Not Going Anywhere

Buffy sighed heavily as she walked into the living room. *Bloody hell* was all she could think as she imagined the soon-to-come reactions of her friends. Then she silently scolded herself for Spike's English slang rubbing off on her. She took a seat on the couch and absently stared into space. She had finally made up her mind. Spike had made it clear that he wasn't just in their relationship for the physical stuff, but the emotional stuff, too. When Spike told her she knew he really meant it. Of course, she'd known before but it had really sunk in.

Now that she knew her decision, she knew she had to tell the Scoobies. They had a right to know. About everything. She had told Dawn that she was seeing Spike and they had broke up, but left out all the details. She sent Willow and Xander notes, as juvenile as it was, telling them to meet her at her house right after sunset because she had news. She hadn't seen Spike since their one meeting after her 'asylum' episode, as Dawn called it. She had been patrolling and she sensed him. He was watching her, protecting her without babying her. And she liked it. Angel had always watched her like she couldn't handle herself, like she was helpless. Riley knew she didn't need protecting but he tried to anyway. He felt overshadowed by her strength. But Spike, he knew she could handle herself but he kept an eye out anyway without getting in her way.

"I know you're there, Spike." She finally said. He stepped out of the shadows but kept his distance, not wanting to crowd her. "Hello, pet." He said, just barely audible. She took a few steps closer and he tensed, waiting for an insult or some kind of abuse. His eyes stayed glued on his feet, and she smiled at the sight of Spike being shy. "Spike, are you going to look at me?" she asked, taking another cautious step closer. He raised his head and met her gaze. "Luv, I want you to know something." He finally said. He had her full attention. "You know I love you. And I think you care for me, even if it isn't love. It's a crumb." He gave her a half smile and her knees went weak. If he only knew what that look did to her.

"I'm not gonna leave you, not like the poof or captain cardboard did. And I'm not gonna give up on you. But I'm not gonna push you. If you want a real relationship with me, you gotta tell your friends about us. No more secrets. I want all of you, not just the physical attraction…as good as that is. If your answer's no, I'll understand. But I'm still gonna be here for you and the nibblet." He took a deep, not needed breath and looked at her, trying to find a reaction. She stood there for a minute, contemplating what he said and what he meant. She closed the space between them and gave him a soft kiss on the lips before turning and leaving him there in the middle of the cemetery.

Xander's knock on the door snapped her back to reality. She got up from her place on the couch and opened the door, motioning for him to come in. At the same time Willow descended the stairs and took a seat in a chair. They stayed there in silence until Spike came through the front door. Buffy had sent him a note, too. She left it taped to the door of his crypt, not wanting to give it to him in person. Spike stood in the hallway, not knowing why he was called to the Summer's house. Willow stayed bolted to the chair, worry over-coming her. Xander's mind was still on Anya, and he leaned against the doorframe to the living room.

Buffy regained her confidence and finally spoke up. "I guess you guys are wondering why I called you here. Don't worry, no demons or apocalypses. Just some stuff I've been meaning to tell you. Stuff about me and Spike" She looked over at Spike to see a hint of hope flash through his eyes. Then she turned to Xander who seemed to come out of his trance, yet he remained silent. Willow stared at the floor; no expression crossed her face. Buffy continued.

"The night I didn't come home, a few months ago. I was monster wrestling, but not in the way you're thinking. That night I was with Spike." Spike shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, hoping this was going in a good direction. Willow's eyes remained fixed on the floor, Buffy wondered if she was even listening. Xander took in a few deep breaths and spoke up. "Buffy, did he hurt you? I mean…you know…force you?" Xander looked almost pained at the idea. Maybe because of his love for Buffy, maybe because he had grown to like Spike, maybe a combination of both.

"No, of course not." Buffy said quickly. "I was the one who initiated it. In fact, I had kissed him after the musical extravaganza at the Bronze, after I followed him out. Since the night we spent together, we've been kind of seeing each other. And then a few weeks ago I broke up with Spike, after Riley showed up." Buffy paused, waiting for a reaction, especially from Willow. But the red head kept her eyes glued to the carpet.

