Disclaimer: To the demise of myself and advantage of Ms. Rowling, Harry Potter (and all characters not as important) do not belong to me. "Peace on Earth" belongs to U2 (I luv them!) and "Come What May," "Fly away," and "Your Song" are from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack (As if you didn't know THAT by now)
Remus sighed and stretched luxuriously as he climbed out of the sterile white bed of the hospital wing. He pulled on his fresh, new Hogwarts robes, the Gryffindor emblem shining scarlet and gold on the front. He smiled to himself. If there was one thing he loved more than anything, it was these robes, so dearly paid for with blood and tears. It wasn't expensive, of course, in the material sense of the word. His Father held a high position in the Ministry of Magic, and his mother ran one of the few wizard music shops (which was essentially just like a muggle shop- the same instruments, but different music recordings.) It was just the fact that Remus never once imagined that he would ever in his life be donning these robes. It blew his mind even more that he actually had *friends* here, too.
He bent to collect his textbooks off the nightstand, and gathered his ink and quills together. Almost forgotten under his schoolbooks were a little black notebook and a sketchpad. Remus loved to draw, but the one thing that he loved more was to compose music. He had learned theory at an early age from his mother, who had often taken him to work with her to nullify the fact that Remus was alone without friends. During long, lazy summer days he and his mother would practice guitar together, and flute. They would even write lyrics and music for their own songs together.
The little black book contained all the music and lyrics that Remus had written since then. He had been working ESPEACIALLY hard on them now, because he, James, Lily, and Sirius were going to record them all. James had a good voice, so he agreed to be lead vocal (Remus would sing backup). Lily, Remus had been surprised to find out, played various instruments herself, one among them the base, so she had agreed to help them out. Sirius had been delighted to play the drum set, and Remus was playing guitar. Tomorrow, Saturday, they were all taking a trip to his Mother's shop to use her recording room.
He tripped up to the boys' bedroom to drop off his stuff and then made his way down to dinner, for once in an especially good mood. "Hallo," he greeted his friends happily as he slid into an empty seat beside Peter.
"Hello," answered James with a slight smile. "You're in a good mood."
Remus nodded enthusiastically "Can't wait for tomorrow."
Lily's hand, Remus noted, was entwined with James'. He hoped the two of them were together, now. "You seem happy, too," he half-joked.
James blushed and became extremely interested in a morsel of food on his plate.
Sirius also seemed overly interested in his food, as he stared at it fixedly and did not lift his gaze to Remus once. In fact, he had not even acknowledged that Remus was there. He gave him no greeting- not the usual "Decided to join us again, have you?"
Remus leaned towards Peter. "What's wrong with Sirius?"
Peter squirmed and looked extremely nervous. "Well...uh..." he whispered back "maybe you should ask him, later. I can't tell."
"Can't tell?" said Remus, lifting an eyebrow. What did he do this time?
/Humans/ whispered a thought in the back of his head, already half- forgotten. /Humans... Sirius' behavior... his rendezvous with Snape... and what he said at the shack: "I thought maybe I could redeem myself".../ Remus' face drained of blood as he fit the pieces together. /And his last words, before I went to sleep: "I'm Sorry"/
Remus' good mood had by this time completely dissipated. Emotions battled inside of him... rage... betrayal... pain. He gave a choked sob.
"What's wrong?" asked Lily, her voice colored with concern.
Remus shook his head wordlessly for a few moments, until he could form a coherent statement. "Last week... at the shack... there were humans."
Sirius' fork clattered to the plate. He sat, still and pale, across from Remus. This only confirmed what Remus had been thinking. "How could you?!" he cried.
"Remus... please...I'm sorry..."
"I need to...go, I think..." he managed to choke out before running from the dining room. Bitter tears traced their way down his face. And to think, all this time Remus had considered him a friend. /Werewolves can't have friends, I guess. Maybe there's a good reason why society shuns us./
*****************
Sirius couldn't do it. He just couldn't face Remus. As soon as he slid into the seat across from Sirius, happy and glowing and beautiful, Sirius felt his façade slip away. And then Remus figured it out. Of course he figured it out. He's Remus.
And as Remus looked at him, pain and betrayal filling his lovely gold- flecked gray eyes, that was when Sirius felt more terrible than he had when Dumbledore reproached him.
"How could you?!" That one remark cut into his soul deeply. /I don't know. I don't know how. I don't know what I was thinking.../
"Remus... please...I'm sorry..." he said clumsily, flinching as each word left is mouth, knowing that nothing he said was of any comfort to Remus.
Remus' eyes filled with tears, and he quickly excused himself and rushed from the hall. Sirius just sat there, limp and shocked.
"What are you doing, you git?" asked James wryly.
"Huh?"
"Go after him!"
Sirius looked at James incredulously.
