The Dating Game
Am: Welcome to The Dating Game. I'm your hostess, Amanda, and this is your host, Edge!
Edge: Hi.
Am: Today we're introducing our bachelorette... er... yeah... Uhm... Ok. *turns to the writer* BOB!
Bob(the monkey): Eee ee oo?
Am: What the hell is this?! He's not a bachelorette!
Bob: Eee ee aa OO!
Am: He is not! He isn't a bachelorette just because he likes guys!
Bob: EEE AAA OO!!
Am: Yeah, ok, fine! Here's our BACHELOR, Billy.
Billy: Hiya!
Am: Ok, here's todays.... Shit, what the hell?! BOB!
Bob: OO OOE EEE!
Am: I don't think today's BACHELORS are gonna be HAPPY about this!
Bob: Eee ooa!
Am: I don't want my ass kicked!
Edge: I'll protect you!
Audience: Awwwwww!
Am: *hugs Edge* You're sweet, but these guys can kill us both.
Edge: Oh....
Am: Ok, Billy, try your hardest to sound like a girl... We'll leave the horrible surprise for later.
Billy: *clears his throat*
Am: Here's today's bachelors.... Bachelor 1.... He's big and tough, and he likes his beer....
B1: What?
Am: .... I said-
B1: What?
Am: ...... Bache-
B1: What?
Am: Shut up!
B1: ........
Am: Ok, Bachelor 2 is tall dark and handsome... (Or so Bob says). And he... Ok, here's bachelor 2....
B2: If you-
Am: No!
B2: Ok.
Am: Bachelor 3 is a slimy hairball.
B3: HEY!
Am: I never said I'd introduce you properly! Ok, Bi... Billette, ask away.
Billy: *In a girly voice* Bachelor 1...
B1: What?
Billy: Bachelor 1, If I was-
B1: What?
Am: Don't start this again! I'll take out the tasers!
Billy: Ok Bachelor 2, What's love got to do with it?
B2: ??????
Billy: *Waiting for an answer*
B2: ......uh..... Something?
Billy: Bachelor 3, how much money would you spend on me at dinner?
B3: Well, I guess-
B2: It doesn't matter what you think!
B1: What?
Am: SHUT UP!
B1 and 2: .......
B3: As I was saying-
Am: It doesn't matter what you think!
Billy: I WANT TO KNOW!
B3: you sound like a man when you yell....
Billy: *In a higher-pitched voice* I mean... I want to know...
Bob: *laughing in a monkey-laugh*
Edge: *snickering*
Am: *barely keeping a straight face*
B3: Ok... I guess as much as I had to... Whatever you ordered, I guess. I dunno.
Billy: Ok, Bachelor 1...
B1: What?
Billy: If we went shopping for... clothes... what would you buy for me?
B1: What?
Billy: That's what I'm asking you! Silly.
B1: What?
Billy: Huh?
B1: I don't shop!
Billy: Bachelor 2... same question. *clears throat*
B2: *shrugs*
B1: What?
B2: I shrugged!
B1: What?
B3: He-
B2: It doesn't matter what you think!
Am: *exasperated sigh* That's the last time these three are on my show.
B3: What am I doing?
B1: What?
Billy: Well.. Can I pick now?
Am: Please do....
B1: What?
B2: Finally! The-
Am: A! Shut up!
B1: What?
Am: ARGH!
Billy: Well.. Bachelor 1 seems kind of... -
B1: What?
Billy: Mean..? Bachelor 2... you...
B2: It doesn't matter what you think!
Billy: You're too loud. Bachelor 3, I pick you.
Am: *gagging sounds*
B3: *reveals himself as...... X-PAC!!!!!* Wh... You're.....
Billy: Come give daddy a kiss!
X-pac: *shrieks and runs away*
Billy: *Chases X-Pac*
Am: *pushes the screen away*
Stone Cold: What?
The Rock: If you Smelllllllllllll what the ROCK is cooking!
Am: *rolls her eyes* Guys-
Stone Cold: What?
Am: I was say-
The Rock: It doesn't matter what you say!
Am: *eyes glow red* That's IT! *shocks them both with the tasers*
Edge: *looks scared*
Am: Bob! Drag their sorry asses out the back door! Edge, you too!
Bob: *does so*
Edge: *does too*
Nicki in audience: Awwww....
