tighter than a coil, her expression stony.

"At ease", he sighed, deciding he was going to play his last card. "You are not leaving me too many options. I have a responsibility to the office of JAG, and I am concerned that the current 'state' of your relationship may be deteriorating beyond the point of no return. I had thought better of the two of you. I hoped that you would be able to sort out your difficulties outside of the office. However it is slowly becoming clear to me I can no longer turn my head from this ongoing saga. You currently have three options open to you." He stopped and looked at them, they both looked straight ahead. "You can decide between you which one will transfer from JAG, otherwise the second option is I will have to decide. OR you finally sort out what is between you - and I mean completely, so that I am satisfied you will be no longer causing distractions in the office."

He looked up; they both were showing startled, questioning looks.

"Sir?"

"Go ahead"

"What do you mean by the last option?" Harm asked nervously.

"Don't be naïve Commander, I doubt there is anyone in this office who cannot see your problem stems from your reluctance to admit to each other how you truly feel." They both went to object, but he raised a hand to silence them. "Believe me, if I thought I could avoid this conversation I would. You are not entirely to blame, I realise it is difficult when you have the restraints that your working relationship entails."

His two officers looked numb. "So, your choices are before you. Be aware, I will make a decision if you can't. Dismissed." He walked back behind his desk. Neither of them had moved, he looked at them, hoping his words had sunk in. It had not been an easy decision on his behalf; he couldn't quite deny the strong feelings he had for the marine Lt.Col. standing before him, but he knew it would never be. After a few moments they regained their composure, stood to attention and left the room.

Behind her desk Harriet was trying to appear busy whilst keeping an eye on the proceedings. 'What was going on?' she thought to herself. She knew better than anyone that there were plenty of repressed feelings in the office, but today things were really out of control. She wondered idly whether it stemmed from the feelings the Colonel and Commander held for each other.

Bud interrupted her thoughts, "Honey are you OK?"

"Sure Bud, I am fine" she answered a little distractedly, glancing repeatedly towards the Admirals office.

"Harriet, forgive me but you seem a little …….unfocused" he asked worriedly.

She finally turned her full attention towards her husband. "Sorry honey, I am just a little concerned for the Commander and the Colonel - they have been in with the Admiral for a while." She hoped she didn't sound like a gossip - she was truly concerned for her friends.

Buds face cleared "Oh that's it… the Commander has probably pulled some more court room stunts. I wouldn't be too worried. They can handle themselves." He smiled at her lovingly and pottered back to his office.

She smiled back at her husbands retreating figure, and immediately turned back to see a rather dazed looking couple of lawyers emerging from the Admirals office. Wordlessly they passed her and headed towards their respective rooms and shut themselves in. She continued to watch with ever increasing worry etched on her face as the Colonel closed her blinds and the Commander stood immobile in the middle of his office.

Without a second thought, Harriet jumped up from her desk and headed to the Admirals office. Tiner appeared to be away from his desk, so she nervously tapped on the Admiral's door. No answer. Again she knocked, a little louder this time. Still no answer. Taking a long shuddering breath she gripped the handle and opened the door uninvited.

He was staring out of the window, seemingly lost in thought. "Sir?"

His head snapped around to her, eyes flashing warningly. She almost turned on her heel and ran. His expression immediately softened when he noticed it was Harriet. "Lieutenant. Can I help you?"

"Sir. I am sooo, sorry, I know I should have waited, I don't mean to disturb you…." The words tumbled out almost incoherently.

He smiled, and then looked concerned "Is everything OK Harriet? I mean you are not unwell?"

"Oh no Sir, I am fine. I just…" 'Where to start?', at the Admiral's encouraging smile she continued. "Sir I was worried…" he raised a questioning eyebrow, "About the Colonel and Commander, and…well…you." The last word was barely whispered.

"Me Lieutenant?"

"Yes Sir. I am sure you have noticed the Harm and Mac have been a little at odds today, and I am guessing that is why you were just speaking to them. And please sir do not think I am trying to interfere, it's just that you guys are the best family I have and I hate to see you all so…so…" Tears started welling in her eyes. The Admiral was by her side in the blink of an eye handing her his handkerchief and indicating that she should take a seat. She smiled at him weakly.