"You'll never get him by just sitting there," added Lily calmly over her cup of tea.
"W-what?"
But James just looked at him knowingly. Startled that James already guessed his feelings, Sirius leapt from his seat to chase after Remus.
He found him, huddled by the window in the common room.
"Remus?" The smaller boy jumped at hearing Sirius' voice, but did not turn to acknowledge him.
Sirius sighed, and collapsed behind him, peeking out into the night. "The moon's beautiful tonight, isn't it?"
Still no answer.
"Look, I really am sorry. I-I wasn't thinking. I didn't think the whole thing through. I just- well, Snape always manages somehow to ruin everything that we hold dear. Him blackmailing us- and getting away with it- it just drove me mad. I know I should have thought about you, and James, and how it would affect us, but I didn't. You know me, Moony, when I get an idea into my head..."
"Yes, I do know you," Remus cut him off with a hiss. There was an uneasy silence between them for a few moments, then Remus turned to face Sirius and spoke again. "I suppose you thought it would have been funny."
"Oh, come on, it was just a trick on Snape, a joke..."
"Is this a joke?" cried Remus, pulling back his sleeves to reveal not-quite-healed bite marks running up and down the length of his arms. His eyes shone with unshed tears.
"No..."
"Do you know what happens when a werewolf eats human flesh? Do you?"
"I..."
"They're damned. Damned for an eternity, to suffer in hell just as they have suffered everyday on the face of the earth, if they don't become vampires first. There is no hope for a werewolf once he tastes human flesh. Had I gotten ahold of Snape, he would have not been the only one who suffered, Sirius. Your joke would have claimed my soul, if he hadn't of left. And what, did he bring a friend too?"
"No," murmured Sirius, feeling as if he wanted to just crawl in a hole and die, "that was James. He pulled Snape out."
"And thank God he did," sighed Remus, stopping to wipe his face on his sleeve.
"Remus, I am truly sorry. I can't- find the words to express how I feel right now. I'm not asking you to forgive me. Just- accept my apology. Please," he emphasized the last word with all the desperation he felt in his soul.
"Fine," murmured Remus softly and without a trace of emotion, brushing past Sirius to climb the steps to their room.
Sirius moaned and buried his face in his hands. /That didn't go well at all/
*****************
James awoke the next morning and fumbled for his glasses. "C'mon, you lazy blokes, get up," he called to the three other sleeping forms in the room. "Up, up, up! We've got things to do, remember."
"This is what I get for sharing a room with the captain of the Quidditch team," slurred Sirius from the bed across from James'.
"Damn right," he said cheerfully, pulling on his favorite casual clothes... a pair of jeans and a Chudley Cannons T-shirt.
"I'll meet you downstairs," he said as he scooped up his book that held the score to the music they were to be producing today.
He smiled as he saw Lily at the bottom of the steps, holding a base guitar case and a similar score.
"Good morning," he cooed, giving Lily a quick peck on the cheek. She looked good today, observed James. He told her so. Her hair was pulled into a braid down her back, and she wore a tight, emerald-green shirt and loose black pants.
"Well, thank you," she smiled. "you don't look too bad yourself," and with that she pulled him into a passionate kiss. James gave a little, mental sigh. He loved her so much. He still couldn't believe that this was real- that this was actually happening.
He felt a tug on his shirt "We're leaving without you," teased Remus.
"You know, you three show up at the most inopportune times," sighed James, smiling around at his friends. Sirius was dressed in black, baggy pants and a red shirt with decorative flames crawling up the sleeves, and had a pair of drumsticks in hand. Remus had on khaki pants and a black shirt, and had a guitar case slung over a shoulder. Peter, who was not performing but insisted on coming along to watch, had on jeans and a blue shirt.
"I think we'll fit in good with the muggles," commented James. Remus's mothers's shop was located in a part-muggle village, so they had to dress normally.
"Though I think they might wonder who the Chudley Cannons are," joked Sirius.
The five friends began trekking down to Hogsmeade in order to catch a cab for the shop. Most of the time was spent joking and laughing, but he noticed that there was a strange tension between Sirius and Remus. When James had come up to the room the night before, both had already been in bed with the curtains drawn, so he didn't have a chance to ask how it went. Judging by their behavior, whatever had gone down wasn't good.
Mrs. Lupin's shop was small, but really cool. She had all kinds of instruments lining the walls, lit by sparkle charms. The ceiling was charmed to look like the night sky, and music was playing from hidden speakers around the store. But the best part, James thought, was the record displays. Glowing signs were charmed to float above each one, flashing in a rainbow of colors "Muggle Rock", "Muggle Pop", "Wizard Classical," "WWN Premiers," and so on. The records were held up by actual, living, flowering plants. He walked over and picked up a CD entitled "WOW Collection 135," and the plant limb slithered away. As he placed the CD back down, it slithered up again and snatched it from his hand.
