Vengeful Nightmares

Chapter 20

"My name is Gaheris." The fae said, straightening. His eyes flicked briefly towards Hoggle, and his expression was unreadable. The dwarf moved uncomfortably under the scrutiny, but his own eyes were equally expressionless. The set of his jaw indicated determination, however, and told of his refusal to be intimidated any longer. He met the fae's gaze calmly, and grew stock still. He would not…would not allow this fae to back him into a corner. Never again. Gaheris finally nodded his approval; Hoggle had earned his respect. He held out a hand, which the dwarf shook gravely. "Your name, sir?"

"Hoggle. I'm Hoggle."

"Well met," the fae allowed a smile, and addressed them all as a whole. "Well, now, what is it you wish of me?"

"For beginners," said Allisande, "Why don't you ask us in?"

"Of course. This way, please."

* * *

When she stepped into the brightly lit house, Sarah finally had a good look at Gaheris. Like Allisande, he was close to middle-age but didn't look it. He wasn't quite as tall as Jareth, but his powerful build and muscular arms and shoulders more than made up for it. In truth, he was closer to Sarah's height than to Jareth's, occupying a sort of half-way point. He had the usual fae characteristics; upswept eyebrows and mis-matched eyes (one amber, the other orange, though the color was so similar that you had to really look to spot the difference). His hair was an odd, bluish gray that resembled new steel; he wore it in a ponytail at the nape of his neck, and he was constantly having to brush back his rebellious bangs. He wore gray canvas trousers, which he had tucked into his black, suede boots; above a glinting silver belt buckle, his gray fleece shirt was open almost to the navel, and beneath that was a type of undershirt (Sarah supposed) that seemed to be made out of pure white silk. Over all this, he touched off his odd ensemble with a powder blue coat that reminded Sarah of the Civil War uniforms worn by the North, though without any badges or shoulder pads. The fae people sure had a flair for strange clothing, but he actually made it look good. "Like someone else I know…" Sarah shook her head. Where had that thought come from?

If Gaheris was aware that Sarah was staring at him, he was polite enough not to call attention to it. He stood with one hand resting on the back of a chair while Allisande further explained their reason for coming, his serene face taking in everything and yielding back nothing.

"You see, the real reason we've come is to use your meditation chamber." Allisande told him, and Sarah and Hoggle sat up straight and looked at each other with confusion. This was news to them, but Allisande had told them it was better to find out when they got there…which they had. But what was it all about?

"I see," he said finally, plucking at the brocade with his nails. Unlike Jareth, he wore no gloves. The costly fabric of the chair was already somewhat frayed, and it seemed that he often picked at it in contemplation, or perched on it as an eagle. Either way he had damaged it, but it didn't seem to bother him. His face was clouded, troubled. "Who is to go in?"

"First Hoggle, then Sarah." She replied, "It probably won't take Hoggle very long."

"And why do you feel the need to employ it? I'm sure you realize how dangerous it can be." He was still plucking at the brocade as he said this, but then he seemed to realize what he had been doing. He slapped his palm against it, almost as if giving it an apologetic pat, and turned to face her squarely. "I didn't want to call attention to it, but Sarah's friend seems to be less than stable…"

"Hey!" Hoggle protested indignantly, then he shut his mouth in alarm. Had he crossed the line?

But no, he hadn't. The fae lowered his head and shook it. "I apologize, I know it is rude to mention it in front of your friend and those who are practically strangers; but you must understand the necessity for caution. Yes, it will need to be done, if I understand what Allisande is saying; your heads must be clear, and your hearts must not be heavy. The Chamber has the potential to do that, but it also has the potential to drive you insane. The damage is permanent, do you understand?"

"I don't understand none of it." Hoggle muttered, "But what's it got to do with the dreams and Jareth?"

"I was getting to that. The Chamber makes you confront your demons, and if you can't defeat them they will devastate you in body, mind, and spirit. You could even die, that is how grave this is. Both of you must work with Jareth to end this, and neither of you must have any doubts. You must both decide; is the welfare of the Underground worth your lives?"

Both of them were silent as the three fae awaited their answers. Sarah looked up, and said, "I don't want Jareth to die." That was it. Plain, simple, and direct. It was enough. Gaheris nodded, and looked at Hoggle.

The dwarf looked at Sarah, and back at Gaheris. "I'll helps 'er. But what's my position in all this? I thought it was between the two of them."

"Not anymore." Gaheris told him. "I see something in you, around you. You've been touched by the dreams like no other. They seem to be drawn to you. I'm willing to wager that you saw things you dare not reveal even to Sarah. Things that might or might not have happened, but made to look a thousand times worse than they had been, or could have been."

Hoggle paled. How could this fae know him so well?

