The Threshold of Darkness and Light

Chapter 19

Her eyes widened, her body freezing in its still position of staring at the grass. It couldn't be true yet it was his voice. But how was that possible? He had died. Unless John...No...he wouldn't have...would he?

"It's ok to look. It's really me." His tender, angelic voice whispered. And it was just them in that moment, frozen in time. It seemed as if time HAD really stopped. She could smell his hair as he knelt down next to her, putting both of his strong, warm arms around her waist. He pulled her towards him, bringing her body close against his. She could smell his hair as her face was buried into his shoulder, his white hair mixing in with her red hair. She could feel his cold tears dripping on her own shoulder and his body trembled slightly just like hers was doing.

"Y-yue...are you sure that's really you....?" She heard her own shaking voice whisper while her eyes were clenched shut tightly. "It all seems like some dream Yue...are you sure it's really you?"

"Then a dream it is...but I pray to never wake up from it, because this is the most wonderful dream I've had in all my life. Love is not something I, nor anyone can easily understand but I do know I need you with every being in my body. Happiness is all I want to give you, at any cost. So you dream of me and I dream of you and I hope this dream will never end." Yue soothed her.

Kina cautiously opened her eyes. And it was Yue that was embracing her. "IT REALLY IS YOU!!" She brought him into a tighter hug, feeling Shui trying to join in. Kina lifted up Shui, hugging her also. Tears of relief streamed down Kina's face. "I-I was so scared...I t-thought I lost you!! I-I...I didn't know w-what to do...!!" She blubbered on.

"Why awre you cwrying mommy?" Shui questioned Kina.

"Because mommy was worried about you! Are you ok?" Kina hugged Shui again.

"Bwut nofthing happened." Shui gave her a funny look then giggled, running off to look at a patch of nearby flowers.

Kina pulled back from the embrace with Yue but kept a strong grip on his hand. "Did he...?"

Yue silently nodded yes in the direction of the now crumbled cave. Yue cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound stable as he talked. "John wished that Shui would forget all that happened and that I would be ok, no bullet hole, no dead me. He gave up his own life to return mine and Shui's. He gave it up to give you back happiness Kina."

"W-Why?! HOW COULD HE HAVE BEEN SO STUPID! There had to be another way out! Something other than that!! THERE JUST HAD TO BE!!" Kina cried, pounding her fists into the earth. She didn't feel anything, she couldn't. For that moment she just wanted her entire body to go numb and to slip into a deep sleep, away from every horrible reality that she faced. And yet, she could never let that happen to her. Too many people depended on her and she wasn't about to let more down. She had failed John and that scar burned deep into her heart, a mark that would never leave her. It was permanent. Just like her actions were. She knew that you couldn't take back what you've already done. It had happened all too fast, too quickly for her and yet now it seemed like all it could do was reply over and over again in her mind. Every dreadful and grim detail down to the very words that had been spoken etched forever in her mind. And she regretted things but she also knew all too well the things regret can do to you. "From now I, I'm going to be careful about what I say and do because...I don't want to do something bad to someone I love and have them or me be killed and I can never take it back." Kina thought to herself.

"He just didn't see any other way out." Yue put his arm around her, attempting to comfort her.

Kina choked as she fought more tears. It seemed like all she had been doing lately was crying. But she couldn't stop the tears anymore and once again they flowed freely down her cheeks. "I'm being such a wimp...but I couldn't save John!! He was my brother and I was his sister...all I did was stand on the sidelines and watch everything happen like it was some nightmare! John is gone now, dead, forever! He's....g-gone...!! I'll never see his smile, hear his laugh, and we'll never tease each other like we did as children. My past is now all buried in graves it seems...mother, father, brother. You all left me...alone...!!"

"We're here." Yue gave her a look of genuine love. "We are your family also."

She felt his words pull at her heart, even now while it was breaking apart he still managed to make her smile. And she flashed him a smile that reached her eyes, even if it faded afterwards. And that amazed her. That she could still smile after all that had happened. But isn't that the most important thing in life? To be able to smile even after something tragic happens?

Yue blushed and smiled back. "Yes, Kina is pretty, even with her sad, far away looks and sorrowful smiles. But when she smiles like that....... oh, she is beyond pretty. She is the sun. She is the moon. She is......Kina. And just being that is perfect in every way." The white haired bishonen thought to himself.