Mrs. Lupin herself was a slight, dark haired woman who shared Remus's gray eyes, and had a little bit of a French accent. "I haven't seen you all in such a long time!" she cried happily, embarrassing each one of them by distributing warm hugs.
After they had exchanged hellos and spoken about how school was going for each of them, she pointed to a door in the recesses of the store. "The recording room is back there. If you need anything, or just a second opinion," she added with a smile "don't hesitate to ask. I'll be in later with some lunch."
The recording room wasn't as exciting as the rest of the store. It was small, with plain white walls and a hardwood floor, `But very good for acoustics' added Remus.
There was a mixing board and a control panel off to the side of the room. A circle of microphones in the center of the room, surrounded by stools and a drum set, were connected to the control panel. Remus busied himself getting everything ready for recording while the rest of them warmed up. Peter took a seat in the corner.
"Everything's ready, I think," called Remus after about ten minutes.
The first song was entitled "Peace on Earth," and was one of James' favorites. It gave him hope that one-day people could live without the fear of Voldemort haunting their every move.
*Heaven on Earth
We need it now
I'm sick of all of this
Hanging around
Sick of sorrow
Sick of pain
Sick of hearing again and again
That there's gonna be
Peace on Earth...*
The song continued on, and all of them got really into it. Next was James' absolute favorite verse. It captured the spirit of the era perfectly...James had to give it to Remus, he was really very talented.
*They're reading names out over the radio
All the folks the rest of us won't get to know
Sean and Julia, Gareth, Ann and Breda
Their lives are bigger, than any big idea...*
The rest of the day was spent talking, laughing and making music. It was one of the happiest times in James' life. With a few friendly suggestions from Mrs. Lupin, the recording turned out rather well, too.
"That's it then," said Remus quietly after the last song had finished.
"Not quite," said James. He pulled out a song that he himself had written, one day while thinking wistfully of Lily. "I thought maybe we could play this."
Everyone stared at him. "You wrote a song?" exclaimed Sirius.
"You all look so surprised," said James wryly. "Here, have a look."
Remus took the score from his grip. "`Come What May'" he read. "But this requires a female part."
"I know. Lily has a good voice."
"W-What? ME? I can't sing..." cried Lily, her face turning red.
Remus eyed her. "I think you could."
"Yeah, c'mon Lil, give it a shot then," urged Sirius.
"Oh, all right," she answered, but her face was still red.
Remus got the recording set up again, and everyone prepared to play.
The song started off with James singing.
* Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I'll love you
Until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day...*
James looked at Lily as he sung, observing how each word was true. He loved her, and he would always love her, until the day he died. He'd loved the way she laughed, talked and smiled. He'd love the way she dressed, the way she moved, and the way her hair threw off the lighting of the room. But most of all he'd love her eyes, beautiful, vivid green windows that showed the depths of her soul. She caught his eye and smiled a bit, then picked up the song. She sang timidly at first, but with more power as she went on.
*...Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace...*
He thought back to the day he had met her, on platform nine and three quarters entering their first year at Hogwarts. Back then, he didn't care about anything, or anyone. He hated the world, for leaving him alone, for taking his parents from him before he even got a chance to know them. But then he saw *her*, and that had all changed. Indeed the world wasn't that bad, if she was in it.
He began to sing with her, their voices in perfect harmony.
*...Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there, by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I'll love you
Until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day
Oh, come what may
Come what may
I will love you...*
Lily loved the song. It was brilliant, absolutely brilliant...just like James. She looked up from the score and admired him for a second. His eyes were closed, his soul devoted entirely to the song. He looked so...adorable, standing there. Like a great big teddy bear or something, that she wanted to run up and hug (Not that he looked like one... he was too handsome for that). Gods, she loved him. It was just the way he treated her... the way he acted, the way he smiled. How could she not love him? He left her no choice. And as they sung, it felt like they were affirming yet again their feelings for each other, making a secret promise that no one else could hear. /I'll always be here.../
*...Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day*
The room was left in an appreciative silence for a moment, until Peter broke it. "That was very beautiful," he murmured quietly.
"Yeah, who would've thought, our Jamsie a musician *and* a poet," broke in Sirius cheerfully. "And I thought all that you were good at was Quidditch."
"Oh, shut it, Sirius," snapped James, but he was smiling brightly.
"It'll take me and my Mum a while to edit and make copies," said Remus, getting straight down to business as usual, "but once we finish, I'll bring them up for you."
"That would be lovely, Remus," said Lily. "Thank you," she added to Mrs. Lupin, who had just appeared in the doorway.
"Oh, it was no trouble at all, Lily dear. I enjoyed seeing you all again."
