Disclaimer: The Reality Benders own nothing of Sailormoon, only this
unusual storyline
Chapter Six:
The Quarrel
The sun was setting, and dark was beginning to fall all over Kinmoku. The trip back to the palace was a relatively silent one between Yaten and Hotaru, for they had been caught. Not exactly caught, but…they sill felt like they'd done something illegal. And it brought back thoughts of reasons as to why they should not be together.
Hotaru stared at her hands, and touched the yellow rose on her sash. She felt her eyes fill up with tears. She didn't now why, but she just felt like that she had done something horrible again, and she felt frightened.
"What's the matter?" asked Yaten suddenly in the same frosty voice he'd used when they met at the fountain.
Hotaru then realized how frightened she was of that tone of his voice. It made her blood run cold, like it wasn't the same friendly Yaten who brought her through town and danced with her. She just shook her head, but it was too late: a tear fell and hit the rose.
Yaten suddenly felt so annoyed. She was crying again. So what were his efforts to making her happy all afternoon? Wasted?!
"Stop crying!" he snapped. "It won't help."
Then his heart sank when he heard Hotaru gasp, it seemed to him, in shock and fright. He saw her bite her lip and look away, her face white. Damn, he thought, angry with himself no end. What've you done now Yaten? Control yourself!
By now, they were in the castle courtyard, as silent as a tomb, and just an occasional firefly glinting here and there. There was silence between them.
He let out his breath and asked, "Why are you crying?"
"I—I'm not crying," Hotaru said thickly.
"Yes you are!" Yaten exclaimed before he could stop himself.
It was at this when Hotaru lost her wits. She dropped the packages with a crash into the courtyard lawn. "Why are you yelling at me?" she cried.
"I'm not yelling!" Yaten shot back, then realizing he was.
"You just did it again!" Hotaru yelled in Yaten's surprise. She'd never burst out before, so he decided that he must've made her crack, with all the tension that had built up. There was silence for a moment, Hotaru taking deep breaths.
She burst into tears and exploded. "All right then! I'm crying! Want to know why? Because I did something wrong again! I disobeyed an unwritten rule among us Outers! I went with you to town—I got along with you when I shouldn't be—But I did! And I wanted to! And I did it because…" she choked then cried, "Because I liked you! You hear? I liked you! But now I see that it's hopeless if I'm going to like someone who changes attitude like a monster!"
She caught her breath, as if remembering something or had said something wrong. Yaten stared at her, his heart burning in pain and shock. He didn't know what to do. No one ever talked to him like that before.
Then Hotaru burst into a flood of tears again and fled through the open doors of the palace and vanished in the shadows.
"Hotaru!!" Yaten cried out, though he knew that it was pointless. He felt utterly wretched as soon as the shock passed and everything sank in. He'd lost connection to her again. In the town, it was like they had a link to each other's heart, but now it was gone again.
Then he heard someone calling. "Yaten! Yaten!!"
At first, he though it was Hotaru, calling out to him, and his heart leapt, but he realized it was someone else's voice—it was a male.
With massive effort, he pulled himself back to reality, and turned to look just in time to see Seiya and Kakyuu reach him. He didn't know what a pale and miserable look there was in his face when he looked at them, but it made them shocked.
"Yaten!" exclaimed Seiya. "What's the matter? We heard such a row a moment ago!"
"There's something horrible in your face," said Kakyuu worriedly. "What happened? Where's Hotaru?"
Yaten shrugged depressedly. He motioned to the darkened entrance hall. "She's…somewhere…" he muttered, his lips barely moving.
The other two just stared at him in shock. He sighed again, and Kakyuu's eyes widened when she noticed something Seiya didn't—Yaten's eyes were filling with tears.
He knew that she'd noticed, so maybe that was the reason why he suddenly looked away. He said somewhat indistinctly, "I…I think I'm just going to go inside."
He took a few steps to the doors but then Seiya held his shoulder. "Yaten…are you all right?" he asked.