"Moreover, some of the dreams are inside you, right now, as we speak. I can see them curling around you like smoke, since my greatest ability is the Sight. They have power over your thoughts, and at times they can control your actions."

Hoggle shook his head, his eyes on the floor, his face fixed in a mask of horror. Inside him! The dreams were inside him! It was unthinkable, inconceivable that he could be violated so. His stomach churned lazily as he struggled to digest this thought. This was…why, it was rape! "Oh, God…" he rubbed his forehead, and drew a deep breath when he became aware that he had forgotten to breathe. This was why he couldn't block those terrible thoughts of suicide, why he couldn't control his emotions. It had to be! Before this whole damned thing had started, he was…Well, he was certainly no Mr. Cheerful, but he was at least master of himself. But now…every doubt, every bad feeling was being magnified to the point where he simply had no choice; he just had to let go. He was at their mercy; he was their slave…

"No!" his mind screamed, and his body jolted once with the force of it. He sighed again, and seemed to realize that he had been zoning out. Looking up, he saw the fae watching him patiently, and Sarah looking at him with concern. He cleared his throat. "Well…what do I have to do?"

"At the moment, this is unclear. I believe that you might actually be the key to stopping the dreams forever. The dreams are drawn to you, and you seem to be a catalyst of some sort. Perhaps the Chamber will return you to yourself and give you the power to draw them at will…or, perhaps, it will kill you. This is up to you, Hoggle. Not me, not Sarah, not Jareth or the dreams, but you.

"I'll do it." He said immediately, surprising them all.

"You are sure? You don't need to think about it?" asked Gaheris.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I promised Sarah…and anything's better'n this. I can't live like this no more. If this's the only way…I'd say it's damn-well worth it."

* * *

After a small, hurried meal of chicken soup and crackers, Gaheris led them up two flights of stairs to what would have been an attic in any other house. He wouldn't explain how the chamber had been crafted and infused with magic, or why, saying that a man needed at least one well-guarded secret to sustain him in a world full of nosy-parkers. He said all this with a wry grin, but he was adamant in his refusal to tell them.

As they went down a long hallway to the door of the Chamber, Sarah imagined that they resembled the four friends in 'The Wizard of Oz' on their way to meet the great fraud himself, even though there were five of them. She felt the terror suddenly well up as she realized what might happen. This could be the last time she ever saw her best friend alive. Gaheris was giving Hoggle instructions of some sort, but she didn't hear them; her eyes were fixed on Hoggle, where he stood looking up at the fae. Now more than ever, he resembled a lost little boy. His face was filled with quiet fear, but also something else…somewhere deep inside him resided a tiny spark of courage, waiting to be kindled.

She saw him nod one final time, and turn to face the door as Gaheris moved to open it. Her eyes filled with tears, and she stepped forward and called out, "Hoggle!"

The dwarf stopped and turned around as Sarah dropped to one knee and pulled him close. "I love you!" She whispered as he returned the embrace awkwardly. Her heart belonged to Jareth, but Hoggle had a special place in it, too. He gently pulled away, and turned back to the door.

"I'll be back."

* * *

Sarah sat with Sharee in the living room as the two adults waited outside the Chamber. Sharee had kept silent for a time, feeling as if anything she said would be like trespassing on sacred ground. She didn't particularly understand Sarah's friendship with the dwarf, but she couldn't help but respect it. She hadn't really cared to mix with the dwarves, though she didn't mind humans, and she was surprised to see how very human he seemed in all but appearance. Humans being fae-like, dwarves being human-like…it was all very confusing to a young fae! If they were all so alike, why did they keep to themselves? She liked Sarah, and saw that, given time to get to know him, she could like Hoggle just as well. So she was subdued at the prospect of seeing this man die.

If he died, they might not be able to win. What a strange idea! A dwarf having that sort of power. Oddly enough, Jareth had actually given him that power, simply by disliking him! Simply by wishing pain on him. It was a sobering idea. By hurting others, you can actually give them as much power as you take away…either that, or they receive it automatically. Revenge. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth…

But Hoggle didn't want revenge; he just wanted to be left alone to live his life. That was different, but he was still the key. Whether he wanted it or not, he had the potential for power. He just might be able to tame the dreams and hold them in one place, whether that place be in him or near him. He just might…but first he had to learn how, and he had to find strength. Even Sharee could see the strength hidden in him; it was not great, and it was not remarkable, but hopefully…hopefully it would be enough. A man needed strength sometimes, if only for his morale. Hopefully he would find that strength in the Chamber.

Sarah turned her gaze to the staircase, and Sharee put a hand on her arm. "You can trust Gaheris. If your friend had no chance, he wouldn't have even let him try."

"I hope you're right."

"Sure I am." She pushed back her brown hair, and smiled. "Gaheris is almost family, you know."