The five said their good-byes and filed out of the doorway to head home. As Lily was just about to leave when Mrs. Lupin laid a hand on her shoulder and leaned over to whisper in her ear.
"That one's a keeper. Don't ever let him go," she said, nodding towards James.
"Oh, don't worry about that," giggled Lily.
The two shared a secret smile, like those that women exchanged when they knew something that others didn't, and then Lily ran to catch up with the others.
*****************
"Yes, my lord. Sirius Black, James Potter, and Remus Lupin." Snape had just finished conversing with Voldemort, where by some miracle he had convinced him that the three should be their next targets. He smiled grimly to himself. He'd teach them to mess with Severus Snape.
"Which one is Lily's love interest?" hissed Voldemort. He seemed particularly disturbed when he had learned Lily was dating. Snape suspected that Voldemort had a... well, interest, call it, in Lily. He wasn't too sure if Voldemort could actually *love* somebody, but this seemed an awful lot like it. Or, at least like an infatuation. Not that Snape could blame him, of course. He himself was infatuated with her.
"That would be James Potter, Excellency."
"Very well then. I shall call together the order to discuss operations tonight."
"Thank you, my master," said Snape, bowing low. This would be sweet.
*****************
Lily stood out upon the balcony off the Gryffindor common room, gazing at the fields and forests that made up Hogwarts. She was feeling particularly wistful tonight, because she knew she'd have to tell James about her being a Death Eater, and soon. She realized now that she could not hide it from him forever, as she had earlier resolved. Then, there would be no trust between them, and without trust there was no love. She owed James all that she could give him, and that was the truth. No matter how much it would hurt her in the end.
She sighed and began to sing a tune that her mother taught her when she was little.
*I've followed the night
Can't stand the light
When will I begin
To live again?
One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could your love do for me?
When will love be through with me?
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends?*
She walked up to the railing, throwing her voice out over the fields.
*One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends?*
"That was very beautiful," said a low voice behind her.
"Oh! James, you scared me," she smiled.
He walked up to her and took her into his arms. She buried her face in his shoulder and sighed happily.
"Where'd you learn it?"
"My mum taught me."
The two fell into an easy silence. /Now/ decided Lily /I'll tell him now/.
"James..."
"I wrote another song for you," he cut her off. "Do you want to hear it?"
"S...sure." It wasn't her fault if he didn't want to hear what she had to say. Then, all thought slipped her mind as he began to sing.
*My gift is my song
And this one's for you
And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple but
Now that it's done
Hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world...*
James gently pushed her back and looked into her eyes. She had be careful not to swoon.
*Sat on the roof
And I kicked off the moss
Some of these verses, well
They got me quite cross
But the sun's been kind
While I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on
So excuse me for forgetting
`Bout these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
And well the thing is
I really love you
And yours are about the sweetest eyes I've ever seen...*
James took her hand and began to waltz her around the balcony as he , s face illuminated by the moonlight, giving him a beautiful, ethereal look. It felt as if they were dancing about the clouds, Lily reflected dreamily.
*...And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple but
Now that it's done
Hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world*
The last note echoed off the plains, giving a lovely effect to James' voice. He pulled Lily close gently, and their mouths met slowly. His breath fluttered against her lips, and then his own lips were there, making that wonderful shuddery feeling course through her body. How long they stood there like that, Lily didn't know, but she wished the moment would never end.
Finally they broke apart, the need to breathe overpowering them.
"That was very pretty," Lily said breathlessly.
"I meant it, you know. I love you," said James sincerely.
She smiled. "I know."
Suddenly, a brilliant pain lit upon her left arm. /The mark. Voldemort's calling./
"I...I have to go," she said nervously, pushing James away.
"What? Why?" he called, grabbing hold of her arm as she rushed from the balony.
"I just...I have to go. Big project due tomorrow," she said lamely, struggling against his grip. /He's holding my left arm. Oh God, I hope he can't feel the mark burning.../ "Please James..." she pleaded.
"Alright," he said, releasing her arm and giving her a broken look.
She turned and fled, tears leaking unbidden down her face. /I should have told him./ But she found that after that song, she had lost her courage. She knew she wouldn't be able to live if he rejected her. /What happened to there is no love without trust?/
"Shut up," she hissed at herself. "I'll tell him, eventually..."
/I'm so sorry James/
A/N: I hope that wasn't too corny for you! It was my happy chapter (well, except for the whole S/R thing, and except for the Voldemort thing, too.) But most of it was happy! So how'd you like the whole music thing? I recommend reading this chapter while actually listening to the music. *swoons as she pictures James singing to Lily*
James: Erm...aren't you supposed to be addressing the readers now?
OH! Right. Anyway, I'm sorry I took so long to post but the hard drive failed on my computer and I lost whatever I didn't have saved on my floppy. *Takes out a hatchet and smashes dead computer to bits* Anyway, hang on folks `cause this story is gonna get real edgy next chapter! We're just reaching the climax soon! R&R!
