Title of Series: Soul Searching

Name: Shades of the Past…

Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel

Email: fivexangel@aol.com

Pairings: None as of yet….

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  Not at all.  Besides, why would you want to sue a high school student?  For the lint in my pockets?  Well…ok, if you're really into lint…

Author's Notes: AU.  That's about it.  Oh!  Spoilers for Season five Finale.  Buffy's dead, no one's bringing her back—a s far as I can tell right now at least…  I borrowed some of the comments made in the thoughts, and the situations will probably be somewhat (if not verily) similar to the first few issues of Supergirl—particularly Issue No. 1.  So yeah.  There are excerpts from Incubus' songs.

Summary: When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

Category: Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

Spoilers: Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

Rating: PG, for violence

Dedication: To anyone who reads this, thank you.

Feedback: I'd love to get feedback.  So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!

     ==========

     seven a.m.;

     the garbage truck beeps as it backs up

     and I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away.

     Could I push Rewind?

     The credits traverse, signifying the end

     but I missed the best part.

     Could we please go back to start?

                        —Forgive my indecision—

     ==========

     Riley waited in the frame of the door as Faith gathered her things, picking up her room.  She's definitely different from what I've always heard.  He slowly squatted down as he watched her, She's definitely become less pale—maybe that was the coma's after affect, or maybe it was the toll her body had taken, but her color is definitely brighter, and she looks…happy.  Perhaps whatever demons she has in her head have finally ceased.  Riley chucked, "God listen to you Smallville, you sound like a shrink."  Well that was your major…

     Faith looked up from where she was gathering her clothes and grinned, "Are you done staring?"

     Riley cleared his throat, "Sorry."

     She shrugged, putting the last of her stuff away and looked around the room—everything was organized.  She sat on the bed, placing a long lock of hair behind her ear, only to have it fall back out of place, "Thanks for putting me up Riley."

     He shrugged, "Least I can do until you get back on your feet."  He smiled, "Hey maybe when you're ready we'll do a little sparring and keep up the training…"

     "Training?"  She replied a bit spaced out.

     "You know, Slayer training.  The whole shebang."

     "Oh," she looked down, "Right."  She nodded, "In a while."

     "Penny for your thoughts."

     She looked up, "Its nothing, I just…I feel like there's something I'm forgetting, like there's a place I'm supposed to be." 

He shrugged, "Well you're here for a bit, so why don't you rest." 

She nodded, "Ok.  I'll talk to you later."

     "I'll get us some dinner while I'm out." 

     "Thanks." 

He strolled out of the room, shutting it closed behind him.  Finally, she thought.  Quietly she morphed out of Faith's form, and into Supergirl's, I thought he'd never leave.  Supergirl floated in the air staring a pile of pictures, The morph to Faith gets easier each time—don't know if that's a good thing or not.  The odd thing is every time I morph into Supergirl, the more I feel I'm in Faith's skin.  She sighed as she stared at the pictures.

The world of Faith Danvers is a strange one. 

I should know. 

It's my world now.

Trying to separate Supergirl and Faith is very difficult, I can't tell the difference between my life as Supergirl begins, and my life as Faith ends; its like she's always been there—in a strange and very freaky way.

This was all definitely new, she had friends…a friend, a family—sort of, and she had…she stared at her clothes, "Oh my God."  She shut the windows and glared, "I can't morph clothes?"  She morphed back into Faith and glared, "Ok, another little idiosyncrasy I have to get used to."  She cleared her throat and resumed her post at the items she believed would help her. 

I thought maybe by looking at some of Faith's old stuff, it'd tell me more about her…my…past, give me more than fractured memories.  She randomly picked up a pair of jeans, poking her finger through the hole, "These…jeans, I remember these jeans."  Her mind flashed back to that day four years ago, Buzz…I know him, he…  "…burned a hole in my pants, fucker.  You did that on purpose," she yelped as he chuckled, flicking the cigarette away. 

Buzz sneered, "Of course, luv, everything's on purpose…"

Faith glared, "Oh yeah?  Well, how do you explain your mother popping you out?!"  She grumbled as she stormed out of the bar into the dead of night. 

Buzz grinned, "Fate, luv.  Fate."