"Harriet, I would never accuse you of interfering, you do not have a bad bone in your body. I appreciate you caring," he stopped and smiled at her warmly. "I consider you my family too". He said simply.

She raised her eyes to him. He was truly a wonderful man. She could see the sadness in his deep dark eyes. "Sir? What happened?"

The Admiral looked down at the woman in front of him, knowing instinctively that she would never betray his trust. He sighed deeply and sat in the armchair next to her. "It has just gone too far Harriet, I had hoped they would sort it out by now", he looked down at his clasped hands 'Liar - you half hope they will never sort it out'. "I don't want to interfere with them, but I cannot sit by and let them pull everyone in JAG into this mess they are continuing to create."

"I understand Sir."

"Nothing is final Harriet, I have simply told them to get their lives in order, or I will be forced to remove one of them…" he stopped at Harriet's sharp intake of breath. "I am sorry."

"No sir. Hopefully they will wake up and act upon their feelings - I mean the sheer force of their feelings for each other is enough to knock out everyone in the immediate vicinity. Oh…oh Sir, that was thoughtless of me…", he raised his eyebrows questioningly, she continued haltingly. "Sir, well, the romantic in me occasionally wondered what would have happened if you were not the Colonel's CO."

He looked at her thoughtfully and simply shrugged.

"If it is any consolation Sir, everyone thinks you are a dish" to which she received a hearty laugh.

"So I heard."

***************************

Mac hurriedly threw every file handy into her briefcase and stormed out of the office, her look daring anyone to stand in her way. She punched the down button in the elevator at least 10 times before the doors finally closed. Finally the bell sounded that she had arrived at the correct floor and the doors were about to open, and she bolted out them the second they were wide enough. Unfortunately she hadn't counted on anyone waiting on the other side and she crashed headlong into Clayton Webb.

It was an impressive collision, and if not for the quick reflexes of Webb she would have been sprawled out all over the floor. Despite liberally swearing in her mind, she surprised herself that she was also entertaining thoughts of admiration at Webb's quick action. 'I am losing my mind.' She was not, however, in the mood to show the said gentleman her respect, instead she endeavoured to disengage herself from his grasp, blushing hotly when she realised that to the casual observer a rather different interpretation of their embrace could be made.

"Mac, I think your ribbons are caught on my vest," Webb unnecessarily commented. What his observation didn't note was that it made them stuck chest to chest.

"I can see that" she snapped, raising her eyes to his. Her irritation increasing when she saw he was quite amused at the situation, and enjoying her agitation. She looked back down to the task of releasing herself, wrenching frantically.

"Mac I think I could…."

"Wait I almost have it….dammit!" she cried. Her hands had started shaking from pure frustration, and stinging tears were threatening to fall.

Webb raised his voice slightly, but gently: "Mac. Stop now!" He also stilled her hands by grabbing them. She momentarily struggled against him, and then stopped realising the futility; inwardly a little overwhelmed at his strength. Holding her hands he drew them away from the tangle and brought them together behind her back. "Stay", he commanded in his most authoritative voice.

This action had brought their faces inches from each other. She could feel her face reddening, and her heart rate doubling, she felt very nervous. 'God this is embarrassing'. His eyes held hers for a few moments, which curiously enough soothed her a little. "Sarah." He spoke softly and with concern. "Are you OK?" She nodded mutely, trying in vain to focus her attention elsewhere. "OK, good" He looked down at the mess keeping them tangled together; which her efforts had actually made worse. "No problem."

He shed his coat and then carefully unbuttoned his vest, making sure he came in contact with her as little as possible and took it off too. "I think you can probably take it from here" he grinned shyly, indicating the vest which was still attached to her.

Mac focused her concentration on the vest and discovered it easily detached now. 'Typical'. She looked up at him, smiling nervously, holding his clothes out to him "Thank you" she croaked.

He cocked his head to the side (which she was horrified to admit to herself she found endearing) and smiled at her. "So Mac are you OK now? Is there anything I can do?"

