Matte, matte! Before you kick me, let me explain! I haven't written in a while because – 1. My family and I went to Hong Kong for four days. No access then. 2. School just started and I need some time to settle down. Time with the Computer is scarce until I settle down into a fine routine. 3. Like before, I'm still working on other stories. I can't give all my time to FY. There! Now you know why I'm 14 days late (Eh? Is that right?)
So, if your wondering about updates for SOASBE, I'm ashamed to say I haven't done much on that topic yet, but I will get to work soon.
Thank you for your review, Otaku Pitcher! I wouldn't give Kasumi someone as low as Ashitare. Nakkie is okay, but he's only for Soi, and too blondie-baddy for Kasumi anyway. ^_^ We'll see about who she really ends up with, though…I won't spoil it! Got any other guesses?
Chapter 19. Return to the Real World (Miaka)
"Acckkk!"
Somebody was screeching fitfully. Loud as it was, it toke me some while to get up. I wanted to keep on dreaming...dreaming about Tamahome. Nothing nasty. But very sweet. Still, the noises were so loud and pained that at last I rolled my head sleepily to the side, and only just missed a pale coiled fist smacking my head. "What the-?" Sitting up, I realized that I was in Taiitsukun's Place. Mount Daikyoukozan. Of course. And yesterday she had tested us, and Kasumi...she had died, but now she was alive. We helped. Yes. That was it. A little bit more scanning, I saw that Yui was awake already, and had just finished putting on her uniform. Right now she was pulling at her ribbon smartly, and when she finished she secured it on her collar. "Morning, Miaka. Were you perhaps awakened by Kasumi's awful moaning? She's been unpleasant all night." The closeness that we shared yesterday at the reviving of Kasumi had melted away completely. Her tone was steely and formal. I groped about for my ribbon and tied my hair up sleepily, then shot a look at my other friend.
Her face was grumpy and red, and she was kicking up her legs and arms in a scary manner. I edged away from her just in case, then tried to make conversation with Yui. "Ohayou, Yui-chan! Will we get back to Tokyo today?" My question was meant to be friendly, but Yui seemed to think otherwise. "Hmm. I do wonder." She cocked her head to one side and looked at me. "Miaka. Please get dressed. Your hair is not such a lovely sight so early in the morning." I reddened considerably. Meanie. Hopping out of bed with a cheerier air than I felt, I gazed around the room once more and found my uniform, neat and crisp and without any stains, folded primly in the corner. The red robe I was wearing sank to the floor as I tugged on the familiar boring attire. "Ahh!"
A button scratched my arm with some violence. It often scraped it, actually, but it never hurt so much before. My skin felt raw. A sneaked a peek at it, and saw that my arm was quite red, and the markings of a wound were still fresh. Of course. The bursts of blood which we had given to Kasumi had come from my arm. I slid the rest of the uniform on hastily, then bounded over to Kasumi. I didn't like this fidgety state she was in - and a nightmare might be the cause of her kicks, so I poked her playfully and she punched an imaginary foe. "I'll be out to see Taiitsukun, then. I have some inquiries that only she may answer." Yui's voice was tart, and she stalked out into the hallway ever so briskly. I couldn't help staring longingly after her, but in a moment Kasumi's fist shot up and I wasn't able to dodge away in time.
Smack!! I actually went flying. My feet were swept off the ground, and I landed on my butt harshly, rubbing my chin and not minding the tears stinging my eyes. So that's why the big bullies always run crying when Kasumi hits them. The only good that came of her attack was her awakening, and she stretched luxuriously, looking somewhat tired and red-eyed. "Oh. It's you, fat little pig. Where the heck are we? Oh yeah. In the old hag's place." Kasumi did have a funny way of answering herself, didn't she? Her greeting was meaner then Yui's, but her voice not quite so cold. I chanced an opposition. "Taiitsukun is not an old hag!" She was up already, yanking on her skirt and brushing back some ruffles. "Mm. Not a hag, then. But definitely old." I patted my buns back into place, as they had gotten quite mussed when Kasumi had hit me. Some kind of silence dawned on us two, in which Kasumi dressed as quickly as she could. When she was done, she turned to me.