Yaten felt rage rise up within him. If Seiya was as stupid as that, then he'd better get away from him quickly. He whirled around to face him with such a look in his face and tears in his eyes that Seiya took a step back as Yaten yelled, "What do you think?! Do you think that I'm all right?!"
He began storming up the path.
"Yaten, wait!" Kakyuu cried. "What about Hotaru's—things?"
The mere mention of her name made Yaten's blood burn with hurt. But he was too mad at himself to see any sense. So he yelled, "Toss them in the lake then!!"
And he vanished into the shadows of the hall without another word. Kakyuu and Seiya were left standing in the courtyard, completely dumbfounded.
"I'm afraid to say it, Kakyuu," said Seiya after a moment, "but that is more like the Yaten that I know."
"How can you be so heartless?" asked Kakyuu fervently. "Can't you see that he's in tears?"
"But Yaten's like that, isn't he?!" Seiya argued. "He's unpredictable! He explodes suddenly like a walking time-bomb."
"But…he has a reason now," said Kakyuu quietly.
Seiya nodded slowly. "Yeah. Hotaru."
They both sensed someone looking at them, and looked up. There they saw, from her window, it was Queen Kakyoku. She looked as sorrowful as the other two felt. She shook her head.
There was nothing they could do.
It was all up to Yaten, of course. He didn't know what he'd been doing, yelling at her like that. It just hurt him so to see her crying, and when he got hurt, he responded in a very insensitive way. And the one who got hit by the blow was Hotaru. The last person he'd want it to hit. He was such an idiot.
He hated himself for it. He was so angry by what he'd done. And when he was angry, he tossed things around. So by the time Kakyuu knocked at his door, his room was quite in shambles. He didn't intend to reply to her knock, but he remembered that he didn't lock the door.
Kakyuu came in and gasped. "Yaten! What have you done?"
Yaten was sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands clasped together and against his forehead. He looked up at her with big green eyes wet with tears, and that was all the reply he could give.
Princess Kakyuu's heart melted. "Oh Yaten…" She shut the door, locked it, and turned on the lights. She moved towards him and sat beside him. "Yaten, tell me what's wrong."
Yaten took in a breath, broken with a sob, and said, "…I don't know, Kakyuu- hime."
He could tell Kakyuu was surprised. He didn't often cry, and never in front of her, but now seemed like a good time. She said, "Maybe I could help."
"How can you help?" Yaten asked miserably. "I ruined it all."
"I can try," insisted Kakyuu. "Please tell me."
"Whether I shall tell you or not depends on your answer to this question." Yaten looked up and stared at her. "Do you hate the Outers?"
Kakyuu was puzzled by the question—it was not something Yaten would ask because she thought Yaten hated the Outers as well—but thought about her answer. "No-o, I don't think so… I'm am a little wary of them. Is that good enough?"
"I suppose," said Yaten in a whisper. And he told Kakyuu everything.
"And now…and now I was a bally idiot for yelling at her so… And now I know that she'll never talk to me again…" He bit his lip and looked away.
There was silence in the room. Kakyuu asked, "Yaten…are you…" her voice trailed off.
"What?" asked Yaten, looking at her. "Am I what?"
"Are you…in love? With Hotaru?"
The question caught Yaten off guard so badly that he felt that Kakyuu had shocked the life out of him, and he looked it too. He toppled off the bed in dumbfoundment.
Kakyuu stifled a giggle. "Sorry. I was just wondering."
Yaten got up and sat back on the bed. He took a moment to think it over. It was more true than not in a sense. Maybe. So he sighed and said, "I'm—I'm not sure, Kakyuu."
Kakyuu looked at him, for she didn't expect such a serious answer. He said, "I don't know if I am or what… I just…" He sighed. "When I saw her dancing at the plaza…I didn't know if I was staring because I was happy, or maybe because it was something else. I felt like that whenever she smiled. Like I wasn't sure if I was happy because she was smiling, or I was happy because she was smiling at me. And then at the courtyard, when she told me that she liked me in all that anger… I thought that…that I'd fly into a million pieces."