She looked puzzled and then realised he was referring to the mood she had been in when she barreled into him. Strangely her anger had lifted. "Oh….oh. No thanks" she tilted her head back towards the office, "just one of those days."

"Harm?"

She opened her mouth to object, deny, do anything to change the topic, like she always did, but the words died at the look on his face. She lowered her head, defeated "Yes."

He tilted his head so she could see him, "That wasn't so hard was it Mac?" Mac looked deeply into his eyes, searching for an 'I told you so', or the characteristic Webb smugness. But it wasn't there. She shook her head, partly in answer to his question and partly to clear her thoughts of this disturbing effect Webb, of all people, was having over her.

All of a sudden as she watched, Webb's aloof, unconcerned expression snapped back into place, his eyes drawn by a motion just behind her 'Damn, I lost him! Wait a minute - lost him? Was I looking for him?' she definitely was losing her mind. She turned to see Harm coming out of the elevator. He stopped mid stride taking in the scene, his eyes flicking between Mac and the partially disrobed spy. "Webb." He acknowledged gruffly.

"Rabb." Webb was equally as blunt. He gathered his clothes, turned and stepped into the open elevator doors, calling over his shoulder, "Good luck Colonel."

Without realising what she was doing she blocked the elevator door with her briefcase. "Thank you Clay." He stared at her for a moment, and then smiled in a way which she would have described as sweet, except that didn't sound right in the context of Clayton Webb.

"My pleasure Sarah."

She smiled and then stepped back and allowed the doors to close between them. She took a steadying breath and faced Harm. He was frowning at her. She interrupted his thoughts before he could start to interrogate her about Webb.

"How about a coffee?"

The frown fell off his face, and for a moment there was a look of pure relief and happiness. "That sounds good Mac." He smiled, and she thought, after everything that had happened, that smile made it worth it.

'Oh my god - what just happened? I need to find Harriet quickly.' Bud headed for the coffee room where he could hear Harriet laughing. He walked in to find her and Tiner chuckling over Gunny's attempts to rid his jacket of the coffee stain supplied by Harm earlier.

"Hey Bud, you OK?"

"Um, yes, no…actually Harriet could I talk to you privately for a moment?" Tiner and Gunny exchanged a look and left the room.

"What is it Bud?"

"I just saw the Colonel and Webb…"

"So?"

"Well they were, ah, close."

"Close? How close?"

"Very close. They looked kinda - attached."

Harriet contemplated what her husband had told her, 'another added to the mix - this was getting very interesting.'

Webb stood in the elevator contemplating what had just happened. He took advantage of his momentary isolation to smile (and dress). He certainly wasn't going to complain about being stuck to a woman as attractive as Mac for a while. He had been amused and puzzled at the fact Mac had been flustered by their proximity, but alone in the lift he allowed himself to recognise he had been just as disconcerted. Thank God he had maintained his composure in front of her.

He strode towards the Admiral's office. Harriet standing in his path drew him up short: "Hello Lieutenant Sims."

"Mr Webb, I was wondering if you have seen the Colonel?" She seemed to be looking at him very attentively. He returned her gaze with equal interest; it seemed pretty clear to him someone had told her about his run in with Mac. 'Well, well: Harriet is doing a little investigative work, she would be an effective spy - she is so impossibly sweet.' But he was not fooled; he had been doing this too long, however he decided to play the game.

He looked her straight in the eye; "No, I am sorry Lieutenant. Why? Is there a problem?"

She stared at him, knowing full well he was lying to her, and suspecting that he was aware of her ploy. Singer was right, he was attractive in a devious way, not to mention that voice 'Get it together Harriet', she shook her head. "It doesn't matter, thank you Mr Webb."

"Are you sure? You seemed a little concerned."

He definitely knew. Damn, he seemed to be enjoying her uneasiness. "No, not at all." She was having trouble keeping eye contact whilst lying.

He, however, maintained eye contact. He seemed to sense her resolve weakening. She looked down. "OK Mr Webb, you win, but I wouldn't be too proud, you have years of experience ahead of me in the arena of lying." He smiled. "Is she OK?" she asked.