After a few moments Buffy went on. "But I'm taking it back." She said simply. Spike's head snapped up and watched Buffy intently. "When I was with Spike I felt something, even if I resisted at first. You always hurt the ones you love. And, boy did I hurt Spike. But he's still here. And I appreciate it and I'm willing to try for some kind of normal relationship."

Xander snorted at the mention of a 'normal relationship'. Buffy waited for a rude remark but Xander knew better. He approached her and placed a hand on each shoulder. "Buffy, I know a thing or two about unconventional relationships, especially with demons. And someone's past shouldn't stop you from loving him or her now. I'm gonna support you because I hope you can find happiness like I had with Anya. Don't mess it up." He hugged Buffy and let go when he felt tears coming. As quietly as he came in, Xander left. Buffy glanced at Spike, giving him a look to leave her alone with Willow. He got the message and headed upstairs to check on Dawn.

Buffy kneeled down in front of Willow and took her hands in her own. She was about to speak when Willow silenced her. "Buffy, you don't have to convince me. I know you like him and he makes you happy. I wish you would have told me sooner, but I can understand why you didn't. I think this is a good thing with Spike. Like Xander said, it wouldn't be the first time one of us fell for a demon. There's a long list of ex's that weren't normal, but that didn't stop us from loving them." Willow got up and went upstairs to her room, leaving Buffy stunned on the living room floor. She had been expecting a fight, but maybe because of the recent breakups everyone was too ragged to fight. Or maybe they understood. She wasn't sure.

Spike heard Willow go into her room and knew Buffy was alone downstairs. He left Dawn to sleep and went to Buffy. He knew they needed to talk. He reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Buffy seated in the middle of the living room floor. He walked over to her and put out a hand. She took it and stood up, following him onto the back porch. They closed the door behind them and sat down on the back steps. Spike looked up at the sky for a few minutes, wondering if Buffy would make the first move, until he decided she wasn't and spoke up.

"So, you made your choice. I'm glad." He said. She leaned against him and he put his arms around her. She felt comfortable and protected. Safe and warm. They stayed there, together, for almost a half hour before Buffy turned and kissed him. Spike deepened the kiss, missing the feel of her and before long she was straddling him and they were whispering, "I've missed you so much." and "I'm sorry" I each other's ears.

Back in England, Giles made a startling discovery and was on the first plane back to Sunnydale.

Spike went home that night, happier than he had been in months, and Buffy went to bed feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. The next day went as any other. Dawn went off to school and Willow went to class. Xander went to work and Buffy trained in the back of the Magic Box, which was stilled closed due to the absence of Anya. That night however, went a little different.

Spike came over with dinner for Buffy, Dawn and Willow. Willow thought of it as a peace offering. Buffy thought it was cute, and Dawn was ecstatic that Spike was visiting again. They ate their dinner with light conversation and avoided certain subjects. Willow went up to her room to study and Buffy ordered Dawn to study as well. That left her and Spike alone downstairs. Spike was sitting on the couch when Buffy finished cleaning up from dinner. She walked into the living room and curled into Spike's embrace on the couch.

They started to talk about patrolling when Giles burst through the front door with a suitcase and an old, dusty book in hand. He dropped his suitcase in the hallway and began rambling about his discovery. "Buffy, you're in grave danger. The Watcher's Council informed me on a rather dreadful part of your duty as the slayer than had been kept from me intentionally-" he was cut off by the sight of his Slayer curled up in the arms of the peroxide vampire, both staring openmouthed at him. Buffy stood up and through the shock all she could manage to say was "Giles, what are you doing here?"