"And you get angry everytime she cries…" said Kakyuu, nodding.
"Not at her, but at what makes her cry," confirmed Yaten. "And now…that's me."
Kakyuu sighed, "Oh Yaten. Seems to me that you're still confused about that part, so try not to think about that for now. What you should think about is how to patch things up. I'm sure she didn't mean to shout. She was just frightened. You said so yourself: you've frightened her. If you're frightened, you do things you don't normally do. I'm sure she just needs a little time to take in everything that's happened. You two are going too fast."
"I suppose…" said Yaten quietly. "But Kakyuu…she'll never talk to me again, I told you what happened."
Kakyuu rapped him upside his head.
"Ow!" he yelled. "What was that for?"
"For being stupid," said Kakyuu simply. "You're like Seiya. If I get into a huff with him, he mopes like it was the end of the world and that I'll never speak to him again. But where are we now?"
"Kakyuu-hime, please," Yaten pleaded with a shudder, "I've had enough horrors for one day without you comparing me to Seiya."
"Very funny," Kakyuu smirked at him. But then she grew serious. "Look, my point is, she's not that angry. In fact, I think she's just upset. If you really care about her, you ought to clear things up with her. Apologize."
"How?" Yaten asked.
"Do you want me to hit you again?" said Kakyuu raising an eyebrow. "Just talk to her! Privately if you will, because I daresay that the other Outers will scalp you if they ever found you with her."
"What a comforting thought," Yaten made a face at her. But he sighed. "All right, I'll try."
"That's the stuff," ssaid Kakyuu with a smile and standing up. "Now try and fix yourself. It's time for dinner. Taiki will ask questions if you go out like that, and that's guaranteed to lead to trouble."
Yaten nodded and went to the bathroom to wash his face and comb his hair. He came out later looking as normal as he's always been. Kakyuu nodded. "Come on then."
But as soon as they stepped out the door, they came across something interesting. "Well well, Yaten," said Kakyuu. "It appears you'll have your chance to talk to her sooner than you think."
"Huh?" Yaten looked with her, and saw Setsuna Meiou all alone, knocking at Hotaru's door.
~~*~~
"Hotaru?" the call was followed by knocking. "Hotaru, come on. It's time for dinner."
Hotaru lifted her face from the pillow just long enough to register Setsuna's voice outside her door. She shoved her face into the pillow again, determined on not going anywhere tonight. She felt too wretched and miserable by what happened earlier that evening. She'd been giving it a great deal of thought, and it only made her feel even more miserable.
She saw the two yellow roses in the vase at her bedside. She resisted the urge to knock them off the table. Seeing them made her feel so awful.
"Hotaru," Setsuna's voice had a hint of impatience. "Come on out. We don't have all night."
"I'm not coming out!" she said fervently through her pillow, with her not thinking straight and her voice broken with sobs. "You'll have to drag me out."
There was silence for a moment outside the door.
"Hotaru…" said Setsuna slowly, "…is something the matter?"
You'd know that, won't you? she thought to herself, but said, "Not at all." But her words came out cold and broken by sobs. It was the worst-kept lie in the whole world it seemed.
There was silence again outside her door. It was silent for so long that Hotaru thought that Setsuna had left. She groaned and began to get out of bed; the last thing she wanted now was to have Setsuna upset with her too.
"Hotaru? May I come in? Please?"
Hotaru froze, her heart pounding hard in her chest. The voice outside was new, and it definitely wasn't Setsuna's. It wasn't any of the other Outers', either. But she knew that voice.
"It—it's me, Yaten."
Like I don't know already… Hotaru thought not unkindly. She felt torn between horror and nervousness. Yaten was outside her door right this minute and waiting for an answer. "Uh…I…um…" she stammered.