"I think so Harriet." She was surprised he used her first name, but more surprised he had dropped the charade without rubbing it in.

She gave him an appraising look. He smiled back, appearing to be unsure of her motive, but you never know with Webb. Harriet startled at the elevator bell, and realised she had been blatantly staring for over a minute. His look had become questioning. 'Uh-oh, how embarrassing, no wonder he was CIA, he could hypnotise people into giving away their secrets'. "Uh, sorry, I was in another world." She covered.

His look showed he didn't believe her but he dropped it. "Well, I better not keep the Admiral any longer. Take Care Lieutenant Sims."

"Ah, thanks. You too."

Harm was stunned. Maybe the day was taking a turn for the better. Could it be that he and Mac would finally open up to one another. In a matter of months he had gone from barely being able to admit to himself his feelings for Mac, to being desperate to finally have it out in the open. He followed her in silence, afraid to disturb the sudden peace that seemed to have descended on them.

Covertly he watched her. The anger that had barely been beneath the surface only a few short minutes ago seemed to have evaporated. Harm wondered to himself what had happened in that short space of time. It certainly couldn't have been Webb. Mac was generally unimpressed by the spy, preferring to regard him with a healthy amount of suspicion. Even so, it seemed unlikely she had encountered anyone else, 'Well I owe Webb a favour', he thought happily.

They ordered coffee, and settled at a table which afforded them a view of the street. After a few minutes of steadfastly avoiding looking at each other, they finally tentatively locked gazes. They both smiled and laughed nervously. Harm felt the usual surge of emotion welling up within him, and despaired at the fact he couldn't find any words that would justify to her how he truly felt.

Eventually he decided he could wait no longer. "Sarah, I…" he was interrupted by a hand on his arm, female, and not Mac's. 'What now?'

"Harmon Rabb, I knew it was you." The voice belonged to a tall, tanned and toned blonde, smiling seductively at him. Mac looked at her with thinly veiled automatic dislike.

"Uh, Renata. Hi." Harm's troubled gaze willed Mac to bear with him. "Um…it is nice to see you, but I am kind of in the middle of something right now. So if you wouldn't mind……."

The blonde wasn't about to give up, much to Mac's increasing irritation. "Sorry, Harm, but I am planning on taking advantage of Renee's stupidity." She moved closer and turned the wattage up on her smile, effectively trying to block out Mac entirely.

Harm looked confused, and whilst trying to gently nudge the woman out of the way he asked "Renee's stupidity?"

"Letting you go." She laughed. "I am sure you can take a few moments out of your business lunch to catch up." She shot a brief look in Mac's direction as she pulled up a seat and settled as close as would be publicly allowed without being arrested.

Harm had gone bright red, from anger or embarrassment Mac couldn't tell. "This isn't a business meeting Renata. This is my…….my friend Colonel Mackenzie."

The look on Mac's face showed she wasn't particularly happy about the way that had come out. Mac smiled sweetly at the blonde abomination before her. "Actually Renata, our friendly chat had just finished, he's all yours." She looked up to catch sight of Webb walking in the coffee shop, and flung some money for the coffee on the table. "Excuse me." She added, eyes flashing at Harm, who was trying to remove the vice-like grasp of Renata and get up to follow her.

"Mac! Don't go!" He called as she stormed toward the door. She ignored him and walked directly over to Webb, who had turned to look, with undisguised interest, at the scene being played out.

"Webb, do you have a moment?" She asked, not giving him the chance to answer and dragging him out onto the street. Keeping her arm linked through his she set a brisk pace, almost a jog, for several blocks, willing herself to breathe.

She felt a sudden pressure on her arm and turned. His face remained impassive, a slightly raised eyebrow the only indication that their sudden bout of exercise may be a little out of the ordinary. "Mac, we have to stop here."

"Oh, God." 'Oh, God. What am I doing?' "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hauled you out with me, but I needed someone with me. You must have heaps to do and I am holding you up." She avoided looking at him, hoping he could not read the level of her distress. "I am really sorry Clay. You are off the hook." She tried to smile.

"No Mac, I mean we have to stop - traffic." He smiled and indicated the busy street she had been poised to launch across.

