Vengeful Nightmares
Chapter 9
"What's wrong?"
"You feel all right?" she asked, kneeling down beside him. She noticed that his cheeks were stained a dark red. He was actually perspiring. She felt his forehead. It was hot. On a hunch, she touched his forearm, where his dream phantom had wounded him, and he cried out in pain.
"What'd you pinch me for?" he demanded, his eyes filling with hurt anger.
"I didn't pinch you." she said slowly. "Let me see your arm."
Hoggle took a step back, thinking that she really had pinched him, hard, and wondering what had come over her. "Why'd you do that to me?" He looked like a puppy that had just been kicked for no reason. Sarah felt an almost physical pain at the fact that this look was directed at her.
"Hoggle, please. I really didn't pinch you. I swear. Touch your arm, and see for yourself."
Hoggle shifted from one foot to the other, and did what he was asked. He gagged, stifling a curse. Looking up at Sarah with renewed trust, he walked forward and extended his arm. "Sorry…I thought…"
"I know. Hold on…" She carefully unwound the bandage, and both she and Hoggle set eyes on just about the worst looking infection they had ever seen. Hoggle began to gasp, and his eyes rolled back as he fell forward on Sarah's shoulder in a faint. Sarah held him there, not wanting to lay him out in the snow, and racked her brain for some idea of what to do. Presently, Hoggle came to, shaking in reaction to his faint.
"You'll be okay." Sarah told him, "I'll help you. You'll be fine."
Hoggle nodded tiredly, and let Sarah rewrap his arm. He didn't feel fine. He was exhausted, and his head and arm hurt him terribly. Even so, there was nothing to be done. He would have to bear it until they found a place to rest. They would be coming to a town soon, and he comforted himself with the thought. Just a few more miles.
They had been walking for hours, and twilight seemed to be right on their heels. They were walking more slowly now, and Sarah had to stop once for Hoggle when his nausea finally got the better of him.
She watched him like a hawk now, ready to catch him if he stumbled or fainted. It was a miserable afternoon. Hoggle didn't complain, but Sarah could see that he was in pain. Jareth did this. Jareth did this!
Hoggle shouldn't be out walking in the snow! He should be in his own bed, sleeping this off…but he can't sleep, not in peace…
Finally, when the sun was dipping below the western horizon, Hoggle fell to his knees and clutched his head. He whimpered quietly, rocking back and forth. "No, no more! Please…"
"Hoggle!" Sarah held his shoulders, and tried to get him to stand. "Please, get up. It's just a little further, you said so yourself. Please, Hoggle, I know it hurts, but you have to try."
The dwarf looked up at Sarah through bloodshot, streaming eyes, and quavered, "Who…who are you? I…"
Sarah carefully put her hands on his face, and asked, "Don't you know me? Hoggle…"
"I…I…I…" Hoggle seemed to be trying very hard to think, but the effort proved to be too much for him. Just before he lost consciousness, she heard him whisper, "Pop, no…"
Sarah looked wildly around, as close to panic as she ever got without actually being there. She had to get Hoggle to a place where he could rest and be warm. She wiped the tears from his face as best she could, but they had already begun to freeze. She lifted him carefully, noting that just when she was wishing she could keep him warmer her cloak closed over him of its own volition. She didn't question it. She hurried in the direction of the town. Hoggle hadn't even given it a name, and it was too late to ask him. He was out cold, and gave every indication of planning on staying that way. She couldn't run; he was too heavy. Small as he was, he was still almost two thirds her size.
Was that a light up ahead? Yes! Yes, she could see the limits. It was getting dark, so just about every house was lit like a Christmas tree. The closest light came from a lantern, which was held in the hand of what Sarah took at first to be a human. As she drew closer, she saw that she was mistaken. The creature was huge; though it was only about six and a half feet tall, it was broad and muscular. It had a shaggy coat, and two horns on its head.
"Ludo!" Sarah cried joyously, but as she drew closer she saw that she was wrong again. He was the same type of creature as Ludo, but his fur was blond. He tilted his head in confusion.
"No Ludo…Jarjuk." He corrected her gently.
"I'm sorry. I mistook you for a friend of mine. He looks a lot like you."
The monster frowned, and stepped back. "You not friend?"
"Oh, no, I didn't mean that. I'm a friend, and my name's Sarah. But my friend Hoggle is very sick, and I need to get him warm. Please, can you help us?"
The creature seemed slightly confused, but accepted her friendship. "Who Hoggle? Friend…sick?" Jarjuk asked, approaching Sarah, who let him look at the dwarf. Jarjuck's fearsome features crinkled with sympathy, and he beckoned for Sarah to follow him.
