The Dating Game

A/N: We're adding our own original characters to this, because there's so little divas we know of in the WWE.

Am: Hello, welcome to The Dating Game. I'm your hostess, Am! This is your host, Edge, and our new baby, Cooper, the chimpanzee!

Cooper: *wearing a diaper* Ee ee! *hugs Edge*

Edge: He's cute, but he's still a monkey, Amanda...

Am: Shhh! You'll hurt Cooper's feelings! Ok, today's bachelor is..... Matt Hardy!

Matt: Hi... Please don't give me bad people....

Am: Today's bachelorettes! B-ette 1 describes herself as-

Billy in audience: *Sitting with X-Pac on his lap*

Am: Hey, you're distracting me! Get back in your seat, X-pac!

X-Pac: I CAN'T!

Am: Billy, let him go!

Billy: Ok. *Let's go of his arms and when X-Pac stands up and tries to move he falls*

Am: Stupid... Ok, B-ette 1 calls herself the toughest chick around!

B-ette1: Yo.

Am: B-ette 2 is daring, and single.

B-ette2: Hello.

Am: B-ette 3 says she loves the night, and the color red is beautiful.

B-ette3: It is a pleasure to be on such a beautiful show, Amanda.

Am: Ok, get to axin' Matt!

Matt: Uhm... B-ette 1... Uhm... Say I wanted to get married but we only knew eachother for a week... what would you do/say?

B-ette1: Screw you, man! Forget it!

Matt: O..k... B-ette 2.... What would you say "moving farther into our relationship" means?

B-ette2: I think it's when you tell your parther that you love them.

Matt: B-ette 3, what would you do if I left you for someone else?

B-ette3: I would come to you in the night and steal your soul, along with the other mortal.

Matt: Er... B-ette 1, what kind of music do you listen to?

B-ette1: I like heavy metal.

Matt: B-ette 2, what kind of music would you want to listen to while, erm, cuddling?

B-ette2: Well, anything soft and relaxing. I guess it depends on who I'm with, and what mood I'm in.

Matt: B-ette 3, have you ever killed anyone?

B-ette3: Yes, I have. I have never been caught yet, and I am positive I never will be.

Am: *shakes her head*

Cooper: *playing with Edge's hair*

Edge: A little help here, Amanda?

Am: Cooper, leave Daddy's hair alone, please.

Cooper: Ee ee.... *hugs Edge again*

Bob: *sulking in the corner*

Nicki in audience: A MURDERER!!! CALL THE police...

B-ette3: It is useless to call mortals such as them! I shall disappear without a trace as they arrive, leaving whoever called looking like an imbecile!

Matt: B-ette 1, when I'm sick... what would you do?

B-ette1: Tell you to get your lazy ass out of bed and walk it off! *laughs*

Matt: B-ette 2, what kind of pet do you like?

B-ette2: I like cats. Dogs are ok too though...

Matt: B-ette 3, what kind of movies do you like?

B-ette3: I love gore and horror!

Matt: Of course you do. B-ette 1, what qualities do you look for in men?

B-ette1: Men?! I don't LIKE men!

Am: Er, sorry Matt, we were running short on women....

Matt: B-ette 2, same question.

B-ette2: Well, someone who understands me, and someone who will protect me.

Audience: Awwwwww.....

Matt: B-ette3, same question.

B-ette3: I look for a fine neck.

Am: Ok, Matty, choose!

Matt: Bachelorette 2... and it wasn't a hard choice...

B-ette2: *runs from behind the screen and throws her arms around Matt*

Am: It's LITA!

Lita: Finally!

Matt: I know...

Am: *pushes the screen aside to reveal Ami Frair (my original character, who likes girls), and Sorcha (another original character. She's a vampire, for those who hadn't guessed....)

Sorcha: What a lovely neck you have, my dear boy.

Matt: Er... *Walks away quickly with Lita*

Am: That's all for today, friends! Tune in next time to see Matt's bro get bombarded by a horde of adoring fangirls!

Jeff in audience: Hey! That wasn't in the agreement!

Am: See you later! Edge, can you carry baby for me?

Edge: *shakes his head and picks up Cooper*

Cooper: *pulls Edge's hair*

Bob: *follows them away*

Brock in audience: *Looks at Nicki*

Nicki in audience: Why have you been so quiet lately???

END