She stared dumbly at the movement of the street. 'What had possessed her?' She felt suddenly very tired, weak, and mostly mortified that she would lose it in front of Webb. Before she had the chance to escape she felt strong arms draw her close. She didn't react at first, she knew she had to pull away, but she needed the comfort so badly. 'From Clayton Webb?' However she was not prepared when her body betrayed her and actually snuggled in to the embrace. She raised her head and looked again into those eyes, which showed only compassion, and not for the first time that day Clayton Webb eased the hurt.

He had decided to grab a quick coffee, and ducked in to a coffee shop to hear Mac's voice raising. He turned to see her, obviously flustered, flinging money down on the table, and a very distressed looking Harm trying to go after her, however being kept in place by a tall blonde woman flinging herself on his lap.

Suddenly Mac was charging toward him (again), and urging him out on the street with her. He surmised she was shaken and, probably without even knowing what she was doing, had grabbed him for moral support. He allowed her to haul him down in the street. He kept an eye on her and realised she was in another world. He gently drew her up before she plunged out on to a busy street.

'Poor Rabb', he thought of the look on the Commander's face as she had left, he had been shattered. Webb looked at the shadow of the Colonel he knew in his arms. Harmon Rabb was everything in her life, which was why it took so little for him to upset her. Webb rather gathered that the scene back at the coffee shop had been due to a misunderstanding. One look and anyone could tell Rabb only had eyes for Mac, and had no interest in the woman laying siege to his arm.

Silently he took her hand and retraced their steps. Although she was trying to hide her tears, they continued to stream down her face. His concern grew when she allowed him to place her in his car with no response, and remained silent as he drove her to her apartment. He pulled up outside and sat waiting for some kind of indication that she was aware of her surroundings.

"Mac?" His lilting voice was low and soft. "Sarah?" She had allowed him to lead her from the car to her front door, which they now stood in front of. He sighed, as she still made no response, even when he removed her purse from her grip, and found her keys. Once inside she seemed at least to go on to auto pilot, she wandered towards her room, and he heard the shower running. 'Great! What was he supposed to do?' If he left the semi-comatose Colonel and something happened the Admiral and Harm would have his head on a platter. On the other hand, if Harm found him lurking in her apartment, he would be less than impressed.

He discretely called Harm on his cell phone, with no luck. He left a message asking him to call ASAP. Standing at her bedroom doorway he listened for some sign she was OK. "Mac, are you there?" He called. No answer. "Mac, please answer me." Silence. He raised his voice to one that would rival the Admiral, "Colonel, front and centre, NOW!"

He was rewarded with a noise and the door slowly opening. She stood in front of him in her flannel pyjamas, and met his gaze tremulously. She looked so impossibly fragile, nothing like the strong marine he knew. He made a decision; he was not leaving her alone in this state. He smiled encouragingly at her and drew her over to the sofa and sat her down. He flicked the stereo on and let music filter softly into the room. He removed his jacket and suit coat and flung them over the nearest chair. He stalked off to the kitchen and returned several minutes later with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate.

"OK Mac, you are privileged enough to be treated to the special 'Webb' hot chocolate." He was relieved to see she smiled at him and reached out to take the drink.

"Thank you Webb."

"No problem."

"No I mean, THANK YOU, for everything." She paused and sipped the hot chocolate. "Mmmm, this is very good. No offense but I never noticed this side of you before."

"Yeah, well don't let it out." He smiled lopsidedly.

"Why Webb? Is it always all work and no play? Is that why we don't see the real you?"

He looked at her carefully, not sure where this had come from, or why. "It is difficult in my line of work. You know - to open up. To let someone know you, when you can't always be sure that you can be there for them, or whether they want to be there for you." He surprised himself at the extent of his answer. The look on her face also showed surprise, and understanding.

"That must be very hard Clay, to stay so isolated from everyone - to keep everyone at arms length?"

"Sometimes, but mostly you learn to cope." He appeared very interested in the bottom of his cup.

She took advantage of the moment to study him. "Is that what you want though Clay?" She watched him carefully, waiting patiently for his answer.

