Chapter 12: The Wizard's "Magic"
"The Wizard o' Oz is . . . you?" the Lion asked Jack, confused.
Jack's eyes narrowed and shook his head. "My dark side."
Sitting in front of them was another samurai who looked almost exactly like Jack. He wore a black robe with red trim. His eyes glinted red, and he had a twisted, evil grin from ear to ear.
"The Munchkins said you were a sorcerer, didn't they?" the false wizard snickered. "These people will believe anything."
"How did you know that?"
"I'm you! I see everything you see!"
"Then why does it not work the other way around?"
"I don't know! I'm a wizard, not an Einstein!" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Something new I picked up."
"Why did you pretend to be Aku?"
"I was humoring you."
"You're a fraud!" Nick cried. "You're a humbug!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"Least he's blind," the Scarecrow observed.
Mad Jack pointed right at him. "Say that again you big bag of hay!"
"It's true," Jack said. "You are not wearing the glasses."
"Oh, so that's the deal, eh?" Mad Jack walked over and pulled Jack's sunglasses back. Jack could see that there was nothing blinding about this room, and it looked more like white than it did emerald green. Before he could question what he was seeing, Mad Jack snapped the shades back.
"OW!" Jack couldn't stop himself from crying out.
"Everybody here wanted an emerald city. They thought I was made out of emeralds. So, I just built a regular city and made up the thing about the emeralds being blinding. The shades are just green tinted."
"You are very bad man!" the Scarecrow cried.
Mad Jack grinned even bigger. "Oh yeah!"
"You are even a worse wizard," Jack told him.
"Uh-huh. But I make a pretty good con, don't I?"
"But what about my heart?" Nick cried.
"And m' courage!" the Lion growled.
"And my brains!" the Scarecrow asked.
"Even an evil samurai can never go back on his promises," Jack reminded.
Mad Jack threw his hands in the air. "You idiots! Haven't you been listening? You had all those things all along! It's been right under your noses! Frankly, you guys are the stupidest people I have ever seen!"
There was silence for a few seconds. Then all three of Jack's friends argued at once about how they wanted something tangible.
Finally, Mad Jack groaned. "All right, all right! I'll get you your stupid gifts."
He reached in from that little closet they had discovered and pulled out a spike. He drove it into the Scarecrow's head. "There. Now you're sharp."
Next, he pulled out his sword and etched out a heart on Nick's chest. Poor Nick screamed in pain. After his work, Mad Jack grinned. "Lesson one: love hurts."
Finally, he pulled out a bottle of Extra, Extra Hot Sauce. "Bottoms up, kitty!" He opened up the Lion's huge mouth and poured the whole bottle in. Afterwards, the Lion coughed and tried to shake the tears out of his watery eyes. "Now you have that fire in your belly!"
"More like in m' throat!" the Lion gasped.
"I'll bet you'll sweat it off in no time."
"And now, my promise," Jack said smiling. He was interested to see what his dark side will do for this one.
"Oh, I have a way home. I'll have it ready by tomorrow."
"What is it?"
"Come tomorrow around noon and see! Now get out of here!"
Jack slept in a little later than usual. He met his friends right outside the palace. "Scarecrow? Did you take out your new brains?"
"No. Nick just helped me cut them down and put them in my head. I didn't want to poke anybody's eyes out. They still work beautifully. I spent all night thinking excellent thoughts."
Jack was impressed. Scarecrow's voice sounded smoother, and he was speaking correct grammar. Perhaps the false brains had some kind of positive effect.
"And how are you enjoying your new gift?" Jack asked Nick.
"Oh, it still stings," Nick answered, but then sighed, "but it is the sweetest ache in the world."
"Aye, and m' throat is still burnin' but I feel like I can take on anything! Come on, Laddie, show me what ye got!"
"I will not fight a friend," Jack answered laughing.
"Awwwe, come on!"
Around noon, all the Emerald City gathered around the palace. Mad Jack had made a hot air balloon with the Empire's symbol on a black background. Jack had no idea how that would get him home, but at least it will take him across that deadly desert. He and his three friends stood with Mad Jack at the front as he addressed the crowd.