"You'll be okay, Hoggle." Sarah whispered as she followed Jarjuk into the small town, and a different monster with blue fur took his place. On passing that other monster, Jarjuk rubbed up against its arm and purred greeting. The blue-furred monster responded with a higher-pitched purr of its own, and sat down with the lantern.
"Who was that?" asked Sarah quietly.
"Mina…Jarjuk love." He replied shyly.
"Oh, she's your wife? Or mate?"
"Mother…Jarjuk's son." He proudly stated as he smiled back at his female. So, that probably meant that she was his mate, not his wife. Not that it mattered to him; she was his love.
"Oh, that's nice." She said sincerely, though somewhat distractedly. Where were they going?
She got her answer as Jarjuk opened the door to a large dwelling that was more like a barn than a house. "Come." He purred, and she soon saw why he was being so quiet. Reclining on a pile of straw was a smallish bundle of blue-green fur that looked like a miniature version of his parents. This, she thought, must be Jarjuk's son.
Soon she saw that this wasn't just Jarjuk's house. This was an inn of sorts, save for the fact that Jarjuk didn't ask for payment.
"In…here." The monster told Sarah, opening one of the doors. Sarah edged her way past him, and laid Hoggle down on the mattress that was little more than a blanket on a haystack.
"Thank you, Jarjuk. I…I don't know what to do." She wrapped her cloak about him, and removed his skull cap and boots. His white hair, free of its bonds, stuck up every which way, making him look vaguely like a turnip. "Some bad cuts on his arm got infected, and now he has a fever, and…" she broke off, not trusting her own voice. "I'm sorry. I'm just rambling, I don't mean to be rude. You've been very kind, thank you."
Jarjuk shook his head. "No sorry. Friend…sick. You scared. Jarjuk help." He left a puzzled Sarah, and came back after a time with something in his hand. "Good med'cine. Good…stop fever. Give when wake. Want food…call."
"Thank you." she said again, and she was left alone with Hoggle. She looked at what Jarjuk had given her. It was a small vial of some sort of greenish liquid, and the cork was stuck in place with wax. "Wish me luck getting him to drink it." She said aloud to no one. She looked down at Hoggle, who was still flushed with fever and shivering with cold sweat.
Later that night, Jarjuk's mate Mina brought up some bread and ham for Sarah and a nice chicken broth for Hoggle. "Thank you, Mina." She said as the female monster sat down nearby to nurse her baby, who had been hanging out of sight on his mother's back. Sarah ate her food, mostly out of politeness, but she had no appetite for it. Hoggle half-awakened long enough to take some of the broth, but he still didn't seem to recognize Sarah. He slept again, and Sarah could see his nightmares hanging over him like a shroud. She shooed them away when they came, but then they merely tormented him from within. The second time he opened his eyes, Sarah gave him the medicine, which he took without objection before going back to sleep. Sometimes he would yell out in fear, and sometimes he would cry while Sarah held him like a child until the storms passed. Eventually, however, he fell into a deep and tranquil sleep. The medicine was working, and the nightmares, amplified by the fever, finally left him alone.
Mina stretched languidly, and murmured, "You sleep…too. Get sick like friend…if no sleep."
Sarah smiled gratefully, and accepted the female monster's compassionate hug. "I will. Thank you, Mina. Thank you so much."
Mina tousled Sarah's hair gently, and left them in peace. Sarah curled up on a nearby pile of straw, and closed her eyes. You had no right to do this, Jareth. You could have killed him.
Hours later, when it was almost six in the morning, Hoggle sat up quickly with a small shout. Sarah was jolted awake, and saw Hoggle sitting with his head in his hands and panting like he had been running. "Hoggle!" She knelt down beside him, and put her hands on his back and left shoulder. He looked up, and she saw that his eyes were clear again. He was actually seeing her, not just the strange visions that had blotted her out. The delirium had passed, and he was almost himself again.
"I…it was just a…a dream." He whispered, sounding dazed. "I dreamed it all." He leaned into Sarah's hug, and shivered.
"What, Hoggle?" she asked gently, "What did you dream?"
He shook his head, and tears spilled over his lower eyelids. "I can't. I don' even knows…" his chest hitched twice, and he put his head in his hands, weeping quietly.
"Shh…" Sarah stroked his white hair as she bit down on her own fear. Her fear could wait. "Hush, now. You don't have to say. Just hush…"
"No, it's…I don't…I…It wasn't just—a nightmare, it—it might have happened, an' I don' even know…I can't remember…" he gulped.
"Then don't try. Not yet. Wait till you can stand it. No use tormenting yourself over a dream." She hated how stupid her words sounded to her own ears, and how they must sound to his. If he had blotted out something that had happened long before, then it wasn't just a dream. Any fool could see that!
