Title of Series: Soul Searching

Name: Confusing Clarity

Email: fivexangel@aol.com

Pairings: None as of yet….

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  Not at all.  Besides, why would you want to sue a high school student?  For the lint in my pockets?  Well…ok, if you're really into lint…

Author's Notes: AU.  That's about it.  Oh!  Spoilers for Season five Finale.  Buffy's dead, no one's bringing her back—a s far as I can tell right now at least…  I borrowed some of the comments made in the thoughts, and the situations will probably be somewhat (if not verily) similar to the first few issues of Supergirl—particularly Issue No. 1.  So yeah.  There are excerpts from Michelle Branch's songs.

Summary: When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

Category: Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

Spoilers: Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

Rating: PG, for violence

Dedication: To Sadie, cause you gave me enough drive to continue this (you too Mandy!!) with your one review—see people how reviews beget more story?  ;-)

Feedback: I'd love to get feedback.  So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!

     ===========

     I've been searching deep down in my soul

     Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old

     Looks like I'm starting all over again

     The last three years were just pretend

     ===========

     Her eyes slowly fluttered open as she felt the hot stinging needle spray of the showerhead, the steam rising above her cold body. 

W-where am I?

She guards the bar soap in her hand, holding it for dear life as she struggles to keep her eyes open, The pain is unbearable.  Strange, the pain.  It feels odd, out of place...as if its the first time I've ever felt it, but...who doesn't feel pain?

All these cuts and bruises, where are they from, who did this to me...

...who am I?

She watched as the blood swirled mixing with the water down the drain, and she forces herself up...feel the pain of every bump, of every bruise, her body riddled with them, the blood just poured out of her.  She closed her eyes one more time, finally standing, she shut the valve and grabbed her towel, drying up. 

She was surprised how numb she felt, the pain seemed to just become a tingle and she sighed in relief.  Things were so muddled in her mind, so confusing.  She heard rustling from the room and she suddenly became startled, slowly moving out of the door.  Who's that?  She stared at the man cleaning up the room, placing clothes in a basket, and cleared the tables with obviously untouched food.  He straightened up, his back to her.  She stared at him with his strong build, his dirty blonde hair, and he stood tall with confidence. 

She cleared her throat and quietly asked, "Um, hi...who are you?"

His face.  I feel like I know him, I should know him...

…the guilt alone should clue me in to that…

…Riley…

"Riley?"

He nodded his head lightly, "Hi Faith."

…Faith? 

…Faith...

…Danvers. 

That's it, Faith L. Danvers.  I have a name, check on clue no. 2.

He smiled lightly, "I'm…I'm amazed, all that you went through and not even a mark on you…"

"What?"  She stood straight, and she stared at her body—all the cuts, all the bruises, every purple and red and black mark was gone.  She rushed back into the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror, touching her face lightly, Not even a mark….

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul…

She stared into her eyes, her bright blue eyes. 

…I'm positive mine were brown…

Riley cleared his throat knocking on the frame of the door as he quietly said, "Here are some clean clothes; I took some to my apartment to wash.  When I found you…"  She turned to him, giving him a mix-signaled, and very lifeless nod, and took the pile of clothes, "Thanks."

He shrugged as he turned his back to her.  She shut the door, and he relaxed slightly, "Listen Faith," he said into the door, "after what I saw you do; lets just forget any bad that ever happened between us.  Ok?  I'm willing to forgive and forget if you are."

Faith slid the pants up as she cleared her throat, opening the door, "Hardly a problem."

"What happened last night?  There…there was fire everywhere…and…"  He stared in the tub, he grabbed a towel as Faith searched through her things in the room, "What's this pink stuff?"  He grimaced at the pink sponge-like substance and gagged.  "Faith?"  He turned around as he flushed the contents he held down the toilet and moved out of the bathroom. 

He watched as she rummaged through her things.  "Am I speaking in tongues or something, or…what?"  Faith stood up, grabbing a book as she stared at him with a mystified expression on her face, "I was…lost…and empty...  And…I needed to understand…to learn…"

Riley blinked, "I know we've just established a whole new friendship deal, but I don't think we've evolved so far that I'm able to decipher Faith-code." 

Faith blinked, grabbing Riley's shoulders, "Riley…"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know what I mean." 

She gave him a half amused look and relief washed over him, "Thank God, I was beginning to think I'd be the only one." 

Faith sighed as she looked around, "Do I really wear all this leather?"

He shrugged, "From what I've heard…yeah.  Why?"

She sat on the bed and she scratched her head in frustration, "Faith are you ok?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Giles' been looking for you…"

"Giles?"

Suddenly like a flash, a memory filled her, "It looks like Faith'll be gone for a good long while…"  Her eyes blinked at the image of the middle aged man stood before her, with a group of people she knew—yet she didn't.  His dark green sweeter, the dark pants, and just as quickly as it came, it was gone.

She blinked, "Why?"

"Well," he said solemnly as his eyes dimmed, "Buffy's dead."