"Fuckin' prick," Faith mumbled under her breath as she changed into her jacket, then the hands came, chuckling and laughing like sucking chest wounds talking about Kakistos…

Faith closed her eyes and shook away the memory, staring at the picture, "Buzz…" 

The name rang in her mind as her eyes widened, "You!  It was you!"  The moment in the warehouse filled her mind, the man who knifed her, the man who knifed Faith, was Buzz!  She glared as another memory filled her mind, "The name is Buzz, and we'll meet again, Angelic One."

Ok, now we're moving into wigging territory.

A slow knock came from the door, "Who is it?  Riley?" 

Faith rushed toward the door, "Always the gentleman, what's up?"  She opened the door and her eyes opened wide, "Giles."

"Hello, Faith." 

She blinked, silence stood between them for a long minute before she managed to stammer an invitation into the room. 

"How are you?"

"As good as I can be, considering."

"Yes, Riley told me over the telephone."

She nodded lightly, "What…what brings you to this side of California?"

He gave Faith a small smile, "You, really."

Her face became tight and soft.  "You're not afraid I'm going to kill you?"

He chuckled.  "Faith, I wouldn't of come if you were going to kill anyone," he hinted toward the main part of the apartment, "and good old Riley over there wouldn't be here." 

She nodded lightly before sitting down, "What do you want from me?"

"To be your Watcher.  A Watcher without a Slayer is pretty much just watching Masterpiece Theatre…as Buffy once put it."

Faith chuckled, "You were never one for proverbial teenage banter, Mr. Giles."

He nodded, "And you weren't one for the words "proverbial teenage banter" within the same sentence." 

She blinked, "Ok, so you got me.  I learned a few new words." 

He chortled lightly, "Faith, I know that you're intelligent, and I know you have what it takes…"

"To be a slayer."

He nodded, "And I could help you channel that rage of yours."  He stared her and quietly added, "Though something tells me you've…tapered off the wild streak." 

She shrugged, "Near death to a bloody pulp and a ritual of some sort will do that to a girl."

"So it seems."  Giles pulled off his glasses and started wiping them, for a reason Faith didn't recognize, she became nervous, "Giles, what is it?"

"Did Supergirl tell you…?"

"Tell me?  She didn't exactly have time what with the demons, and the nearly being killed."

"Oh my, is she all right?"

Faith nodded, "Yeah." 

You could say that…

"Why?"

"I sent her to look for you."

A flash of Giles speaking with Supergirl filled her mind and she shook her head lightly, "Why?"

He cleared his throat, "You know that…"

"Buffy's not of the living."  She nodded and Giles went on, "And then I assume you know that only one Slayer can carry on the line of the Slayer, yes?"

Faith looked down, it all started coming back to her, but she kept quiet.  "Faith, I'm giving you a possibility of a second chance at life.  If you come back with me to Sunnydale, then…"

"The council won't send out assassins."

He nodded.

"I can take care of myself…"

"Faith…"

She sighed, "Look Giles, I don't have a lot of my memories, and everything's a blur, even the slaying," she sighed, "but the fact that I wasn't exactly the model student, or the fact that I was a very bad person doesn't escape me.  I know it.  I feel it, Giles.  I did a lot of wrong and it all happened in Sunnydale."

She sat down quietly as she whispered, "If I go back there I don't know if I'm going to be able to face…the shades of the past."

Giles sighed, "Faith I know you have your reservations, and I take them to heart, but the fact remains that you're the only one who can help us save the world.  If you come back, I'll help you.  I'll be at your side, I'll be your Watcher." 

She looked up at him, "What if I do go and I have nobody…"

He shook his head, "You'll always have me."

Riley chimed in startling both Faith and Giles, "And you'll always have me, we're friends remember." 

She nodded lightly, turning back to Giles. 

He put on his glasses and quietly said, "You come back with me and I'll show you how be a Slayer."

Faith gave him a sincere glance as she softly said, "A Slayer like Buffy?"

He shook his head, "No.  A Slayer like Faith." 

She sighed and stood up, "You better leave, Mr. Giles."

The Watcher stood up with a shocked expression spread over his face.  She smiled softly, "I have to start packing." 

Giles nodded and grinned proudly, "You won't regret this Faith."

I doubt it, but I have to face my demons some time.

==========

I haven't felt the way I feel today

in so long it's hard for me to specify.

I'm beginning to notice how much this

feels like a waking limb…pins and needles,

                   Nice to know you…

                             Goodbye!

So, could it be that it has been there all along?

