LALALALA SAID THE FUNNY LOOKING COW



Once upon a time. There was a little red headed seventeen year old, flying on a broomstick. On the Hogwarts playing field. He had blue eyes. Blue like water. Blue like water under glass. Blue like blue water under blue glass. Blue like my bed sheets. After a few times washed, those filthy things need a little help once in a while. My mother said I need to wash them more than once a year. Anyways… He was flying fast! Flying FAR! Flying like a turtle in water. Blue water. Well, he was flying. All alone except for the thoughts floating around in his head. All of a sudden, a girl with light brown hair with brown eyeballs came out, screaming "Ron! Ron! Oh Ron! Give it to me, Ron! Come back to me Ron! Oh, Ron! Rooon! You are such a man!" Ron stopped in midair.

"I can't Hermione, I can't! I can't love you the way you love me. Cho has my heart, and she's holding it like a fat man holds buttered toast. I must leave you Hermy! Leave you alone for the pigeons to eat like the crumbs sprinkled by the old ladies in the park."

"Oh Ron!" Hermione ripped off her shirt. "I'm pregnant with your child!" Ron stopped in midair.

"but I never slept with you!" he stuttered.

"well, remember that one time in the common room? You thought it was just a dream didn't you? Well, you were sleeping…"

"I never!"

"yes!"

"no!"

"Yes!"

"no!"

"oh wait, that was Malfoy. Never mind. Where is that silly boy?" Ron flew past her into the woods. Now he was completely alone. Suddenly, Harry appeared naked.

"Hey, Ron my good chap!"

"Harry, why are you naked?" Harry turned bright red.

"Well… you see… I got bored so I striped and dived into this pond over here." He pointed at a little stream. There was a sign covered with ivy. Ron landed his broom and pushed the ivy away.

"Harry, this sign says: "magical chipmunk pond. All who submerge their private parts here will become talking muskrats."" Harry shrugged and said

"If I'm going to turn into a muskrat, why is it called Chipmunk pond?"

"well you see Harry we're all cats" said a small but strange voice coming from Harry's….ummm…well you know… his nose! Magically Voldemort came out of Ron's butt! "Who wants smoothies?" Voldemort called. " I would love a smoothie" Harry said happily while jumping up in the air and dancing like a dieing fish on a hot summers day. Suddenly, a chrystal light burst from Harry's chest. He floated in the air like the beast at the end of the movie, beauty and the beast. Suddenly, in midair, Harry let a loud fart and exploded. When the smoke cleared, there stood a purple muskrat.

"What was that all about?" Harry demanded. Ron and Voldemort looked at eachother. Then Ron stepped forward and kicked the muskrat far! Fast! Over the meadow and through the woods, until Harry the muskrat was a tiny speck in the blue, blue sky.

"would you care to dance?" asked Voldemort.

"I would ever so love to!" shouted Ron ecstatically. "Would you like to date my sister, she's one hot number!" Voldemort blushed.

"Call me Voldie." Then voldemort turned into a fluffy pink bunny, hopped away into the dark forest. Suddenly, Ron heard a loud "BOOM!" and a squeal. and he knew, that Voldemort would never live to dance again.