The Threshold of Darkness and Light
Chapter 22
Kina yawned, stretching out in the cozy bed but being careful as not to wake up Yue. She sat up, the silvery moonlight shining through their window. Her glistening blue eyes looked over at Yue, sleeping soundly. He looked just like an innocent child. A tiny smile creased up the corners of her mouth. Kina needed to talk to somebody but she didn't want to wake him up. When she was with him, she didn't like to say the hard things. Then she rolled over and cried for reasons she didn't quite understand. But she still hated what John had done. And so she hated herself for hating what he did. She sniffed up her crystal tears, remembering something Shiva had told her.
~~ Flash Back ~~
"I made such a horrible mistake. I treated John so badly. It's my fault he's dead." Kina cried to Shiva.
Shiva gently pulled Kina into an embrace. "Man and woman are born a mortal being and we all make mistakes. It's part of the game. Just be more careful sometimes." She whispered to her friend.
"It's just hard for me to accept mistakes like this." Kina sniffed.
"Then, you can choose to suffer. That's also part of the experience of mortal life. The world isn't empty. Maybe there is more truth in how you feel than in what actually happens." Shiva consoled Kina who took in her wise words.
~~ End of Flash Back ~~
Kina ever so quietly crept out of the bed, finding herself wandering to her dresser and then the bathroom. Once inside the bathroom, she changed out of her pajamas, putting on a pair of draw string black pants. She pulled over a long sleeved black shirt that was covered in silver sparkles. With the flick of her wrist, she brushed back her red hair. Kina smiled in the mirror, glad she had shortened her hair length. It was cooler in the hot summer sun and much easier to deal with. Taking out some toilet paper (That Tama miraculously hadn't chewed up, Jeez, she did not know what was wrong with that cat. Suddenly he found it fun to play with her toilet paper and eat it), she wiped up a few stray tears. She pulled on her shoes, lacing them up tightly. Kina quietly tip toed into the living room where she found Shiva and Shui curled up on the recliner chair. Nuriko and Hotohori were both snuggled up close against each other on the large couch, asleep also. Kina smiled, looking at her friends and daughter. They looked so happy and peaceful. Carefully she walked over, kissing each of them on their foreheads. She then turned and walked out the door.
~*~
Yue reached out next to him, expecting to find Kina there to embrace tightly. Half-asleep and half-awake, he blinked in surprise. Or at least as much surprise as a person could muster up at 1 AM. Rubbing his eyes, he did a double take. Kina was gone. Then he heard a creaking noise from down the hallway. He put a shirt on quickly and changed his pajama bottoms for a pair of loose-fitting pants. He quietly stepped into the hallway but stopped as he saw Kina exiting the house. "Where are you going?" He thought to himself before running out the door, following her. But he made sure he was at least six feet away and was unseen, and unknown. "Kina...?" But he just kept following her, wondering what was going on as worry overwhelmed his heart. "What is going on...?" Questions haunted his mind as he ran after her.
~*~
Kina picked up her pace, breaking into a quick jog, which Yue surprisingly had trouble keeping up with. He WAS tired. But Kina didn't even know he was there. She ran faster, past the many dark trees that loomed over her. The cherry blossoms now looked like night creatures of the dark. She ran faster as her heart pounded loudly in her chest, hearing the gravel under her feet crunch. Then she reached her desired destination. Kina collapsed at the graves of her mother, father and brother once again. She had some strange urge to go see them, still pulled down in anger and sorrow from what had happened. She sat down on the grass next to her family. Kina looked up, noticing the moon shimmering in the night sky. It really was pretty. She reached out, her fingers outlining the names carved into the grave. The names carved into her heart. "Hello again everybody. I should be happy, I know. But I feel like something is missing..." A big part of her wanted to just stay here with them. She wanted to curl up into the smallest, simplest possible existence and let the world rush along past, without her. She lay down and then she curled up into a tight ball. Then a thought slammed into her like a brick wall. It had been in front of her the whole time but it took her this long to finally ram into it. And she changed her mind. She was alive, and they were dead. Gone. She had to try to make her life big. As big as she could. She promised John she would keep living happily. Kina sat up, once again glancing at the stars and noticing the simple light tint of the pink cherry blossoms in the trees near her. And she realized something. Maybe happiness doesn't have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, or about having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures. Maybe happiness was just a matter of the little up ticks- the traffic signal that said 'walk' the second you got there or the minute you get into a restaurant, there is no line. And the down ticks- the itchy tag in the back of your collar that wouldn't leave you alone or the buses that you miss- that happened to every person in the course of a day. Maybe everybody had the same allotted measure of happiness within each day. Maybe it didn't matter if you were a world-famous actor or a painful geek. Maybe it didn't matter if your family was gone. Maybe you just got through it. Maybe that was all you could ask for.