Hoggle didn't contradict her, though. He simply kept his face hidden against her shoulder until he felt a little braver, and then he sat back, jamming his palms into his eyes. "Been seein' some pretty weird things…How'd I get here? I don't remember…"
"I'm not surprised; you've been so sick, Hoggle. You passed out, but we were close to this place by then. I thought I saw Ludo, but it was someone else like him. Jarjuk. This is his home, and he gave me something for your fever." She touched his forehead, which was still way too warm, but less so. "Seems to have worked."
Hoggle shook his head, looking disturbed. "I don' remember a thing. I just remember leavin' the castle with a headache, then…" he shook his head again.
"You really gave me a scare, though. You looked right at me, and you didn't know me."
The dwarf frowned in denial. "I'd never forget my first friend, Sarah."
"But you did. Your fever was pretty high. If I had a thermometer I could say how high, but my guess would be about 105 degrees. I'm glad you're okay now, though…you are okay, aren't you?" she felt his forehead again, and he nodded dubiously. He was lying, and she knew it. It's that dream you had, isn't it? She thought. He was still afraid. The dream was still fresh in his mind, and whatever it had been must have been horrible; he was still crying on and off, but silently. Seeing how hard he was trying to hide it from her, Sarah chose not to call attention to it. "Do you want something to eat?" she asked.
Hoggle shook his head slowly. "I can't." After an hour had passed in silence, he asked, "Sarah?"
"Mm-hmm?"
"Why…why did you want to be my friend? I…I wasn't too nice to you in the beginning, and…Why?"
Sarah thought for a moment before responding. "Well…I guess it seemed that we both needed a friend. I didn't know what to make of you at first…you seemed so angry all the time. I don't know…sometimes, just for a minute, I could see past the front you put up, and that's the person I wanted to be friends with. And I saw how mean Jareth was to you, and I knew you didn't deserve that. I…I also heard what you said just after you gave me the drugged peach, 'damn you, Jareth, and damn me too.' I know you don't like me bringing that up, and I know how stupid it sounds, but thinking back…I know how much it hurt you to do that, and that's why I forgave you. That's why I wanted to be your friend."
"I wouldn't!" he said tearfully, turning away.
"Oh, Hoggle, no! I didn't mean it that way. It's over, forgotten." She tried to put her hands on his shoulders, but he shied away.
"N—not by me…How can you be friends with me after that! I b—betrayed you, damn me! I—I" he let Sarah gather him close, and sobbed. "Damn—me, d—damn…uh—ahuh…ohh…" His fever was climbing again. That's why he's doing this…
"Shhh…please, Hoggle, you're sick. Don't cry, you'll only make yourself sicker. I already forgave you, you don't need to cry. Shh…"
Even if it was his fever talking, she had thought he was over this. She knew that he had cried after giving her the peach; she had read the book again about a week after her first adventure, and she had seen the line drawing among the other changes in the story. She never knew that he still thought about it with such pain. Hearing him cry now was enough to break even Jareth's heart, or at least soften it.
"Oh, Sarah, I'm s—so sorry! I…"
"No, Hoggle, no. It's all right. You're forgiven, it's over. I forgave you. Forgive yourself. It wasn't your fault, none of it. Please…"
"Pop was r—right…I'm nuthin', I'm…I'll never b—be any—thin' but a c—coward! Such a cow—ard!"
"Don't say that! Stop it, you're not a coward. Didn't you jump on that big robot, and disable it? Didn't you save our lives that day? Didn't you save my life? A coward couldn't do that. I don't know much about your father, but he was wrong. He should have been proud of his son, instead of berating him." She rocked him as he burst into fresh waves of sorrow, the sobs seemingly torn raw and bleeding from the depths of his chest. This wasn't just about the peach. That was part of it, but it also concerned his father. His brain was like a stew pot; stir it up a little and add some heat, and things began to surface and appear, only to be replaced by other things; everything was random, yet everything had purpose. His fever was that heat, and it worried Sarah greatly.
The door opened silently, and Jarjuk appeared briefly with a fresh vial of medicine clasped in his fist. The monster put a finger to his lips, and set the vial on a small table near the door. Hoggle hadn't seen or heard him, and he tiptoed out of the room and shut the door again without a sound. If she hadn't been so occupied, Sarah would have marveled that such a big creature could be so quiet.
"It hurts—hurts so bad…" Hoggle whispered, his voice muffled by Sarah's shoulder.
"What hurts? Tell me what hurts, Hoggle." Sarah whispered back soothingly.
