Chp.2

The pophoefernada!

Note: Sandwich girl is my bestest friend ever! I can't spell or write, so we wrote this together. So pooh on all that wiggles and doom to all that does not hale to the jello king, SIMBA!!!





Meanwhile Hermione was looking for her love, her true love, the only one, the only one EVER! She was searching for Draco Malfoy. She liked the way he ate tuna fish sandwiches. It was magical. Suddenly, Hermione felt something hit her in the back. She had been cursed! Just before she dropped to the ground she saw a face, a beautiful face! A very, very, very beautiful face… it was that face… of… ummm… Neville Longbottom!

"I'm sorry I had to do this Hermione. I had to pee. And you were in my way. And you smell so great! I just have to take you for my wife. And we'll eat barbequed cats at our wedding service!" And Neville took Hermione's stiff body in his strong muscular arms and moved her out of the way so he could get to the bathroom to pee.

Hermione woke up 3 hours later in the hallway with a head sticking out of the toilet next to her.

"Hermione! I have been looking all over for you!!!" Hermione had heard that voice many times. It was her lover! Her muse! The father of her child! It was Draco! Draco Malfoy, the man of many hairs upon his head. She had longed to hear that name for many, many days, and now she had!

"Draco, my love!"

"Hermione, my desire!"

"Draco my one and only!"

"Hermione, my sweet potato!"

"Draco, my hamster pal!"

"Hermione my desk humper"

"Draco, I want to marry you! I am carrying your child! But Neville wants me to be his own. But I want you, Draccy! You!"

"And I you, Herm-Herm!" And with that, Draco climbed out of the toilet and kissed Hermione. ON THE LIPS!!! OH MY GOD!



Ron went zooming about the woods. He was completely lost, and he didn't know where he was. Soon, he came across a dead cat. In the air.

'HELLO!" boomed the dead cat.

"Hello Mr. deadcat."

"RONALD WEASLY! I AM A SIGN FROM GOD ABOVE! I HAVE COME TO TELL YOU GREAT BAD THINGS WILL SOON HAPPEN TO YOU AND YOUR TOE!"

"What, great dead cat from God?"

"SOON IT WILL TURN BRIGHT GREEN AND SPROUT WINGS AND FLY AWAY, LEAVING YOU TOE-LESS!!!'

"Oh no! Is there anything I can do?"

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" And with one little "pop" it was gone! And Ron magically appeared on someone's bed. Whose bed? Well, you will soon find out.

"What the great green paisleys are you doing in my beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed?!" screamed professor Snape wearing purple lingerie.

"I have come to make passionate love to you and your little dog too!" what? Why did he say that? Ron didn't know!

"Fifty points to Gryffindor!"



Cliffhanger! I Love peas!