~*~
Yue watched her quietly with interest, attempting to be quiet as he breathed heavily. Kina could run really fast when she wanted to. He noticed how she didn't speak out loud to the graves but he could see from her facial expressions that she was lost and confused. And then suddenly it had become clear to her. She sat up, kissing each gravestone. He leaned in to hear her quietly whisper. "Good-bye now. I am going to go live my life with the ones I love. I'll see you all again, one day." And with that she turned, ready to flee back to her home. Then she noticed something. There was somebody there. Some kind of white hair next to a nearby tree. Suddenly, Yue cursed his hair color and the tears that were streaming down his face from seeing all that had transpired in this tiny moment in time.
"H-hello?" Kina muttered as she stepped towards him. He could hear the fear in her voice.
"K-Kina...it's me...Yue." He admitted, there was nothing he could do now. "I-I saw you leave and grew worried... Please don't be mad! I was worried!" Yue begged her.
"W-why did you follow me here?" She posed the question, still a bit shaken up and hiding a hint of anger in her voice. Then she let the anger disappear, she knew not to let that emotion run her life or else she'd be in for a hell on earth.
"Like I said before, I was worried about you. I know you've been happy but I can tell there is something wrong. I wanted to make sure you were safe and I was curious about where you were going at 1 AM!" Yue exclaimed.
"I-I'm sorry. I had to get out of the house and visit them all one last time." Kina replied softly, her voice a hushed tone. "I had to let go."
"It's ok. Nothing to be sorry for. I understand." Yue smiled at her, taking in her beauty that made his heart race.
Kina leaned in close to him, looking at his gentle features in the moonlight. She couldn't be mad at him for worrying about her, even if he did follow her. She had to visit the graves once more and he had let her, but just tagged along in worry. Kina smiled up at his face, wiping his tears away tenderly. "The one I love is the sweetest and nicest person one second and the most irritating the next. He has a sense of humor that always makes me laugh and smile. He is as playful as a tiny kid but could be as serious as an old wise man. The one I love has a sparkle in his eyes. The one I love is standing right in front of me." She whispered. Kina had to seize the moment, say what was in her heart. She had to tell him how much he meant to her before she was lost in life and forgot to. "Some people say that when you fall in love, you know it the second it happens. You feel it so strong it could knock you over, but I say that's a load of crap. When you fall in love, you don't know it at all. It sneaks up on you; starts to grow inside of you and still you don't see it. You don't notice it. The thing you feel, that big boom everyone talks about, that's when you finally realize you're in love. You realize at some random moment that you love this person and that you've loved them for a long time now. When you finally realize that and accept that it's true, it knocks you flat on your butt. It turns your whole world upside down and you don't know what the heck to do anymore. My world has been upside down since the moment I met you." She laughed quietly, her angelic voice fading with the rustle of the wind. "But I like it this way." Kina winked at him as his pale cheeks blushed a crimson red.
Yue looked down at her now sparkling, happy eyes. He had to say what he felt back, or else he too might be lost and caught up in life. His voice was a mere whisper. "Sometimes I feel like fate has brought us here. It's strange, the way things happen. The way a young bishonen can lose his parents only to find that there are others who will care for him as well as teach him to care for himself, even though he is different from them. The way that lives can change and end and the grief can bring us all closer together. The way that he can wake up one day and realize that without even looking for it, he's found something so precious and so invaluable that other people spend their whole lives looking for it and never find it. Kina, when I look at you, I feel like nothing else matters, except our daughter, of course. I know people think less of you for marrying a bishonen, but I could care less about the taunts I gained from them, I just wish you gained none. I could never leave you, because it would hurt too much. I've protected you in the past, and I always will, even when you say you don't need it. I can't help it because I love you. I never expected you to love me the way that I love you, but you do. And that makes me feel like nothing can ever hurt us."
