Disclaimer: The Reality Benders own nothing of Sailormoon, only this unusual storyline



Chapter Three:

The Same Past—Hidden Emotions

Hotaru rolled over in bed and opened her eyes. The sunlight was streaming through the crystal window of the bedroom. She vaguely wondered why her head pounded and why her pilows were stained with tears.

Then everything came back to her. Queen Selenity had sent them to Kinmoku for a 'vacation'. But it wasn't, really. The Queen knew that there was a conflict between the Outers and the Lights, and she wasn't having it. She said that none of the Sailors must have any conflict whatsoever between each other, for it would only prove the ruination of the entire Sailor congregation.

The Outers (at least, Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna) steadfastly protested against this, saying that they were on straight terms with the Lights and that there was no such conflict anymore. But of course, how do you lie from the Queen? And so they were shipped off to Kinmoku to finish this, but apparently, they weren't telling the Lights about to actual motive of the trip. Whether it was to annoy Queen Selenity and make her drop the whole thing or just not being in a disposition to tell the Lights remained with the Outers.

There was a little trouble in Hotaru's case: she had never become come close enough with the Lights to have as much conflict as the others did, but she had never known them very well either, but she'd heard of them from everyone else. So the Queen said that she would go to, to become friends with the Lights.

Hotaru sighed, tears stinging her eyes again. Make friends, huh? Where was she now? She had very nearly gotten the Lights into serious trouble all because of her own carelessness. She was just so frightened of making the wrong move. The Outers, along the way, had insisted that she not have any contact with the Lights because "they're just no good for us." But before she had even left, the Inners had said, "You have to make friends with the Lights! They're a good lot once you get to know them better."

What was she to do? She grew even more frightened and confused. At the ball she knew that Yaten wasn't very happy with her arrival, because he'd looked at her so coldly. So, unable to bear the circumstances, she took refuge outside, only to be found out again by the same Light. And she got him into trouble by her own carelessness.

But she had managed to truly say sorry to Prince Yaten (she thought it would only be proper for her to call him such) and bail him and his 'brother' out of it without the others knowing (they would surely rebuke her for it), and now she was to leave. Somehow, she felt only little frightened about it, but she knew that he would be happy. After all she'd done…

She sighed and stood up. She glanced at the mirror and blinked. She thought she'd looked good for someone who'd been crying all night. Oh well, it wouldn't matter anyway. She began to fix herself up, for she had told the queen that she would have breakfast first before leaving. She only hoped that it would be a…less hazardous affair than last night.

She put on her flourite, amethyst and gold tiara and finally went to exit her door. She was staring at the floor, feeling lower than she'd been on most days. It was just too much for her to bear all of this.

But a surprise awaited her when she opened her door. Just on the floor outside it lay a beautiful yellow rose. There was no one in the hall. Hotaru was completely dumbstruck at the sight of it. Then she remembered something that one of the Inners (maybe Minako) had said before, and one of the few times that she'd heard of the Lights.

"Seiya likes the red roses best, Mako-chan—the one who likes yellow roses a lot is Yaten."

"Prince Yaten…" she whispered silently to herself. Then she had a fleeting remembrance of Yaten last night.

"You needn't be so scared…it wasn't your fault…perhaps it was mine, that I didn't understand before…"

Even now as she thought about it, Yaten's words were vague to her ears—sounding cold yet relenting at the same time. But she found a (no matter how strange and small) feeling of comfort in them.

Slowly and hesitatingly, she picked up the rose, wondering if Yaten had dropped it, or someone else, or (even thought the chances were extremely minute in her opinion) it was put there by Yaten on purpose.

She lifted the rose and held it close to her face, inhaling it's sweet scent. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, she heard a voice speaking to her only in her mind.

"I've spoken to the Queen. It's all right now. You're not going anywhere. You'll stay in this palace with everyone."

The words were fully comprehendible, but they still surprised her. She knew the voice, however. She looked up and to Yaten's door, and just saw it shut. She thought she saw a flash of silver at the crack before it totally closed.

Hotaru couldn't help it. She smiled. She felt very light all of a sudden, and she didn't know whether she should thank Yaten or wonder why he did it. She thought he'd be happy if she left, but he had her stay. He was quite… strange, but no stranger than she could possibly be.

She turned to the direction of the dining hall, but before she took a few steps, she remembered the rose in her hands and what she ought to do with it.

"By the way…" said the voice again, "that rose is yours."

Now Hotaru was even more surprised. Her eyes widened, and she turned to look at Yaten's door again. It remained shut. Hotaru bit her lip and glanced at the rose. It was so pretty that she smiled a little. Then she turned to the dining hall again.

~~*~~

"Good morning, princess," smiled the Queen as soon as Hotaru entered the dining hall. She smiled weakly at her, but then she blinked in surprise.

The dining hall (the only proper word for it was 'hall') was quite large, with a long table stretching to both ends, but the only people on the table were the queen (at the head) with Kakyuu, Seiya and Taiki all on one side. Yaten nor any of the other Stars were present.