He waited a long moment, without looking up he answered. "Someone has to do it Mac, I think I manage pretty well."

"Maybe, but that is not an answer, Clay. Is that what you want?" She repeated the question.

"I…."

"Clay look at me." The order was firm.

He looked straight into her eyes, and started to answer, but something stopped him. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. Opening his eyes he started again. "No, it isn't, but you don't always get what you want in life do you Colonel?"

She smiled and shook her head at the inference, she should be upset, but strangely enough she wasn't. "Not always, or sometimes you find what you want isn't necessarily what you need."

"Oh really? Who are you coming to that conclusion for Mac, you or me?"

She ignored the question. "Clay, what am I holding you up from?"

He was simultaneously relieved and disappointed at the change of the conversation. He looked at her - she seemed more together, but he didn't want to chance it 'Yeah right any excuse, Webb'. "Actually nothing Mac, but are you wanting to get rid of me?"

"No. I was hoping you could stay for dinner?" She shot him a nervous look.

"Sure. You don't want to be alone?" He smiled easily.

"Truthfully, I am more driven by the fact I am enjoying your company, rather than being lonely." She looked as shocked as he felt at the admission. "Does that change your answer?"

He stared a few seconds longer, 'was this a parallel universe he had slipped into?' She started to look embarrassed as she waited for his answer. Finally he managed to coax his vocal chords into working. "There is nothing I would like more than to have dinner with you…."

"But?"

His cell phone rang. "Will we be able to agree: Pizza or Chinese?" He grinned teasingly and answered. "Webb." He listened for a few moments, and looked at Mac who was busy writing out her pizza order. "Actually she is here. Yes. Hold on." She looked up and he placed his hand over the receiver. "Mac, I called Harm earlier." Her face clouded. "I was concerned about you, and didn't know what to do. Do you want to talk to him?" He held the phone out and she took it.

"Thank you." She handed him her dinner order. "Would you mind?"

He smiled his assent and walked into the kitchen to give her some privacy.

"Harm?….No, no, I am fine….Yes, I know. I am sorry about storming out before….I realise that now, but it is always so hard, you know?….I just don't know that the time will ever be right for us….Look, I am just tired, and to be honest….Oh, Harm I do too, but I don't know if that is enough anymore…." she lowered her voice. "No it's not because of him….What? Maybe a little….NO, he is helping me….Oh God Harm! I am not saying I know anything after one afternoon! But I do know that is really nice for life not to be so convoluted for once!….Yes, that's right. Life is more straightforward in Webb's company than yours. What does that say to you?….Yes….No….No Harm not now. I….Harm?" He had already hung up.

Mac stared at the phone in her hand. She felt that her life was spiraling out of control, and the only person who seemed to make sense was Clayton Webb. 'God, where was this coming from - Clayton Webb? Get a grip Mac!!'

"Sarah. Is everything all right? Do you still want me to stay?"

'Hmmm, that voice…MAC! Snap out of it!' Mac turned toward Webb, but kept her head down to hide the fact she was blushing. "Yes Webb, I would really like you to stay."

Webb frowned, reached out and tilted her head up to face him. Upon seeing her flushed cheeks his look of concern grew. "Are you feeling unwell?" He felt her forehead with his hand (which, unfortunately only served to heighten her colour). "You don't feel particularly hot. Was Harm rude to you?" He made her sit down and rushed into the kitchen, returning seconds later with a glass of water.

All the while Mac watched incredulously. Was this the same detached spy that they had so many dealings with? This sweet, funny, caring man?

"Clay, I am fine, honestly." His looked showed he wasn't convinced, her blushing started anew. 'God, nobody would mistake me for being a together Marine Colonel right now, I am acting like a teenager.' "I was just….ah….thinking of other things." She looked down at her hands.

He crooked an eyebrow, realisation beginning to dawn. "Other things?"

"Well. You know. Nothing to be bothered about." She continued to avoid his gaze.

"I don't know Mac, you looked very bothered just now." His voice was very low, and he had leaned in close so that she could hear.