"Hotaru, I really need to talk to you," he said.
Her heart leapt. Whatever was going on, she wasn't prepared for it the least bit. She glanced at the mirror. Her tear-stained face was obvious, even in the darkness, and she tried to wipe the tears that suddenly began flowing again the moment she heard Yaten's voice. She ran a hand nervously through her hair. The dress, crumpled, could not be helped.
"Hotaru, please…" he begged.
The last thing Hotaru wanted was for him to beg when it was she who was at fault. But she couldn't find the words. What was she going to say? Come in? With her in this state? Perhaps she was still a little upset. But she dearly wanted to see him, and ask if he was upset with her. Since he was at her door now, well, he couldn't be too upset, could he?
"Well…I…I don't think you should…"
Silence fell. Perhaps Yaten could tell that she was stunned by his arrival so it was the reason why she doesn't reply. And maybe that's why he said the bottom line.
"Hotaru…I—I'm sorry… please forgive me."
Hotaru was so geniunely stunned, that her power actually unlocked the door with her standing seven feet away from it. Then she felt frightened, for she knew not what was going to happen next.
Slowly, the door opened, and she saw the tall slender figure of Yaten Kou slip in through her door. He carefully shut the door, then looked towards her. His eyes widened, and she saw (much to her shame) such suffering and sorrow in his eyes. She was shamed not because it the suffering was for him, but rather, he was suffering to see her like this. She bit her lip and looked away, unable to bear the look on his face.
"No, Hotaru…" he whispered, going to her quickly. He gently turned her face towards him, "Don't look away. Please listen to me. It—it's my fault. I just get so angry sometimes…I can't control myself."
Hotaru stared at him, unable to catch on what he was trying to say. He then said, "I—I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at me. Because I made you cry and look sad. Something that I've been trying to work against all afternoon. But it was all shattered when Kakyuu and Seiya found us. I'm so sorry for making you cry, Hotaru—I've been such a jerk. Please forgive me. I—I can't bear it if you ever got mad at me now."
Then Hotaru burst into tears into his arms. He pulled her close to him in a comforting embrace, and she sobbed, "Yaten…I thought—I thought you were angry at me again… And I didn't want that. And I'm sorry for what I said… about your sudden moods. You're not a monster all all. Rather…I am…"
"What?" Yaten looked down at the raven head in his chest. "What do you mean?"
"It was like that so long ago in school…" Hotaru whispered. "I would…I would hurt one of my classmates, then I would come to my senses and try to help, but they were all afraid and angry at me. They told me that…that I was a monster. A—a freak!" Then she choked through a fresh wave of tears, "And—I thought how horrible and how insensitive I was for telling you such a thing…making you feel what I didn't want to feel…"
"Shh…Hotaru…" Yaten whispered, trying to calm her. "It's all right…what happened before is all gone. It's different now, remember? Now please…" he lifted her face to look at him, "please say you've forgiven me for what I've done…"
"But Yaten…there is nothing to forgive," she whispered, tears misting her deep dark eyes. "Rather, would you forgive me?"
"Hotaru…" Yaten said into her dark hair. "If I thought you had the fault, would I have apologized in the first place?"
Hotaru allowed herself a laugh and looked up at him, her dark eyes big and glowing with relief and delight.
Yaten smiled and pulled her close to him again, and they stood like that, embracing each other, for a good ten minutes or so, which was probably the reason as to why Setsuna and Kakyuu entered the door. Apparently, they had only been waiting outside.
Setsuna knew, Hotaru could tell by the smile on her face, what was going on, and she just wasn't going to say what was going to happen next. Kakyuu didn't even look shocked to see them, so Hotaru guessed that Yaten must have told her something.
Setsuna cleared her throat, and they looked at her. She said, "Princes Seiya and Taiki are getting worried in the dining room. So are Princesses Haruka and Michiru. If we don't leave now, I suppose they'll come up here wondering what is up, ne?"