Giles couldn't answer but he asked he a question in response. "What's going on here? What don't I know?" Spike stood up next to Buffy, ready to defend himself, and Buffy, if needed. Before any of them could speak Dawn came down the stairs and answered for them. "Buffy and Spike are dating. Tara moved out. Xander and Anya had a wedding but Xander broke up with Anya and she left and the Magic Box has been closed ever since. Social Services threatened to take me away. Buffy got turned invisible by a trio of nerds and just last week had an 'asylum' episode. Am I forgetting anything?" she said. Giles jaw dropped. "Oh yea, and Amy's not a rat anymore." Satisfied, Dawn went to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Giles turned to Buffy and Spike saying, "Buffy, is this true?" In response she pulled Spike into a hug and nodded vigorously. Remembering a certain 'will it so' spell, Giles took off his glasses to clean them and yelled, "Willow!" Willow came running down the stairs, hearing Giles' angry tone. "Willow, Buffy is under some spell and I have horrible news." Willow looked confused for a second but then the situation clicked.

"No Giles, Buffy and Spike are really dating. I swear I didn't do any spells…what's the horrible news?" She asked, suddenly becoming concerned. Buffy and Spike sat down on the couch and Willow sat down in the chair as Giles paced nervously around the room. "Wow, Giles. I don't think I've ever seen you this wigged." Buffy said. "Well," Giles replied, "I have good reason." He paused for a second and then continued. "I came across some rather disturbing information about a right of passage that a slayer must go through some time between age 21 and 25."

Buffy grew irritated quickly and stood up. "Giles, there is no way the Council is putting me through another one of those tests-" she began but Giles cut her off. "Buffy, it's not the Council's doing. It's a physical thing...its…its inside you and depending in your internal clock its happens at different times. Like going through puberty or, or menopause or something like that." They could tell Giles was striving for the right words but couldn't seem to find them.

Buffy was seated next to Spike on the couch again with his arm wrapped protectively around her and his free hand stroking hers, comforting her. "So, Giles, what is this change or whatever?" Willow asked.

"Well, it can occur at any time, there is no sure way to predict when exactly, so we must be prepared…" Giles started rambling. Frustrated, Willow stood up and with a 'don't-mess-with-me' tone she said, "What. Is. Going. To. Happen. To. Buffy?"

Giles stopped mid-sentence and looked from Buffy to Willow and then back to Buffy. "In short, Buffy will temporarily become a vampire." Spike's jaw dropped and Buffy's eyes bulged. Willow froze and Giles looked like he was going to pass out. But he continued to explain. "Because any good fighter needs to understand their enemy, you become a vampire for a week or so to become accustomed to their rituals and behaviors and desires. You'll still have your soul and you'll still be Buffy, just as a vampire. So, all the same regulations will apply to you. No sunlight, no crosses, and you'll drink blood."

Buffy was becoming pale and Willow still hadn't moved. Spike's mouth had closed but he had become lost in thought. Giles took their reactions into consideration and tried uselessly to point out the good side. "Well, at least you have Spike to help you. And it is temporary and might prove useful in future battles. Um…I'll go inform Dawn." Giles said, needing to leave the room before Buffy or Willow or even Spike exploded.

Minutes passed before Willow slumped down into her chair and looked at Buffy. "Buffy, what are you gonna do?" Buffy shook her head. "I don't know Will, I don't know. What if I can't control the bloodlust or what if I'm outside, in direct sunlight, when it happens? I could just be walking somewhere and 'poof' no more Buffy." She said, fright filling her eyes. Spike finally spoke up.

"No, I'm not gonna let you go 'poof'. I've lost you once I'm not gonna lose you again because of some soddin' test. Buffy, you have to stay out of direct sunlight from now on. And when I can, I'll be here so I'll hear your heart stop and then we'll know the change has started."

"What? I can't not go out in sunlight forever? What if this thing doesn't happen for another four years? I'm just gonna stay inside forever?" Buffy was almost crying and pulled her knees up to her chest. "Buffy, I'm gonna go ask Giles more about this thing. I can research and maybe find a way to stop it or to know when it's coming." Willow got up from the chair and ran up the stairs to Giles who was in Dawn's room, about to wake her up.