She could feel his breath on her cheek. 'Oh Dear God.' Her stomach flipped over. She willed her eyes to meet his, but the more she tried, the more nervous she became, and his soft breath continued to beat a slow, teasing pattern on her cheek. His closeness was driving her to distraction. With horror she became aware she had somehow captured his hand, and was toying with it. Her eyes flew up to his, to note that he was staring at his hand in hers, with an unreadable look on his face. 'How the hell am I going to explain this?' "Clay.." Her apology was caught as he returned her gaze, and raised his free hand to her lips. For the longest time they stayed, immobile, looking into one another's eyes, losing themselves in a sensation which had been missing in both of their lives for so long.

The doorbell (on its third ring) finally interrupted them and they unwillingly drew apart. They exchanged shy smiles.

"I should get that." Mac broke the silence.

Clay nodded. His phone rang again and he sighed and answered it. Mac smiled again shyly before rushing off to the door which was now being banged upon.

She looked through the peephole. 'Damn'. She opened the door slightly.

"Harm."

"Mac."

"I told you now is not a good time Harm."

"C'mon Mac. How long are you going to make me suffer? I…." He broke off suddenly and cocked his head, listening. "Is that Webb?"

"Ah. Y-yes."

"What the hell is he still doing here?….No wait. I am sorry. You would have wanted some company. Do you want me to stay now?"

"Actually no Harm. Clay will be staying for dinner. As I said before now is no good for me. Maybe I will see you tomorrow. I'll give you a call." She smiled to try to soften the rebuke.

Harm looked like he was trying to catch flies.

"Harm close your mouth. You look like a guppy."

"Am I right in saying that you are entertaining Clayton Webb - the spy - in your apartment, dressed in your pyjamas?"

Mac looked down in surprise at her attire. She giggled. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Uh-huh." Harm looked like his heart had been ripped out.

Mac felt badly, but had been on the receiving end of this too many times to back out now. "Hey Flyboy, we'll talk tomorrow OK? I think it would be good to let the rest of this day pass without any more contact. Don't you?"

This appeared to mollify him a little and he gave a small smile. "OK Mac. Tomorrow. Promise?"

"Promise. Goodnight."

"Night." He walked away sadly.

She gently closed the door and leant against it.

"It is not too late to back out of dinner Sarah." His beautiful voice was so gentle, and worried.

She felt a smile bubble up within her. She turned and walked over to him, catching his face between her hands. His eyes were so wide they were almost popping out. "Was that work? Do you need to leave?" He shook his head. "Good. Then you don't get out of this that easily Mr. Webb."

A slow smile spread across his face. "No?"

She shook her head. "No." He started, ever so slowly to lean towards her. However the doorbell again interrupted them. She sighed, barely able to contain her frustration.

He smiled wickedly at her frustration. "That has to be the quickest pizza ever. I'll get it." She watched him go to the door. "Hi…. Oh, Hi Harriet, Bud." He opened the door wider to reveal two rather stunned looking lieutenants. Bud could barely stop his jaw hitting the floor once he saw how the Lt Colonel was dressed. He elbowed his wife pointedly.

Harriet tried (unsuccessfully) to contain a grin. "Ma'am we apologise for arriving unannounced, we just thought we would pop in and check…..Um….how things were going." She smiled apologetically.

Bud was frowning. "Yes Ma'am, can we do anything for you?" Giving Webb a suspicious look he added, "we are heading off to the movies, would you care to join us?"

"Afraid I may accost the Colonel, Lieutenant?" Webb asked amusedly. Mac looked hopeful.

"Ah. Well I am sure Mr Webb has everything, um…" Harriet sought her words carefully, "under control here. Bud, we should hurry to make the movie." She raised her eyebrows suggestively and looked back and forth between Mac and Webb. "Sorry again to disturb you, and.." she smiled, "behave yourselves." She pushed her bewildered husband out and closed the door.

They turned and looked at one another. Mac was giggling, and Webb wore an amused look. Without warning Webb closed the distance between them until they were almost touching. Mac could feel herself get light headed at his proximity. He reached up one hand and gently caressed her face, never breaking eye contact. She honestly felt like she was drowning - how could Webb be doing so little and affect her so much?