"Miaka." "Yes?" "Well...uh...thank you." I smiled. Kasumi flinched.
"What for?" I pretended, enjoying my teasing. I knew not to push it too far, but Kasumi's little bursts of gratitude were just so rare. "For...you know. Helping me get back here." She gave a rough stamp of her foot on the word 'here', and I could see she was imagining that she was stamping the sorry she said flat. "You should thank Yui too." "I will." "And..." I caught myself in the nick of time, and closed my mouth, running my tongue over the roof of it. Please don't make Kasumi press. She did press. "...And what?!" Her tone was no longer apologetic. It was demanding. I rather swayed on one foot. I knew this was wrong, that I would be telling on Nuriko, when I did say I wouldn't, but I also knew it was unfair. Plainly, Kasumi was in debt to Nuriko. Wasn't she? She couldn't go on not knowing that. I gathered myself up to my full height, which, unfortunately, was not a lot. "...And Nuriko." I finished steadily, and waited for her shock.
She did look a bit unsteady, but then a sort of triumph clouded her face. She opened her mouth to respond, and..."Nyan!" The now familiar green braids appeared out of nowhere, followed by the cute, baby body. "Happy Morning, Miaka-sama, Kasumi-sama!" She quickly bowed her head in reverence, then brought it back up. Kasumi gave me a wary look in the eye. We'll finish this later. I turned to Nyan Nyan, and nodded my head. "G'morning, Nyan Nyan. Has Taiitsukun asked for us?" "You right! Taiitsukun say for you to go to her. Follow Nyan Nyan!" She started floating out of the room, and I trailed behind her, Kasumi bringing up the rear.
Taiitsukun, Nuriko, Yui and the rest were all in the lobby, or main entrance.
We all exchanged hellos and I gave Tamahome an apologetic look but he didn't seem to notice. Is he still mad at me? Taiitsukun hovered about, waiting for us to settle down. When we finally did, she began. "Ahem. You are gathered here now regarding Miaka, Yui and Kasumi's return to their world." We know. "This procedure is a difficult one, but I think we can manage. If there are no objections, lets start now." No objections. Taiitsukun looked at all of us disapprovingly, under her wrinkly nose. Satisfied, she continued. "First, form a circle." We did so...Yui beside Tamahome, who sat beside Hotohori, who took his seat next to Nuriko (who was overjoyed), who plopped down next to me. Kasumi was squashed between Yui and me, and seemed very thankful that Nuriko was not beside her. The Gods be, those two always ended up together.
"Grasp each others hands." Nuriko and Kasumi gripped my own hands tightly. I couldn't squeak an ouch, but those two were so strong. My knuckles turned white from the pressure. "Now is the hard part. I need all of you to close your eyes and will with all your might for their return. It would be easier if it were only just Miaka, but three girls - that will take a lot of mind power. Concentrate. Force them back. Just wish it. It will happen." I closed my eyes tightly. Back. Back. Back. Back to Keisuke. Kaasan. Kirei. Haagen Daz. McDonalds. Shin Ramen Tei. Japan! I willed and willed. Silence filled the room. I could hear the others breathing deeply. They were all concentrating too. The only other sound was the soft, steady chanting of Taiitsukun. "...Hajah!" She finished. The last part was said loudly. For a moment I waited, expecting to be back in Tokyo.
When nothing happened, I opened my eyes. And despite myself, I found them traveling towards Tamahome. Tama...home. I'm so sorry. Will you be glad that I'm leaving? Will you want me back? "Miaka!" I snapped down my head. Taiitsukun had caught me. Everyone grumbled. We needed to start again. Because of me. The procedure started once more, and we had to shift the circle again. This time I ended up between Hotohori and Tamahome, Yui beside Kasumi and Tamahome, and Kasumi, much to her disgust, Nuriko and Yui. We all closed our eyes and concentrated again. And then I started feeling as though I was being lifted up. My tummy ached and my throat ran dry. I opened my eyes, to see what was happening. Half of me was gone! I was glowing red!