Taiki narrowed his eyes at her, but dropped his eyes when he saw that the Queen was looking. The Queen was still staring at the three who're already seated, and Kakyuu kicked Seiya under the table. Seiya winced, but said, "Good—good morning, Princess Hotaru."

Hotaru gave him a tight smile and said quietly, "Good morning, Prince Seiya."; she still felt quite uncomfortable around them, especially since the incident last night. She walked to her place on the table, across Seiya, and a servant pulled her chair out for her. She sat herself, and looked at the meal that was put before her.

The others resumed eating in relative silence. Just then, from the doorway entered Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna, looking quite stony-faced as they saw the Lights. But she could tell that they were surprised not to see Yaten there. Hotaru herself was wondering where he was.

The Queen greeted them, and they greeted her back, but Hotaru noticed that not even Seiya dared say a greeting to them. Seiya knew how bad Haruka's anger can go if you pushed the right buttons, and Taiki was nowhere near in the mood to greet any of them at all.

There was a sullen silence at the table. Then the queen said, "Princess Hotaru, I'm sure that you know of…the changes in the circumstances you've proposed last night."

The others stopped and stared at them. Hotaru tried to ignore the looks on their face nodded. "Y-yes, Your Majesty. Prince Yaten…has just informed me of them before I came in."

Haruka looked absolutely appalled and opened her mouth to say something, but glanced at Queen Kakyoku and decided not to. She just sat and glared at her food, like what Michiru was doing. Hotaru was wondering if the reason as to why they hadn't eaten was because they were wondering if any of the Lights had done anything to it. Setsuna, being more sensible, carried on with her meal as if nothing has happened.

Seiya, Taiki and Kakyuu looked at each other, but decided not to say anything about it as well. They'd grill Yaten for it later.

Hotaru suddenly felt really thirsty because of her nervousness, and took the golden goblet on her place. Without thinking (or looking) she drained the goblet of the liquid in it, but immediately gagged. She knocked over the goblet as she tried to set it down, spilling the remaining white fluid all down the satin tablecloth, and everyone looked up with a start.

The queen stared in surprise and asked, "Princess Hotaru, what's wrong?"

"Was—was that milk?" she choked in shock, vaguely aware that the Lights were staring at her.

"Why yes," replied the queen, looking into her own goblet. "It's fresh milk from the dairy."

"Oh god!" Hotaru clapped a hand over her mouth and stood up. "E-excuse me, I—I have to—" Then she stumbled out of the dining hall.

"Hotaru!" cried Setsuna after her.

"Will you be all right?" Haruka cried.

"Do you want us to come with you?" Michiru called.

"No! I'll be fine!!" Hotaru choked back through her hand as she ran out of the hall and into the corridor. She could hear the queen asking, "What's the matter? What happened?"

"She's lactose-intolerant," she could hear Michiru's explaining fade away, and Hotaru felt her cheeks burn. Great. Another reason as to why I'm a total freak…

Hotaru wasn't sure where to go, but she plunged straight out into the garden and leaned on the wall for support. Then she ducked under and threw up.

Breathing hard as she got up, she choked, "Oh god…of everything one can drink in this star…why milk?" Then she gagged and vomited again.

She was still breathing hard downwards for a while, feeling something was still going to come out.

"I take it you're lactose-intolerant," said a voice from above her.

Surprised, she looked up and saw Yaten leaning over the stone railing above her and looking at her. Her cheeks burned as he stared at her, a mighty planetary princess, throwing up on the garden wall just because of a stupid white liquid. But then, she felt something come up, and ducked down once again.

She knew Yaten was wincing as he watched her (she even wondered why he was watching if it bothered him so much) and she felt that it was over. Getting up, she stumbled backwards and choked, "I—I'm sorry, I—I just…" She groaned and stumbled to a fountain. She knelt on its edge and began throwing water on her face, breathing hard.

The cool water calmed her, and she flopped down on the marble edge, exhausted. Then, she heard footsteps approaching, and of course, it was Yaten.

He sat on the fountain edge without looking at her and said, "Well! I guess everybody throws up the same way whether you're a royal or not."

Hotaru wasn't sure if he was cracking a joke or making fun of her, so she just kept her mouth shut, and remianed on the edge staring at her reflection in the water.

"You ought to get up," he said, ignoring her silence. "You'll feel worse if you stay like that. I daresay you don't want another round of…that." He motioned to the garden wall where Hotaru had previously been.

Then Hotaru decided that he was right, and she sat on the edge right next to him. She leaned forward, trying to catch her breath, and there was silence for a moment.

"Are you all right now?" Yaten asked in a flat tone.

Hotaru could only nod, unsure of what to say or do, and her cheeks went red. This time, she took the precaution of sealing her thoughts, so that Yaten won't be able to hear even if he tried. She looked away.

Yaten sighed and then gave a small laugh that seemed almost cold and mocking. "That was a lot. How much milk did you have before you realized what it was?"

"About…a gobletful…" Hotaru replied slowly.

Yaten laughed shortly. "No wonder."

Hotaru felt confused again. Yaten didn't sound friendly, but he didn't sound cold, either. It was a tone she couldn't read, so she had no choice but reply as little as possible to prevent…incident. She began wondering why he was sitting beside her right now and wasting his obviously valuable time with her.

