Kaeru: Come Back

I watch you fall. I watch in horror as your body falls to the ground. And I run to you. You, the one who plagues me to no end. You told me that I was the one, the one you would die for. I thought you were brash, irrational, incapable of being serious. I denied you, brushed away all of your comments, ignored your feelings. You had no reason to pick me. Billions of people in the world, millions in Tokyo alone. Why me? All your talk of choosing to die for me seemed childish, surreal. Like it didn't really mean that much, yet it was the world to you, wasn't it? It still is. The prophesy to come true. Couldn't you have chosen not to fall in love? If you had, I wouldn't be kneeling next to this battered body of yours. You touch my face, leaving a damp residue behind. Blood. Your blood. You smile, and I take your hand in mine. It's bigger and stronger, but you're always so gentle, so carefree.

"Sorata..."

My voice comes out no louder than a whisper. I look at you as you smile, your body bruised and bleeding, and my eyes begin to tear up. I never wished for this to happen to you. You don't deserve this. A moment passes, and you speak. You ask me not to cry, if I love you. If I love you. Words I've never said, not even once when you've said them to me a hundred times. Have I been so cold? I nod and dry my eyes. Words I've never said. But ones I've always wanted to use. I touch your cheek, the youthful face now smeared with red.

"Sorata..."

I look at you sadly, but then it occurs to me that there is something you'd rather have than my saddness.

My heart.

I smile at you as much as I can muster because until now I never realized that you always had it. I never could push you away from me completely, and now the only thing I want is to be closer to you. I lay my head down on your chest so I can hear your heartbeat. It's faint, and there are words I still need to say to you.

"There's something... I've always wanted to tell you..."

You smile that smile of yours that I've always tried to resist.

"Tell me."

Your voice is so weak. Hold on, Sorata.

"Sorata, I..."

I don't know how to say it. There's so much I want to say, but your eyes are closing.

"Sorata?"

Your heartbeat is faint, so faint. For a moment, I can't hear it and I fear that I've lost my chance.

"Sorata!"

I feel your chest rise ragged, and I know what I must say.

"Sorata-kun," I begin, a name I've longed to call you but never dared. "I love you more than anything," I continue, and squeeze your hand. I don't feel you squeeze back, and I begin to panic. "Don't leave me..." I hope with all my being that you can hear me. "Not yet...!"

Sorata-kun, please don't leave me now, not now when I realize how much I love you. In a faint, almost inaudible voice you say ai shiteru - I love you. My breath hitches, and suddenly you hug me. I am surprised for a brief moment, and then I hug you back, I hold you to me, I clutch you desperately. I won't cry, because you asked me to, but I call your name.

"Sorata!"

No answer. I call again and smooth your blood soaked hair away from your forehead. I kiss you in that spot. And I pray for you to open your eyes. Come back to me, Sorata-kun.

Please, come back.