Author's Notes: Ok so it didnt take long to write the second part, even though I said it would. But that's mainly due to the wonderful Drumski who gave me some good ideas and set this chapter on the road to completion, kudos :)
Summary: We know that Abby's pregnant, now we get to find out how it happened ;)
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Chapter 2 - Those Things We Said
****
October 2001
****
"No.... I'll settle for someone who isn't still hung up over somebody else..." Carter's voice was firm, confident, decided.
Abby took a while trying to think of something better to reply with but in the end she went with the first thing that came into her head... "You don't have to settle for anything Carter." She walked away from the spot by the river putting up a brave front, she didn't want him to get a hint of what he had just done. Crushed her. It had taken so much effort and courage for her to finally say something to him. She had felt and was seeing him slip away from her and she didn't want to wait for him any longer. It was then or never.
And it was never anyway apparently.
****
Carter stood by the river in silence, totally cut off from the things going on around him. He had laughed bitterly when she walked away, leaving him on his own, it was a curious echo of their last talk in the same spot, only last time he walked away from her. Now she had walked away from him. The ball was in his court now, not a nice position to be in. His laughter quickly subsided and he stood stony-faced, thinking about what had just happened. He was definitely right, no doubt about it. She was still hung up over Luka, he had caught enough of the conversations the two of them were having with each other to know that their was something still there, mostly on Abby's side. Luka had moved on, got himself a new girlfriend and was smiling a lot more than he was when he was dating Abby. Abby however was following him around, feeling angry that he had moved on so quickly. In her own words "there had to be history." Well if you looked at Luka you wouldn't have thought it.
He made the right decision. He could wait until he thought she was ready.
But what if he just missed his chance?
The thought took its time to settle in his head, and the reality of it hit him hard. What if she thought he was a lost cause, too caught up in the past to embrace what the future could be like? He knew he couldn't forgive himself if he had just messed up something that could have been special. Could he deal with that? Seeing her everyday and wondering whether it would've lasted.
He started to walk home, but turned around and walked in the opposite direction on the spur of the moment.
He walked fast, knowing that Abby's short frame would be easily caught up with by his long strides. It didn't seem like he was alone for long, so she couldn't have got far.
He skipped through the various streets with ease, feeling the urge to close his eyes to see if he could make it all the way there without looking. It was a childish thought he knew, but it never failed to cross his mind when he was walking somewhere he had been so many times before.
Standing outside the door to her apartment building he contemplated walking away. Taking the coward's way out and doing what he said he would do, "settle." The thought made him shudder, settle was accepting something that isn't as good as what you were aiming for. What would that mean? Another failed affair in his case, another Rena or Roxanne. What was the point in that?
A couple stepped through the doors and politely held the doors open for him. He looked up at the various windows above him before stepping through, calling out a thankyou as the door slammed shut. Turning around, he climbed up the stairs at a snails pace. Thinking about what he would say.
****
Abby flicked off the last light in her apartment and made her way to the bedroom. Dressed in a baggy T-shirt and some sweats, her bad day clothes. Just as she got to the bedroom there was a furious knocking on the door. She thought about whether it was a salesman or some insane preacher, but since when did they call this late at night?
The knocking continued.
Maybe someone from the apartment needed a cup of sugar of something...
The knocking grew louder.
"OK OK!!" She shouted at the door, mumbling curses as she walked towards it. She opened it quickly and readied herself to give the caller a piece of her mind.
Instead her mouth just stayed open, the words were there, they were taking their time.
Carter stood, leaning heavily on the doorframe, a pained expression across his face. He looked at the floor nervously before bringing up the courage to look at her.
"I don't want to settle for anyone but you..."
It took a few seconds for the words to register for her. It was clear-cut though, nothing subtle like, "I don't want to be your friend," this was genuine, and heart-felt. What could she possibly say to that? Nothing was the answer. She took his face in her hands and softly pulled him inside. He was looking at the floor again, anxious about what she was about to say. She wasn't going to say anything.
"Ab..."
His voice was quickly cut off by a deep, passionate kiss. He recovered from the initial surprise and quickly returned her affections, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer towards him, kicking the door shut with a swift boot. They separated and Abby rested her head on his shoulder.
"Thankyou."
"For what?"
"Pretty much everything." She heard him chuckle softly and he kissed the top of her head.
"I suppose I should thank you too."
"Why?"
"For knowing that I didn't know what I was talking about out there."
"John I think the only place where you know what you're talking about is in the trauma room," she said laughing into his chest.
"Well I'm going to have to prove you wrong aren't I?" she looked up at him and saw his face light up. "....You really are beautiful you know that?" He said before kissing her again.