Remus sighed and stretched luxuriously as he climbed out of the sterile white bed of the hospital wing. He pulled on his fresh, new Hogwarts robes, the Gryffindor emblem shining scarlet and gold on the front. He smiled to himself. If there was one thing he loved more than anything, it was these robes, so dearly paid for with blood and tears. It wasn't expensive, of course, in the material sense of the word. His Father held a high position in the Ministry of Magic, and his mother ran one of the few wizard music shops (which was essentially just like a muggle shop- the same instruments, but different music recordings.) It was just the fact that Remus never once imagined that he would ever in his life be donning these robes. It blew his mind even more that he actually had *friends* here, too.
He bent to collect his textbooks off the nightstand, and gathered his ink and quills together. Almost forgotten under his schoolbooks were a little black notebook and a sketchpad. Remus loved to draw, but the one thing that he loved more was to compose music. He had learned theory at an early age from his mother, who had often taken him to work with her to nullify the fact that Remus was alone without friends. During long, lazy summer days he and his mother would practice guitar together, and flute. They would even write lyrics and music for their own songs together.
The little black book contained all the music and lyrics that Remus had written since then. He had been working ESPEACIALLY hard on them now, because he, James, Lily, and Sirius were going to record them all. James had a good voice, so he agreed to be lead vocal (Remus would sing backup). Lily, Remus had been surprised to find out, played various instruments herself, one among them the base, so she had agreed to help them out. Sirius had been delighted to play the drum set, and Remus was playing guitar. Tomorrow, Saturday, they were all taking a trip to his Mother's shop to use her recording room.
He tripped up to the boys' bedroom to drop off his stuff and then made his way down to dinner, for once in an especially good mood. "Hallo," he greeted his friends happily as he slid into an empty seat beside Peter.
"Hello," answered James with a slight smile. "You're in a good mood."
Remus nodded enthusiastically "Can't wait for tomorrow."
Lily's hand, Remus noted, was entwined with James'. He hoped the two of them were together, now. "You seem happy, too," he half-joked.
James blushed and became extremely interested in a morsel of food on his plate.
Sirius also seemed overly interested in his food, as he stared at it fixedly and did not lift his gaze to Remus once. In fact, he had not even acknowledged that Remus was there. He gave him no greeting- not the usual "Decided to join us again, have you?"
Remus leaned towards Peter. "What's wrong with Sirius?"
Peter squirmed and looked extremely nervous. "Well...uh..." he whispered back "maybe you should ask him, later. I can't tell."
"Can't tell?" said Remus, lifting an eyebrow. What did he do this time?
/Humans/ whispered a thought in the back of his head, already half- forgotten. /Humans... Sirius' behavior... his rendezvous with Snape... and what he said at the shack: "I thought maybe I could redeem myself".../ Remus' face drained of blood as he fit the pieces together. /And his last words, before I went to sleep: "I'm Sorry"/
Remus' good mood had by this time completely dissipated. Emotions battled inside of him... rage... betrayal... pain. He gave a choked sob.
"What's wrong?" asked Lily, her voice colored with concern.
Remus shook his head wordlessly for a few moments, until he could form a coherent statement. "Last week... at the shack... there were humans."
Sirius' fork clattered to the plate. He sat, still and pale, across from Remus. This only confirmed what Remus had been thinking. "How could you?!" he cried.
"Remus... please...I'm sorry..."
"I need to...go, I think..." he managed to choke out before running from the dining room. Bitter tears traced their way down his face. And to think, all this time Remus had considered him a friend. /Werewolves can't have friends, I guess. Maybe there's a good reason why society shuns us./
*****************
Sirius couldn't do it. He just couldn't face Remus. As soon as he slid into the seat across from Sirius, happy and glowing and beautiful, Sirius felt his façade slip away. And then Remus figured it out. Of course he figured it out. He's Remus.
And as Remus looked at him, pain and betrayal filling his lovely gold- flecked gray eyes, that was when Sirius felt more terrible than he had when Dumbledore reproached him.
"How could you?!" That one remark cut into his soul deeply. /I don't know. I don't know how. I don't know what I was thinking.../
"Remus... please...I'm sorry..." he said clumsily, flinching as each word left is mouth, knowing that nothing he said was of any comfort to Remus.
Remus' eyes filled with tears, and he quickly excused himself and rushed from the hall. Sirius just sat there, limp and shocked.
"What are you doing, you git?" asked James wryly.
"Huh?"
"Go after him!"
Sirius looked at James incredulously.
"You'll never get him by just sitting there," added Lily calmly over her cup of tea.
"W-what?"