"What he did, he…"
"What?"
Hoggle was quiet for a moment, and when the answer came it was as if it was coming from the mouth of a frightened little boy. "I…I don' knows, but…I think he killed…he killed Mama."
Sarah's stomach turned into a block of ice as she continued to rock the sobbing dwarf. "Oh, Hoggle, that's…that's terrible." She said in a ghost of a whisper.
"He—he might not have…I told ya, I don't remem—ber…"
"Shhh…"
Sarah noticed something unexpected; her cheek had been resting on top of Hoggle's head, and when she lifted her head a few of his hairs stuck to her cheek, plastered there by her own tears. She was crying too. Unobtrusively, she wiped the tears away. It wouldn't do to let him see them. They would upset him again if he saw them after he had calmed down, and they would just make it worse if he saw them before.
If his fever was ever going to break, he needed that medicine. Sarah didn't want to leave him there like he was, but if he didn't calm down soon she would have no choice. Besides which, she was afraid he would cry too hard and make himself vomit. He was ill already, and this wasn't helping.
Sarah was soon relieved, though. Not long after she'd had that thought, he began to get quiet. By that time, her shoulder was soaked. Hoggle hugged himself, and shivered. "S'cold."
"Here." Sarah wrapped her cloak around him again, and gave him the blanket from her haystack.
"No, that's…"
"It's okay, I'm done with it. Can't sleep anymore."
He stopped protesting, and closed his eyes.
"Don't sleep yet, I have to give you something for that fever." She brought him the vial, and broke the seal. He peered up at her drowsily, and held out a hand for the vial. He drank it, grimacing slightly, and gave the vial back to Sarah.
She watched him get settled, and carefully put the cork back into the vial. Hoggle was watching her, his cheeks bright scarlet with fever. "I'm sorry I cried." he whispered finally.
"No." Sarah murmured, wiping away the fresh tears that had escaped his eyes. "No shame in crying if there's good reason. Just sleep, for now."
He obeyed her gentle command almost before she had finished giving it. His breath hitched occasionally, a remnant of his outburst, but he slept soundly.
Sarah had never seen anyone this sick before. She was glad Jarjuk had known what to do, because she hadn't. Hoggle might very well have died of that infection if she had not found Jarjuk. As she saw the fever fading from his face, she knew he would recover.
The sun was coming up, and in the morning light Sarah could see the dwarf's face taking on a more healthful color, neither the flush of fever, nor the pallor of death.
Sarah heard the door open, and Jarjuk walked in with a bowl of cornmeal mush and a bowl of broth. "Morning food." He purred, setting them down near Sarah. He sat on his haunches, and looked down at the dwarf with concern. "Friend cry…sad?"
Sarah nodded, "Yes. He had a bad dream. It scared him and made him sad."
Jarjuk purred sympathetically, "Son dream, too. Son…cry. Dreams…bad, try hurt son."
"Last night?" Sarah whispered.
Jarjuk shook his head. "Every."
"Oh…" Sarah put her hand on Hoggle's forehead. The fever was beginning to break again. Whatever that medicine was, it worked fast. "Thank you for helping us last night. I don't know what we would have done if you hadn't. He could have…He's my best friend, Jarjuk. If he died…" she bit her lip, not wanting to say it would all be her fault.
"No die…live. You…believe." He told her, confidently. "Good med'cine. Stop…fever, heal cut. Stop…baby pain…" he broke off, embarrassed that he had come to that topic. He looked away, and Sarah could see the blush creeping up his cheeks.
"I believe, Jarjuk. Thank you. Thank you for saving my friend." She smiled through her tears.
"Eat. Nice…hot." Jarjuk nodded at the bowl. Sarah ate, and it was good. She had not realized that she was hungry. She finished rather too quickly, but Jarjuk didn't seem to notice. He was watching a spider that was spinning its web in a corner of the room.
"Thank you. That was good." Sarah looked for a place to put the bowl, but Jarjuk took it off her hands. He also took the broth.
"Bring…later. Get cold." He explained.
Sarah watched him go, and turned her gaze back to Hoggle. He was still sleeping soundly, the worry lines in his brow less defined than they had been minutes ago. Sarah noticed that his arm, which had been swollen to nearly twice its size, was almost back to its normal size; it had only taken hours!
He had stopped shivering, but every now and then a few tears would run their trails from his sleeping eyes to pool in his ears. He was probably dreaming again. She reached out to brush them away, but let her hand drop when she realized that he might wake up. It was enough that she was in the room with him. Otherwise, he wouldn't have let himself sleep.
Instead, Sarah walked over to the window, and looked out. How innocent the town looked under a fresh blanket of snow.