The two looked at each other and smiled with a nod. Then, they all left the room and went down for dinner.
Chapter Six:
The Quarrel
The sun was setting, and dark was beginning to fall all over Kinmoku. The trip back to the palace was a relatively silent one between Yaten and Hotaru, for they had been caught. Not exactly caught, but…they sill felt like they'd done something illegal. And it brought back thoughts of reasons as to why they should not be together.
Hotaru stared at her hands, and touched the yellow rose on her sash. She felt her eyes fill up with tears. She didn't now why, but she just felt like that she had done something horrible again, and she felt frightened.
"What's the matter?" asked Yaten suddenly in the same frosty voice he'd used when they met at the fountain.
Hotaru then realized how frightened she was of that tone of his voice. It made her blood run cold, like it wasn't the same friendly Yaten who brought her through town and danced with her. She just shook her head, but it was too late: a tear fell and hit the rose.
Yaten suddenly felt so annoyed. She was crying again. So what were his efforts to making her happy all afternoon? Wasted?!
"Stop crying!" he snapped. "It won't help."
Then his heart sank when he heard Hotaru gasp, it seemed to him, in shock and fright. He saw her bite her lip and look away, her face white. Damn, he thought, angry with himself no end. What've you done now Yaten? Control yourself!
By now, they were in the castle courtyard, as silent as a tomb, and just an occasional firefly glinting here and there. There was silence between them.
He let out his breath and asked, "Why are you crying?"
"I—I'm not crying," Hotaru said thickly.
"Yes you are!" Yaten exclaimed before he could stop himself.
It was at this when Hotaru lost her wits. She dropped the packages with a crash into the courtyard lawn. "Why are you yelling at me?" she cried.
"I'm not yelling!" Yaten shot back, then realizing he was.
"You just did it again!" Hotaru yelled in Yaten's surprise. She'd never burst out before, so he decided that he must've made her crack, with all the tension that had built up. There was silence for a moment, Hotaru taking deep breaths.
She burst into tears and exploded. "All right then! I'm crying! Want to know why? Because I did something wrong again! I disobeyed an unwritten rule among us Outers! I went with you to town—I got along with you when I shouldn't be—But I did! And I wanted to! And I did it because…" she choked then cried, "Because I liked you! You hear? I liked you! But now I see that it's hopeless if I'm going to like someone who changes attitude like a monster!"
She caught her breath, as if remembering something or had said something wrong. Yaten stared at her, his heart burning in pain and shock. He didn't know what to do. No one ever talked to him like that before.
Then Hotaru burst into a flood of tears again and fled through the open doors of the palace and vanished in the shadows.
"Hotaru!!" Yaten cried out, though he knew that it was pointless. He felt utterly wretched as soon as the shock passed and everything sank in. He'd lost connection to her again. In the town, it was like they had a link to each other's heart, but now it was gone again.
Then he heard someone calling. "Yaten! Yaten!!"
At first, he though it was Hotaru, calling out to him, and his heart leapt, but he realized it was someone else's voice—it was a male.
With massive effort, he pulled himself back to reality, and turned to look just in time to see Seiya and Kakyuu reach him. He didn't know what a pale and miserable look there was in his face when he looked at them, but it made them shocked.
"Yaten!" exclaimed Seiya. "What's the matter? We heard such a row a moment ago!"
"There's something horrible in your face," said Kakyuu worriedly. "What happened? Where's Hotaru?"
Yaten shrugged depressedly. He motioned to the darkened entrance hall. "She's…somewhere…" he muttered, his lips barely moving.
The other two just stared at him in shock. He sighed again, and Kakyuu's eyes widened when she noticed something Seiya didn't—Yaten's eyes were filling with tears.
He knew that she'd noticed, so maybe that was the reason why he suddenly looked away. He said somewhat indistinctly, "I…I think I'm just going to go inside."
He took a few steps to the doors but then Seiya held his shoulder. "Yaten…are you all right?" he asked.