Kina smiled from ear to ear, feeling her heart soaring, flying up in the night sky. She wished they had more moments like this but Kina was so grateful for them to come along once in a while. She was lucky to even have these moments. "I always knew I could depend on you. You always protected me and stood up for me, even when I was wrong. How could I help but fall in love with you? Every time I was in trouble, you were there. Every time things went wrong, you comforted me. Everything I ever asked of you, you gave willingly. There was a voice in me once, telling me to push away the ones I love, because I'll die soon. But you taught me to be strong and I overcame my disease. That's when I realized that in the end, all I needed was you. I could save a thousand lives and never meet someone quite like you. I could win a thousand fights, I could work day and night and all the money I'd make wouldn't buy you. And I know that you worry for me, that you wonder if I really know how hard it is, being judged not for who you are, but what you are. I don't care what other people think as long as you're beside me through it all. And when I wake up years from now, and I'm old and I've lost my beauty, it won't matter as long as I wake up beside you. Because I love you, Yue. You're all I need and all I want." Then when their words stopped, just two lovers staring into each other's eyes under the pale moonlight. He drew her against his chest quickly then leaned down, bringing their lips together in a tender kiss. She closed her eyes and melted into his touch, his lips, his kiss, the burning passion between each other, feeling so comfortable, and so happy with just this. With just him.
She loved him and he loved her. The two were together and that was all that mattered. Not their past, not their future, nothing at all. He'd always be there for her, a thousand tiny hopes shining in both of their eyes. They had love, happiness, bliss, contentment and much more, all in its most true form, something they'd never let go of, ever. And Yue was there to lead her, to protect her, to help her, for them to live together with Shui as a family. And Kina would do the same to him. With their 'extended' family they would all live together in peace and joy. Kina, Yue, Shui, Nuriko, Hotohori, Shiva, Zion, Nicholas, and Arashi. Everybody....
Author's Note: So what did you all think? Please read and review! I'd like to personally thank Lena-chan and Risuko! I could have never come this far without you both! I'd also like to thank everybody that took the time to read and review my long story! I appreciate any kind of comment or review! Thank you a million times! I am most likely going to be taking a big break over summer, hopefully I can get some writing done! ^_^ But I'm not sure if there will be any more "Even Angel's Fall" additions *sniff* How sad. Although, if I come up with any good ideas there is always the possibility of a story with Shui, as she gets older! So stay tuned and thank you again! I love you all!
Chapter 22
Kina yawned, stretching out in the cozy bed but being careful as not to wake up Yue. She sat up, the silvery moonlight shining through their window. Her glistening blue eyes looked over at Yue, sleeping soundly. He looked just like an innocent child. A tiny smile creased up the corners of her mouth. Kina needed to talk to somebody but she didn't want to wake him up. When she was with him, she didn't like to say the hard things. Then she rolled over and cried for reasons she didn't quite understand. But she still hated what John had done. And so she hated herself for hating what he did. She sniffed up her crystal tears, remembering something Shiva had told her.
~~ Flash Back ~~
"I made such a horrible mistake. I treated John so badly. It's my fault he's dead." Kina cried to Shiva.
Shiva gently pulled Kina into an embrace. "Man and woman are born a mortal being and we all make mistakes. It's part of the game. Just be more careful sometimes." She whispered to her friend.
"It's just hard for me to accept mistakes like this." Kina sniffed.
"Then, you can choose to suffer. That's also part of the experience of mortal life. The world isn't empty. Maybe there is more truth in how you feel than in what actually happens." Shiva consoled Kina who took in her wise words.
~~ End of Flash Back ~~
Kina ever so quietly crept out of the bed, finding herself wandering to her dresser and then the bathroom. Once inside the bathroom, she changed out of her pajamas, putting on a pair of draw string black pants. She pulled over a long sleeved black shirt that was covered in silver sparkles. With the flick of her wrist, she brushed back her red hair. Kina smiled in the mirror, glad she had shortened her hair length. It was cooler in the hot summer sun and much easier to deal with. Taking out some toilet paper (That Tama miraculously hadn't chewed up, Jeez, she did not know what was wrong with that cat. Suddenly he found it fun to play with her toilet paper and eat it), she wiped up a few stray tears. She pulled on her shoes, lacing them up tightly. Kina quietly tip toed into the living room where she found Shiva and Shui curled up on the recliner chair. Nuriko and Hotohori were both snuggled up close against each other on the large couch, asleep also. Kina smiled, looking at her friends and daughter. They looked so happy and peaceful. Carefully she walked over, kissing each of them on their foreheads. She then turned and walked out the door.