Willow entered the room and motioned for Giles to come out in the hallway and then they both went downstairs. Passing the living room Giles said, "Buffy, I didn't tell Dawn, she was asleep, but maybe you should." Seated in the kitchen, Giles continued to tell Willow everything he knew about the slayer's right if passage.

Buffy was crying by now and Spike was doing all he could to calm her down. A few minutes passed and Buffy finally quieted. "Buffy, luv, I think we should go tell Platelet." Wordlessly, Buffy nodded. Spike helped Buffy up, her knees still weak, and they went up to Dawn's room. The door creaked as they opened it and Buffy sat down on the edge of the bed. She shook Dawn's shoulder, gently, trying to wake her up.

Dawn's eyes fluttered open and, upon seeing Spike and Buffy, she sat straight up. "Wh-What's wrong?" she said, wiping sleep from her eyes. Buffy opened her mouth, but she couldn't speak, she gave a trying look at Spike.

"The watcher's here, and he told us some bad news about big sis' here. Seems there's a right of passage that a slayer goes through right around Buffy's age, but there's no way to tell when exactly it's gonna happen. So, at any time, Buffy could turn into a vampire." Dawn's eyes bulged from their sockets. "What? How? I mean is it forever? She's gonna be a vampire forever? And why would they want a slayer to be a vampire? That doesn't make any sense."

Buffy finally spoke up. "It's only for a week or so. To give me an inside look on the vampire mind, then maybe I can try to understand Spike." Buffy gave a small smile, showing maybe she wasn't gonna have another coma. Dawn hugged Buffy, not sure if she should be angry, happy, confused, or sad. "Ok, you need to get your sleep. You have school in the morning." Buffy kissed Dawn on the forehead and her and Spike left Dawn to sleep.

Back in LA, Cordelia had a blinding vision of Buffy vamping out, and attacking a man with dark hair in the middle of a street. "Oh, god." Cordelia gasped. Angel rushed to her side. "What's wrong Cordy?" he asked. "Angel, it's Buffy…"

Back in Sunnydale Spike and Buffy were sitting on Buffy's bed in silence. "Spike, I'm scared." She told him. Spike moved closer and looked into her eyes. "Buffy, you're gonna be fine. You are the strongest person I have ever met and this soddin' test isn't gonna change that. Bloody hell, you've died twice and you're still strong as ever." He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and got up to leave, thinking she would want to be alone. Buffy sensed he was leaving and grabbed his leather duster saying, "Stay, please." He nodded and removed his duster. Buffy grabbed some pajamas and went to the bathroom to change. When she got back Spike's duster was hanging over a chair and he was staring out the window.

"You know, I've watched you from outside this window so much it's strange to be inside." She laughed and pulled back the comforter on her bed and slipped under them. Spike got up and went to lay down with her when Buffy stopped him. He looked worried until she pointed to his boots and said "Off." He toed off the boots and took off his black shirt, leaving him in his jeans and socks, and hopped into the bed. Getting comfortable, Buffy snuggled closer and Spike was in heaven.

Meanwhile, Angel, Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn, Fred, and Connor were on their way to Sunnydale, breaking the speed limit by at least twenty mph.

It was two am and Spike still wasn't asleep. He was content to lay there with his slayer in his arms. That sounded funny, he had his very own slayer. Who'd a thought, William the Bloody cuddling with the slayer. He let out a slight chuckle and then looked at the clock. Buffy stirred and slowly woke up. She turned and smiled at him. "Hey." She whispered. "Hey, pet." He whispered back. "Spike, I think you should stay here for a few days, while Willow's researching the thing. And, you know, I'm still kinda wigged." She said. He understood. "Whatever you say, luv."

Satisfied, Buffy rolled back over and closed her eyes. Not satisfied, Spike moved closer, put an arm around her and started to kiss her shoulder. Buffy moaned and turned around, bringing him closer. They started to kiss when suddenly Buffy stopped. "What's wrong?" he asked. "We can't." she answered. "Dawn and Willow are in the house." He got the point and moved back a little. "Hey, I have an idea." Buffy said, "How about before sunrise we go to the Magic Box and you can help me train, and then we can take the tunnels back to your place…" Spike agreed. "I definitely like that idea, pet."