But James just looked at him knowingly. Startled that James already guessed his feelings, Sirius leapt from his seat to chase after Remus.
He found him, huddled by the window in the common room.
"Remus?" The smaller boy jumped at hearing Sirius' voice, but did not turn to acknowledge him.
Sirius sighed, and collapsed behind him, peeking out into the night. "The moon's beautiful tonight, isn't it?"
Still no answer.
"Look, I really am sorry. I-I wasn't thinking. I didn't think the whole thing through. I just- well, Snape always manages somehow to ruin everything that we hold dear. Him blackmailing us- and getting away with it- it just drove me mad. I know I should have thought about you, and James, and how it would affect us, but I didn't. You know me, Moony, when I get an idea into my head..."
"Yes, I do know you," Remus cut him off with a hiss. There was an uneasy silence between them for a few moments, then Remus turned to face Sirius and spoke again. "I suppose you thought it would have been funny."
"Oh, come on, it was just a trick on Snape, a joke..."
"Is this a joke?" cried Remus, pulling back his sleeves to reveal not-quite-healed bite marks running up and down the length of his arms. His eyes shone with unshed tears.
"No..."
"Do you know what happens when a werewolf eats human flesh? Do you?"
"I..."
"They're damned. Damned for an eternity, to suffer in hell just as they have suffered everyday on the face of the earth, if they don't become vampires first. There is no hope for a werewolf once he tastes human flesh. Had I gotten ahold of Snape, he would have not been the only one who suffered, Sirius. Your joke would have claimed my soul, if he hadn't of left. And what, did he bring a friend too?"
"No," murmured Sirius, feeling as if he wanted to just crawl in a hole and die, "that was James. He pulled Snape out."
"And thank God he did," sighed Remus, stopping to wipe his face on his sleeve.
"Remus, I am truly sorry. I can't- find the words to express how I feel right now. I'm not asking you to forgive me. Just- accept my apology. Please," he emphasized the last word with all the desperation he felt in his soul.
"Fine," murmured Remus softly and without a trace of emotion, brushing past Sirius to climb the steps to their room.
Sirius moaned and buried his face in his hands. /That didn't go well at all/
*****************
James awoke the next morning and fumbled for his glasses. "C'mon, you lazy blokes, get up," he called to the three other sleeping forms in the room. "Up, up, up! We've got things to do, remember."
"This is what I get for sharing a room with the captain of the Quidditch team," slurred Sirius from the bed across from James'.
"Damn right," he said cheerfully, pulling on his favorite casual clothes... a pair of jeans and a Chudley Cannons T-shirt.
"I'll meet you downstairs," he said as he scooped up his book that held the score to the music they were to be producing today.
He smiled as he saw Lily at the bottom of the steps, holding a base guitar case and a similar score.
"Good morning," he cooed, giving Lily a quick peck on the cheek. She looked good today, observed James. He told her so. Her hair was pulled into a braid down her back, and she wore a tight, emerald-green shirt and loose black pants.
"Well, thank you," she smiled. "you don't look too bad yourself," and with that she pulled him into a passionate kiss. James gave a little, mental sigh. He loved her so much. He still couldn't believe that this was real- that this was actually happening.
He felt a tug on his shirt "We're leaving without you," teased Remus.
"You know, you three show up at the most inopportune times," sighed James, smiling around at his friends. Sirius was dressed in black, baggy pants and a red shirt with decorative flames crawling up the sleeves, and had a pair of drumsticks in hand. Remus had on khaki pants and a black shirt, and had a guitar case slung over a shoulder. Peter, who was not performing but insisted on coming along to watch, had on jeans and a blue shirt.
"I think we'll fit in good with the muggles," commented James. Remus's mothers's shop was located in a part-muggle village, so they had to dress normally.
"Though I think they might wonder who the Chudley Cannons are," joked Sirius.
The five friends began trekking down to Hogsmeade in order to catch a cab for the shop. Most of the time was spent joking and laughing, but he noticed that there was a strange tension between Sirius and Remus. When James had come up to the room the night before, both had already been in bed with the curtains drawn, so he didn't have a chance to ask how it went. Judging by their behavior, whatever had gone down wasn't good.
Mrs. Lupin's shop was small, but really cool. She had all kinds of instruments lining the walls, lit by sparkle charms. The ceiling was charmed to look like the night sky, and music was playing from hidden speakers around the store. But the best part, James thought, was the record displays. Glowing signs were charmed to float above each one, flashing in a rainbow of colors "Muggle Rock", "Muggle Pop", "Wizard Classical," "WWN Premiers," and so on. The records were held up by actual, living, flowering plants. He walked over and picked up a CD entitled "WOW Collection 135," and the plant limb slithered away. As he placed the CD back down, it slithered up again and snatched it from his hand.