Some type of dust cloud was swirling around me. Panic swirled around me too. I blinked. Miaka and Yui were looking stunned. They were half-disappearing too - no, their transparency was up to their stomachs already, not just at their hips, like me. Blue shone out of Yui. Kasumi in turn was purple. I felt sick and surprised. I wasn't disappearing quick as them. What's wrong?! Take me home! What's happening?! Help! Tama, Hoto and Nuri were looking at us with shock. My eyes fixed on purple ones. He saw me too. Tamahome. "Tama-!!" I screamed, but my mouth filled with sand. Still, I heard his voice. "Miaka! Come back, okay? Promise me!" I spat out the sand and tried again. "I pro-" Whoosh! More icky sand came streaming into my mouth! I started crying. I wanted to go back home awhile ago, but now...I don't want to leave. I'm fine! But I'm not fine without Tamahome. I need him. I need him! I felt myself being pulled away. No! No! No! Please don't let me go. No, please!
Tamahome. Tamahome. Tamahome!
***
Something warm and wet rolled down my cheek.
I opened my heavy eyes, and realized that that 'something' was a tear. "Ano...?" I got up suddenly, and yelped. My back cricked. It felt stiff. I had been sleeping on a table. A wooden table. My...desk? My desk at school! Yes, it was my school desk! I was back in Japan! Back in my world! And...away from China. Away from...my eyes clouded. I got up, feeling distraught and tired. I looked around for Kasumi and Yui. Hmm. They must've left without me. Typical of Kasumi. And that's becoming typical of Yui, too. My hair felt sticky and damp. I desperately needed a bath. Can I go home, though? Kaasan might be mad. I've been gone for almost three weeks! I sighed, wondering if the police was looking for me. What if they thought I was dead already? Uh-oh. I had to get home and explain fast. By the prim black school clock nailed to the back of the classroom, I saw that it was close to midnight. Yikes! If I didn't start running now, I wouldn't be able to get the late-night train. The sound of my squeaky black shoes still rung through the corridor long after I had gone down the stairs.
***
I did miss the train. Now I had to walk a whole three miles home.
I dragged my feet the whole while and by the time I finished one mile, I was ready to collapse. Kasumi would have run all three miles without stopping. Yui would've calmly called her parents on her cellphone. So would Kirei - or she would hitch a ride of some passerby. No one would hesitate to let Kirei have a ride. She was a model. I was not. I had to slink all the way back home - not having the athletic skills of Ms. Otome, the brains (nor the cellphone!) of Ms. Hongou, or the looks of Ms. Hana. I was a nobody. I was a loser. A crybaby. To my friends, I was just there to follow their every command. What could I do to show them I was something too? Not just a glutton. Not just a baby. I could be someone. Really someone. And in China, I was someone.
I wasn't some stupid dunderhead junior high student taking cram school just to scrape by.
I wasn't compared to any of my friends by anyone. (ex. 'Why can't you be diligent like Yui?')
I wasn't just another person. I was special. I was loved. I was important.
I was the Suzaku no Miko. And I didn't plan on stopping that.
***
Honk! I was well in my second mile already. And just about dying of fatigue.
A car was honking at me. I started to feel scared. It might be some creepy pervert. I can't. But I am tired - SO MUCH! The car drove by me. It honked again. I started sweating. My hands felt clammy. When it honked a third time, I freaked. It must really be a lecher. Run for it! And run I did! I shot off and away. The power of carbohydrates can do wonders. "OI! Miaka! For crying out loud, why are you running from your own brother?" That familiar voice made me screech to a stop. Keisuke? The car drove by again, and the window was rolled down this time, so I could see my brother's stern face looking at me with concern. "Oh, Keisuke!" I hopped right into the convertible, panting with exhaustation.
"You little baka! What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?"