Yaten felt rage rise up within him. If Seiya was as stupid as that, then he'd better get away from him quickly. He whirled around to face him with such a look in his face and tears in his eyes that Seiya took a step back as Yaten yelled, "What do you think?! Do you think that I'm all right?!"
He began storming up the path.
"Yaten, wait!" Kakyuu cried. "What about Hotaru's—things?"
The mere mention of her name made Yaten's blood burn with hurt. But he was too mad at himself to see any sense. So he yelled, "Toss them in the lake then!!"
And he vanished into the shadows of the hall without another word. Kakyuu and Seiya were left standing in the courtyard, completely dumbfounded.
"I'm afraid to say it, Kakyuu," said Seiya after a moment, "but that is more like the Yaten that I know."
"How can you be so heartless?" asked Kakyuu fervently. "Can't you see that he's in tears?"
"But Yaten's like that, isn't he?!" Seiya argued. "He's unpredictable! He explodes suddenly like a walking time-bomb."
"But…he has a reason now," said Kakyuu quietly.
Seiya nodded slowly. "Yeah. Hotaru."
They both sensed someone looking at them, and looked up. There they saw, from her window, it was Queen Kakyoku. She looked as sorrowful as the other two felt. She shook her head.
There was nothing they could do.
It was all up to Yaten, of course. He didn't know what he'd been doing, yelling at her like that. It just hurt him so to see her crying, and when he got hurt, he responded in a very insensitive way. And the one who got hit by the blow was Hotaru. The last person he'd want it to hit. He was such an idiot.
He hated himself for it. He was so angry by what he'd done. And when he was angry, he tossed things around. So by the time Kakyuu knocked at his door, his room was quite in shambles. He didn't intend to reply to her knock, but he remembered that he didn't lock the door.
Kakyuu came in and gasped. "Yaten! What have you done?"
Yaten was sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands clasped together and against his forehead. He looked up at her with big green eyes wet with tears, and that was all the reply he could give.
Princess Kakyuu's heart melted. "Oh Yaten…" She shut the door, locked it, and turned on the lights. She moved towards him and sat beside him. "Yaten, tell me what's wrong."
Yaten took in a breath, broken with a sob, and said, "…I don't know, Kakyuu- hime."
He could tell Kakyuu was surprised. He didn't often cry, and never in front of her, but now seemed like a good time. She said, "Maybe I could help."
"How can you help?" Yaten asked miserably. "I ruined it all."
"I can try," insisted Kakyuu. "Please tell me."
"Whether I shall tell you or not depends on your answer to this question." Yaten looked up and stared at her. "Do you hate the Outers?"
Kakyuu was puzzled by the question—it was not something Yaten would ask because she thought Yaten hated the Outers as well—but thought about her answer. "No-o, I don't think so… I'm am a little wary of them. Is that good enough?"
"I suppose," said Yaten in a whisper. And he told Kakyuu everything.
"And now…and now I was a bally idiot for yelling at her so… And now I know that she'll never talk to me again…" He bit his lip and looked away.
There was silence in the room. Kakyuu asked, "Yaten…are you…" her voice trailed off.
"What?" asked Yaten, looking at her. "Am I what?"
"Are you…in love? With Hotaru?"
The question caught Yaten off guard so badly that he felt that Kakyuu had shocked the life out of him, and he looked it too. He toppled off the bed in dumbfoundment.
Kakyuu stifled a giggle. "Sorry. I was just wondering."
Yaten got up and sat back on the bed. He took a moment to think it over. It was more true than not in a sense. Maybe. So he sighed and said, "I'm—I'm not sure, Kakyuu."
Kakyuu looked at him, for she didn't expect such a serious answer. He said, "I don't know if I am or what… I just…" He sighed. "When I saw her dancing at the plaza…I didn't know if I was staring because I was happy, or maybe because it was something else. I felt like that whenever she smiled. Like I wasn't sure if I was happy because she was smiling, or I was happy because she was smiling at me. And then at the courtyard, when she told me that she liked me in all that anger… I thought that…that I'd fly into a million pieces."
