WHOOO!! I'm so glad that you are all enjoying this!! I love Ragamuffin, as if you couldn't tell. And I've always wondered about what Squee would think of a vampire doll and other things.....which you'll find out soon enough! And everyone, flood ff.net's mailbox with requests for a Roman Dirge section!! We NEED one! Well, anywho, on with the fic.

Disclaimer:............I am SO disappointed in you........

Squee had before fallen asleep during Ragamuffin's story, which really ticked him off. Between arguing with Shmee he'd make comments about how no one cared about his story and how people always fell asleep during it.

Make it more graphically detailed. Humans love gore.

"Well I'd be happy to but this kid--Squee, was it?--can't seem to handle gory tales."

Yes, I know. But not when telling it to him. When telling it to others. Just how many people have you told?

"Um......two......"

And they both fell asleep in the middle of it? I hate to admit it but they should give a vampire some respect.

"That's a laugh!!! Good one!! You know how I met up with you two?"

How?

"I was pushed off a building!"

"That sounds not very fun."

"No kidding."

Try burning the person who pushed you.

"Is that your answer to everything?!"

"Yes."

Todd, please, I'm trying to have a conversation. And burning people is a perfect solution!

***

That night, Ragamuffin and Shmee agreed to agree on one thing: Humans love gore but hate it when it's coming from their intestines. That was about it though, seeing as most of their comments were insults ending with "vampire scum-doll" or "hand-me-down". Squee wanted to mention that Ragamuffin didn't exactly have the looks of a brand new $100 toy but didn't want a vampire after his life juice. Even if it was a tiny thing.

Squee had taken Ragamuffin home with him, enjoying his mind not being pestered with Shmee's 'advice' and half enjoying the arguments. Even for a trama-prone kid, two toys arguing was entertaining. Ragamuffin wasn't in too big of a rush to return to Lenore, liking the fact that he felt almost independent and was able to get on Shmee about what a lazy and worthless guardian he was. What was back at his home anyway? Dead cats, a dead girl, a dead--well, just a lot dead-related items.

"Hey, who lives in that excuse for a home?" Ragamuffin asked as they passed Johnny C.'s home.

"The scary neighbor man. His name is Johnny and he k-k-kills people." Squee whimpered, stepping to the edge of the sidewalk in a attempt to get a distance from the rundown shack.

Ragamuffin licked his lips. "Tell me....where does he keep the bodies and in what condition are they in?"

"Ummm......I guess in his scary house and creepy basement. He t-tortures them and stuff..."

Ragamuffin was drooling by this point. "He keeps everyone's organs inside them, free of preservatives and all?"

"I......g-g-g-guess so....."

"Then what are we wasting time for?!?! Let's go!!!" He said as he started to run across the grass, paying no heed to the sign that told him to keep off. His mind was filled with an all-you-can-eat buffet and he had temporarily forgotten that he was a mere dolly belonging to a dead girl and her kitty.

Unfortunately a knife flung out through the boarded-up window, hitting Ragamuffin in the chest and nailing him to the ground.

Shmee laughed uncontrollably as he was carried away by the squeeing 9 year old.

=============================================

"Hey kitty, Ragamuffin has been gone for a long-o time. What do you think he's doing?" Lenore acted out the voice for her kitty in a very high pitch. "Maybe he's meow learned how to fly and found a pretty girl vampire thingie. Meow." Lenore giggled. "Oh you're so silly!! I love you kitty." As Lenore huggled the rotting corspe, a few maggots decided to visit the girl's body. They immediately started chewing away, having a feast(a/n: Sheesh, lots o' talk about eating the dead/dying, no?).

Mr.Gosh, who was being hung with many knives secured in his head, performed a speech about his undying love and eternal worship for Lenore, not minding that she had hung him. This caused the angry and highly annoyed Taxidermy to come out.

"Do you mind?! Please keep it down before I'm forced to do something.....unpleasant."

Mr. Gosh apologized and went on and on with a stupid explanation about why he was behaving so. Resulting in a good head-bashing(a/n: What, did you expect me to do a Lenore-related fanfic with No Gosh-bashing?!).

Lenore continued to have a chat and soon a tea party with her dead kitty and a skunk she found outside that was underneath another skunk, when she realized that she had an extra chair.

"We're missing a guest. Ragamuffin is going to miss out on all the fun and tea!" She tried to sound perky but missed having him at her tea party. The skunk sipped on the tea and started coughing up blood. Soon it had died.

"Awww...you died!!" Lenore threw it half-angrily out the window, where it hit Mr. Gosh and his valentines, once more knocking the love-sick beanbag/zombie out cold(a/n: Gawd that's fun).

Lenore growled as she sat on her bed, sulking. "Ragamuffin, you're very rude to not be here." She grumbled to herself. But she soon had her head hung and arms limply by her sides, sighing.

==============================================

"Shmee, maybe we should go back for him."

OH GOD NO! Are you insane?? Have I lost you to the sickness??? Helping an evil, ruthless killer!!! Todd, are you feeling well??

"He seemed...okay. I mean, he didn't try to eat me. Or drain me of my life juice fluids."

Did you want to wait until he DID?

"You should be nicer to him."

Shmee continued ranting and raving about Ragamuffin, but Squeegee ignored it. He was certainly afraid of being torn apart by that doll but it didn't seem right to leave him with the crazy man.

So what'd ya think of this chapter? It was a little short, but I wanted to leave you hanging in suspense!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm going to go watch Dude Where's My Car now. I never saw it and must see more of the predictable humor! The "and then?" scene was cool......could have been better but whatever. *jumps around* Tomorrow the comic book shop restocks on stuff!! And me-sa going ta go buy me some stuff!! They got our favorite comix PLUS way cool dragon statue thingies. The guys there know their comix and let me slide on 50 cents before. ^_^