Kina flushed, sensing Yue's eyes on her. She then turned and looked at the mass that had once been a cave. "John is somewhere in there. He did this for me...and I let him down!" Once again the guilt and pain began to tear at her soul, making her body ache for time to be turned back. And then she realized something. That was why John had done this, caused all of this trouble, plotted day and night for this wish. He had felt this same pain and he wanted to turn back time and change it. He wanted to make the past times be happy and not sorrowful. And that was why he was willing to do anything to have his wish of turning back time granted. Of changing the past, defying fate, making everyone a better life. "But John...you didn't realize that you can't change the past! The past is what forms who and what we are today and without the bad times we'd all be foolish, ignorant people who take things for granite! We need those painful, heartbreaking moments to make us understand that life can be taken away as easily as it can be given, that we must cherish every moment, we must see that we are not indestructible and we are all equal as people. If you changed the past you would change everybody else's lives. Where would Yue, Nuriko, Hotohori, Zion and everybody else be without knowing each other? You can choose what kind of future you want, you can change your future fate but it's impossible to change the fate of the past. I believe there is some kind of force that makes us all meet up with different people and those meetings, partings and reunions are all to either teach us something or for us to teach others something. We each change lives and others change our lives. You just saw this all too late to stop your actions...and so...this was the result..." Kina tediously stood up. "Defying fate, and having love lead your life...even while you're burdened with sin...from now on, we can give the gift of life...That's what you taught me John." She pulled off a few lilies that lay astern from the front of the cave. The beautiful purple flowers clashed with the horrid ruins of the cave. Kina picked around until she had a fairly large sized bouquet. She leaned down on her knees, setting the flowers where the entrance of the cave had been originally. "Good-bye John...I'll set you up a proper grave...right next to mom and dads. It's just how they'd want it, and you would too. Tell them Hi for me...I miss you all...so much...all I have left...of my family is..Grandma..." For all the seriousness of the moment Kina couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of her, erm, strange Grandmother. "But I have this new family also." Kina leaned down, kissing one of the flowers.

"Let's go home." Yue tugged gently at Kina's arm. She stood up, looking down at the lilies by the rubble.

"But Yue...the necklace you gave me is still somewhere in the rumble..." Kina pointed, ready to search through it all even though it would take months or longer.

"Don't worry about it. The necklace is where it belongs now. I'll get you a new one, a necklace made just for you." Yue stared into her eyes. His pale cheeks flushed a bit, staring into the beautiful eyes of the angel. No, she was no longer the angel. She was his… just his. Just Kina. And that's all she had to be.

"Ok." Kina nodded her head. "Yes...let's....go back home." She took Yue's hand and held onto Shui's small hand with the other. Behind them Nuriko and Hotohori linked arms, trailing after them.

~*~

"GURL I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS ALL!! I was ASLEEP! IN A COMA! Jeez, how lame can you GET!" Shiva sighed loudly. "It's like some greater power above me decided she was too lazy to add in another character and just knocked me out into a coma! I couldn't IMAGINE who would do that though! *cough* Lauren, the author *cough*" The brown haired girl took another spoonful of pudding. "And this hospital food is nasty! Get me some real food like Burger King or something! SAVE ME KINA!!"

The red head couldn't help but laugh at her silly friend. "Next time I visit I promise to bring along some Taco Bell, ok?"

"Good! And you better bring it or ELSE!" Shiva joked.

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say! Yue wanted to talk to you so I'm going to go. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm going to stop by John's new grave next to mom and dads. Then I'll join you all here!" Kina leaned down, bringing her friend into a quick embrace.

"Ok, got you! Bye! And don't forget that food!" Shiva called out to Kina as she disappeared out of the door. Soon Kina was replaced with Yue.

"How do you think she's doing?" Yue pulled out a chair, sitting down in it next to Shiva's bedside.

"She's still acting a little funny. Give her time though, it's hard. You have to let go and then slowly pick yourself back up. John was all that was left of her family except for Grandma and well, I heard you met Grandma, so..."

Yue nodded in wisdom, a look of fear seizing his face every time someone mentioned Grandma. "She's got a bit of a mask it seems, like she's plastering on a smile to stop us from worrying. But I can see right through it. The house is almost ready for us to move back in, with all the damages from before when you were attacked, jeez, it cost a lot of money but insurance covered most of it thankfully. Nuriko and Hotohori have been acting strange ever since the whole John thing though. I wonder what happened."

"What do you mean strange? They're always strange." Shiva smirked.

"They just seem more...I don't know...'attached' and more like lovey-dovey and stuff like that. It's like they confessed their love to each other or something." Yue shrugged.

"Yeah, sure! Like THAT will EVER happen! Nuri's too shy! How's Shui doing?" Shiva yawned, feeling sleep begin to take over her body.

"She's perfectly fine. She doesn't remember a thing at all. It's amazing!" Yue stood up, understanding she was tired and needed her rest. "We'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"YES! I know! Kina's going to the 'family graves' and then joining you, Nuri, Hori and possibly Zion and Nicholas, I heard." Shiva cuddled under the blankets, fluffing the pillow behind her head.

"Zion and Nicholas might be joining us, we'll have to see. They're all waiting for me though! Bye Shiva, thanks again." He hugged her briefly and then was out the door. "Waiting long?" Yue asked Kina as he jumped into the driver's seat of their car.

"Nope." Kina smiled but the smile seemed slightly empty inside. "They've kept me entertained." She nodded to the backseat where Nuriko and Hotohori were both gazing into each other's eyes.

"Nuri..." Hotohori uttered Nuriko's name.

"Hori...." Nuriko replied.

"Nuri...."

"Hori...."

"Nuri...."

"Hori..."

"Yes...?"

"Hehehehehehehehehehehe...I love you!"