"And you get angry everytime she cries…" said Kakyuu, nodding.
"Not at her, but at what makes her cry," confirmed Yaten. "And now…that's me."
Kakyuu sighed, "Oh Yaten. Seems to me that you're still confused about that part, so try not to think about that for now. What you should think about is how to patch things up. I'm sure she didn't mean to shout. She was just frightened. You said so yourself: you've frightened her. If you're frightened, you do things you don't normally do. I'm sure she just needs a little time to take in everything that's happened. You two are going too fast."
"I suppose…" said Yaten quietly. "But Kakyuu…she'll never talk to me again, I told you what happened."
Kakyuu rapped him upside his head.
"Ow!" he yelled. "What was that for?"
"For being stupid," said Kakyuu simply. "You're like Seiya. If I get into a huff with him, he mopes like it was the end of the world and that I'll never speak to him again. But where are we now?"
"Kakyuu-hime, please," Yaten pleaded with a shudder, "I've had enough horrors for one day without you comparing me to Seiya."
"Very funny," Kakyuu smirked at him. But then she grew serious. "Look, my point is, she's not that angry. In fact, I think she's just upset. If you really care about her, you ought to clear things up with her. Apologize."
"How?" Yaten asked.
"Do you want me to hit you again?" said Kakyuu raising an eyebrow. "Just talk to her! Privately if you will, because I daresay that the other Outers will scalp you if they ever found you with her."
"What a comforting thought," Yaten made a face at her. But he sighed. "All right, I'll try."
"That's the stuff," ssaid Kakyuu with a smile and standing up. "Now try and fix yourself. It's time for dinner. Taiki will ask questions if you go out like that, and that's guaranteed to lead to trouble."
Yaten nodded and went to the bathroom to wash his face and comb his hair. He came out later looking as normal as he's always been. Kakyuu nodded. "Come on then."
But as soon as they stepped out the door, they came across something interesting. "Well well, Yaten," said Kakyuu. "It appears you'll have your chance to talk to her sooner than you think."
"Huh?" Yaten looked with her, and saw Setsuna Meiou all alone, knocking at Hotaru's door.
~~*~~
"Hotaru?" the call was followed by knocking. "Hotaru, come on. It's time for dinner."
Hotaru lifted her face from the pillow just long enough to register Setsuna's voice outside her door. She shoved her face into the pillow again, determined on not going anywhere tonight. She felt too wretched and miserable by what happened earlier that evening. She'd been giving it a great deal of thought, and it only made her feel even more miserable.
She saw the two yellow roses in the vase at her bedside. She resisted the urge to knock them off the table. Seeing them made her feel so awful.
"Hotaru," Setsuna's voice had a hint of impatience. "Come on out. We don't have all night."
"I'm not coming out!" she said fervently through her pillow, with her not thinking straight and her voice broken with sobs. "You'll have to drag me out."
There was silence for a moment outside the door.
"Hotaru…" said Setsuna slowly, "…is something the matter?"
You'd know that, won't you? she thought to herself, but said, "Not at all." But her words came out cold and broken by sobs. It was the worst-kept lie in the whole world it seemed.
There was silence again outside her door. It was silent for so long that Hotaru thought that Setsuna had left. She groaned and began to get out of bed; the last thing she wanted now was to have Setsuna upset with her too.
"Hotaru? May I come in? Please?"
Hotaru froze, her heart pounding hard in her chest. The voice outside was new, and it definitely wasn't Setsuna's. It wasn't any of the other Outers', either. But she knew that voice.
"It—it's me, Yaten."
Like I don't know already… Hotaru thought not unkindly. She felt torn between horror and nervousness. Yaten was outside her door right this minute and waiting for an answer. "Uh…I…um…" she stammered.
"Hotaru, I really need to talk to you," he said.