"I'm going far away to visit some old friends. While I'm gone, by the power invested in me, yada yada yada, follow the straw bag over there, 'cause he's smart. And now, I'm outta here!"
Mad Jack stepped into the balloon, and Jack came in as well. "Ah ah ah!" Mad Jack said shaking his finger. "Who said anything about YOU coming?" So saying, he pushed a surprised Jack out of the gondola. Mad Jack cackled loudly and cut the rope that anchored the balloon to the ground.
"Oh no you don't!" Amber grabbed a loose rope and pulled herself up into the gondola. "Look, who's gonna make you omelets in the morning?"
"Gotta point," Mad Jack answered. "Right now, I think I need some sugar!" He grabbed her and gave her a sudden kiss. Jack stood and watched the balloon until it disappeared from sight. Just before it went out of earshot, Mad Jack laughed one more time and yelled, "I'm finally getting out of this dump! Sayonara, losers!"
As the crowd dispersed, Jack drew his sword, screamed, and plunged it into the street. He stayed that way for many minutes, seething in anger and sorrow.
"Please, Jack, stay with us," the Scarecrow pleaded. "You will never have to worry about Aku anymore."
"It is true," Jack whispered. "All evil seems to have been driven from this place. But my conscience will always be plagued knowing that my parents and all my people will forever be slaves."
"Don't go on like this!" Nick said. "I'll cry, and I'll rust again!"
Jack handed him a piece of his robe. "Here. Dry your eyes."
"Perhaps you can call the Winged Monkeys?" the Scarecrow suggested.
"They cannot fly across time," Jack answered. "I would waste one use of the charm. Perhaps I could go on another quest. This is a land of magic. Maybe there's a time portal or someone somewhere who knows such a power. But if this land believed the most powerful wizard was my dark side, my hope would be very grim indeed."
Jellia sat beside Jack. "Sorry. I couldn't help overhearing."
Jack looked up at her. "You didn't go with him?"
"No. There wasn't much of a point once I saw he had nothing to offer. I always suspected he was a phony, really, ever since that one night I nearly accidentally took off my shades and saw things as they were."
"Then why did you worked for him?"
"'Cause it was a much sweeter job than working for E-Mart. And I thought he might know a thing or two."
"Which reminds me," the Scarecrow asked, "who do you think should take Amber's place?"
"Nobody, of course! You're not going to be so strict about not seeing anybody, and I think it's time we enjoy how this city really looks, without the shades." So saying, she fought to take off the shades herself. "See? Things look much better when they're in many colors, not just one.
"But, anyway, as I was going to say, I think you probably should go south and see Glinda."
"Who is she?" Jack asked.
"She's the Good Witch of the South and ruler of Quadling Country. She's very powerful, for real this time. Her palace is on the edge of the desert, so she may have an idea of how to cross it. In fact, I'll bet she already has an idea to send you through time, and she has been waiting to tell it to you."
"How do you know that?"
"Well, it is said she has a book that records everything important that ever happens in Oz. She reads it on a regular basis. She probably already knows you're here and has been working to solve your problem. She will be very helpful, too. Many say she is as good as she is beautiful. But the only way to find out is to go down and see her. She is directly south of the Emerald City. Just be careful. The journey is much more dangerous than any you have faced yet here were. A lot of people on the journey and very territorial. You might want to hang on to that Golden Cap. You probably need to use it a time or two."
"Thank you for your advice," Jack said bowing to her.
"Hey, no problem," Jellia smiled.
"Goodbye, my friends. May your new lives bring you much prosperity and happiness."
"Why do you say that?" Nick said.
"I am not putting you in danger. You have what you wished for. Now let me go alone."
"No!" Scarecrow answered. "You rescued me from the corn field. I got to return the favor."
"My new heart will not rest until I see you home," Nick answered. "Besides, who knows? You might need an extra blade."
"I just gotta go with ye because city life doesn't agree with me," the Lion said. "I wanna find a new home on m' way to helpin' ye."
"Well, I suppose there is no stopping you," Jack answered. "Let's go."
Jellia called after the Scarecrow, "Just make sure you come back soon! Remember, you're our new ruler!"