==========

Fear.

Riding into Sunnydale brought out fear in her. 

Staring out the window of Giles' car, she sat filled with dread. 

This town brought out the worst in her. 

She knew nothing about it, except for a few general rules her subconscious gave out—watch your back at night, nothing is ever as it seems, its never a dull day on the hellmouth.  She was thankful now for the lack of involuntary walks down memory lane; there were parts of herself that she just didn't want to remember and everything about Sunnydale told her she really didn't want the visuals that went with whatever hint of guilt filled her heart at that moment.

She held her breath as they drove up to the house coming to a complete stop.  She sat in the car staring at the house, So this is it, 1630 Revello Drive; this is what it all comes down to.

"Are you ready?"

"No."  She turned back and smiled, "But its not like I have any other choice."  One thing she'd give herself, she was definitely good at hiding fear.

"Giles…"

He turned back to her before he stepped out of the car.  "Yes?"

"What are we doing here?  I mean…I know I'm back in Sunnydale so I don't get the old heave-ho, but…why Buffy's?"

He smiled lightly, "I'm staying here for a bit." 

She nodded lightly, "Joyce says it's ok?"

His face darkened, "She's…"

She blinked, "Oh man.  I…I'm so sorry.  She was…she was good people."  Her eyebrows furrowed and her face softened, "She was the only who wouldn't give up on me, gave me more credit than I deserved."  She cleared her throat, choking back any tears, and stepped out of the car, leaving Giles speechless.

*        *        *        *        *

"Did Giles say when he was going to be back?"

"Nope," Dawn replied as she stared at an offending algebra problem.  Who cared if x equaled seventy-two squared times y?  She was quite sure she'd never need it—when would The Key have to know algebra, she thought bitterly.  She looked up at Willow who continued click-clacking into her laptop—another journal entry she supposed, "Giles only said that he'd be back when the business he was 'attending to' would be done.  You know, typical Giles.  I mean, it's his fault for going to do the whole Magic Box thing by himself…"

"I offered to go, but he was very adamant about going by himself…"

"Guess he needed time to think, too." 

Willow shrugged lightly, her typing slowing down.  As Dawn watched her, she thought, I hope he convinces Faith to come back soon—and I hope she's…not psychotic.

Dawn looked back at her paper, sneering at the problems.  She stood up to get some water, watching Willow carefully.  Dawn could tell Giles' little trip had upset her, and she also knew that Giles was probably lying about where he went; Dawn hated lying to Willow about where Giles really went, but she had promised Giles.  He's ok.  He'll be ok.

"I just wish he'd get back soon," Willow whispered to herself.

The door in the living room opened and Giles burst through noisily.  Dawn jumped at the sound, dropping her banana.  Thankfully, she placed her coke on the counter.  She grabbed the banana and ran into the living room, "Giles!"  He smiled lightly as he gave Dawn a small hug and waved at Willow.

"Did you find her?  Huh?  She with you?"

Willow stood up, a confused expression glued to her features, "Huh?"

Giles gave Dawn an annoyed leer and she gave a nervous chuckle, "Sorry."

Giles turned around, "Faith…"

Willow gave them a questioning glance, "Faith?"  Quickly her features went from questioning to alarmed, "Faith!  Giles, why didn't you tell us?!"

"He told me."  Dawn said lightly. 

Willow slightly glared at her, "Well, why didn't you tell me!" 

Dawn rubbed the back of her neck, "I promised?"  Willow grunted in anger.

Faith walked up the steps to the porch, staring at the doorframe.  She placed her bags down as Giles came out, "...are you sure this is going to be ok?"

He nodded, "Just…" 

Willow came out, figurative guns blazing, "Faith!" 

Faith took a step back, "H-hey, Red…"  She closed her eyes as she quietly correcting herself, "Willow."

"Giles, what is she doing here?"

Faith stood behind him, grabbing her arm in an awkward stance as he replied, "You remember what I told you in the back patio?" 

She nodded lightly, "Yes.  But I never expected that you would go and find her, bring her here, and make her live in Buffy's home!" 

Faith shook her head, "Listen, Giles, I'm just going to…I'll go look around the city start patrol early…."  She turned around to leave, but bumped into Xander, Oh God.

"Faith!"  He jumped back, hiding behind Anya, before realizing the very unmanly thing he'd just done and cleared his throat, "What…the…heck?"