Her heart leapt. Whatever was going on, she wasn't prepared for it the least bit. She glanced at the mirror. Her tear-stained face was obvious, even in the darkness, and she tried to wipe the tears that suddenly began flowing again the moment she heard Yaten's voice. She ran a hand nervously through her hair. The dress, crumpled, could not be helped.
"Hotaru, please…" he begged.
The last thing Hotaru wanted was for him to beg when it was she who was at fault. But she couldn't find the words. What was she going to say? Come in? With her in this state? Perhaps she was still a little upset. But she dearly wanted to see him, and ask if he was upset with her. Since he was at her door now, well, he couldn't be too upset, could he?
"Well…I…I don't think you should…"
Silence fell. Perhaps Yaten could tell that she was stunned by his arrival so it was the reason why she doesn't reply. And maybe that's why he said the bottom line.
"Hotaru…I—I'm sorry… please forgive me."
Hotaru was so geniunely stunned, that her power actually unlocked the door with her standing seven feet away from it. Then she felt frightened, for she knew not what was going to happen next.
Slowly, the door opened, and she saw the tall slender figure of Yaten Kou slip in through her door. He carefully shut the door, then looked towards her. His eyes widened, and she saw (much to her shame) such suffering and sorrow in his eyes. She was shamed not because it the suffering was for him, but rather, he was suffering to see her like this. She bit her lip and looked away, unable to bear the look on his face.
"No, Hotaru…" he whispered, going to her quickly. He gently turned her face towards him, "Don't look away. Please listen to me. It—it's my fault. I just get so angry sometimes…I can't control myself."
Hotaru stared at him, unable to catch on what he was trying to say. He then said, "I—I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at me. Because I made you cry and look sad. Something that I've been trying to work against all afternoon. But it was all shattered when Kakyuu and Seiya found us. I'm so sorry for making you cry, Hotaru—I've been such a jerk. Please forgive me. I—I can't bear it if you ever got mad at me now."
Then Hotaru burst into tears into his arms. He pulled her close to him in a comforting embrace, and she sobbed, "Yaten…I thought—I thought you were angry at me again… And I didn't want that. And I'm sorry for what I said… about your sudden moods. You're not a monster all all. Rather…I am…"
"What?" Yaten looked down at the raven head in his chest. "What do you mean?"
"It was like that so long ago in school…" Hotaru whispered. "I would…I would hurt one of my classmates, then I would come to my senses and try to help, but they were all afraid and angry at me. They told me that…that I was a monster. A—a freak!" Then she choked through a fresh wave of tears, "And—I thought how horrible and how insensitive I was for telling you such a thing…making you feel what I didn't want to feel…"
"Shh…Hotaru…" Yaten whispered, trying to calm her. "It's all right…what happened before is all gone. It's different now, remember? Now please…" he lifted her face to look at him, "please say you've forgiven me for what I've done…"
"But Yaten…there is nothing to forgive," she whispered, tears misting her deep dark eyes. "Rather, would you forgive me?"
"Hotaru…" Yaten said into her dark hair. "If I thought you had the fault, would I have apologized in the first place?"
Hotaru allowed herself a laugh and looked up at him, her dark eyes big and glowing with relief and delight.
Yaten smiled and pulled her close to him again, and they stood like that, embracing each other, for a good ten minutes or so, which was probably the reason as to why Setsuna and Kakyuu entered the door. Apparently, they had only been waiting outside.
Setsuna knew, Hotaru could tell by the smile on her face, what was going on, and she just wasn't going to say what was going to happen next. Kakyuu didn't even look shocked to see them, so Hotaru guessed that Yaten must have told her something.
Setsuna cleared her throat, and they looked at her. She said, "Princes Seiya and Taiki are getting worried in the dining room. So are Princesses Haruka and Michiru. If we don't leave now, I suppose they'll come up here wondering what is up, ne?"
The two looked at each other and smiled with a nod. Then, they all left the room and went down for dinner.