"Buffy?"  Another involuntary memory came, and she stared at the blonde girl in her mind as they spared off, fighting through her apartment, crashing through the window landing on the roof top, suddenly finding herself confined to handcuffs and the blonde's voice cry, "What's wrong Faith, all that killing and you're afraid to die!"  Faith shook her head slightly and closed her eyes.  Quietly she replied, "Ever have one of those days where nothing makes sense anymore."

He nodded lightly, "More frequently." 

She sighed, "Riley I…don't remember.  Or…I do…and its like…like I'm seeing all these memories like they're from a distance…like…"  Don't tell anyone Mae, you can't ever tell anyone, said a voice in her mind—such a familiar voice with his blue hair, and his glasses concealing his bright blue ones.

Riley nodded, "I could help.  Some.  Maybe fill in the holes."

She nodded lightly as she tucked her legs in, wrapping her arms around them.

"Well, we've established your name is Faith…I really don't know your last name, or middle…"

"Linda…Danvers."

"Oh."  He cleared his throat, "Right so Faith Linda Danvers."  It's a pretty name, oddly.

Riley grabbed a chair, and sat down, "Well, you lived in Boston for a little bit, and I know that you probably had…a not very nice upbringing."

"How could you…?"  She closed her eyes as a brief flash of a fist slamming into her and the words "ugly little bitch" rang through her mind in a horribly scary tone. 

Riley sighed, "Account sightings, descriptions.  The loneliness, the solitary confinement, the trust issues, it all leads to one thing or another."  He cleared his throat, "That was my way of trying to explain it at least.  Before…" 

He took a deep breath, "I don't know what, or how, but you started traveling, with your watcher—you even ended up in Missouri.  That's where you saw her tortured to death by Kakistos…"

A flood of images filled her mind of the hoofed vampire, with a long blood tinted dagger, and the shouting of a woman's voice that slowly gashed at Faith's heart.  She stood up, and ran out the door.

Riley jumped up, grabbing his coat, "Faith!"  However, the door slammed and by the time he was out, she was long gone—dust in the wind.

*        *        *        *        *

She kept her eyes closed as she ran, the breeze hitting her face.  All these images, all these memories—they're blinding; so random and involuntary. 

Faith opened her eyes as she watched the groups around her slur…

Oh.

…the trees and buildings become streaks of color…

My.

…the color continued to invade until nothing made shapes but instead just the dreaded streaks of color. 

God.

From a distance away she could hear as the masses of people gathered and stared above as a man stood over the ledge with a gun, "Don't do it!" shouted an officer trying his best to contain the situation, but he knew it would be hard with the crowd around him. 

From behind him a spectator shouted, "Do it!  Shoot and jump!  Do it!!" 

The officer glared as he turned back and swiftly shouted, "Keep quiet you!"  The officer looked back up, "Come on, things can't be that bad!  Come down, and we'll talk, I promise none of us will harm you!"

The man's chin trembled, his bottom lip quivered as heavy sweat filled his brow trickling down his face as he shakily mumbled to himself, "No…more…talking…"  He jumped, and was about to pull the trigger when a blur of speed and wind rushed through the crowd, ascended from the ground, and brought him back down leaving him dumbfounded, and the gun in his hand bent.  His eyes were wide open as the cop grabbed him asking, "Who was that?  Was that The Flash?"

The shocked and troubled man shook his head as a small smile cracked and he softly said, "No…no, that was…an angel…"

Farther down the blur of wind came to a lurching stop. 

I…did that. 

I saved…someone. 

I saved a life.

Slowly, and ever so slightly, the emptiness inside ebbs. 

What am I?  I'm…I'm not human…

No…I am

…that question was what's been preying my mind…

…minds…

…mind…

Faith blinked, I have a life.  My name is Faith.  I have a friend named Riley…I think.  I had a family, that wasn't so great.  I wasn't so great…  And it seems everything has been on mass destruct-o-time.  Ok, so all of that sucks, but its still a life, I just…need more answers…

Riley jogged trying to catch up to the raven-haired girl, "Faith," he huffed and puffed grabbing her by the shoulder, "how…how did you get here so fast?"

She stared at him as he tried to collect back the lack of oxygen in his lungs, "I ran."

"Well…it's definitely safe to say that your slayer skills aren't rusty…"

"Slayer…?"  She blinked as another flash of vampires and demons flew by her eyes as she watched herself fighting alongside Buffy, 'Bastards,' she shouted, pounding her fist into one particular bastard, 'never touch me, never ever touch me.'"  She shook her head lightly and watched as the sun started setting, "Maybe we should…"

"Sit.  I need to sit." 

She nodded lightly as she sat down on a bench next to Riley.  She cleared her throat as she said, "Riley fuck the past.  I…its just that, I don't need any info on it.  Lets let the past die." 

That word.  Fuck.  It seems so foreign to me, as if I've never uttered the semblance of any word that was vulgar or immoral…yet at the same time it feels so natural, the cussing. 

…and as I stare at Riley…

A flash of a very naked Riley, soft moans, and a wave of ecstasy filled her mind as she blinked, her eyes wide.  