****
Abby woke up the next morning and smiled contentedly to herself, after months of toil and heartache she and John had finally admitted their feelings to each other. She couldn't remember how they had ended up sleeping together, although she didn't care too much.
She rolled over expecting to see John's sleeping form next to her only to be met with crumpled sheets and an indentation in the pillow where his head had been. Shaking out of her half-asleep state she sat up. She looked around the room for signs that he had left, given her luck with men she wouldn't be surprised if he had gone thinking of the night they spent as nothing more than a one-night stand, leaving her to sleep. Her doubts were eased by the sight of his pants on the floor. She breathed a sigh of relief and hopped out of bed, slipping on a robe.
Abby opened the door to find John sitting in an armchair, dressed in a crumbled T-shirt and his boxers, sipping on a cup of coffee. He looked deep in thought staring out of the window, and she wondered whether she should interrupt him.
"Sorry." John mumbled, "I didn't want to wake you."
"It's ok, I needed the sleep." She looked down at the floor waiting for him to say something. After a few moments of silence she walked into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee.
"About last night..." she heard Carter say.
"What about it?" she asked, unable to control the urge to smile.
"Well, I just thought..." he trailed off, staring out the window again, taking a sip of his coffee. She waited for him to finish but he didn't, instead he just stared. What could possibly be going through that head of his?
"Thought what?" she said, and John's head shook a little, snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Well... you know..." John continued looking out the window.
"No I don't. Maybe you can tell me?"
He turned to face her, the first time he had looked at her since she walked in. "That we are on the same page... I just wondered whether we are on the same page."
Abby frowned, "what do you mean? You can answer that yourself if you ask me. Remember last night John?" she smiled and she saw him chuckle inwardly.
"Yeah... well you know I want to make sure that we are both thinking on the same wavelength...."
"I'm still not following you," Abby interrupted, and she saw John grimace.
"I want to make sure that this wasn't just..."
"Sex?" Abby answered, "You wanted to know whether this was just sex? Why is that what you're thinking?"
"No! Not at all, but I just wanted to make sure that we were both getting the same thing out of this."
Abby walked over and put her arms around him, "John, I don't think you realise how much last night meant to me." She smiled and rested her head on his chest. "Remember what I said last night? I've been waiting for this."
Carter stroked her hair softly, "it meant a lot to me too. That's why I wanted to make sure we weren't jumping into anything."
Abby squeezed her arms tighter, "yeah I know what you mean."
John smiled, "Yeah, and look how you and Luka turned out..."
Abby stepped out of the hug the two were sharing and frowned, "I was talking about me and Richard."
Carter raised his eyebrows, "Oh right yeah. Well Luka too."
"No, Luka and I didn't rush into anything," Abby began to grow angry.
"Oh come on Abby, you two were miserable together, he killed a guy on your first date and then you slept with him out of pity..."
"Excuse me I did not sleep with him out of pity!"
"Just look at the way you both ended up, being in a relationship that had nothing but sex and confrontation."
"Wait a second Carter," Abby felt her face growing red with anger, "don't think you know everything about what happened between me and Luka. I didn't tell you everything."
"Oh what like all the wonderful times you two spent together? All the fun you had? All the times you connected emotionally? Yeah that must have just slipped your mind..."
"Shut up! Don't talk like you know exactly what happened between us."
"Don't patronise me Abby. Everyone could see that you two were never happy together. I mean Jesus, didn't it all end in a ball of flames?"
"Yeah, but..."
"But what?"
"I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you!"
"I can't believe you're still defending him to me. Maybe I was right in the first place, maybe you're not over him... Maybe...." Carter looked away, pursing his lips together.
"Maybe what?" Abby felt her anger growing and growing.
"Maybe this was a bad idea..." Carter couldn't look at her as he said it, he felt like such a coward, but there was no point in sugar coating anything.
"A bad idea!" Abby mimicked, "You think sleeping with me was a bad idea?!" Abby walked towards her front door, "Screw whether I have feelings for you, if you say something like that how can you have feelings for me?!"
Carter looked down at his feet, feeling like a schoolchild, "Abby I never said that I didn't..."
"You know what just go." Abby opened her door and stood beside it, waiting for him to leave. She was trying with everything she had to stop herself crying harder than she had ever cried before.
"Abby..."
"GO!" Abby shouted. John let out a long saddened sigh before walking into the bedroom. A few seconds later he emerged fully clothed, and grabbed his coat off the rack. He turned to say something to Abby before he left but the look on her face prevented him doing so. He saw a lonely tear stumble down her cheek and she whispered, "just go..." he turned and left.