"The Wizard o' Oz is . . . you?" the Lion asked Jack, confused.
Jack's eyes narrowed and shook his head. "My dark side."
Sitting in front of them was another samurai who looked almost exactly like Jack. He wore a black robe with red trim. His eyes glinted red, and he had a twisted, evil grin from ear to ear.
"The Munchkins said you were a sorcerer, didn't they?" the false wizard snickered. "These people will believe anything."
"How did you know that?"
"I'm you! I see everything you see!"
"Then why does it not work the other way around?"
"I don't know! I'm a wizard, not an Einstein!" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Something new I picked up."
"Why did you pretend to be Aku?"
"I was humoring you."
"You're a fraud!" Nick cried. "You're a humbug!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"Least he's blind," the Scarecrow observed.
Mad Jack pointed right at him. "Say that again you big bag of hay!"
"It's true," Jack said. "You are not wearing the glasses."
"Oh, so that's the deal, eh?" Mad Jack walked over and pulled Jack's sunglasses back. Jack could see that there was nothing blinding about this room, and it looked more like white than it did emerald green. Before he could question what he was seeing, Mad Jack snapped the shades back.
"OW!" Jack couldn't stop himself from crying out.
"Everybody here wanted an emerald city. They thought I was made out of emeralds. So, I just built a regular city and made up the thing about the emeralds being blinding. The shades are just green tinted."
"You are very bad man!" the Scarecrow cried.
Mad Jack grinned even bigger. "Oh yeah!"
"You are even a worse wizard," Jack told him.
"Uh-huh. But I make a pretty good con, don't I?"
"But what about my heart?" Nick cried.
"And m' courage!" the Lion growled.
"And my brains!" the Scarecrow asked.
"Even an evil samurai can never go back on his promises," Jack reminded.
Mad Jack threw his hands in the air. "You idiots! Haven't you been listening? You had all those things all along! It's been right under your noses! Frankly, you guys are the stupidest people I have ever seen!"
There was silence for a few seconds. Then all three of Jack's friends argued at once about how they wanted something tangible.
Finally, Mad Jack groaned. "All right, all right! I'll get you your stupid gifts."
He reached in from that little closet they had discovered and pulled out a spike. He drove it into the Scarecrow's head. "There. Now you're sharp."
Next, he pulled out his sword and etched out a heart on Nick's chest. Poor Nick screamed in pain. After his work, Mad Jack grinned. "Lesson one: love hurts."
Finally, he pulled out a bottle of Extra, Extra Hot Sauce. "Bottoms up, kitty!" He opened up the Lion's huge mouth and poured the whole bottle in. Afterwards, the Lion coughed and tried to shake the tears out of his watery eyes. "Now you have that fire in your belly!"
"More like in m' throat!" the Lion gasped.
"I'll bet you'll sweat it off in no time."
"And now, my promise," Jack said smiling. He was interested to see what his dark side will do for this one.
"Oh, I have a way home. I'll have it ready by tomorrow."
"What is it?"
"Come tomorrow around noon and see! Now get out of here!"
Jack slept in a little later than usual. He met his friends right outside the palace. "Scarecrow? Did you take out your new brains?"
"No. Nick just helped me cut them down and put them in my head. I didn't want to poke anybody's eyes out. They still work beautifully. I spent all night thinking excellent thoughts."
Jack was impressed. Scarecrow's voice sounded smoother, and he was speaking correct grammar. Perhaps the false brains had some kind of positive effect.
"And how are you enjoying your new gift?" Jack asked Nick.
"Oh, it still stings," Nick answered, but then sighed, "but it is the sweetest ache in the world."
"Aye, and m' throat is still burnin' but I feel like I can take on anything! Come on, Laddie, show me what ye got!"
"I will not fight a friend," Jack answered laughing.
"Awwwe, come on!"
Around noon, all the Emerald City gathered around the palace. Mad Jack had made a hot air balloon with the Empire's symbol on a black background. Jack had no idea how that would get him home, but at least it will take him across that deadly desert. He and his three friends stood with Mad Jack at the front as he addressed the crowd.