A little while later Buffy & Spike got up and went downstairs for breakfast. Spike made himself a cup of hot chocolate and Buffy found a whole bag of little marshmallows for him. Then Buffy made herself some scrambled eggs. It was only five in the morning, but when Dawn heard noises coming from downstairs she decided to investigate.

She sneaked down the stairs and down the hallway and peeked around the corner. "Oh! It's you two." She said when she found Buffy and Spike sitting at the table having breakfast. "Hey Dawn, what are you doing up so early?" Buffy asked. Dawn opened the fridge and poured herself a glass of milk. "Couldn't sleep. Heard noises coming from down here and decided to check it out." She answered, "So what are you guys doing up so early?"

"Me and big sis' are gonna go to the Magic Box to train for a while." Spike answered. Dawn nodded. "Hey, Spike, we should be going. Don't want you to go 'poof' on the way to the Magic Box." Buffy laughed. Spike put the dishes in the sink and got up to follow Buffy upstairs. Dawn called after him, "Nice abs, Spike." Then she started to giggle. Suddenly self-conscious, Spike ran upstairs to get dressed.

Buffy and Spike made it to the Magic Box just before the sun began to come up. Buffy took out her key to open the door, but the lock got jammed. She started to curse when Spike pushed her out of the way and, after a few seconds, swung the door open. The two rushed inside. What they didn't notice was the black car across the street watching them.

"I knew it!" Angel yelled. Connor started to cry and he lowered his voice. "Spike turned her and now he's breaking into stores to steal God knows what! I'm going in after them, call Willow and Xander, tell them to come to the Magic Box." Angel got out of the car and followed the couple into the Magic Box.

Buffy did a quick warm up and Spike watched her while he shed his duster. Suddenly Spike heard something, or rather didn't hear something. Buffy's heart had stopped beating. "Buffy!" he yelled. She spun around. "What?" Spike grabbed her and put his ear to her chest. No heartbeat. "Your heart's not beating, luv." He said. "Oh my god, you mean the change started?" she asked. He nodded in response.

Angel looked around the shop, checking for broken glass or stolen merchandise. Then he heard noises from a back room. He opened the door to find Buffy, his Buffy, making out with Spike in the middle of what was probably a training room. Angel attacked. He ripped Spike off of Buffy and threw him into the wall. Caught off guard, Spike was helpless. Angel punched him and didn't notice when Buffy had grabbed a sword. She lunged and held it an inch or so from Angel's neck, not knowing it was he, she said, "Get back or I'll slice your head off." Angel turned and Buffy gasped. She dropped the sword and stepped back. "Angel, what are you doing here?"

"Cordy had a vision that you were a vampire. I guess she was right. Spike turned you, that's the only way you would ever kiss him. And now he has you robbing and vandalizing stores." Buffy cut him off. "Angel, Spike didn't turn me. There's this prophecy about when a slayer reaches a certain age she turns vamp for a week or so, to get an inside view or whatever. This is Giles Magic Shop, I come here to train."

At that moment Willow and Xander walked into the Magic Box, followed by Cordy, Wesley, Gunn, Fred, and Connor. Angel came out of the training room, telling everyone that it was okay, and Willow explained about the prophecy.

In the training room, Buffy was helping Spike up. Angel had left bruises on his chest, he must have been really mad. Spike took off his shirt, letting Buffy examine the damage, she decided it would heal and he put his shirt back on. Spike put his arm around Buffy and she helped him into the next room and they sat down at the table, everyone's eyes on them. Giles and Dawn came in next. Giles explained the situation in true Giles form. He stuttered and brought out piles of books for everyone to look at, and by the end of the lecture everyone was about to fall asleep. Including Buffy who hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. When Angel looked up he saw Buffy leaning against Spike, her eyes closed and his arm around her. What was going on here? Didn't anyone else see them? Were they always like this? Angel had no idea.