Abby held onto the door handle for a few moments, pondering whether to open it again and bolt down the stairs, catch up with him and kiss him with all her energy. Instead she fell onto the floor, crying with all her might.
Summary: We know that Abby's pregnant, now we get to find out how it happened ;)
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Chapter 2 - Those Things We Said
****
October 2001
****
"No.... I'll settle for someone who isn't still hung up over somebody else..." Carter's voice was firm, confident, decided.
Abby took a while trying to think of something better to reply with but in the end she went with the first thing that came into her head... "You don't have to settle for anything Carter." She walked away from the spot by the river putting up a brave front, she didn't want him to get a hint of what he had just done. Crushed her. It had taken so much effort and courage for her to finally say something to him. She had felt and was seeing him slip away from her and she didn't want to wait for him any longer. It was then or never.
And it was never anyway apparently.
****
Carter stood by the river in silence, totally cut off from the things going on around him. He had laughed bitterly when she walked away, leaving him on his own, it was a curious echo of their last talk in the same spot, only last time he walked away from her. Now she had walked away from him. The ball was in his court now, not a nice position to be in. His laughter quickly subsided and he stood stony-faced, thinking about what had just happened. He was definitely right, no doubt about it. She was still hung up over Luka, he had caught enough of the conversations the two of them were having with each other to know that their was something still there, mostly on Abby's side. Luka had moved on, got himself a new girlfriend and was smiling a lot more than he was when he was dating Abby. Abby however was following him around, feeling angry that he had moved on so quickly. In her own words "there had to be history." Well if you looked at Luka you wouldn't have thought it.
He made the right decision. He could wait until he thought she was ready.
But what if he just missed his chance?
The thought took its time to settle in his head, and the reality of it hit him hard. What if she thought he was a lost cause, too caught up in the past to embrace what the future could be like? He knew he couldn't forgive himself if he had just messed up something that could have been special. Could he deal with that? Seeing her everyday and wondering whether it would've lasted.
He started to walk home, but turned around and walked in the opposite direction on the spur of the moment.
He walked fast, knowing that Abby's short frame would be easily caught up with by his long strides. It didn't seem like he was alone for long, so she couldn't have got far.
He skipped through the various streets with ease, feeling the urge to close his eyes to see if he could make it all the way there without looking. It was a childish thought he knew, but it never failed to cross his mind when he was walking somewhere he had been so many times before.
Standing outside the door to her apartment building he contemplated walking away. Taking the coward's way out and doing what he said he would do, "settle." The thought made him shudder, settle was accepting something that isn't as good as what you were aiming for. What would that mean? Another failed affair in his case, another Rena or Roxanne. What was the point in that?
A couple stepped through the doors and politely held the doors open for him. He looked up at the various windows above him before stepping through, calling out a thankyou as the door slammed shut. Turning around, he climbed up the stairs at a snails pace. Thinking about what he would say.
****
Abby flicked off the last light in her apartment and made her way to the bedroom. Dressed in a baggy T-shirt and some sweats, her bad day clothes. Just as she got to the bedroom there was a furious knocking on the door. She thought about whether it was a salesman or some insane preacher, but since when did they call this late at night?
The knocking continued.
Maybe someone from the apartment needed a cup of sugar of something...
The knocking grew louder.
"OK OK!!" She shouted at the door, mumbling curses as she walked towards it. She opened it quickly and readied herself to give the caller a piece of her mind.
Instead her mouth just stayed open, the words were there, they were taking their time.
Carter stood, leaning heavily on the doorframe, a pained expression across his face. He looked at the floor nervously before bringing up the courage to look at her.
"I don't want to settle for anyone but you..."
It took a few seconds for the words to register for her. It was clear-cut though, nothing subtle like, "I don't want to be your friend," this was genuine, and heart-felt. What could she possibly say to that? Nothing was the answer. She took his face in her hands and softly pulled him inside. He was looking at the floor again, anxious about what she was about to say. She wasn't going to say anything.
"Ab..."
His voice was quickly cut off by a deep, passionate kiss. He recovered from the initial surprise and quickly returned her affections, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer towards him, kicking the door shut with a swift boot. They separated and Abby rested her head on his shoulder.
"Thankyou."
"For what?"
"Pretty much everything." She heard him chuckle softly and he kissed the top of her head.
"I suppose I should thank you too."
"Why?"
"For knowing that I didn't know what I was talking about out there."
"John I think the only place where you know what you're talking about is in the trauma room," she said laughing into his chest.
"Well I'm going to have to prove you wrong aren't I?" she looked up at him and saw his face light up. "....You really are beautiful you know that?" He said before kissing her again.
****
Abby woke up the next morning and smiled contentedly to herself, after months of toil and heartache she and John had finally admitted their feelings to each other. She couldn't remember how they had ended up sleeping together, although she didn't care too much.