~*~
Yue reached out next to him, expecting to find Kina there to embrace tightly. Half-asleep and half-awake, he blinked in surprise. Or at least as much surprise as a person could muster up at 1 AM. Rubbing his eyes, he did a double take. Kina was gone. Then he heard a creaking noise from down the hallway. He put a shirt on quickly and changed his pajama bottoms for a pair of loose-fitting pants. He quietly stepped into the hallway but stopped as he saw Kina exiting the house. "Where are you going?" He thought to himself before running out the door, following her. But he made sure he was at least six feet away and was unseen, and unknown. "Kina...?" But he just kept following her, wondering what was going on as worry overwhelmed his heart. "What is going on...?" Questions haunted his mind as he ran after her.
~*~
Kina picked up her pace, breaking into a quick jog, which Yue surprisingly had trouble keeping up with. He WAS tired. But Kina didn't even know he was there. She ran faster, past the many dark trees that loomed over her. The cherry blossoms now looked like night creatures of the dark. She ran faster as her heart pounded loudly in her chest, hearing the gravel under her feet crunch. Then she reached her desired destination. Kina collapsed at the graves of her mother, father and brother once again. She had some strange urge to go see them, still pulled down in anger and sorrow from what had happened. She sat down on the grass next to her family. Kina looked up, noticing the moon shimmering in the night sky. It really was pretty. She reached out, her fingers outlining the names carved into the grave. The names carved into her heart. "Hello again everybody. I should be happy, I know. But I feel like something is missing..." A big part of her wanted to just stay here with them. She wanted to curl up into the smallest, simplest possible existence and let the world rush along past, without her. She lay down and then she curled up into a tight ball. Then a thought slammed into her like a brick wall. It had been in front of her the whole time but it took her this long to finally ram into it. And she changed her mind. She was alive, and they were dead. Gone. She had to try to make her life big. As big as she could. She promised John she would keep living happily. Kina sat up, once again glancing at the stars and noticing the simple light tint of the pink cherry blossoms in the trees near her. And she realized something. Maybe happiness doesn't have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, or about having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures. Maybe happiness was just a matter of the little up ticks- the traffic signal that said 'walk' the second you got there or the minute you get into a restaurant, there is no line. And the down ticks- the itchy tag in the back of your collar that wouldn't leave you alone or the buses that you miss- that happened to every person in the course of a day. Maybe everybody had the same allotted measure of happiness within each day. Maybe it didn't matter if you were a world-famous actor or a painful geek. Maybe it didn't matter if your family was gone. Maybe you just got through it. Maybe that was all you could ask for.
~*~
Yue watched her quietly with interest, attempting to be quiet as he breathed heavily. Kina could run really fast when she wanted to. He noticed how she didn't speak out loud to the graves but he could see from her facial expressions that she was lost and confused. And then suddenly it had become clear to her. She sat up, kissing each gravestone. He leaned in to hear her quietly whisper. "Good-bye now. I am going to go live my life with the ones I love. I'll see you all again, one day." And with that she turned, ready to flee back to her home. Then she noticed something. There was somebody there. Some kind of white hair next to a nearby tree. Suddenly, Yue cursed his hair color and the tears that were streaming down his face from seeing all that had transpired in this tiny moment in time.
"H-hello?" Kina muttered as she stepped towards him. He could hear the fear in her voice.
"K-Kina...it's me...Yue." He admitted, there was nothing he could do now. "I-I saw you leave and grew worried... Please don't be mad! I was worried!" Yue begged her.
"W-why did you follow me here?" She posed the question, still a bit shaken up and hiding a hint of anger in her voice. Then she let the anger disappear, she knew not to let that emotion run her life or else she'd be in for a hell on earth.
"Like I said before, I was worried about you. I know you've been happy but I can tell there is something wrong. I wanted to make sure you were safe and I was curious about where you were going at 1 AM!" Yue exclaimed.
"I-I'm sorry. I had to get out of the house and visit them all one last time." Kina replied softly, her voice a hushed tone. "I had to let go."
"It's ok. Nothing to be sorry for. I understand." Yue smiled at her, taking in her beauty that made his heart race.