Sarah thought she was hinting at something, and asked, "Almost family?"

"Oh, aye. He and Allisande are engaged to be married. It's an arranged marriage, but fortunately for him, she's sweet on 'im. I think he fancies her, too. They're not head-over-heels in love yet, but the potential is there. So, you see, we've had time to get to know him. If he says there's a chance, then there's a chance."

"But if he doesn't make it…"

"He will." Sharee said firmly, "Have faith in him. And remember; when he comes out, he'll have to wait for you, too. He'll have the same doubts."

* * *

The door closed behind Hoggle, and he jumped involuntarily. He looked over his shoulder, and then up at the ceiling. Casting his eyes over the large room, he was almost surprised to see that it wasn't anything more glamorous than an old attic. That's what it seemed like; just a room. He didn't relax, though. Gaheris had warned him that that was how it would appear, and he guessed that here, as well as in the Labyrinth, things weren't always what they seemed. He would not take this room for granted.

He licked his lips with a parched tongue, making a soft rasping sound that was not unlike that of someone crinkling a wad of paper. Biting the tip of his tongue to coax a bit of moisture into his mouth, he stepped forward and thought over what Gaheris had told him. "Find a place to sit down, and try to relax. It won't take long for something to happen, and there isn't much more you have to do to get things started. You'll know that it's started when the door disappears. After that, I can't tell you what will happen; it's different for everyone. When it's over, the room will allow you to leave. I pray you find success…"

"Well…here goes nuthin'…" he sighed, heading for a whitish lump that in reality was an armchair covered in a canvas tarp. He considered removing the tarp, but he was hesitant about disturbing anything. Instead of removing the dusty cloth, he simply brushed it off and vaulted himself into the middle of it. Springs creaked, but didn't bounce back. This was an old chair, and Hoggle winced and squirmed as the springs pushed through the failing stuffing and against the fabric; he quickly gave up, and accepted the fact that he'd have to live with a sore bum for a while. He sat with his thighs locked, not trusting the more sensitive parts of his anatomy to the treacherous springs. Eyes fixed on the door, he waited.

Hoggle sat like this for five minutes without blinking, and his eyes soon became sore and caused him to blink. Upon opening his eyes, he saw that the door was gone. His heart began to pound, and a greasy sheen of sweat broke on his brow. This was it!

He abandoned the chair, and stood nervously in the center of the room…which wasn't exactly a room anymore. Around the place where he stood, he could barely see the walls, which had become like brown seran wrap. When he walked, he carried the room with him. When he stopped, the room stopped. A gray fog swirled about his feet and over his head, turning red in places and then going gray again, giving him the uneasy feeling that he was inside a malevolent egg.

"What's goin' on?" he muttered, and although he didn't expect an answer he got one.

" Well, frankly son, we're in yer head."

Hoggle whipped around and saw that he stood face to face with his father. His father. Hoggle stood in silence, regarding the old man coldly, as if he had never seen him before.

"You…you recognize me, don't ya?" the dwarf asked.

Hoggle nodded once, and grunted. "Yeah, I recognize you. What're you doing in my head?"

The old man looked down at his feet, and sighed. "It's a long story, son. Maybe I'm not the best one fer you ta talk to. Frankly, I don't knows where to begin." He turned away, and disappeared into the mists. Hoggle let him go. He turned his back on where his father had been standing, and froze. His mother was there, too.

"Mum?" he whispered, believing her to be just another dream, but wanting her to be real, "Mama?"

The woman smiled at him, and started forward. He backed up, and shook his head. "You can't be her…she's dead…"

"Hoggle…it's really me."

"But…" he stopped speaking, and just stared at her. She stood calmly in front of him, and waited. Finally, he found his voice and said, "A memory, maybe." Oddly enough, he wasn't crying. A strange sort of calm settled on him, and for the first time in days, he felt safe. "How?" he asked.

Her face lit up as she smiled again, a face that was much younger than his own, though the spirit was several years his senior. "I never left, Hoggle. Part of me stayed behind. I couldn't leave my boy."

Hoggle's heart lurched. He stepped forward, and hesitated. "Can I…"

"Of course!" she laughed, and he put his arms around her, inadvertently breathing in the scent that identified her as Mother. That was all the proof he needed. He trembled, overwhelmed.

"Mum! I…I don't know what to say! I never thought I'd see you again. You still looks the same!"

"And you! You had to grow up so fast…my little boy…it's so hard to believe, yer a man now!" she laughed, tugging briefly at his white hair. "Though…" she grew more serious, "You do look older than I expected ya to."

Hoggle smirked. "You call me 'Grampa,' and I'm leavin'!"

They laughed again, and she took his hand and began to walk. "Where we goin'?" he asked.

"Wherever your mind takes us." She said solemnly, "I'm here ta keep you sane."