She rolled over expecting to see John's sleeping form next to her only to be met with crumpled sheets and an indentation in the pillow where his head had been. Shaking out of her half-asleep state she sat up. She looked around the room for signs that he had left, given her luck with men she wouldn't be surprised if he had gone thinking of the night they spent as nothing more than a one-night stand, leaving her to sleep. Her doubts were eased by the sight of his pants on the floor. She breathed a sigh of relief and hopped out of bed, slipping on a robe.
Abby opened the door to find John sitting in an armchair, dressed in a crumbled T-shirt and his boxers, sipping on a cup of coffee. He looked deep in thought staring out of the window, and she wondered whether she should interrupt him.
"Sorry." John mumbled, "I didn't want to wake you."
"It's ok, I needed the sleep." She looked down at the floor waiting for him to say something. After a few moments of silence she walked into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee.
"About last night..." she heard Carter say.
"What about it?" she asked, unable to control the urge to smile.
"Well, I just thought..." he trailed off, staring out the window again, taking a sip of his coffee. She waited for him to finish but he didn't, instead he just stared. What could possibly be going through that head of his?
"Thought what?" she said, and John's head shook a little, snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Well... you know..." John continued looking out the window.
"No I don't. Maybe you can tell me?"
He turned to face her, the first time he had looked at her since she walked in. "That we are on the same page... I just wondered whether we are on the same page."
Abby frowned, "what do you mean? You can answer that yourself if you ask me. Remember last night John?" she smiled and she saw him chuckle inwardly.
"Yeah... well you know I want to make sure that we are both thinking on the same wavelength...."
"I'm still not following you," Abby interrupted, and she saw John grimace.
"I want to make sure that this wasn't just..."
"Sex?" Abby answered, "You wanted to know whether this was just sex? Why is that what you're thinking?"
"No! Not at all, but I just wanted to make sure that we were both getting the same thing out of this."
Abby walked over and put her arms around him, "John, I don't think you realise how much last night meant to me." She smiled and rested her head on his chest. "Remember what I said last night? I've been waiting for this."
Carter stroked her hair softly, "it meant a lot to me too. That's why I wanted to make sure we weren't jumping into anything."
Abby squeezed her arms tighter, "yeah I know what you mean."
John smiled, "Yeah, and look how you and Luka turned out..."
Abby stepped out of the hug the two were sharing and frowned, "I was talking about me and Richard."
Carter raised his eyebrows, "Oh right yeah. Well Luka too."
"No, Luka and I didn't rush into anything," Abby began to grow angry.
"Oh come on Abby, you two were miserable together, he killed a guy on your first date and then you slept with him out of pity..."
"Excuse me I did not sleep with him out of pity!"
"Just look at the way you both ended up, being in a relationship that had nothing but sex and confrontation."
"Wait a second Carter," Abby felt her face growing red with anger, "don't think you know everything about what happened between me and Luka. I didn't tell you everything."
"Oh what like all the wonderful times you two spent together? All the fun you had? All the times you connected emotionally? Yeah that must have just slipped your mind..."
"Shut up! Don't talk like you know exactly what happened between us."
"Don't patronise me Abby. Everyone could see that you two were never happy together. I mean Jesus, didn't it all end in a ball of flames?"
"Yeah, but..."
"But what?"
"I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you!"
"I can't believe you're still defending him to me. Maybe I was right in the first place, maybe you're not over him... Maybe...." Carter looked away, pursing his lips together.
"Maybe what?" Abby felt her anger growing and growing.
"Maybe this was a bad idea..." Carter couldn't look at her as he said it, he felt like such a coward, but there was no point in sugar coating anything.
"A bad idea!" Abby mimicked, "You think sleeping with me was a bad idea?!" Abby walked towards her front door, "Screw whether I have feelings for you, if you say something like that how can you have feelings for me?!"
Carter looked down at his feet, feeling like a schoolchild, "Abby I never said that I didn't..."
"You know what just go." Abby opened her door and stood beside it, waiting for him to leave. She was trying with everything she had to stop herself crying harder than she had ever cried before.
"Abby..."
"GO!" Abby shouted. John let out a long saddened sigh before walking into the bedroom. A few seconds later he emerged fully clothed, and grabbed his coat off the rack. He turned to say something to Abby before he left but the look on her face prevented him doing so. He saw a lonely tear stumble down her cheek and she whispered, "just go..." he turned and left.
Abby held onto the door handle for a few moments, pondering whether to open it again and bolt down the stairs, catch up with him and kiss him with all her energy. Instead she fell onto the floor, crying with all her might.