Kina leaned in close to him, looking at his gentle features in the moonlight. She couldn't be mad at him for worrying about her, even if he did follow her. She had to visit the graves once more and he had let her, but just tagged along in worry. Kina smiled up at his face, wiping his tears away tenderly. "The one I love is the sweetest and nicest person one second and the most irritating the next. He has a sense of humor that always makes me laugh and smile. He is as playful as a tiny kid but could be as serious as an old wise man. The one I love has a sparkle in his eyes. The one I love is standing right in front of me." She whispered. Kina had to seize the moment, say what was in her heart. She had to tell him how much he meant to her before she was lost in life and forgot to. "Some people say that when you fall in love, you know it the second it happens. You feel it so strong it could knock you over, but I say that's a load of crap. When you fall in love, you don't know it at all. It sneaks up on you; starts to grow inside of you and still you don't see it. You don't notice it. The thing you feel, that big boom everyone talks about, that's when you finally realize you're in love. You realize at some random moment that you love this person and that you've loved them for a long time now. When you finally realize that and accept that it's true, it knocks you flat on your butt. It turns your whole world upside down and you don't know what the heck to do anymore. My world has been upside down since the moment I met you." She laughed quietly, her angelic voice fading with the rustle of the wind. "But I like it this way." Kina winked at him as his pale cheeks blushed a crimson red.
Yue looked down at her now sparkling, happy eyes. He had to say what he felt back, or else he too might be lost and caught up in life. His voice was a mere whisper. "Sometimes I feel like fate has brought us here. It's strange, the way things happen. The way a young bishonen can lose his parents only to find that there are others who will care for him as well as teach him to care for himself, even though he is different from them. The way that lives can change and end and the grief can bring us all closer together. The way that he can wake up one day and realize that without even looking for it, he's found something so precious and so invaluable that other people spend their whole lives looking for it and never find it. Kina, when I look at you, I feel like nothing else matters, except our daughter, of course. I know people think less of you for marrying a bishonen, but I could care less about the taunts I gained from them, I just wish you gained none. I could never leave you, because it would hurt too much. I've protected you in the past, and I always will, even when you say you don't need it. I can't help it because I love you. I never expected you to love me the way that I love you, but you do. And that makes me feel like nothing can ever hurt us."
Kina smiled from ear to ear, feeling her heart soaring, flying up in the night sky. She wished they had more moments like this but Kina was so grateful for them to come along once in a while. She was lucky to even have these moments. "I always knew I could depend on you. You always protected me and stood up for me, even when I was wrong. How could I help but fall in love with you? Every time I was in trouble, you were there. Every time things went wrong, you comforted me. Everything I ever asked of you, you gave willingly. There was a voice in me once, telling me to push away the ones I love, because I'll die soon. But you taught me to be strong and I overcame my disease. That's when I realized that in the end, all I needed was you. I could save a thousand lives and never meet someone quite like you. I could win a thousand fights, I could work day and night and all the money I'd make wouldn't buy you. And I know that you worry for me, that you wonder if I really know how hard it is, being judged not for who you are, but what you are. I don't care what other people think as long as you're beside me through it all. And when I wake up years from now, and I'm old and I've lost my beauty, it won't matter as long as I wake up beside you. Because I love you, Yue. You're all I need and all I want." Then when their words stopped, just two lovers staring into each other's eyes under the pale moonlight. He drew her against his chest quickly then leaned down, bringing their lips together in a tender kiss. She closed her eyes and melted into his touch, his lips, his kiss, the burning passion between each other, feeling so comfortable, and so happy with just this. With just him.
She loved him and he loved her. The two were together and that was all that mattered. Not their past, not their future, nothing at all. He'd always be there for her, a thousand tiny hopes shining in both of their eyes. They had love, happiness, bliss, contentment and much more, all in its most true form, something they'd never let go of, ever. And Yue was there to lead her, to protect her, to help her, for them to live together with Shui as a family. And Kina would do the same to him. With their 'extended' family they would all live together in peace and joy. Kina, Yue, Shui, Nuriko, Hotohori, Shiva, Zion, Nicholas, and Arashi. Everybody....
Author's Note: So what did you all think? Please read and review! I'd like to personally thank Lena-chan and Risuko! I could have never come this far without you both! I'd also like to thank everybody that took the time to read and review my long story! I appreciate any kind of comment or review! Thank you a million times! I am most likely going to be taking a big break over summer, hopefully I can get some writing done! ^_^ But I'm not sure if there will be any more "Even Angel's Fall" additions *sniff* How sad. Although, if I come up with any good ideas there is always the possibility of a story with Shui, as she gets older! So stay tuned and thank you again! I love you all!