"I'm going far away to visit some old friends. While I'm gone, by the power invested in me, yada yada yada, follow the straw bag over there, 'cause he's smart. And now, I'm outta here!"
Mad Jack stepped into the balloon, and Jack came in as well. "Ah ah ah!" Mad Jack said shaking his finger. "Who said anything about YOU coming?" So saying, he pushed a surprised Jack out of the gondola. Mad Jack cackled loudly and cut the rope that anchored the balloon to the ground.
"Oh no you don't!" Amber grabbed a loose rope and pulled herself up into the gondola. "Look, who's gonna make you omelets in the morning?"
"Gotta point," Mad Jack answered. "Right now, I think I need some sugar!" He grabbed her and gave her a sudden kiss. Jack stood and watched the balloon until it disappeared from sight. Just before it went out of earshot, Mad Jack laughed one more time and yelled, "I'm finally getting out of this dump! Sayonara, losers!"
As the crowd dispersed, Jack drew his sword, screamed, and plunged it into the street. He stayed that way for many minutes, seething in anger and sorrow.
"Please, Jack, stay with us," the Scarecrow pleaded. "You will never have to worry about Aku anymore."
"It is true," Jack whispered. "All evil seems to have been driven from this place. But my conscience will always be plagued knowing that my parents and all my people will forever be slaves."
"Don't go on like this!" Nick said. "I'll cry, and I'll rust again!"
Jack handed him a piece of his robe. "Here. Dry your eyes."
"Perhaps you can call the Winged Monkeys?" the Scarecrow suggested.
"They cannot fly across time," Jack answered. "I would waste one use of the charm. Perhaps I could go on another quest. This is a land of magic. Maybe there's a time portal or someone somewhere who knows such a power. But if this land believed the most powerful wizard was my dark side, my hope would be very grim indeed."
Jellia sat beside Jack. "Sorry. I couldn't help overhearing."
Jack looked up at her. "You didn't go with him?"
"No. There wasn't much of a point once I saw he had nothing to offer. I always suspected he was a phony, really, ever since that one night I nearly accidentally took off my shades and saw things as they were."
"Then why did you worked for him?"
"'Cause it was a much sweeter job than working for E-Mart. And I thought he might know a thing or two."
"Which reminds me," the Scarecrow asked, "who do you think should take Amber's place?"
"Nobody, of course! You're not going to be so strict about not seeing anybody, and I think it's time we enjoy how this city really looks, without the shades." So saying, she fought to take off the shades herself. "See? Things look much better when they're in many colors, not just one.
"But, anyway, as I was going to say, I think you probably should go south and see Glinda."
"Who is she?" Jack asked.
"She's the Good Witch of the South and ruler of Quadling Country. She's very powerful, for real this time. Her palace is on the edge of the desert, so she may have an idea of how to cross it. In fact, I'll bet she already has an idea to send you through time, and she has been waiting to tell it to you."
"How do you know that?"
"Well, it is said she has a book that records everything important that ever happens in Oz. She reads it on a regular basis. She probably already knows you're here and has been working to solve your problem. She will be very helpful, too. Many say she is as good as she is beautiful. But the only way to find out is to go down and see her. She is directly south of the Emerald City. Just be careful. The journey is much more dangerous than any you have faced yet here were. A lot of people on the journey and very territorial. You might want to hang on to that Golden Cap. You probably need to use it a time or two."
"Thank you for your advice," Jack said bowing to her.
"Hey, no problem," Jellia smiled.
"Goodbye, my friends. May your new lives bring you much prosperity and happiness."
"Why do you say that?" Nick said.
"I am not putting you in danger. You have what you wished for. Now let me go alone."
"No!" Scarecrow answered. "You rescued me from the corn field. I got to return the favor."
"My new heart will not rest until I see you home," Nick answered. "Besides, who knows? You might need an extra blade."
"I just gotta go with ye because city life doesn't agree with me," the Lion said. "I wanna find a new home on m' way to helpin' ye."
"Well, I suppose there is no stopping you," Jack answered. "Let's go."
Jellia called after the Scarecrow, "Just make sure you come back soon! Remember, you're our new ruler!"