END
Am: Welcome to The Dating Game. I'm your hostess, Amanda, and this is your host, Edge!
Edge: Hi.
Am: Today we're introducing our bachelorette... er... yeah... Uhm... Ok. *turns to the writer* BOB!
Bob(the monkey): Eee ee oo?
Am: What the hell is this?! He's not a bachelorette!
Bob: Eee ee aa OO!
Am: He is not! He isn't a bachelorette just because he likes guys!
Bob: EEE AAA OO!!
Am: Yeah, ok, fine! Here's our BACHELOR, Billy.
Billy: Hiya!
Am: Ok, here's todays.... Shit, what the hell?! BOB!
Bob: OO OOE EEE!
Am: I don't think today's BACHELORS are gonna be HAPPY about this!
Bob: Eee ooa!
Am: I don't want my ass kicked!
Edge: I'll protect you!
Audience: Awwwwww!
Am: *hugs Edge* You're sweet, but these guys can kill us both.
Edge: Oh....
Am: Ok, Billy, try your hardest to sound like a girl... We'll leave the horrible surprise for later.
Billy: *clears his throat*
Am: Here's today's bachelors.... Bachelor 1.... He's big and tough, and he likes his beer....
B1: What?
Am: .... I said-
B1: What?
Am: ...... Bache-
B1: What?
Am: Shut up!
B1: ........
Am: Ok, Bachelor 2 is tall dark and handsome... (Or so Bob says). And he... Ok, here's bachelor 2....
B2: If you-
Am: No!
B2: Ok.
Am: Bachelor 3 is a slimy hairball.
B3: HEY!
Am: I never said I'd introduce you properly! Ok, Bi... Billette, ask away.
Billy: *In a girly voice* Bachelor 1...
B1: What?
Billy: Bachelor 1, If I was-
B1: What?
Am: Don't start this again! I'll take out the tasers!
Billy: Ok Bachelor 2, What's love got to do with it?
B2: ??????
Billy: *Waiting for an answer*
B2: ......uh..... Something?
Billy: Bachelor 3, how much money would you spend on me at dinner?
B3: Well, I guess-
B2: It doesn't matter what you think!
B1: What?
Am: SHUT UP!
B1 and 2: .......
B3: As I was saying-
Am: It doesn't matter what you think!
Billy: I WANT TO KNOW!
B3: you sound like a man when you yell....
Billy: *In a higher-pitched voice* I mean... I want to know...
Bob: *laughing in a monkey-laugh*
Edge: *snickering*
Am: *barely keeping a straight face*
B3: Ok... I guess as much as I had to... Whatever you ordered, I guess. I dunno.
Billy: Ok, Bachelor 1...
B1: What?
Billy: If we went shopping for... clothes... what would you buy for me?
B1: What?
Billy: That's what I'm asking you! Silly.
B1: What?
Billy: Huh?
B1: I don't shop!
Billy: Bachelor 2... same question. *clears throat*
B2: *shrugs*
B1: What?
B2: I shrugged!
B1: What?
B3: He-
B2: It doesn't matter what you think!
Am: *exasperated sigh* That's the last time these three are on my show.
B3: What am I doing?
B1: What?
Billy: Well.. Can I pick now?
Am: Please do....
B1: What?
B2: Finally! The-
Am: A! Shut up!
B1: What?
Am: ARGH!
Billy: Well.. Bachelor 1 seems kind of... -
B1: What?
Billy: Mean..? Bachelor 2... you...
B2: It doesn't matter what you think!
Billy: You're too loud. Bachelor 3, I pick you.
Am: *gagging sounds*
B3: *reveals himself as...... X-PAC!!!!!* Wh... You're.....
Billy: Come give daddy a kiss!
X-pac: *shrieks and runs away*
Billy: *Chases X-Pac*
Am: *pushes the screen away*
Stone Cold: What?
The Rock: If you Smelllllllllllll what the ROCK is cooking!
Am: *rolls her eyes* Guys-
Stone Cold: What?
Am: I was say-
The Rock: It doesn't matter what you say!
Am: *eyes glow red* That's IT! *shocks them both with the tasers*
Edge: *looks scared*
Am: Bob! Drag their sorry asses out the back door! Edge, you too!
Bob: *does so*
Edge: *does too*
Nicki in audience: Awwww....
END