He glared at me, and I felt my eyes go watery. Keisuke must've been really worried. He hardly ever gets mad at me. "I-I...I'll tell you at home." "Hmm." Keisuke turned back to the wheel, driving slowly so as to relax me. I remembered something then, and said in a teasing voice, "What are you doing out? Mom doesn't let either of us alone at night." His face turned red despite himself. "I...well...Tetsuya and I went for a drink. That's all." "Mom doesn't let you have drinks either." "Oh, uh, really? I forgot." I smiled, snuggling back into the seat. The worn velvet of Keisuke's second-hand car felt real good on my skin. "Keisuke?" "Yeah?" "What do you know about books with magical powers?" "Oh, those. Nasty things, Miaka. If you ever come across one, better avoid it."
I felt something in my stomach turn over.
"Why?" "Because. Evil spirits dwell in those things, you know. And usually things happen." "Bad things?" "Bad, more or less." We had reached the apartment already. I felt shivery. Bad things. Evil spirits. the book of the Four Gods...from the little terrace of our room I could see Mom had all the lights on. "Let's go. Mom's found us out. She'll be dead angry." Entering the building, I yawned a sleepy yawn. Transferring worlds really wore me out.
Plus I still had mom to deal with.
***
"Young lady and young man, where have you been?"
Her tone was not forgiving. It was sharp. And hasty. Yet still affectionate. I knew she was worried. Mom's face was tear-streaked, and she clutched her hanky tight, glaring at us with a tiger's impenetrable stare. First she turned on me, her little baby. "Miaka!! Where have you been? It's smack in the middle of the night. You had me fretting two whole hours - I come home at ten and expect you to be all tucked up in bed, and I go in to check on you and your bed is perfectly empty, your schoolbag not even there!" Her voice rose every word, till at last it was a squeaky pitch, making my ears ache. I bowed my head. "I was...in school. I fell asleep accidentally." It was half-true. Mom slapped a hand to her forehead, and reminded me of Yui very much. I was a little surprised, though - two hours, only! I thought I'd been gone for weeks.
"Doggone that school, allowing students to stay even after it's closed! I'm ever so glad you'll be leaving soon. If you're sure your not hurt, go straight to the dining room and have dinner, then get to bed! You still have lessons tomorrow. Don't ever do that again, you hear? I was already going to call the police! Now, get!" I scampered away, grateful that she didn't whip out her broom and smack me across the hand with the handle. She did that sometimes, honestly. Her screams at Keisuke were still very hearable, but for once I was glad that Keisuke had been out.
I would have been sweating like mad if he didn't turn up when he did.
Later that night Keisuke walked into my room, looking tired. "Don't go out again, Miaka. Tell me, what happened? I know it couldn't have been just the school and falling asleep." I fidgeted slightly, but I knew I could tell Keisuke. So I did. The whole story. He listened intently, then looked at me without moving when I finished. "Well?" I asked. "Miaka...I'm too tired to laugh at you now. But please understand, I haven't got all the world to look after you. Stay away from dangerous things, got it? That book you talked about - the four gods something - better stay away. I can't say I believe you, but in case it's true...those books contain stuff like devils and such. A definite no-no for you. Got it?" I nodded my head, but my mind was not agreeing. "Promise me, Miaka. Promise me that you won't go back to that book. Not even near it." I felt lost. Tamahome had said the exact opposite. "Miaka! Come back, okay? Promise me!" And here was Keisuke, totally contradicting him. Who was I to follow? My elder brother...? Or...the man I loved? It was so hard to choose. "Miaka, did you hear? Promise me, now." I shook back my head. "Of course, onee-chan. I promise." My throat felt dry when I said it. My brother got up, ruffling my hair playfully. "There's a good girl! Oyasumi, Miaka-chan." Out he went.
It was like my heart had followed him. I was being ripped away from it.
Leave Tamahome...? How can I possible do that?