Her head began to hurt with all the thoughts, as if she wasn't stressed enough. She felt rather dizzy and everything seemed to spin. At first, she thought that she was going to fall facefirst into the soil, but she felt a sudden firm grip on her arm that kept her still. It was Yaten, of course.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, pulling her back up.

"S-sorry," she stammered, going very red and holding her forehead as Yaten let go of her, but not after he seemed sure that she wasn't going to fall again. Hotaru faltered, "I—I still have some dizzy spells once in a while and…" her voice trailed off and she looked away.

"Boy, you're weird," Yaten said, shaking his head.

Hotaru reddened even more. I know…

"But you remind me of myself once."

Hotaru was so surprised that she looked at him. He was staring up at the sky. "Yeah. I was like that. But I wasn't lactose-intolerant or anything. I was just too quiet and alone." He gave a short laugh. "Lotus usually called me a shadow."

"L-Lotus?" Hotaru asked.

"Oh, that's right, you don't know," Yaten sat up. "He's my twin."

"Where is he?" asked Hotaru. She was certain that she hadn't seen him in the palace or with the Lights.

Yaten paused for a while, then said very quietly, "He's…he's dead. With the rest of my family."

Hotaru immediately went very red and embarrassed. "I—I'm sorry for asking. It—it really isn't any of my business…"

But she felt a pang. She realized that she had no one too. Her mom was dead, she was an only child, and her father was still a little…unfocused. She had the Stars like Yaten had the Lights. He was…probably the only person who'd understand how all of this goes for her.

"That's all right," he said quietly. "I've gotten over it ages ago…" he gave a short laugh. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this."

Hotaru bit her lip and went red again. She looked away. "I—I believe I'm kind of like that myself."

Yaten looked at her in surprise. She didn't look at him, but she said, "My mother died when I was very young, and not even my father is there for me now. I guess…I'm alone too."

"I guess everybody will be, someday," Yaten said, and Hotaru did not reply for a moment.

There was silence for a while and she whispered, "H-how did you know that I was here? I-in the garden, I mean."

"I was about to go to the dining hall when I saw you run like a bullet down the corridor, covering your mouth," Yaten shrugged. "Obviously, I'd wonder why and I went after you. But frankly, for someone who doesn't like Physical Education, you run fast."

Hotaru looked at him with surprise. He wasn't looking at her, but he knew that there was askance in her face because he said, "One of the Inners told me that when I said I didn't like the subject either."

They fell silent again, and Hotaru was beginning to feel more awkward and uncomfortable than ever. She dearly wished that this would end soon, for she was running out of things to say to him, and it would be impolite not to say anything.

Yaten glanced at her once, then did a double take. Hotaru wondered why, and she realized that he wasn't looking at her, exactly, but he was looking at her shoulder. Hotaru turned bright pink at once because she knew exactly why he was staring. She had placed the yellow rose he had given her on her sash like a brooch on her shoulder.

She immediately reached on her shoulder and pulled out the rose quickly, but she pricked her finger on one of the thorns. The natural reaction followed: the rose flew from her hand and landed on her lap, and she squeezed her finger with a gasp.

"Now what did you do to yourself?" Yaten asked, looking a little annoyed. But he saw her bleeding finger, and silenced for a moment.

Hotaru bit her lip and she reddened in shame and embarrassment again. "Oh! I'm—sorry…"

"Why do you keep saying sorry all the time?" Yaten suddenly demanded. "You haven't even done anything to me! You've barely even spoken to me!"

Then Hotaru felt the color drain from her face. She'd gotten him quite…agitated, it seems. More to her fault. She dropped her eyes and remained still.

Then she felt Yaten's frame beside her relax from its tense state. He was taking deep calming breaths, it seemed to her, so she had better do something while his anger wanes. "I—I just feel it proper, Your Highness… I usually have fault for everything so, and I perfectly see it that way…so how can this be any different, after all that has happened?" She felt reasonably ill by now, but decided not to let it get the better of her while she was in Yaten's presence.

She quickly shut her eyes, and concentrated on healing her finger, which took less than ten seconds. When she opened her eyes, she happened to glance at Yaten beside her, and he was staring downwards, not saying anything.

Hotaru took this opportunity to finish this before she gives him anymore annoyance. She took the rose from her lap and the handkerchief that she had not returned to him from her pocket. She put them together, stood up, and laid them where she had just been sitting without a word.

She stepped back and bowed to him. "Goodbye, Prince Yaten."

Then she quickly strode off into the open corridor before he could say anything else. She didn't think she could stand it if she heard his cold, unreadable voice again, mocking her, in a way. Her head began to hurt with all the thinking and confusion.

I have to get a hold of myself… she thought as she walked down the halls and trying to focus her head enough to get somewhere…like her room maybe, or maybe in the bathroom so she could throw up again. Her head was spinning so fast that it was making her feel sick again.

But she realized that she couldn't go on any further. She was just feeling so horrible all of a sudden, and then everything blacked out. She crashed into the floor, very pale, and lifeless.