Unable to watch them like that, Angel spoke up. "Um, hello? Does anyone else see Buffy cuddling with the soulless vampire over there? Is it just me or has everyone gone insane?" he yelled. Buffy's eyes snapped open and she yelled back. "Why is it so impossible that me and Spike could be dating? What? You come back and expect me to be waiting for you? You LEFT me! I moved on! Get over it! I'm with Spike now. And you have your own life, so stop judging mine."

Buffy started crying and got up to leave when Angel grabbed her by the arm. She turned and growled at him, in full vamp face. Angel moved back and stared as she ran into the training room. Then Spike stood up. "Great job, peaches. Now you got her all upset. Do you have any idea what she's going through? Things have changed since you left." Spike said. Angel was getting angrier by the second. He turned and stood inches from Spike's face, glaring at him. "You don't know anything about Buffy, William." Angel sneered. Angel was about to punch him again when Dawn ran up to him and slapped him. Angel stepped back and watched Dawn, amazed. Spike only smiled as Dawn stood in front of him, protectively. "You wanna hit Spike, you gotta go through me first." She said. "Thanks Nibblet." He said. Angel was fed up, he growled and brushed past the two and sat down at the opposite side of the shop. Dawn stood triumphantly, and Spike rushed to see if Buffy was okay. Everyone was looking at Dawn, in disbelief, when Dawn saw Connor. "Hey, who's the kid?" she asked.

Spike entered the training room and saw Buffy huddled on the floor crying. He went over to her, trying to comfort her, when they heard Dawn scream from the other room. Spike helped Buffy up and they ran into the room to see Dawn screaming at Angel…who was holding a baby. Buffy was very confused and finally Spike asked, "Nibblet, what's going on?" Dawn whirled around.

"Angel has a SON! Connor. And guess who's the mother? DARLA! He slept with DARLA and they had a SON and he's complaining about you and Buffy! What nerve!" then she turned back to Angel. "You are such a…such a…I can't think of a bad word right now, but you're it!" Dawn screamed then she ran out through the front door of the shop. Buffy went to follow her but Spike pulled her back "Vampire, Buffy. No sunlight for you until your heart starts beating again." He gave her a sorry look. Angel still stood there. Hurt and confused, and really guilty.

Buffy went back to the training room, followed by Willow while Xander went to look for Dawn. Spike stood there for a minute or two, looking at Connor. "Hope you're happy." He said, then he went to join Buffy and Willow in the training room. Giles was searching for a bottle of whiskey. Gunn and Fred sat quietly, being unfamiliar with the people and the town. Wesley and Cordelia were taking care of Connor while Angel just sat there, staring into space.

"Oh, god." Cordelia said. "He's gonna start brooding again." That snapped Angel out of his thought. He stood up and took Connor. "Come on, we're leaving." He said. "Angel, wait. The sunlight." Wesley called. Angel stopped, but didn't turn around. "Giles, do you have a blanket that could get me to the car?" Angel asked. "Yes, right away." Giles answered and he went to the basement. He came back with a heavy blue blanket and handed it to Cordelia. Gunn took Connor and Angel took his blanket and dashed out to the car. They left and were back in LA before lunch.

Buffy cried for almost an hour, and when she stopped Giles explained to her about vampire conception and the prophecy. After sundown, Spike took Buffy home and she went to sleep while he played Scrabble with Dawn. Willow joined them after a while. Xander eventually came over, too. His apartment was too empty without Anya.

Buffy awoke from a frightening dream a few hours later. She ran downstairs and found her friends, minus Spike, playing Scrabble and talking. "Where's Spike?" she asked. She looked like she was going to cry again. They all pointed to the kitchen. She ran into the kitchen and collided with Spike. "What's wrong, luv?" he asked, worried that she was going to cry again. "I thought you left. I had a horrible dream. Drusilla came back and you went with her. She was smiling and telling me I could never be enough for you." Buffy wasn't crying, but she felt like she was about to. Spike hugged her. "Don't worry, pet. I'm not going anywhere." He said, "I'm not going anywhere."