Giles shook his head, taking off his glasses and rubbed them clean, "Faith, its daylight, and…3 in the afternoon.  It's safe to say your escape plan would be faulty."  He quietly added, "And after your ordeal, I'm not sure you're ready." 

She nodded lightly, quietly mumbling, "Great, small space no escape…" 

Willow glared, "What do you mean her ordeal?  What about Buffy's?  Ours?"

Giles shot Willow an angry glare, causing her to bite her tongue, and take an uneasy step back, as Xander and Anya looked about in confusion.  Xander raised his hand, as Faith backed away from them.  Xander headed up the steps, "Giles, care to share and extinguish the confusion?"

Dawn came outside, and she glared at all of them, "God, you guys are so not grown-ups."  They turned back to her as she rolled her eyes, "Come on, Faith, let's get you something to eat, you're probably hungry."  She glared at Willow, "You can stay here tonight in Buffy's room, or you can room with me if you don't want to be alone, it is my house last time I checked." 

Faith's eyebrows rose, Looks like someone picked up a thing or two from B.  She hesitantly started for the door when Xander stepped in her way, "You try anything…"

Faith looked up at him, slightly annoyed, "I understand you have your reservations, all of you, and I would be angry at me too, and weary," she gave Xander a careful once over, "but don't ever get in my way again Xander.  I'm sorry for what pain I caused you," her voice became quavered and her features stung with pain, "God knows I'm going to be paying for it for the rest of my life, but don't stand in my way again."  She looked away, "Got it?" 

He relaxed as he stared at her in surprise, slowly moving back. 

She moved further away from him before she looked back slightly, "I'm…sorry."

*        *        *        *        *

Dawn led the way through the house as Faith followed, lagging a bit behind.  Everything seemed so much the same—but she knew how different things were.  Dawn turned back, "Sorry about that, they're just uber-wiggy."

Faith shrugged lightly, "Its all right, I deserve it."

Dawn frowned, "Maybe a little, but I think they hold grudges too long.  I mean yeah, big hairy evil chick that went psycho—but I don't think they take into account you're about my age.  That they had so much more than you did," she blinked, "no offense." 

Faith cleared her throat as she shrugged. 

Dawn entered the kitchen, as Faith sat on the stool near the counter, "I don't think they get that you're just a girl."

Faith nodded lightly, "Well, sometimes those reasons just aren't enough."

Dawn shook her head, "But they should be." 

Faith fidgeted as she talked, the innocence still untainted.  Faith looked up, "How long…"

Dawn rubbed the back of her neck as she squeaked out, "It's been about almost a month."

"Wow."

"Yeah.  We had the funeral a bit late, what with everything going on, and not exactly knowing where the money was coming from…" 

Faith nodded, "What happened?"

"Nose dive into a portal of doom.  The usual."  Dawn fiddled with the cap of the bottle of soda, "It was my fault." 

Faith looked up at her, "I highly doubt that.  Unless you pushed her off."

"If I had never been there, if the monks had just…"

"Monks?" 

Dawn shook her head, "Forget it."

Faith stood up, grabbing the coke from her.  She moved to the cabinets grabbing two glasses serving the two of them, "Listen, I may not be too certain about stuff, but one thing is for sure, Buffy would do anything for you guys, including giving up her life.  If it hadn't been for you Dawn, of all people, it would've been for Xander, or Giles, or Willow."  She stared off, "That's just the kind of people she was."  She gave Dawn a glass, taking a sip from her own, "She was a good person; a brave person."

"You really did go through a lot didn't you?"

Faith chuckled, "I guess."

"Where'd you go?"

"Not sure."  She stared into her glass, "I'm pretty sure I went all over the place, settled in a city a whiles from here…it was small, I'm not sure how I got there.  I'm not sure about many things lately."  She took a deep breath, "Dawn…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm…you know, I'm sorry for everything, right?"

Dawn laughed, "Of course, Faith.  Otherwise, why would you be here?  I mean yeah, you're here to save your ass, but…if you hadn't changed, you wouldn't care.  I know my mom wasn't going to give up on you, even after you and Buffy did the body switching." 

Dawn looked back up at her, "You will be sticking around," she traced the glass with her fingers, a nervous tone of voice, "right?  You won't leave everything to go to hell around here right?"

Faith stared at Dawn for a long while before she quietly replied, "Count on it."