Mrs. Lupin herself was a slight, dark haired woman who shared Remus's gray eyes, and had a little bit of a French accent. "I haven't seen you all in such a long time!" she cried happily, embarrassing each one of them by distributing warm hugs.
After they had exchanged hellos and spoken about how school was going for each of them, she pointed to a door in the recesses of the store. "The recording room is back there. If you need anything, or just a second opinion," she added with a smile "don't hesitate to ask. I'll be in later with some lunch."
The recording room wasn't as exciting as the rest of the store. It was small, with plain white walls and a hardwood floor, `But very good for acoustics' added Remus.
There was a mixing board and a control panel off to the side of the room. A circle of microphones in the center of the room, surrounded by stools and a drum set, were connected to the control panel. Remus busied himself getting everything ready for recording while the rest of them warmed up. Peter took a seat in the corner.
"Everything's ready, I think," called Remus after about ten minutes.
The first song was entitled "Peace on Earth," and was one of James' favorites. It gave him hope that one-day people could live without the fear of Voldemort haunting their every move.
*Heaven on Earth
We need it now
I'm sick of all of this
Hanging around
Sick of sorrow
Sick of pain
Sick of hearing again and again
That there's gonna be
Peace on Earth...*
The song continued on, and all of them got really into it. Next was James' absolute favorite verse. It captured the spirit of the era perfectly...James had to give it to Remus, he was really very talented.
*They're reading names out over the radio
All the folks the rest of us won't get to know
Sean and Julia, Gareth, Ann and Breda
Their lives are bigger, than any big idea...*
The rest of the day was spent talking, laughing and making music. It was one of the happiest times in James' life. With a few friendly suggestions from Mrs. Lupin, the recording turned out rather well, too.
"That's it then," said Remus quietly after the last song had finished.
"Not quite," said James. He pulled out a song that he himself had written, one day while thinking wistfully of Lily. "I thought maybe we could play this."
Everyone stared at him. "You wrote a song?" exclaimed Sirius.
"You all look so surprised," said James wryly. "Here, have a look."
Remus took the score from his grip. "`Come What May'" he read. "But this requires a female part."
"I know. Lily has a good voice."
"W-What? ME? I can't sing..." cried Lily, her face turning red.
Remus eyed her. "I think you could."
"Yeah, c'mon Lil, give it a shot then," urged Sirius.
"Oh, all right," she answered, but her face was still red.
Remus got the recording set up again, and everyone prepared to play.
The song started off with James singing.
* Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I'll love you
Until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day...*
James looked at Lily as he sung, observing how each word was true. He loved her, and he would always love her, until the day he died. He'd loved the way she laughed, talked and smiled. He'd love the way she dressed, the way she moved, and the way her hair threw off the lighting of the room. But most of all he'd love her eyes, beautiful, vivid green windows that showed the depths of her soul. She caught his eye and smiled a bit, then picked up the song. She sang timidly at first, but with more power as she went on.
*...Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace...*
He thought back to the day he had met her, on platform nine and three quarters entering their first year at Hogwarts. Back then, he didn't care about anything, or anyone. He hated the world, for leaving him alone, for taking his parents from him before he even got a chance to know them. But then he saw *her*, and that had all changed. Indeed the world wasn't that bad, if she was in it.
He began to sing with her, their voices in perfect harmony.
*...Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there, by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I'll love you
Until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day
Oh, come what may
Come what may
I will love you...*
Lily loved the song. It was brilliant, absolutely brilliant...just like James. She looked up from the score and admired him for a second. His eyes were closed, his soul devoted entirely to the song. He looked so...adorable, standing there. Like a great big teddy bear or something, that she wanted to run up and hug (Not that he looked like one... he was too handsome for that). Gods, she loved him. It was just the way he treated her... the way he acted, the way he smiled. How could she not love him? He left her no choice. And as they sung, it felt like they were affirming yet again their feelings for each other, making a secret promise that no one else could hear. /I'll always be here.../
*...Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day*
The room was left in an appreciative silence for a moment, until Peter broke it. "That was very beautiful," he murmured quietly.
"Yeah, who would've thought, our Jamsie a musician *and* a poet," broke in Sirius cheerfully. "And I thought all that you were good at was Quidditch."
"Oh, shut it, Sirius," snapped James, but he was smiling brightly.
"It'll take me and my Mum a while to edit and make copies," said Remus, getting straight down to business as usual, "but once we finish, I'll bring them up for you."
"That would be lovely, Remus," said Lily. "Thank you," she added to Mrs. Lupin, who had just appeared in the doorway.
"Oh, it was no trouble at all, Lily dear. I enjoyed seeing you all again."
The five said their good-byes and filed out of the doorway to head home. As Lily was just about to leave when Mrs. Lupin laid a hand on her shoulder and leaned over to whisper in her ear.