The doorbell rang again. He smiled and called over his shoulder. "Just a second." He turned back and swiftly and sweetly kissed Mac. "Just a second." He whispered and turned and paid for the dinner.

Bud and Harriet walked in silence for a while. Harriet knew her husband's mind was about to explode with what he had just seen. She watched him out of the corner of her eye with amusement.

"C'mon Bud, out with it."

Bud opened his mouth several times to start before eventually sighing. "Honey, you know how much I think of the Colonel, but her taste in men is……well…..questionable."

Harriet snorted. "Hardly Bud, what is wrong with Webb? I mean other than the fact he is intelligent, successful, wealthy and good looking?" She smiled easily at her husband.

"The Commander is all those things. Well maybe not so wealthy."

"So?"

"I just always thought…." He let the sentence trail off.

"That they would end up together? I guess we all did."

"Did? Harriet? As in you no longer do?"

"I don't know anymore. I think the Colonel deserves to be happy, and there is only so long that she can sit by when the Commander holds her at arms length."

"But he loves her."

"He needed to tell her Bud, without being prompted by someone, or something else. He should have told her on the strength of his feelings alone - not because he was worried about losing her. Maybe the chance of that has passed."

"But Honey, do you really think that something is going on with Mr Webb?"

"Truthfully? She is mad if there isn't."

"What about the Commander? What about his happiness?"

"I don't know Bud, I wonder if he just missed his chance at happiness."

Bud nodded sadly and they walked on in silence for a while.

"Harriet?"

"Mmmmm?"

"So you really think Webb is attractive?"

Harriet giggled. "Aw honey." She gave her husband a kiss and prudently avoided answering the question.

Admiral Chedwiggen waited for Mac to answer the door only to be faced with a rather shocked looking CIA agent. 'What the hell?'. Webb took an almost imperceptible step backward upon seeing AJ. The two men sized each other up silently for several moments, wary of how to act toward one another under the circumstances. AJ seemed to come to a decision first.

"Webb." He let the name hang in the air menacingly.

"AJ." Webb's face was closed, but he stood aside politely and allowed the Admiral to enter.

AJ strode into the apartment and smiled at Mac.

"So Colonel, I take it you have sorted out some of the …..difficulties you were having earlier today?"

A stunned Mac jumped to attention in front of her CO, acutely aware of being in her nightwear, and of how the Webb situation may seem a little odd to the Admiral given his orders of sorting out her problems with Harm.

"Sir, I…"

"AJ - Mac, you are at home."

"Sorry - AJ, I am trying to get a handle on the problems."

"And Webb is helping you with that." It wasn't a question.

"He is." She turned to look at Webb with the ghost of a smile. He had retreated to give them their space (and possibly to protect himself from the Admiral), but was listening attentively, and he smiled supportively back.

The Admiral observed the small but telling exchange with surprise. He watched Mac closely and noticed the agitation that had been etched on her face earlier had completely lifted and replaced with what AJ could only describe as a 'glow'. He scowled at himself.

"Well, good." He said gruffly, embarrassed at his uncharacteristic romantic take on the scene and turned to look at Webb, who looked prepared for an onslaught. "Walk me out Clay." His tone did not allow for discussion. "Goodnight Mac." He let Webb walk in front of him and turned back to Mac and said quietly "it's nice to see you happy Sarah."

The two men walked to AJ's car in silence.

"I know what you are going to say…."

"No you don't."

Webb raised his eyebrows. "No discussion? Going to break my nose again?"

"No Webb, I was going to thank you for whatever you have done to help the Colonel."

"And?"

"And??"

"Well this is generally accompanied by some sort of warning, which, by the way, you can skip. I am more than aware of just how special Mac is, and would never allow anything to hurt her whilst it was in my power to stop it." He paused. "I know I am probably filling a void for her at the moment, and that I cannot compete with Rabb, but I am willing just to be there if it helps her."

"And what if it more than filling a void?"

Webb allowed his serious look to soften. "That would be too much to hope for AJ."

AJ smiled knowingly. "I wouldn't be so sure. Take Care Webb."

End.