…something tells me I'm very…experienced…in all sorts of immoral liaisons…

She cleared her throat, "I mean.  Lets talk about present.  You said you found me right?" 

Riley nodded, "Yeah."

"Do you have any idea why I'm here…or…why I was where you found me?"

Riley shook his head, "You just left the last time I saw you…or well, the Buffy you." 

She blinked, "Right." 

He sighed, "You could've gone anywhere, been anywhere.  I was surprised actually.  When I found you, the building was on fire…and…the demons were shouting, and it was awful Faith." 

He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket and started searching for a lighter.  "The first thing I saw when I passed the building was a very beat, very hurt you fighting against a few demons, and Supergirl sprawled on the floor.  Then I saw you collapse on the roof.  There was a wave of…wind I guess, and then the next thing I knew was you, falling down the three story building."  He took a breath as he found the lighter, "I found you.  Strong heartbeat.  I phoned Giles.  He said he sent…"

"Supergirl to find me," she whispered silently and he nodded in response. 

With a sudden flick of the lighter, and the flame rose igniting the cigarette.  Her eyes widened at the sight of the flame and she jumped up, "Oh God." 

Riley was on his feet quick and he gently said, "What?  Did the fire…did it scare you?  Are you ok?" 

He moved to place an arm on her shoulder to calm her down but Faith took a step back and shouted, "Don't…" pushing him away.

He flew back a few feet sliding on the pavement—suddenly thankful that the groups of people that were usually around didn't notice.  He stood up and looked around, "Faith?!"

He spun around, "How the hell do they do that?"  She was gone, and he ran around to find her, he looked left and right, but he didn't look up.  If he had, he would've found her atop the building with her knees tucked under chin, and her arms wrapped around her legs.  As he searched the city, she looked inside for the answers she already knew.

It was dark, they'd beaten me to a bloody pulp, and they pushed me into the hall where their master lingered around in his dark robe, rough and potato sack looking.  His eyes were glowing in so many colors I failed to keep track, but the icy blue tint that terrified me—it was the color of fire when it crackled. 

They knocked me to the floor, and I could hear one of them call him Lojeh and hand him the ritual dagger—I knew I was going to die…and I was so glad.

At the same time I was soaring through the sky of this little town, faster than I ever had in my life as the synthetic protoplasmic being I was.  By the time I found the place, after following the trail of dead bodies, and the fire crackling from the building I stormed in just in time to hear the ritual being completed—almost completed.

Then I saw myself, I was alive yet dying. 

I stared at myself from across the room, I was on fire, burning—dying  with pain, yet I was all too alive and cold, empty.  I fought hard as I could, the demons attacked me…Supergirl…me… but at the same time I saw the determination in her…my…her eyes. 

I stood up with whatever life I had left in me, and hurled myself at them, slamming left and right into the demons as one of the slammed their sword into Supergirl.  I was surprised, the sword slammed into me—my invulnerable skin, but I realized that my invulnerability is psychokinetic in nature; I let my guard down. 

Another demon, an unseen figure, slammed the ceremonial dagger into my, Faith's, my side—tainting the weapon with my blood hurling it in a heartbeat to the fire, a fire that rose higher then I'd ever seen in my life.  It was then that I realized it was a portal, with a very large demon about to step forth.  With a telekinetic blast, I—Supergirl—shattered the knife thwarting the spell…but I couldn't save myself…couldn't save Faith…couldn't save Supergirl…

The demons ran in fear as the master and vile demon of them all cried out in pain, a pain deeper than any sorrow I held…Faith held; sound that filled my ears like a hundred discordant violins, and Lojeh, as he stared at the site, fled in anger vowing vengeance.

A gust of wind had blown through and extinguished the fire, leaving me and Supergirl burned, bloodied, bruised…and dying.  I crawled closer, asking why, staring at myself in the eyes, her blue eyes, and she cried out, "Because the world needs you…" 

I coughed, and silently said to Supergirl, "I screwed everything up…it wasn't supposed to be like this…wish…wish I had the chance to make things different…"

My heart broke staring at Faith and I cried out, "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you…"  And she touched me, and like a surge of energy the protomatter that was my body connected us…merged us…

*        *        *        *        *

The sheriff shouted, "I will not be taking any questions.  I do have a few statements, so thank you for coming.  The causes of the fire, and the arsonists who performed it, are as of yet unknown.  What is known is that the fire was made from within the building, and the residents had taken hold of the abandoned building for months it seems. 

"The whereabouts of Supergirl are still unknown, all that was found was…"  A gust of wind filled the air, as he held up the costume, and then suddenly taken out of his hands, "…Supergirl's costume…"

The reporters and surrounding civilians looked up as they gasped with Supergirl soaring above them in all her glory. 

Somehow, my protoplasmic body merged with that of a dying Slayer named Faith, giving her my life, and another direction in being. 

And it also gave Supergirl a soul, a darkened one, but now that I, Faith, am Supergirl, I have to work at redeeming myself by being Supergirl

 And I hope that God has mercy on my soul…