"That one's a keeper. Don't ever let him go," she said, nodding towards James.
"Oh, don't worry about that," giggled Lily.
The two shared a secret smile, like those that women exchanged when they knew something that others didn't, and then Lily ran to catch up with the others.
*****************
"Yes, my lord. Sirius Black, James Potter, and Remus Lupin." Snape had just finished conversing with Voldemort, where by some miracle he had convinced him that the three should be their next targets. He smiled grimly to himself. He'd teach them to mess with Severus Snape.
"Which one is Lily's love interest?" hissed Voldemort. He seemed particularly disturbed when he had learned Lily was dating. Snape suspected that Voldemort had a... well, interest, call it, in Lily. He wasn't too sure if Voldemort could actually *love* somebody, but this seemed an awful lot like it. Or, at least like an infatuation. Not that Snape could blame him, of course. He himself was infatuated with her.
"That would be James Potter, Excellency."
"Very well then. I shall call together the order to discuss operations tonight."
"Thank you, my master," said Snape, bowing low. This would be sweet.
*****************
Lily stood out upon the balcony off the Gryffindor common room, gazing at the fields and forests that made up Hogwarts. She was feeling particularly wistful tonight, because she knew she'd have to tell James about her being a Death Eater, and soon. She realized now that she could not hide it from him forever, as she had earlier resolved. Then, there would be no trust between them, and without trust there was no love. She owed James all that she could give him, and that was the truth. No matter how much it would hurt her in the end.
She sighed and began to sing a tune that her mother taught her when she was little.
*I've followed the night
Can't stand the light
When will I begin
To live again?
One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could your love do for me?
When will love be through with me?
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends?*
She walked up to the railing, throwing her voice out over the fields.
*One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends?*
"That was very beautiful," said a low voice behind her.
"Oh! James, you scared me," she smiled.
He walked up to her and took her into his arms. She buried her face in his shoulder and sighed happily.
"Where'd you learn it?"
"My mum taught me."
The two fell into an easy silence. /Now/ decided Lily /I'll tell him now/.
"James..."
"I wrote another song for you," he cut her off. "Do you want to hear it?"
"S...sure." It wasn't her fault if he didn't want to hear what she had to say. Then, all thought slipped her mind as he began to sing.
*My gift is my song
And this one's for you
And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple but
Now that it's done
Hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world...*
James gently pushed her back and looked into her eyes. She had be careful not to swoon.
*Sat on the roof
And I kicked off the moss
Some of these verses, well
They got me quite cross
But the sun's been kind
While I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on
So excuse me for forgetting
`Bout these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
And well the thing is
I really love you
And yours are about the sweetest eyes I've ever seen...*
James took her hand and began to waltz her around the balcony as he , s face illuminated by the moonlight, giving him a beautiful, ethereal look. It felt as if they were dancing about the clouds, Lily reflected dreamily.
*...And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple but
Now that it's done
Hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world*
The last note echoed off the plains, giving a lovely effect to James' voice. He pulled Lily close gently, and their mouths met slowly. His breath fluttered against her lips, and then his own lips were there, making that wonderful shuddery feeling course through her body. How long they stood there like that, Lily didn't know, but she wished the moment would never end.
Finally they broke apart, the need to breathe overpowering them.
"That was very pretty," Lily said breathlessly.
"I meant it, you know. I love you," said James sincerely.
She smiled. "I know."
Suddenly, a brilliant pain lit upon her left arm. /The mark. Voldemort's calling./
"I...I have to go," she said nervously, pushing James away.
"What? Why?" he called, grabbing hold of her arm as she rushed from the balony.
"I just...I have to go. Big project due tomorrow," she said lamely, struggling against his grip. /He's holding my left arm. Oh God, I hope he can't feel the mark burning.../ "Please James..." she pleaded.
"Alright," he said, releasing her arm and giving her a broken look.
She turned and fled, tears leaking unbidden down her face. /I should have told him./ But she found that after that song, she had lost her courage. She knew she wouldn't be able to live if he rejected her. /What happened to there is no love without trust?/
"Shut up," she hissed at herself. "I'll tell him, eventually..."
/I'm so sorry James/
A/N: I hope that wasn't too corny for you! It was my happy chapter (well, except for the whole S/R thing, and except for the Voldemort thing, too.) But most of it was happy! So how'd you like the whole music thing? I recommend reading this chapter while actually listening to the music. *swoons as she pictures James singing to Lily*
James: Erm...aren't you supposed to be addressing the readers now?
OH! Right. Anyway, I'm sorry I took so long to post but the hard drive failed on my computer and I lost whatever I didn't have saved on my floppy. *Takes out a hatchet and smashes dead computer to bits* Anyway, hang on folks `cause this story is gonna get real edgy next chapter! We're just reaching the climax soon! R&R!