***
"Morning, Ms. Ying-chan!" I waggled my fingers cheerily at my teacher, and she looked at me as if I had grown a third arm. "Er...morning, Miss Yuki." He tipped his head in greeting, then continued to the faculty. I bounced into the room, and noticed that Yui was there already, riffling through her notes and looking tired and stressed. As usual. And Kasumi wasn't there yet - she would arrive exactly 8 minutes after class, panting and sweaty, having run all the way from her house (a good 7 blocks and 2 miles away), muttering excuses. As usual. Kirei wasn't there, and I'm sorry to say that that, too, is usual. She sparingly goes to class - ever since Grade 7 she's been going to modeling shoots, flashing her smile and being cover girl for magazines all over Japan. Sometimes she scuttled into class wearing make-up, her hair all done, and some strappy shirt showing through her briskly put-on school jacket. As for me, I was typical - I'd arrive 10 minutes before the bell, stick my stuff into the locker, clear my desk of candy wrappers, maybe have a quick chat with Yui, then stand up to great the teacher. Simple pimple.
I rubbed my seat lovingly, ignoring all the weird looks my classmates gave me. "It's been awhile, Futoi-kun..." I purred. Yes, I do name my things. I see nothing wrong with that. I even missed my locker, and gave it a good sniffing, just to remember its smell. Yui cocked an eyebrow at me, pulling at her fingers and studying some scientific mumbo-jumbo we'd been given earlier. I smiled back at her, and amazingly, she gave me a little grin. It made my whole morning.
Mr. Sei stalked into class, and we greeted him in our boring way. He was in the middle of announcing a test when Kasumi ran in, just as promised, 8 minutes later. "Sumi -*pant*-masen...I had some trouble on the road...some punk...urgh, never mind." She thrusted her tardy slip into Mr. Sei's face, shoulders still heaving from panting so hard. Stomping towards her seat next to Yui, she gave everyone a mean glare. Odd, but she looked more tired than usual. Something was bothering her, I could tell. Anyhow, I didn't push it. She'd tell me if she wanted to. If not, that was her problem. She'd bust me up for getting involved in it.
Back to the test. I started sweating. Not only from the heat, but I was getting worried. I hadn't been able to study the night before - Yui probably stayed up half the night working on those, and Kasumi couldn't care less about failing. Duh. But me..? I was aiming for Jonan. I had to pass! I sat there, nibbling on my fingernails worriedly. The papers were passed. I stared at them blankly. I don't know any of the answers! I tried to calm myself. Right. Answer the ones that I remember. That is, if I remember any. I started to work, biting my lip in anxiety. God, how will I pass this? If only I had studied! "Miaka. It'll be okay." That voice! Someone was speaking behind me. I turned around eagerly, looking for the familiar handsome face. There he was. "Tamahome!" I pushed back my chair, getting up and rushing to meet him. Yui raised her eyes from her paper, looking at the scene nonchantly. Doesn't she care? Tamahome's here!! Yet I didn't care. Tamahome was with me. That was all that mattered. Pooh to Yui and Kasumi. He had gone all the way here! For me!
I was so close I could touch him. "TAMAHOME!" I reached out to embrace him and...my hand slipped through thin air. "Huh??" I heard some snickering. Tama was gone. He wasn't here. No. He isn't anywhere. He's just some dumb person in some dumb book. And I can't even go near it anymore. I promised! Still, I searched for him. He couldn't have just disappeared. My eyes darted left. My eyes darted right. Yui got up from her table with some worry. "Mia-" she started, but I brushed past her, bursting through the door. My eyes skimmed the hallways. Nothing. I broke into a run. Tamahome! I had to see him. I had to! I'm sorry, Keisuke! I could hear feet pattering behind me. Still. I knew I would die without him. Tamahome!!
I dashed right out of school and started towards home.
***
I reach out for you
And you aren't there
In fact, you aren't
Anywhere.
Not in this world.
Or the universe.
I know it's not for better,
But is it for worse?
Must I always be burdened
With this horrid curse?
I always ache for you.
Haven't you ever ached for me?
Still, even if you didn't
I know you I must see.
I'm going to you now.
You needn't wait so much.
I'm hurrying up.
Because you I must touch.
I'm closing in
I'm going back
Because truly it's you
That I lack, that I lack.
Because without you
My world is black...simply black.
